Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84148
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Families
Parenting
View All
|
| |
|
Hey* I am really thin im 5"5 and i weigh 95 pounds and im 14! But i have nO chest (breasts)! What can i do i try everything i never stuffed my self though so dont say that...lol! I feel so left out especially with my friends because they all have breasts and i dont! I mean i cant even wear a decent bathing suit in the summer or clothes that you need to have breasts to wear them! Help me PlEaSe Ty~ =) (link)
|
Watch the top models on TV. I mean the ones that command 2,500 dollars to walk down a runway. They are tall and thin like you are. They don't have breasts either. The designers don't want them to. It gets in the way of their designs. If you get any taller, you will be a perfect model. A runway model. Since you are only 14, most likely you will get taller. That "waif-like" look that you posses is what Ralph Laurenlikes in his Models. Pick up a copy of VOGUE magazine. And watch that show on TV America's next model. I'll bet you will see yourself there. I would have given anything to be as thin as you are when I was young.
Lots of luck.
Michele
|
|
Hi, I'm a male 35 yrs of age trying to choose a wife. (1)why do woman dress provocitave like show alot cleavige? (2)why do some woman like to glance or look at a mans crouch? (3)why do some woman constantly talk to thier co-worker about sex/men and penis size what kind of woman is she and how does she realy feel about men? (4)when a group of woman go out every weekend to a nightclub/dance/bar, after exchanging phone numbers and meeting a couple of men, what are thier real intentions? (5)why do woman dress nice/tight/sexy for work, when thier job workplace involves sweat, dirt and lifting boxes? all woman love to look beautiful,but where do u draw the line? All woman love to recieve compliments ,but which are out to seek them? Which is the nice girl and which is the slut? Please include:other websites, links/books/ect.. thank you, needto choosemissrite (link)
|
Where do you work? If you want to meet a nice girl, it is time to start hanging where nice girls (women) go. And it is obviously not the places that you have been going. I'm am not saying you have to go to church, but what are your likes and hobbies. Do you like camping, fishing? Riding bikes, working out. There's a suggestion, there are a lot of nice girls in gyms. Much better place than a bar to meet a real girl.
Michele
|
hello,
ok my friend has a problem she likes this guy but she cant trust him at all ok.no one can really trust him i mean he has like gfs but umm when he does he flirts with everybody else and he has a crush on my friend but she doesnt want to go out with him because she cant trust him. she tried to advoid him but that didnt work lol. now shes gonna try to talk to him and tell him she just wants to keep it at a friends level. how can she do this without ruining the friendship. (link)
|
It takes two people to ruin the friendship. And if her intentions are NOT to ruin it, and when she is honest with him about being friends, and he wants more than that, then yes, the friendship may be ruined, but it will be on him. And if he is that selfish, then who needs him.
She is right to keep him at a friendship only level. Girls, you have to learn to trust your instincts. If he really cherishes you, you will know it. He will make sure you know it. If he is a player and just wants to use you, you all get that message by his actions, and you know it in your hearts, but we all think that we will be the ONE to change him. That is why there is such a long line of broken hearts that follow a guy like that.
Michele
|
|
I was very intruiged by a previous question about the world ending. It got me thinking, many people have alterior motives. Such as Andrew Jackson, did he put the cherokees through the Trail of Tears becasue he wanted to save them from the Georgians, or did he move them because he was racist. Also, im sure many other people had alterior motives toward what they did, like Hitler, Stalin, Martin Luther King Jr. I'm not attempting to be biases here, so don't immediatly assume that i think hitler is a racist bastard, because im a Jewe. And don't i hate Stalin because he's a communist bastard, because im Russian. Im not black though, that would just be weird. A black, jewish, russian guy? Anyway, back to the question, many people chose alterior motives, but why is that? Is it for self-benefit (which is whati beleive is the main reason), is it for society, or is it just so they can have something for themselves and only themselves? Take as long as you want to answer, ill read it all. (link)
|
I think these men who go down in history for killing thousands and thousands are ego maniacs. They are narcisstic and they only surround themselves with people who agree with them all the time. In the eyes of the people they keep close to them, the can do nothing wrong. Soon they start to believe that and use their power to control and make the world the way they think it should be. The kinds of thoughts plague me too. I wonder, how could anyone do that to another human being? Aren't we all equal?
And I believe that we are. I could never do that. I especially hate men who abuse women and grown ups who abuse children. This is on a much smaller scale but the need to control is the same. They just don't have an army at their disposal which would let them control whole generations of peoples. These kinds of things are going on in the world today. In the Sudan if Africa....arab muslims against black muslims. In the middle east, men against women who have no rights at all in those countries. I am glad that you do think about these things, because it says that you won't do those kinds of things. But we also have to do something to prevent them, in our own little way. Even if we see it in our home, or school or neighborhood. We need to speak out against people who abuse other people.
