I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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So my best guy friend ever asked me out in January and I don't like him, but got kind of pressured into saying yes. So I did and I was hoping I'd start to like him but I still don't.
But the thing is, I want to have my first kiss with him, he's the only one I can see it happening with. (link)
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You can't have this both ways. You can't tell him I felt pressured to go out with you and have no physical attraction and then want a first kiss. How's he supposed to react? I'm sure he won't be in the mood to oblige.
You need to tell him the relationship isn't working and there's nothing that can fix that. I would look to someone else for a kiss. You can mention you wanted one but I can't see it happening given the fact you're out to unload him afterward.
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So i realized that i still like my ex. from a long while ago/ my best friend. It hurts because i know he does not want me, nor will he. I feel like i have a giant whole in my heart.
Yet.. I want him to be happy. I want to be his friend. I don't want to like him. I don't want to feel this way. I even sent him a link for top ten christian dating sites. just so that maybe he will find happyness.
I'm trying to not text him. I'm trying to tell myself he is just my friend. he is just a friend. I don't like him everytime i talk tohim.
Any advice would be very very very much appreciated! (link)
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I don't think denying the truth to yourself or him is doing you any good. You cannot control how you really feel inside and trying to stop natural emotion is futile and painful. The thing is it's natural and you aren't over him yet.
It's okay to feel this way so long as you don't act upon it. The desire for him to be happy is a good one but he doesn't need tips, links etc. from you or texts.
The fact is he's someone who you had an intimate connection with so no matter what he's more than just a friend to you but you have to realize it didn't work out and you can't fix it and move on.
You can be supportive and a friend but distance yourself more. Tell him that it's hard to be friends and you're still recovering from the breakup and want him to be happy.
Over time you will meet someone new and be able to move on making him a friend will be easier but for now you need to find something that makes you happy and try to dull the pain because that's what he wants for you. Hang in there it does get easier.
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i was going out with a girl and then she broke it of ignored me for days and then turned around and said she has a new guy hes amazing better then me this devistated me then next day come up i love you wel be back together after me and him wel be fine and then ignored me compltley and dident wanan know me why she was with him and then she did same next day and again ignored me .. :/ n then come up and said i hate you in a long time i said it because i felt sorry for you the truth is i never loved you
now for me this has had me upset for a long time i have had her mates oh she had sex with him the next day she stopped talking to you hes the best there going out there going cinema there doing this there doing that ive attempted suicide :/ cut my self over and over :'( overdosed :/ :'( and i feel like i should keep doing so until it is successful i dont know what to do anymore please help :'( (link)
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Your problem is bigger than just a girl if you are cutting yourself and trying to die. You NEED to go to an emergency room and tell them the TRUTH. They will have you assessed by an on-call psychiatrist who will start treating your mental health issue.
They may put you on a 51/50 hold to observe you for 72 hours and keep you from harm. If they hold you longer it's to treat you and make sure you are SAFE and won't harm yourself. Frankly you need this and the rest and to sort out your life.
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How do you get an unlisted phone number? (link)
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Pretty easily. When you make an appointment for a provider to provide service for your land line tell them you want an unlisted phone number as your new number. Do the same thing when you move or if you just want to change it now.
There's a fee involved but it isn't huge and it keeps your number out of online searches and any phone directory. Just ask and they'll set it all up.
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I am a current sophomore in highschool and I'm moving onto junior year pretty soon. I'm in all honors and one AP this year but so far my grades aren't the best. Last tear I took all honors and I received As and Bs except for one FAIL on the second semester of geometry out of 6 classes. This year in the first semester of 10th grade I received a D in Spanish a D in AP World history and an F in honors Chemistry.now in in the second semester and I have a FAIL in Spanish 2 the highest I can raise it at this rate is to a D. I feel like commiting suicide because I can't get into NYU or Columbia or UCBerkeley by the look of these grades. Ps first semester everyone cheated for the classes I did terrible in , so much for being honest. Idk what to do. Dying is my only option now. Is there any hope left for me? (link)
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If you want to die over this than you have a whole other set of problems you need help with. That's NOT rational thinking.
