I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 134134
Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All
|
| |
|
my mum is an alcohol addict,she comes drank and take it all on us especialy the housemaid.insultn her,shouting etc.today i felt bad after the action and i told her what i felt.and i shouted at her she is pissed bigtime.pls help.what do i do (link)
|
You should get your father and siblings if there are any and people who love her together and confront the problem and let this be the final straw. She has to recover before hurting herself and the family further.
Al-Anon if you guys call them will have resources for you and advice on how to deal with her rage and out of control drinking. Don't do this without adult help or confront her alone. If she comes in a rage to you later back off and leave the house for awhile indicating "we're not doing this again." and hopefully when she sobers up it will make her see.
|
|
i have a bf,i like him especialy before..he cheated on me once we broke up and came back together.we went on and mean whle i was developin a crush on a guy i study with.it came stronger as i realised he likes me too.lately my bf has not been like bfore,doesn text me often,we dont talk much and the othr guy txts me al the time we talk.and yesterday we kissed and had a wild rmance and he wantd to have sex but i refused.i feel bad that i cheated but i couldnt control it.what do i do?i told the guy to stay away frm me but he cant.pls advice (link)
|
I believe strongly that you cannot control who you love or are attracted to and shouldn't be with someone you aren't as it's not fair to either person.
However, all of us have the ability no matter the situation not to engage in something that isn't right or hurt someone by doing so. You were smart to know to refuse sex but made a mistake with the kissing, texts and other things you mentioned and now are legitimately confused on what you want and need and whether they are one and the same or not.
If you are committed to someone who never talks to you anymore, texts or does any of the things you used to than you have to tell that person as much as you love them that the relationship just doesn't work and move on. Illustrate that you found someone who you are a better fit with and stop short of cheating but want to be with him from here forward.
The other thing you need to do is cool down a bit here. See if this new guy is genuine, explain your BF situation and that you want to leave and aren't in to cheating. Make sure he isn't cheating on someone or is that type before you leap. As far as I see your kissing, texts etc were inappropriate but you're rectifying things and were a smart girl to back of of sex and hurt someone regardless if they did that themselves in the past.
I KNOW you aren't shallow but some people can be and are sometimes to be doing something like this subconciously or intentionally to get back at a partner who cheated. As long as that isn't your situation and movtives to be with someone 100% than go for what and whom makes you totally happy and your heart and gut (trust them) says is right and let nobody else make that choice but you.
Let me know what happens after taking a few days to chew on this as I see nothing wrong with dumping a partner if you chose to and taking a new one one if your current partner doesn't acknowledge you. People fall out of love and that seems what is transpiring. Why be miserable in any way?
|
Hi everyone. I started junior high awhile ago and I just... I don't like my body! This guy (He has gone to school with me since 2nd grade; I was skinny, then fat, then now i'm a little heavy) always says immature things like "Miss Piggy" and all this crap. I'm getting tired of it!
Anyways, I just dislike my body. Not because people call me heavy, but i'm just not happy.
The whole "diet" thing doesn't work well with me. But I don't eat like a chocolate bar everyday or anything. I actually probably eat one every month. I know I should be on a diet, but I just think excersizing would be easier(believe it or not).
So i've been doing about 40 or 50 sit ups everyday but I don't think it's enough! I think I should do something else but I don't know what to do. Please don't say for me to do less or anything. I just... I need an excersize plan!
Thank you so very much and take care. Sorry if this was long! (link)
|
What you need is a complete physical with a doctor. They will take your height and weight down. Then they will tell you if you need to lose anything or not and map out a nutrition or diet plan with you that if followed will work. Weight is based on height and nothing else. Age never factors.
The thing is you may have a distorted self-image based on the bullying and may not need to diet at all but see what the doctor says to you first. Dieting and exercising without a doctors advise can actually hurt you. The sit-ups may be too much exercise.
Exercise needs to be staggered and you have to do weights, cardio in tandem and other exercise to lose and mantain your weight. I don't want to see you starve yourself over this either.
Boys are pretty stupid (I've been one) at your age with liking girls and hurling remarks like Miss Piggy in your case to get attention--any from you regardless of how.
If I were you I would wait until a bunch of classmates were present in class and if he said it again I would say and use these words "Listen A-hole. I've had enough of your crap about being "Miss Piggy" and fat. I know I have a problem and don't need to be constantly reminded of it or feeling awful because of you or anyone else so keep it shut-up and out of my face. I have hard enough problems with body image as it is"
That will do it and either provoke an apology or get him to leave you alone completely. Let your teachers know you need to confront this before you do so because they may want to teach the class a thing or two about body image.
