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MY FiRST LOVE COMES AROUND AFTER 2 YRS BUT.....
okay, this is going to be kind of long since you need background information. my "first love" and i had been "talking" for 2 years but were never an official couple. he took my virginity and we've been through alot, we would never fully commit to a relationship and never spent any "quality time" with me, like we would hangout but we would never really go anywhere. but i ended up falling in love with him, but he was involved in selling drugs, and didnt want a girlfriend while he was living that life. so i would try to move on and talk to other guys and we would go months on end without talking then he would find out and try to become part of my life again only to leave once he was sure he still had me. well this started in 04 and continued on till now basically again we hadnt been talking for a while and i was determined to move on and i met this boy max. max is involved in selling drugs so i cant say hes better in that way, but he's affectionate with him in front of his friends, funny my friends and family all love him, and hes a total sweetheart. everytime i even hear his name i smile. now my "first" called me around newyears and got sent away to tennesse he came over to say goodbye and FINNALY said i love you back and i gave him my chain. he calls me everynight now, and really wants to get on track tell me he loves me, and hes finnaly opening up and hes been immature. blaise blaise. you get the point. well were together officially now. and why i thought this is what i always wanted i cant help but think about max. me and my mom got into an argument over my first the otherday and for the first time she hit me, i ran away and i ended up going to max and he stayed with me and was helping me out. i then called my first and told him what happened he made me return home. max then got kinda quiet, but later that night i txt him thank you and sorry and everything and he was just like dont worry about it i like you alot. and i like him alot too but i couldnt say that. all my homegirls think it should be obvious and im dumb for even thinking about max. i mean i waited two years for my first. but i was starting to move on and max just sort of had that impact on me, i dont know maybe its my fear of commitment but i think i really do care. but my first is opening up and i do still love him, but i think he waited two long. im at complete lost. at what i should do. i dont want to put my first down when hes already down but at the same time. i care for both of them. HELP!
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Ok heres the thing I think that you will always love and have feelings for your first and since he is your first in both love and sex there will always be that attachment but honey I think you gotta let him go cause from what you have written and this is my own opinion it seems that he only wants you when he cant have you.
Max seems like the best choice for you in the love situation but in the drugs situation I would ditch them both cause one day you guys may be out having a perfectly nice night when all of a sudden you both get arrested.
But like I say this is only my opinion.
I hope I have helped and that one day you find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve.
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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hey, well you shouldnt be in a relationship with either one of them if you have feelings for both of them. also whatever you do DONT GO OUT WITH BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME! they will find out and you will end up SINGLE AND LONELY. so dont try that one. i would wait it out some more and decide who treats you better and who you love more. if your 100% sure on who then thats the one you should be with. what i do when im in situations like this is think of what my life would be like without each of them. whoever you think you would "die without" more is the one.
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Hey darling,
I don't really know what to say... You and only you can make your own decision and your decision should be respected! I personally don't like the fact hat these guys are selling drugs but that of course is my very own opinion... Maybe you needed your first to come around to show you who you really loved etc... Don't worry about him being already down, you may make it worse but at the end of the day you have to do whats best and right for you. I am sorry to hear that your mum hit you, have you spoken to her about that? Maybe your first ordered you to go home because you were with max!?!?! you going straight to max for his strength and guidence tells me you love and need him more.
Hope you sort it out, hoping you all the best
Elle
p.s let me know how things are travelling
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Ok your "first" loves you but once he feels that your growing apart he starts to feel insecure and tries to get you back then when he knows he has you again, he returns to his distant self. He doesnt sound like a very good boyfriend. I mean i dont know the guy to say if he is or not but it sounds like he just needs someone with him. Max seems to be inlove with you and wants to be with you. I know you waited a long time for your "first" but he didnt realise what he had infront of him the whole time. I think its unfair to max for you to just go to your "first" when hes hardly been there for you. Max seems like a good choice for a boyfriend who will always be there for you and love you. Dont choose Max just because i think you should if you love your "first" more then stick with him. I hope everything works out alright =] Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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