You did the very best you could in difficult subjects (chemistry) World History and Spanish. They aren't easy. When it comes to college and university those marks are only of concern to recruiters if they had something to do with the program you wanted to be in.
If they see all A's, a few B's and 1-3 awful grades in other subjects all they'll realize is that you aren't good in those areas and then will look at all those high grades and honors and balance it out based on whether you are able to handle their program.
Trust me if you apply they'll give you an interview where you can be honest about how hard those classes were and that people cheated and you got those marks cause you didn't.
Columbia, NYU and UC Berkley are lofty goals for anyone. Getting into the top-tier schools is brutal period. Guess what? None of them have rejected you yet and until they do and IF they do you have no reason to be upset yet.
Let's say you don't get accepted. It's a disappointment to be sure but there are tons of colleges and universities who would take one look at your overall academic record, minus the 3 bad grades and make you an offer.
Don't limit yourself and perhaps those top-tier schools aren't your rightful place somewhere is and you'll get a decent education. I hope that puts it into proper prospective. We always end up where we truly belong.
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How can i broaden my vocal and get a better tone for my voice? (link)
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Try consulting a vocal coach because this is their specialty and they can teach you all the tricks you need to achieve what you asked.
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I've been on an amazing diet and i already lost 607 pounds
accept this morning i weighed myself and i gained a pound.
i didn't cheat or anything. i gained a pound and i am so upset.
what did i do? (link)
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What time of day did you weigh yourself? You need to do it first thing in the morning before eating so it's your real weight. Is there any chance that your floor has a slant or the scale was moved to a different position on it? That can affect read out.
I wouldn't be too concerned as the pound it says you gained is likely just water and nothing else. it's fairly common and I wouldn't be concerned.
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Don't worry, I'm not going to do it, as the cons greatly outweigh the pros, and I know suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. but ever since I've put myself in more stress the more I think about it. I don't even have any methods planned or anything, it's just when I feel really sad and ashamed I want to just melt into the ground and not be seen, and not try and reach out for help. i've started seeing a therapist but I hate how it's only once a week, I feel like I have so much to get off my chest. I think all my problems revolve around me being a perfectionist, so it's like because I haven't been perfect I don't deserve to exist. I'm so much harder on myself than others. I accept others when they fail but I feel like I need to be extremely successful when I'm older, and know that I can, but being a perfectionist just gets in the way because it immobilizes me, makes me procrastinate, and then makes me feel guilty. it's an endless cycle. it's so hard to break out of it, and i know it's wrong but I still feel like I have to do even do more perfect work to make up for my f*** ups in the past. it's like i'm trapped in a hell of my mind. why can't i just let the past go so I can start working on reaching my dreams? why am I doing this to myself when it's stupid and doesn't get me anywhere? I want to be a high achiever instead of a perfectionist, so I can accept my mistakes and still work hard. but how do I do this? I still have many perfectionistic tendencies..
sometimes I'm afraid of a loss of control, though. like i have to go to the bathroom before going anywhere, like the bus or in a car, or i'll have anxiety over suddenly needing to use the bathroom. and train stations scare me cause i'm afraid something will make me want to run and jump on the tracks.. i don't know why i'm afraid of this when it's never something i'd want to do and yet it's like i'm afraid of myself. i also put walls between me and most people. one benefit is that they aren't close enough to really hurt me at my core, but the cons are a lot worse as it's prevented me from having meaningful relationships, really, if i can't even trust others with my problems. i like to help out others and am open minded with them and yet i think they'll think negatively of me and leave me if i tell them my closest feelings. ugh why have i allowed myself to be this stupid. i wish i could just snap out of it, maybe if i did a long time ago my teenage years wouln't have sucked so bad and i'd actually be going to a great college right now on full scholarship. now im going to community college and i want to transfer later with great grades but i need to get a drive to do it and believe in myself or i'll just end up doing the same BS I've been doing in high school. i know i'm smart enough to do well in this world, but how can i get out of my rut?? (link)
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Ditch the therapist. This person isn't remotely qualified despite their efforts to provide you with the support you really need. What you need is a psychiatrist to treat you.
