Miranda's Advice Column :)

Ask Miranda

OK I find this odd..a few weeks ago I said to my before I wanted some time to myself to get situated on a new job. This wasn't meant to be a break up, just suggested time and that she stay at his familys house. I am a single mom of 2 and the breadwinner. He took care the kids, and just refused to work.

Anyways a week later he suggested time to himself...so I ignored him and a few days later he contacted me on a oddity...and chatted through text. He watched my daughter also so I could go to a meeting.

to sum it up...Ihad another event and and he was watching my daughter I was trying to see if there was hope to fix our relationship..he siad it was fixable but had no plans to move back..

basically there is no sort of future, so I decided to be strong and I left.

He texted me saying I left a jewelry of mine there..then texted if I got home. The way I see it not to be mean..if you don't want anything to do with me WHY bother. I know he was being considerate asking if I got home..

The following morning he texted me several times and had a sibling text me as well...
basically finding out where I am...

my friend told me he's been trying to play the "cool" card..saying he doesn't want a relationship..

Yet it bothers him if he didn't hear from me...whats the deal?

He basically wasn't giving me any future promise with us in a relationship...even if he was worried about me WHY bother? He wouldn't know what's going on with me anyways if he didn't want to be bothered and "do nothing"

I havent responded back in 3 days he is still texting me, why? I thought he didnt want anything to do with me or whatever?

He obviously still cares about you. I believe that he still wants to be with you too. Why don't you ask him why he's still texting you? Try to figure out what he wants. Sometimes guys just don't listen..even if you tell them to go away. Just ask him and say you don't want to talk to him or have anything to do with him whatsoever. Tell him your feelings and what you want too so he can listen as well. Then ignore him for a couple months. He should go away after that.

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When is the best time to have unprotected sex?

and how often do condoms break?

and when u have sex can it make ur period come a little bit later than it normally would, even though you are NOT pregnant?

The best time to have unprotected sex is never.

Condoms break not that often. It depends how old it is and if you 2 are being rough with each other. But it breaking is very rare so there's nothing you can worry about. Just make sure the guy keeps it ON.

And the answer to your last question yes it can come later than it normally would. Many of my friends have their periods about a week later or two and then they become really stressed out if they think they're pregnant or not.

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Well I'm seventeen, my guy, 18 well. I met him when I was thirteen and he was fourteen, we became best friends and this last April he started dating. It seemed so perfect, we were so happy and I had never had such a perfect boyfriend. We had rough patches like every couple however, he drank and smoked and did some drugs. I didn't like it but I grew to be fine with it after a while. I took his virginity and my best friend was dating his best friend. Well, he had this friend called "M" who was moved to foster care in California two and a half years ago. (she was all of our friends but they were best friends) Well we planned a trip out to California to go see her. I thought about how romantic it would be to go on a road trip with my amazing guy to California and spend new years eve which is also our anniversary together. Well, when we got there we spent the night together then he got up and drove out to Lancaster to get her. I didn't see him til later that night. He wouldn't talk to me, he sat in his car high, I got really drunk and yelled at him. He forgave me and we made up. Then "M" foster mom called and said she was going to lose her license if we didn't bring her back. He left to her back and I waited all night for him. The next morning I went out to his car. And he told me this... "Grace, I love you, but I don't want to fuck up anymore, I don't want to hurt you. You know I'm not ready for a serious relationship and if I stay with you I'm just going to hurt you." It crushed me so much. After I cried for two hours and he cried too, he said we should try to be best friends like we used to, I've been trying since he dumped me a week ago, but it's hard, it was hard being on a road trip with a guy that promised he loved me then dumped me so easy. What to I say to him to make him realize that he's not thinking straight, how can I get him back. I wanna be his friend, but I'd rather keep being his girlfriend.

Oh that's a hard decision. He's giving you hints that he will hurt you if you stay with him. Which means he either likes another girl or he is going to hurt you no matter what because of the type of guy he is. I think you shouldn't be friends. Your in a tough situation right now. And being friends will only hurt you more because if he has another girlfriend your just going to get hurt and want to be that girl. Don't do this. Never remain best friends. He was drunk though so he probably didn't mean it. But this guy doesn't seem like he deserves you. He cares about you but he doesn't want you to get hurt at the same time. I'd say drop him and leave. But if you dont....then take a break from him. Those are the only ways out of this. The guy said the truth that he doesn't want a serious relationship. So he's not thinking seroiusly about you. It's sad but it's true. You need to move on to someone better. I hope you find someone who will take a serious relationship with you though.