Michele
|
My periods are very irregular, even though i've had them for almost 4 years now, my hair is falling out, im always tired, i get contipated and my nails are really weak. Does anyone what these symptoms could mean? my mum has a thyroid robleem and thinks i could have it also, i want to go to the docters but im terrified of needles, and they'll want a blood sample.
Please help (link)
|
Sounds like you could also be anemic which is a lack of iron in your blood, or a lack of B-12. WE only get iron or b-12 from meat sources or seaweed products. How is your diet. If you don't eat any meat that may be the reason for your symptoms. Ask the doctor to please tell you what he thinks you may have based just on your symptoms. And tell him if you eat a poor diet.
Michele
|
|
I have a boyfriend that I love with all my heart but I'm bi.He doesn't know it. There was one time that he accidently called me bi and I fussed at him.I said he would probably like it if I was. He said he would never like that because she would be licking and then trying to kiss him.He said bi girls were nasty as hell. Because of that I haven't told him I was bi because I'm scared he is going to break up with me. What should I do? (link)
|
Honesty is the best policy in any relationship if you expect it to last. But you say that no way he would stay with you if you are bi. Then it is time to find someone who loves you for who you are. If being bi is an important aspect of your personality that you are invested in, then you need to find someone who respects that. However, if being bi means you have the right to cheat on your boyfriend with your girlfriend, or cheat on your girlfriend with your boyfriend, well...that's no different than them doing it to you. So be sure that this is all ok with you before you enter into any committed relationship.
Michele
|
R.I.P Pope John Paul II Karol Wojtyla
Now that he has passed away, how does everyone feel? What do you think is gonna happen? Is the world really gonna come to an end? - xglam0urx (link)
|
Pope John Paul touched so many ordinary people's lives. he was a great man. I am glad to have been around when he was Pope. I hope more people chose to be like him. He was very Christ-like. Rather than catholic. I don't think the next pope will be as charismatic as John Paul. PS no the world is not going to come to an end.
Michele
|
|
I like the stuff EBAY sells but my mom doesn't want to give her credit card number..do they take checks?What is PAYPAL? (link)
|
Your mom would have register on pay pal and use her credit card there also. I have bought lots of things on ebay, there was never a problem. Butyou have to look at the individual seller, whose stuff you want to bid on and buy. He/she may take checks. They just will not ship your item until the check clears. I sold on ebay for a long time, and I did take checks. Never had a problem. paypal is perfectly safe for credit card use.
Michele
|
|
hey.. its me.. i wrote bout my family. and my father, i`d like to thank you personally.. i really loved your advise. I`v been think about what you said, and all that stuff.. its hard to think that i live in this house.. and ever sinc ei was small they`d argue. Me and brother would sit together.. or he`d have to calm me down.. sometimes let me sleep with him. now its diff. were older.. and im stuck.. its just so scary.. but shouldnt i be haooy that im stilla live.. people are much worse.. or im being all self centered... my gf is a online thing. i care bout her. and yes my dad changed my veiw on guys. but some guys did it too.. shes comin down from states in june and i dont wanan freak her out or something. she met my parents before and i met hers very nice.. but what if my dad like freakes out damn.. i gotta stop thinking dont i? lol im just so scaried to telll her..telling her is the best thing to do.. i know because my minds telling me its the right thing. *nods* shes on.. thanks again michelle.. btw im daynah lol 16 from canada. nice to meet you. (link)
|
Hi Dayna,
I am glad to meet you. I am french canadian myself. I used to visit Canada with my Grandmother many years ago. Do you think your parents will be cool while your friend is visiting. Hopefully. But if your father drinks, I doubt that he can maintain it. Don't let him find out about your relationship, that it is more than friends. Anyone like that, who thinks he know better than anyone else, will just hit the roof and he'll threaten to disown you. I hope you have plan to leave there as soon as you are 18. Concentrate on getting an education so you can afford to leave. I left home at 18 and never went back. I still see just my mother oncein a while, but we are not close. I'd rather not see her at all. Anyway, don't leave in a hurry with the wrong person just to get out of the house. Even though it's tough. Get a good job and support yourself. Go to college at night while you work. Then when you are supporting yourself well, you can say to hell with all of you. Expect your mom if you want to stay in touch with her. This will all be over someday, hang in there, and don't let it ruin your life.
Bye. Thanks for writing back.