While I cannot say what mental illness you may have what you have told us about anxiety, perfection, and suicidal thoughts definitely falls into that category. This is especially so as these thoughts are constant on an endless internal record functioning as your own thinking but is a disease nattering at you trying to convince you of it.
What I want you to do tonight is go to an emergency room. Tell them that you are overwhelmed, have severe anxiety about certain issues and thoughts of suicide that you won't act on but is always constant. They will assign you a psychiatrist who will assess you and start proper treatment.
Do NOT put this off as it will get worse in intensity if you do. They may keep you 72 hours to determine treatment and just observe your overall behavior. I wouldn't fret over that as they're keeping you in a 100% safe environment and letting you, your mind and your body have sufficient enough rest.
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I have a 1993 Honda accord. It needs new Roters and I'm trying to figure out how much they would cost along with the labor. Just an estimation is all I'm looking for. Thank you! (link)
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Take it to any repair shop and ask for a free estimate on parts and labor for your car. They'll tell you and it will actually vary significantly by repair shop.
Best bet is to go to a HONDA dealership and tell them you know you need routers and want an estimate on parts and labor and they'll tell you straight up the full cost without any funny business. You can then opt to have them do it or go to a garage that will do so cheaper or the same.
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My daughter thinks I expect her to be perfect in everything. I don't mean to convey this message. I just want her to do her best and maybe this is seen as wanting her to be perfect. Everytime I try to help her with something or give her advice, I receive a big backlash from her. Again, she tells me I am not her coach or I want her to be perfect. I am just trying to be a helpful mom. Any suggestions? (link)
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Tell her that you won't offer assistance with school work or anything else unless she directly asks for it. See what she thinks then. Tell her the only pressure on her shoulders is the unjust pressure she's placing on her own self.
Let her know that you don't want perfection but rather for her to be happy and that whatever she produces you know is her best work and that's all that matters as long as she tried that's all and there's no other expectation.
Show that through action and she should see it. You can't convince her of that which she doesn't want to believe but you can try and spell it out to her in a discussion.
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how to commit suiside the easyiest way. (link)
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Do yourself a favor and recognize that these thoughts of death aren't yours and aren't normal. You have a mental illness of some sort that is fueling this desire and it's NOT NORMAL!
No matter what situation you are in that may seem unbearable it isn't. Every single situation no matter how awful it seems now is solvable without death. What you OWE yourself to do is go to any emergency room in your city and tell them you have suicidal thoughts and are thinking of death constantly.
Their on call psychiatrist will place you on a 51/50 hold for 72 hours to evaluate you, start treatment and put you on medication that will make you think a lot better of your situation and restore to you what this has taken away--mental clarity and a decent life. You don't have to die to turn things around.
There is no easy way to die anyways. Not to be graphic but you wind up being examined by forensic pathologists when you die from suicide or something unexplained and it's not a nice thing what they do and rather gruesome business (autopsy).
You also cause unending pain to people you leave behind and die for a stupid reason when you have many years to live and to flourish. Do the right thing and get help tonight!
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Hi I'm nine and female. I want to kiss this boy after school but I'm afraid he say no. I'm sure bcuz when he once kissed me on the cheek and when we got mad at school I blurted it out. I'm not sure if he's hurt on the inside. (link)
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You can't tell how someone thinks or feels about anything or if something hurt so you better ask the source. If you want to kiss him either ask to do so or just kiss him and see the reaction. Boys simply don't kiss girls they don't like on the cheek either. It looks like you need to move first.