The other thing you should do immediately is to accept your body and yourself as being okay and that yes you can change some things but you aren't an awful person for it. If you can develop a thick skin and let remarks roll off of you like water on a duck idiotic remarks from someone who should frankly know better won't have an effect.
|
|
I am a twelve year old girl from nz. One of my friends is super sensitive. Every time she asks me to sit next to her and I say no coz I want to sit next to someone else, (or something like that) she gets really pissed off and won't talk to me for the rest of the day. She always exaggerates everything and gets annoyed at me for the slightest thing. What can I do she's so annoying! (link)
|
She probably cannot see there is a problem and has been oblivious to this all her life. I think what you need to do is sit her down and best do it with a teacher or a counselor at school present.
Point out that as her friend you know that some of your classmates as well as yourself know something that is killing her social game and will continue to if not worked on. Tell her you want to help her along with the teacher/counselor work on it.
Explain that she comes across as clingy, needy and ultra-sensitive if told people need a little space now and then and that her getting pissed off in front of them put them right off of her. Mention the exaggerating and becoming annoyed at people at the drop of the hat makes people back away from her.
It could be possible it's a learning related problem or a medical one (bipolar minus delusions) or that her social skills are non-existant. By offering to help and talking about it in front of a mediator she will see it as less of an attack and something you're doing to help her before she pisses more people of with it. Sticky situation but best dealt like this.
|
My twin sister and I are very good friends with this boy Sam.
I am actually very close with him, and introduced them. I thought they liked each other more than friends, and she was very happy.
Prom is coming up. She thought maybe he would ask her. I told her he DENFITELY would. i thought they had hit it off...
anyway, I got her hopes high.
and yesterday I talked to him, he totatllyyy doesn't see her like that, and said he FOR SURE is not asking her.
He didn't mean this meanly, i don't want him to come off like adick. but my twin is counting on him to ask her...and he isn't going to.
How do i tell her this??
(link)
|
It isn't going to be easy but it's better she know than to be crushed later when she has NO date not just him that asked her or she could have considered.
Tell her straight-up that you don't want her to get hurt and that he didn't either. Let her know he had no idea how to tell her without hurting her and never wanted that. Let her know that he values her as a friend but the attraction you both thought he had for her just isn't there and that he's told you that he won't be asking her for prom.
He should say this but is let's put it this way a bit of a coward putting it on you. Your twin trusts you so you can help her the most and try to salvage the prom with someone else perhaps a friend she can just have fun with. It may not be the same but at least all won't be ruined where it could have if she held out for him and nobody told her the truth.
If it were me and I was her and you had such information I would want you to tell me no matter what and would be downright pissed if you didn't and I missed prom when I may have been able to snag someone else. More or less if you don't tell her you'll be in a lot of shit lasting for a long time. You simply have to.
|
I live in New Jersey in case that means anything. My mother and I just saw this bug that we've never seen before and I have yet to find anything about it online. It got away before we could get a really good look at it but we did see some things.
It was tan or light brown.
It appeared to have a bunch of legs. (Reminded me of a thousand legger)
It had a scorpien like tail (swooped up in the air)
It moved pretty fast.
I when I google for the bug I keep finding results with bugs with wings or big scorpien pinchers and that doesn't match what we saw. Can anyone help? (link)
|
The only thing that came to mind was an Earwig. They have a tail that can curve upwards and look like pinchers. They are always brown and do indeed have a bunch of legs--maybe not a thousand. They do move fast.
Check out Wikipedia link to see if this was what you meant, If It's not I know that Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto have a department that studies insects. If you can find out online or by calling who to e-mail or talk to they can tell you with certainty what insect it is and send fact sheets. I used to do that for projects. Google them.
|
18/F
Ever since I was about 5-7 years old I've had this line of dry, bumpy skin on my leg that has never gone away. I have no idea what it is and I've just grown to ignore it.
It's of flaky and never itchy, does anyone have any idea with wha it could be? Lotion doesn't help it. (link)
|
We aren't doctors so please don't think our advice is the gospel or a replacement for medical diagnosis. I KNOW you probably don't but there are others reading this so I'm putting that disclaimer out first.
The thing is you have had the issue since you were 5-7-years-old. You can pretty much rule out it being some dread disease or something that's going to kill you any time soon.
You've seen countless doctors in that time who have likely seen every last inch of your body in medical exams. If they've never said anything it's likely nothing of that level of concern.