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so theres this guy ive been talking to him for about 2 weeks now. and we chilled like everyday till either tuesday or wednesday. I didnt chill with him, and ever since that day it takes him foreverr to answer my texts, and he doesnt text me. He says i never ask him to chill anymore, but i asked him to chill yesturday and today. Today again took him forever to answer my texts, and than he said he was doing something so he'll hit me up later. In reality hes probably at his friend Mitch's house who lives on the road infront of my house. And he is with mitch almost everyday, usually with him before he's with me for an hour. And me and they guy had a thing going on. And i looked on his facebook and theres this girl who keeps saying these things like theyre dating, and he says em back and it says his relationship status is engaged to her. (im 15 and hes 16 so theyre not engaged). but than i asked my bestfriend conor if he ever fooled around with his ex gf (NOT the same girl that i was just talking about on facebook) and he said that they kiss all the time in the hallway, and his ex gf has a boyfriend. And in the beginning of us chilling he wanted sex. But i had my period so i couldnt, and wouldnt and dont really want to with him. I would but i dont trust him at all. and i want to understand him. And he is a little bit of a guy who thinks he is such hot shit. Can you just tell me what u guys think of the whole situation, and if u think im being played or anything? I know this is a lot of stuff and not a specific answer, but say what you think pleasee.

I don't think you and him should see each other so often because then he will play you. You should only see this guy like twice a week so he can take you more seriously. He might just be taking advantage of you since he made a problem about you guys not chilling. You guys aren't really going out right? So it wouldnt make sense to see each other so often. Unless he wants sex from you or he really likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you or something. This guy probably has a big ego. Don't make it any bigger than it already is. He more than likely seems like a jerk and it's called fooling around with other people when they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You don't want that. It's nothing serious you have with this guy. So I suggest backing off and only seeing him not so often. Once or twice a week is good enough for him. Hope this helped. :)

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what does it meen when you get a boner if your a boy?

It means your horny and hard for either sex or a girl you find attractive.

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I realized I like my best friend. But I'm not sure he knows and how he really feels about me. What should I do?

You should talk about relationships to him. But you can't give away the fact that you like him. Because you need to find out if he really likes you back. If he does, then tell him you like him too. If he doesn't then now you know you guys are just best friends. Don't ask him out. He has to ask you out himself. Pay attention to him and flirt with him. If he flirts back then he likes you. He may even get the hint that you like him too. You could try hanging out with him one on one and making a first move on him. By grabbing for his hand or something. But that's really risky. Make him fall for you though and who knows you could be dating him within the next week or so :) Good luck with this guy! You kind of have to do something daring though to find out if he's interested in you.

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My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.

So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.

He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.

He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.

Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.

The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.

Please and Thank you!

It seems like you really care about this man. I think he will come back whenever he feels like it. You never know. I know time does heal things but it also changes things. I understand how your feeling and sometimes I feel the same way about the guy I'm in love with and the whole girl situation. If you have hope that he will come back and not hold onto this man with all your heart maybe he will. Just have faith. He will come back maybe not now. But if he loves you there could be a possibility. Because a man that loves a woman would do anything for her. Don't hold on because that might cause you pain. You got to think about him not so often either. Just try to change your mindset. If he wants you, he'll want you. If he doesn't then he doesn't that's how guys are it's so simple and so direct you can't miss it. There's not much to say. Just be an attractive woman that you are and play hard to get. Don't be desperate. And I'm sure he will come around :) Remember true love waits...

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Okay, so I'm only 13 and in 8th grade, and well this guy.... well he has a gf and he is a freshman and he sends messages while he is dating this girl.... and IK cuz he did it with me and lied and said he broke up with her and I believed him! But anyways he let me get on his facebook and thought he was smart and deleted the inbox, but he didn't delete the sent mail..... and I looked at it and I thought I was special but I saw he had messaged all these girls while he was messaging me.... And he is STILL doing it and he DOES have a gf.... and I want to know if I should tell her, cuz IK I would want to know but I don't want to do it out of revenge or anything or hurt their relationship..... but I even copied the message he was sending a girl.... Gerry December 24, 2010 at 12:40am
i would kiss you on the bus

Gerry _ _ _ _ _ December 24, 2010 at 12:42am
well night sexy if you want i would kiss you on the bus if you didnt tell anyone and if you came up and sat by me. night sexy get on tomorrow.
and said that to another girl, but like I asked above this should I tell his gf? I don't think she will believe me.... but I hope she will. :/ Oh and he tries to get girls to send him pics he begs and begs...... and trust me he has gotten some.....