Having said that 9-years-old is pretty young to be worried or interested in this. I point this out because a lot of 9-year-old boys are more interested in action figures than girls much less kissing one. Don't be shocked if he doesn't know how to handle this or what he wants.
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I speak too fast,sometimes i eat words.How to improve?
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How long has this been going on? If it's something that has been happening pretty recent I've got some legitimate concerns. This isn't to scare the shit out of you but rather to make you aware of a potential issue.
People who speak too fast and eat whole words and haven't got control concern me for a medical issue. Speaking far too fast and having thoughts that constantly race without ease is part of hypomania and one of the tell-tale signs someone could become bipolar. Not everyone does but it's a key sign.
Knowing this now here's what you should do. Mention it to your parents that you are concerned and have heard that rapid speaking and thoughts that come too fast are a primary sign of bipolar or that something is amiss. Ask them to consult with a doctor to rule out a medical issue.
If it's nothing medical consulting a speech therapist may improve the issue but yes, I'm pretty concerned because of the symptoms I mentioned in ruling that out completely first.
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so ive come to the conclusion that i hold my friends to a really high standard. i get really mad when they flake on plans on ditch me or anything like that and in my mind it makes sense to be mad about these things but the are always surprised and never see what they did wrong. im starting to think i just get mad too easily and id love to fix this but i dont know how. i want to just get over it and move on but i know deep down im still mad and if i pretend not to be im just being fake. how do i actually get myself to not get so mad? (link)
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The best way to handle this is to recognize there is a problem that needs to be fixed. Put that in the check column. Next you need to seriously want to work at it. It appears you do.
That's another good thing about you because most people can't or won't admit that there even is one to begin with. What you need is professional help (no you aren't crazy nor need you be) from a therapist who handles anger issues among other things to figure out where yours truly comes from (insecurity) and can give you sound advice and techniques to prevent you from blowing up easily.
Your friends are indeed pains in the butt with how they commit and then back out of plans but they aren't the real issue. It's your reaction that is your problem and something you can learn to control.
You have obviously told these friends of yours that when they do this abruptly and frequently that it pisses this girl right off. To them they hold the belief that "life happens" and scuttling plans last minute is normal. It's normal but not if it's too frequent.
You told them so don't make waves as they will ditch you for it. I would hold my tongue and realize that this is just their personality and to understand that 50% of the time they come through and 50% they don't and just relax and go with what they toss you and make lemonaide when it doesn't go the way you want.
Like I said, find a therapist and work on the anger as the reaction is what you need to learn to control and to see when it's worth it to get pissed and stewing versus when it isn't.
Anger is like drinking a bucket of Draino repeatedly. It can't affect them but sure does poison you the more you indulge in it. Don't sweat this stuff with them as it's not worth it just roll with what they give you as that's how to handle them.
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First off, I want to explain that I love my boyfriend very much. He is an amazing man, I care about him a lot, and I know he has both of our best interests at heart.
Before we ever met, both he and I had committed that we would not be involved with any partner sexually before marriage. It is clear that even though he is a a grown man (22), he wouldn't have very much experience with orgasm, and of course I don't know much about it either.
The other day, we were at a park sitting close together, and kissing a little. We were sitting there talking and such for a long time, but when we had gotten up, he noticed he had a wet stain on his pants...which he was super embarrassed about and explained to me it was an "accident" and that he really really likes me so sometimes its difficult.
Now I know this is really embarrassing for him so its awkward for me to talk to him about it, but I do have questions. Is this normal for guys to experience? Is there anyway to stop this? Is there something I am doing that is causing this? Will he ever grow out of this? Will he ever be able to last during sex? He says sometimes it happens and he doesn't even notice...does it count as a orgasm then if he isn't FEELING it?
I love this man so dearly and I want him to be happy and healthy. I hope someone can answer my questions! (link)
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The most important thing is not to blame him, show frustration or make it a big issue. It would seem the only problem here is that he's easily aroused by you and his sex drive is really high. In a way it's flattering but in others embarrassing for you both.