Also, your mother may know more than you do about what it is and why its there. Ask her about it and tell her you have been worried over it for some time and would like an answer from a doctor when you next see one. I think all that's needed is an okay from them.
|
im 12 as well and a guy asked me out to a dance i dont know what to do or say to him ( i said yes to him )
but i really like him (link)
| |
Well, you are off to a far better start than you think. He asked you to the dance and you agreed so right there that's a date. It also shows he likes you too or he wouldn't have done so. All that is left is to breathe and relax, have fun. And when it feels right tell him you hope this is the first of many such dates. That'll do it for you classy. And relax, he's got his heart in his throat on this as much as you do. It's okay, you'll do fine.
|
|
I sleep at least 10 hours every time I sleep. Sometimes my days are longer, I stay awake more than 24 hours some days to get my sleeping schedule back to regular hours because I get off course a lot. Will this kill me? I went to bed last night at seven o'clock pm... woke up at like 2 o'clock pm. I feel really bad. My muscles ache and I can barely understand or remember anything after waking up. (link)
|
During this period have you felt feelings of deep depression, hopelessness and then periods of elation? How about grandiose ideas, visions of that which isn't there, rapid thoughts that don't turn off?
Inability to sleep for days or to be wide awake for 24 hours or more or no concept of what day it is happens when someone is in or headed for an episode of mania and bipolar disorder. While it won't kill you a person has to crash and be back to normal.
You should go to an ER immediately and tell them that you're wide awake for more than 24 hours, can't sleep, can't function like normal people do as this is a big deal and have them medically help you with this.
If you can't think, focus or know what happened from one moment to the next you're in dire trouble. I say that as this is what happened during my first bout with mania. Best to get this checked out pronto before it becomes a crisis. It's the only way to return to normal.
|
|
So, I am a HUGE fan of Lady Gaga. I love to listen to her. The other day, my mom pulled me aside and told me she might ban me from listening to her because I am "obsessing" over her. I have tried to convince her she is good, but she says that she is evil and a horrible person. I respect Lady Gaga so much, and it hurts me to hear what she says about her. I am 14 and really want some help. I just want my mom to accept that I really like Lady Gaga. (link)
|
Why not ask her where her belief of the singer being evil comes from? It may have to do with Born This Way and prejudice towards gay, lesbian, bisexual people.
That's a reason she may dislike her. Lady Gaga is all about acceptance, advocacy for those who don't have a voice and inclusion. If that makes her an evil person I would hate to see her idea of someone that isn't.
Bottom line she can't make you dislike anyone or stop listening to music you like just as much as her parents may have done with her.
|
(I don't know if this is the right category!)
Anyway, onto the question!
I have terrible receding gums in my bottom 2 front teeth, I go to the dentist every 6 months but I'm on the NHS so I don't feel like they'd go out of their way for me. I've been terrified of loosing these teeth for the past year and bought an electric toothbrush and started flossing and using mouthwash but it hasn't really helped (though the rest of my teeth have improved loads the gums on those 2 is too damn stubborn!)
Anyway, I've been reading around and discovered "oil pulling" where you swish sunflower (or something else) oil for 20-30 minutes and it supposedly gets rid of all the bacteria in the pockets and stimulates gums to grow back!?
(I am desperate! My dentist isn't a friendly man either, he just scares me and gets mad at me, I would rather be in my mums private practice but that costs money :/)
SO yeah, long story short: does oil pulling help gums regrow back? even just a little bit? (link)
|
Dentists and doctors are not out to scare the shit out of their patients. They're out to be blunt and tell you exactly what's up and what will be if you don't take measures against.
I have no idea if this oil remedy will help but I'm lead to believe once the gums recession happens you can't fix it. However, ask your mother if she's a dentist about that and your concerns.
Talk to your mother about this other dentist and money and that you would rather she see to your teeth herself. You may find it will work out. The other thing she could do is have you in one day and just look to see what work this other guy has and hasn't done and tell you what to do about whatever problems exist. If you are this wound up over things than you should talk to her. There's always a solution.
|
i just need your advice about a man that i have been with for about eight months now. he is a divorced man and he is about 15 years older than i, besides ha has a nine years son. i loved him a lot and i still do, but my parents didn't like him at all.
the problem is that he said that if i beak up with him he would hurt me and tell my father about every thing that happened between us.
please i really need your advice as soon as possible because i am really lost and cannot do anything right now.