Michele
|
|
okay..i sweat alot in my armpits! i use secret platinum gel and it hasnt been working. i dont smell (atleast i dont think) but i get really really soaked in my pits rite when i get to school! its awful! please help! what is the strongest womens deodarant/antipersperant you know of? help me out please! (link)
|
Dear sweat:
There is a conditon called Hyperhidrosis. Maybe you have that. Do a google search and look for information on it. Maybe it will tell you some foods or drinks to avoid. Hope this helps.
Michele
|
|
Im gonna try to make this as short as possible so no one has to read alot. There is this guy that goes to my church that plays guitar in the band.When i saw him i thought he was so cute and looked like a nice guy. I didnt know how old he was so i asked someone and they said they think he is 16.. and they also said I am to young for him becaue i am 13 but I dont think its that big of a diffrence. I wanna talk to him but im scared to and im never scared to talk to guys he is the only one. I dont know if i like him like that i just wanna get to know him and stuff because he may have a girlfriend. What should I do? (link)
|
Your nervous to talk to him because you really like him and you are afraid of rejection. We all go through that, at every age. You may very well be to young for him, but why not let him decide that. All the info you have on him, came from someone else. You don't really know the truth. the best thing is to talk to him. And he may be cool towards you because he does have a girlfriend, but the only way you will find out is to talk to him.
Honey there is no way you can go through life without being rejected at some time or another We have all experienced it. And sometimes we do the rejecting. It is not to be taken personally. It just is. We all have different likes and dislikes. If we all liked the same thing, then we would all be in love with Justin Timberlake and Jessica Simpson. And where would that leave the rest of all the men and women on earth. (sorry if I sound corny) Anyway. go for it, just talk to him. Then you'll know for sure.
But if he is 16....then.....you are too young. But you can still be friends.
Michele
|
Teen christianity is becoming an enormous problem. In hordes normal children are being brainwashed into believing their elders that the world will end within their lifetimes.
As a result kids aren't just kids anymore. Everything that used to be "fun" is suddenly a "sin." We're busy thinking about heaven and our church before we hardly even had a chance to see the world, and we're waiting for the "world to end."
What a crock of sh**. I personally don't even want to go with Jesus if there is an apocolypse. I never was attracted to Christianity. Your parents shove it down your throats before you even have a chance to thin for yourselves. It's a religion created by old men, for old men, and against personal gain or women in general. Well, being an AMBITIOUS woman and a FEMINIST I want nothing to do with this faith. I know I'll be getting some violent attacks from all of you brainwashed little turds about how right you are and wrong I am, and I'll sit here and sigh and understand because you're in a box that you didn't necessarily put yourself in.
So here is my question- what makes you believe anyway? (link)
|
I agree with you sort of. Religion as you know it on earth, was created by old men. And I too had it shoved down my throat all my young years. 8 years of catholic school, and church two or three times a week.....
I do believe in God and Jesus, and if the preachers here on earth reallyed acted christian like, they would be a lot different. Most of them are selfish, and egotistical, and say you have to believe in their way and their way is the only way. Well not true.
Did you know that christians, jews and muslims all beleive in the same GOD? yes it's true. They certainly all act different don't they. I think the 10 commandments are great, and the golden rule. do unto others as you would have them to unto you. Live a good life and don't deliberately hurt anyone, and be kind and thoughful and be happy, and GOd will love you and you will be welcome in heaven when your time comes. I think God and Jesus look down on this earth and see some of the preachers and preists who claim to be holy, and they just laugh. I'll bet they can't wait for them to die so they can send them to hell.
I don't know how old you are, and you may have to put up with this stuff if you are a minor child and your parents are responsble for you. But soon you will be old enough to take care of yourself, and you have the right idea. Just be a good person, and you'll be fine.
Michele
|
Hey.. i got this thing with my parents, my moms ok.. i guess were all not so close.. but we still talk you know. well see my parents useally just argue.. alot.. but its becoming more violent. my dad hit me once before.. then slammed me into the tv shelf thingy. and sometimes into the walls. everytime i tell them to stop up my dad would tell.. you keep your mouth shut or i`ll shut it for you.. i dunno whats gunna happen after like.. 1 day thats over.. then they argue over somehting else thats really stupid. my problem is.. i have a hard time telling my friends. I got this one friend.. cause she knows how it feels and all.. and im bi i have a girl friend.. (ima girl to) and i have a hard time talking to her bout it.. whats a good way to open up.. sorry this is long...
i`ll rate.. please help.