One thing he could try is self-pleasure immediately before the date as that will lower hormonal surges and arousal so perhaps when he meets you this won't happen at all or easily. If it continues have him see a urologist and discuss the problem as they will have ideas on how to lessen the liklihood of sudden ejaculation. They deal exclusively with the function of sexual organs and emissions, urination etc. I doubt it's a health issue but it's something that needs to be curbed though.
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Well my dear boyfriend wants to buy a vibrator for me to use when having sex with him,wtf?Out of the blue he comes up with this.What does it mean?He has a nice and huge p****,so why does he wanna get this thing?I'm not saying I don't like sex toys though,but this is a bit weird,help? (link)
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Tell that to him. Seriously! Tell him you're not a prude and aren't against toys but why does he want you to use one during intercourse? I'm sure he would tell you. It may have to do with him and certain stimulation or could be something else. Only he can tell you why he's desiring this.
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My mother is very religious and tries to force me to be, too, but I'm REALLY not. But she keeps pushing me to be more like her or even my older sister. She says she loves me no matter what, but she still attempts to force me to be someone I'm not: a sweet little Christian-y angel. How can I deal with her without resorting to murder? (link)
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What a lovely topic headline for Mother's Day. It's a mother's role to encourage her children. She may see potential in you that you haven't discovered. She sees that your sister is flourishing and wants and knows she can get the same from you.
Aside from that she knows you are entirely different people and you could point out that you're very different and though she means well the comparison/contracts she is making hurts and you feel as though no matter what it isn't good enough. If she sees how this upsets you maybe she'll set the record straight that it's not meant to have caused you a lot of stress.
Religion is a difficult subject. Being truthful is the only way. Tell her that you respect her religious choice but that you feel uncomfortable with the idea of GOD and that Christianity may not be your thing. Ask her not to make it an issue with you that you just don't believe the same things.
If you do this in an adult civilized manner I'm sure even if she doesn't agree with your choices that she'll give you space on them and back off on the pressure on both issues. No need to resort to violence and or the more disgusting view of murder. She's your mom. Show her the respect you've been wanting and she'll reciprocate.
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ideas (link)
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You have made this hard for us. You didn't say what you were actually talented in. Can you sing? How about dance? Are you funny? Can you act? What can you do that nobody else in that school can? ask yourself those questions first.
If you can sing try and put together an arrangement of a song you like that others know and put your unique style on it. If you act do a monologue, or if you know other actors put together a series of original sketches, do your own stand-up routine if you have a comedic side. You can put together a solo dance routine if you dance or if you find others who can choreograph an ensemble piece. find what you do best and run with it.
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i have never had an orgasam during sex or hit my g-spot what is the best way to hit your g-spot and have an orgasam during sex (link)
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It's actually pretty hard to stimulate the G-spot during sex or period. From reading I know it's 2-3 inches inside the front vaginal wall. That's what makes it hard to hit during sex itself from what I've read as the penis doesn't angle so it hits it.
There are how-to articles etc. and resources that we can't link you to but if inclined they're easy to pull up on the Internet. Regardless, it takes a lot of patience.
As far as inability to climax on your own or with a partner you may find solid advice from your gynecologist about this frustration.
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So I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm a virgin I masturbate with a fat sharpie marker. I can get it all the way in me without hurting. Does that mean I "popped my own cherry?" Also why does it hurt when I move the marker in me like I feel a pain right beneath my belly button like its cramps or something. Is that how it will feel whenever I do finally decide to have sex? Please help me. (link)
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The one thing I want to reiterate is that you should NEVER use any object that isn't designed specifically for vaginal insertion to engage in this activity.
Not only can you scratch and or cause injury getting anything lodged there that requires doctor's removal to get it out isn't good either. It sounds like this pen was the cause of pain so cease doing that. As far as sex there's no correlation.
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