(link)
|
This guy sounds like a real A-hole. Nobody that genuinely loves you would do this. You're right for wanting to leave and you should pronto. He's a lose cannon and especially if he's threatened you physically and emotionally.
You need to tell your father and mother that this guy has threatened bodily harm if you leave and to tell them hurtful information about you. Who will they believe (You not him) or if it were true you could admit to it and move on with your family. You have to. Also tell the police about the threat of violence and see what they can do about that with charges etc. You're in deep and need other people's help. Your parents will always help you.
|
|
I am a twelve year old girl from NZ. I keep getting bullied by this girl in my class, and her guy friend (NOT boyfriend)One of them is african, and one is mexican. They always call me really mean things, and sometimes shove me and other stuff like that. They walk the same way home as me so I have to suffer it for 20 mintues everyday.Telling a teacher won't help, as the bullies will do it anyway (already tried) and I can't tell any other adults because they just make the problem worse. Please help me! (link)
|
Make sure your parents know and that teachers and other educators have done nothing for you. If someone shoves or throws a punch or kicks you go to the police and file an assault charge. They won't screw with you after that. Right now your parents can file harassment charges for the bullying and being stalked on the way home. Also applies to unwanted calls, online stuff.
You need to be assertive and defend yourself. Try fighting back. Even if you don't win they'll know that you aren't afraid or an easy target. You must tell adults as believe me not all of them will make it worse. If they go to the police that will stop it.
|
I'm a sixteen year old girl and have been sexting a guy for seven months. I have known him since I was eleven and have had strong feelings for him almost as long.
We sext a couple of times each month and at the time I enjoy it. A lot. However, not long after I regret it because I know that he only sees me as the girl he sexts, and as nothing more or less. I know I'm the only one he's been sexting but I don't want to be used for this anymore, though I can't seem to stop myslef from doing it.
My friends are disappointed in me because of this as they know of the upset this boy has caused me in the past. I know I shouldn't continue to sext him but like I said, in the moment I like it. I'm not even sure why I like it, I assume it's because he's actually paying me some sort of attention.
If anyone could offer me any kind of advice about what I should do about this problem, that would be really great and I would be extremely appreciative. Thank you :) (link)
|
I'm not judging you but what you have been doing isn't a good idea to begin with. Those texts in the wrong hands... You have to be aware of that and take it in mind. Also those texts between minors or someone 18 and over could be viewed as wrong by law.
You should tell an adult what's been happening and that you realize it's not a good idea and regret it so that they know how to protect you if need be.
You need to text him one more time and keep it brief and say "This is making me uncomfortable and feels wrong. I do not wish to continue this behavior please respect that. I don't mind talking normally from time to time but this makes me feel icky."
We'll see based on that what his reaction is. If he likes you he will apologize and try to make you comfortable around him and respect how you feel. If you're being used by him once you send that final text and don't hear back you'll know he wasn't interested in you as a person.
It's okay if you liked it at first but you know that it's wrong, have discovered that and must move on. It's only different if you were both consenting adults but you are not. Realize the mistake and correct it. That's what you need to do. Also realize attention and flattery are only good when it's in an appropriate manner.
|
|
I think I'm getting a physical next week and I'm wondering if I can ask my doctor not to look in my mouth. I'm over 18, but my dad will probably want to go in to see the doctor with me. The problem is that I have scars in my mouth from a very stupid accident that I don't want my doctor or dad to know about. I've gotten care for it from my boyfriend's dad who is a doctor, so it's taken care of, but I'd be extremely ashamed for anybody to know about it. Can I call him and ask him not to look in my mouth? If so, will he ask any questions and how will I possibly answer them? (link)
|
You should NEVER hide anything from a doctor which could be detrimental to your health. At 18 you are legally an adult ad can see any doctor you want without parental knowledge or input. It's best to let them look.
They have seen everything no matter how embarrassing you think this is. Always be upfront about anything that will or can affect your health. Don't hide this. It would be a big mistake to do so. I don't know what kind of accident it was but it's in the past. Being honest about it is no big deal but hiding it most certainly is.
|
|
hi im like 13 years old and Im a guy im tired of masturbating the same old way is there any other way i can get turned on and masturbate (link)
|
I know this isn't the answer you were looking for but simply cannot and will not provide that kind of thing for obvious reasons minors being one of them.