thanks everyone! (link)
|
I know it hurts. It should hurt, and your father is a creep. He is a miserable human being and he is taking it out on his family. I feel very bad for you. Your mom too. She is probably too weak to leave him. It is not ok, it is never ok for him to hit you or slam you against walls and stuff. Nor is it ok for him to his your mom. My family had a lot of secrets too when I was your age. And I also didn't think it was ok to talk about it. Because we were raised to believe that what goes on in the house stays in the house. Well that was a mistake. I felt different from everyone else in school. And I did not know how to talk about the abuse. But today it is much more acceptable. You won't be judged for it. you did not do anything. It will help to talk about it really. I did finally get some help but not until I was in my thirties. That;s when I found out that my parents were crazy not me. Don't wait that long to find out that it is not you. Nothing you could do would make someone that angry. He (your father) is angry at the world. It doesn't matter what you or your mother does. I wish she would find the strength to get out of that relationship. But now, you want to know how to open up to your friend. You could start by bringing up the subjectof parents, and then ask, Does your dad (or mom) ever get real mad at you? So mad it scares you? And then see what she says. No matter what her answer, she will certainly ask you the same question. Then start small and work your way up to the truth. She may have a way to help you. SHe may know someone who can help you. If nothing else it does help to have a friend that sympathises with you. So you'll grow up knowing that you are not crazy. One day you will be an adult and you can leave. And please do so as soon as you can. And I am not surprised that you like girls, since your first impression of men is from your father.
This much I know....girls are supposed to be treated like a princess by their father. But you did not get that, and I didn't either. It is not right, but it is reality. Don't let it affect your whole life. And don't become like him. You have to learn to handle dissapoint ment and not take it out on your family. He's a jerk. Unfortunately the are to many like him.
I hope this helps.
Michele
|
What should I do if I get bullied a lot by kids at school? I go to a catholic school, too and its still happening. Junior High can definitly be tough. I get picked on by 7th graders and kids my age. What should I do? My parents and I have tried and tried but nothing has worked! I've gotten nasty emails and instant messengers, and rude and harassing phone calls. can you help me?
Deceivingxheart (link)
|
I don't know what state you live in,but bullying is against the law in connecticut. You say your parents have helped, but have they gone to the school. Even if they have, sometimes that makes it worse on you when kids get in trouble. Is there a possibility that you can change schools, be tutored, home schooled. I know parents who have done this as a last resort. I know it is awful. And bullying needs to be taken seriously. It is a serious problem. I feel really bad for you. I can tell you this, it will not be like this when you are a grown up. MOST grown ups don't act that way. Though not all will like you, most of them keep their opinions to themselves.
Is there a way you can get a real cool adult, that all the kids look up to, to go to bat for you. Sort of protect you. Is there a sports team in your town with famous players. A famous athlete? they would be most likely to help. Send the sports team an email, tell them exactly what you wrote here, you never know , they just may help.
Michele
|
|
ok well my boy friend wants to do something today but i dont... what should i do PLEASE HELP (link)
|
Some boys don't take no for an answer. I am sure that you have already told him know a thousand times. Make an excuse not to see him today. Say your mom's sick, or your dog's sick, or you have to to shopping with your mom, or something. But don't give in. If he doesn't take no for an answer, he is thinking only of himself. If he cares about you he will undertand. Best to find out know what he is really like. Some boys grow up into men and still won't take no for an answer, only now they also become violent.
Be CAREFUL!!!!!
Michele
|
okay- so heres what I see.
I see all of thse girls, and some guys, asking about Sex. will I get pregnate this way, what about this.
and i always answer saying, you should wait, what if you get pregnate, and a whole bunch of stuff to think about like money parents will he leave you- just to name a few.
then the rest of the questions i see are either:
i think i am pregnat, we used a condom and it broke, i dont want to tell my parents, what should i do.
or
i got pregnat and my boyriend left me.
its so horrible!!
I dont believe in Sex before marrage or abortion!!
anyone follow me and agree with me on this??
anything else- leave on in my inbox!!
-Kels- (link)
|
Sounds like excellent advice. Pass it around. Hold your ground. time will pass and you will see that your beliefs were the best.
Michele
|
|
no way..you see..i would come like 3 hours later just for a little while to see whats happening. you still feel that way..that i would get arrested? i think if they were to get caught..they would be busted within the first hour. (link)
|
NO I don't think so. unless there is a busy body living next door. MOst peoeple go about their lives and don't pay much attention to the neighbors or their houses. But once the neighbors settle down for the evening and start watching TV. they will begin to notice the noise coming from the house. They WILL look out the window. They will see some lights, or some cars. Look when a bunch of kids get together to party, they don't know how to be quiet. There is always a loud mouth in the bunch. Someone who goes to far. The neighbors know that the house is supposed to be empty. And why would any adults be there in the evening. If you go and you go early, you better hope the cops come early, then there will be less damage to pay for.