The thing about this activity is to explore one's own body and figure out what it responds to. What one person likes will not satisfy another so even if someone listed ways it probably wouldn't help. All you can do is continue to explore and learn through that what you enjoy.
|
please help as soon as possible
so my friend found out tht he likes me yesterday and heis supposed to ask me out tommorrow i want to kiss him but neither of us have ever kissed anyone needhelp how do i tell him when do i kiss him and how by the eay i am a female (link)
|
He's just as nervous as you are and especially more so as guys do most of the initiating and asking. He probably doesn't know you are inexperienced at this and he may not be prepared.
Just talk to him and go for it if the timing is right. There's no other way. He will probably be relieved to know you're both in the same boat.
Also, both of you have nothing to compare this to so that's better on your nerves and for enjoyment.
|
|
When I recently asked my boyfriend of six months if he'd pray about something that had happened in our lives, he said that he didn't pray. I was floored! I asked him if he believed in God and after a hesitation he said that he wasn't too sure about that. How has this not been addressed? I certainly do not think that everyone has to believe the way that I do, but I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he may NOT believe at all. Everything else about our relationship is ideal ... but how do I deal with this? Is this my chance to share the love that my God has? (link)
|
If everything else is ideal leave this alone. No matter what you share with him you won't change his beliefs on religion at all. Not everyone has to believe what you do and his not believing shouldn't kill the relationship. If it did it means there's a lot wrong about it to start with.
This is NOT a big deal. All it means is that he's rejected teachings about GOD that he has been given and questions the whole concept. A lot of people do and have. Embrace who this guy is and lay off the religion thing.
Secondly, I hate to break it you but your God ain't the be all and end all God. Everyone believes differently and there are multiple faiths. If you start shoving your belief system on him or inadvertently down his throat you are going to really piss him off.
You can share God's love, qualities etc. in a multitude of ways by expressing them to everyone not just him and reflecting them and practicing what you were taught without placing a religious connection on them. You can tell him what you believe (once) and leave it to him to explore or not.
No big deal. No matter what it should not change your love for anyone. If it does there is a problem and it's not with him. Everybody has different beliefs and you'll find it with a lot of people you date that aren't believing what you do. You have to accept that person or find someone else that does. It's really such a miniscule problem in your relationship that you shouldn't blow up bigger.
|
|
My boyfriend broke up with me what can I do to get him back ?????? (link)
|
WAIT. Let things simmer down as emotions and anger are running high. If he wants you back let him come to you first. Unless you know why this happened or if you did something to apologize for wait for this to die down. Don't go rushing to him as that gives off the perception of neediness and nobody likes that quality.
You also have to ask yourself do you really want him back that badly? Unless one or both of you changes the behavior that made the other person bolt it will only repeat itself. Sooner or later you'll wind up talking this through but for right now it's critical to wait for him or wait in general because he's still pissed off for whatever reason with you.
|
|
Hello, 18 f, freshman in college. Like the title, I think I have anxiety. I wouldn't say like, a crazy case and it hits me everyday. I think I have a little, baby form of it. Sometimes, when I start to do something new, like a new class for university or anything, my heart beats fast and I almost get panicky. It could be the dumbest thing. Today, I have english class in the basement of the library and I'm not sure how to find the room that my class is being held in and every few minutes, my heart starts to be quicker when I think about what would happen if I can't find my class. My mom had depression when she was pregnant with my older brother but she's better now, I don't believe that she ever had anxiety. Again, like I said, I don't think I have it to the extent of having to carry around a paper bag or have to sit and put my head in between my knees, I just think I have a small form of it. Any ideas of what it could be? Maybe I'm completely off, any help is much appreciated. Thanks. (link)
|
First thing first people with anxiety disorders be it mild or severe aren't crazy nor have "crazy cases" It's an illness like anything else and does not mean the person is "nuts" if it's severe or not. I'm not sure you meant to imply that but it's how I read it.
Secondly, mental illness which anxiety disorders fall under aren't hereditary usually. The fact mom had postpartum depression doesn't mean you will or won't have anxiety or other issues. It doesn't work like that.
It sounds right now that you're dealing with a lot of stress in a new environment and panic and mild anxiety attacks. The thing is it could become more severe if you don't seek medical attention and treatment and medication to curb it. Right now it needs to be monitored as it really sets of a red flag here.
If you feel it's affecting your ability to function be it on a small level or a larger one you can visit any emergency room and tell them that you are having trouble with it daily and want help as it affects your ability to conduct a normal existence. A psychiatrist (and you don't have to be "crazy" to see one) will put you on proper treatment and medication so it fades away before becoming something much bigger left unseen to.
|
|