First hour or third hour or last hour doesn't matter.
Here is another scenario.
Let's say the cops don't bust the party. Well when the owner shows up, or the real estate agent who is trying to sell the house shows up and sees all the damage....they will call the police. You think the police in town don't know which kids are capable of this. they will question all of you until the find someone who will spill the beans. (sorry to be so corny) then he/she will tell on every kid there The cops won't stop until they have everyone's name.
I don't see this going down any other way. Good luck.
Michele
|
|
A little while ago I made myself throw up cause I didnt like the way I looked.I promised my friends I would stop so I am,but my so called best friend wrote on her xanga that im bellimic and that everyone says I was just doing it for attention and for those who dont know wat an xanga is its like a website u can write things on and EVERY1 reads it cause alotta my friends have them and I didnt want any1 to know.Now I know that was wrong of her to post that on her xanga but I got really mad at her and I wont talk to her and we were just fighting last nite and we were cursing eachother off and I called her a backstabber.Do you think it was right for me to get mad at her? Do you think I should just let it go and apologize? I kno this gurl wont apologize to me cause thats how she is,but i dont know wat to do cuz I dont really wanna lose her as a friend but shes just really gotten on my nerves lately and she hasnt been a good friend to me.Thanks for reading this! (link)
|
Well ifyou knew of a friend that was going to kill herself and was serious about it. wouldn't you tell someone....even if she would be mad at you.
Instead of throwing up, try getting more exercise to burn calories and be careful what you eat. This is a no brainer. You know junk food is just that junk food. ALL HUMANS have to control what they eat or they get fat. End of story.
Do you know that lady that died this week. She was all over the TV Terri Shiavo. Well that is how she ended up in as a vegetable. She was also bulemic. She threw up. She messed up her potasium levels and had a heart attack in her thirties. She lived for 14 years like a vegetable. Maybe your friend doesn't want to see that happen toyou. but of course if she is just gossipping about you, and is not really concerned about your health, then yes you have a right to be mad
Michele
|
ok my friend called me up and told me theres this party like right up the road from me!! it starts at like 8..but im not going to ask my mom if i can go..cuz how would i word it? if you have a good idea on how to word it ..thats an automatic 5 for you guys. I was thinkin..if not to just sneak out later on. (my dad works the night shift and my mom is usually asleep by 10:30)
What would you guys do? I've never really been to a wild party..usually i jus go to small parties or sweet 16's ..that stuff. My parents would want to know if someone is home..and who knows if they would actually want to talk to the parents being that the party is right up the road from me. (link)
|
DId you say they are breaking into this house to have this party?
OK, if you want to get arrested. If you want them to call you dad out of work to come and get ou at the police station, and if you want them to have to pay about $500.00 to get you out of jail tonight, and if you want to have to go to court and stand before a judge with your parents while he asks you :what were you thinking? then fines you (and your parents) an additional $1,000.00 and you will also have to help pay for the damage to the house, which could be in the thousands. AND if you want to be grounded for this whole summer. Go ahead.....sneak out and go to the party. (Hope your family is rich)
Michele
|
|
My(used to be)best friend meghan who now I don't like anymore is flirting with my other friend Alex (who I used to go out with but now he's a really big crush)and she knows I like him alot and if I talked to her about it she would just take it he wrong way like she did last time I tried and I don't know how to get her to stop cuz it really upsets me and I think she knows why I'm mad at her but she just i/ms me asking why I'm mad and pretends like she doesn't know and I think her and my friend Julie were talking about it and meghan asked her to ask me what was wrong and that made me mad too! And I don't wanna be meghan's friend for so many reasons but I just can't deal with her flirting with Alex then denying she likes him and saying she likes this other kid. What should I do? (link)
|
OK, this sounds corny but it works. She is trying to get you mad, and when you get mad, she wins. She flirts with Alex knowing thatyou like him and knowing that it gets you mad, then right away, she IM's you to see "why are you mad"
she already knows the answer.
First she sticks the knife in, then she turns it when she IM's you to why you are mad. She is taunting you.
SOLUTION....
IGNORE HER. it will drive her crazy.
Smile, look happy when she flirts with ALEX, it will drive her nuts. She will soon loose interest in doing that to you and find someone else to do it to. I know, I tried this and it works.
Don't give her control over your emotions by getting mad. Keep control of your life with you. Never let anyone get you mad or angry. Then they win.
Michele
|
|