WOW. Yes you should tell her she needs to know the truth about him. She shouldn't be with that type of guy. He sounds like a player and a flirt and a cheater. It doesn't matter if it hurts their relationship it would be for the better for her not to be with him anymore. So just tell her and make sure your there for her because she will be really mad when she finds out. :/ It could hurt really badly. I know how it feels because I found out on my boyfriend's Facebook and it broke my heart terribly. :( Good luck and tell me how it goes.

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Soo I'm back from some R&R anyway.
I'm going out with a guy who's younger than I am by one year (I'm a sophmore& he's a freshman) recently I told my mom this cause I really like kwami, and she deserved to know. She knows what he looks like and started making funny of me for dating someone so dark he was "purple"; no she's not racist but I love my mom. And I'd really like it for them to get along. What should I do to make it work ??
Oh..and kwami (his name) wants it too wirk too.

Thanks!! (i'm 15/f he's 14/m)

Maybe you could invite him over for dinner and you guys could have a little discussion about it. It wouldn't hurt anything. Just try it and I bet your mom will feel more comfortable around him. Ask him about it when you see him next time. And tell him to be on his best behavior :)

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i'm in a long distance relationship i'm 21 he's 23, he changes his miind alot and i dont know what to do , i know best would be to not be with him, but i wanna be with him i think something is wrong with me , cause he is not nice all the time, actually he is very mean sometimes calls me horrrible names insulting me but then next day he is like saying he is gonna move to my city and started looking for appartments and all so i dont understand if he acts that way cause maybe wants me to end the relationship or he just doesnt care or knows what he wants, he says he wants to be with me however he always imply that he knows im cheating (which ive never done) and actually one time we broke up for like 2 days he hooked up with a girl next than 24 hrs later ...and told me about it like 2 months after that happened .. i dont know what to do anymore to be honest..because one day he tells me he loves me and that he doesnt mean it when he calls me horrible names, but then next day if i dont pick up one of his calls or take some minutes to reply to his texts he starts calling me names, i always reply very fast and he NEVER does , sometimes he even dissapears for a complete day ! like 2 days ago he got upset cause i didnt took his calls and i stayed over at my friend's but the truth is my phone battery died i explained and still he started calling me a slut..we were still discussing that on the 31st in the morning and from 4 pm on he didnt took my calls or reply to my texts until today january 1st at 2 pm.....and he didnt even reply he just asked "what did you do yesterday i know you hooked up " and i was like no i didnt etc why didnt you took my calls etc . he said he was asleep which i dont believe, then he confessed at night he was at this party, but im like he usually replies even when with friends and he doesnt when he's with girls obviously so my guess he was with girls ... instead of trying to prove me wrong he was just like whatever you're a slut anyway...and i was like please stop messaging me i dont wanna talk to you anymore or anything else to do with you, he started texting me really mean stuff like you're a total slut (when he's the one that has been sneaky about stuff) and i'd never be serious with you unless its about f***ng you, and i didnt reply to that , he started texting me messages like oh you want me to f*ck you right ? (i didnt reply) and he started sending lots of messages like this :S like how he wants me to treat me like a slut and stuff etc. ...my guess is he did this so i would get upset and stop replying cause after that i tried talking to him and he didnt took my calls so im guessing he was being mean to keep me a way for the day and go out without me bothering him or whatever that's about cause he is usually all over me asking where im at and today he hasnt even asked cause obviously he doesnt want me to ask him., my point is sometimes he does stuff like blaming me for hidding stuff (which ive never done) blamming me for having lots of guy friends (which i dont even have ) blamming me for liking other guys when the truth is he is the one who admited to hooked up with a girl he thought was really hot, ...like he has no reason to tell me this stuff and still he does it i have even thought maybe he does it cause he wants to feel less guilty for maybe doing this things by blamming me or assuming i do them too, but then he also tells me he's gonna move to my city and live with me :S !!! i dont know what to do im so desperate i know its stupid sometimes he is very sweet but he's being really mean all the time now , like i would understand if he doesnt want me but then why is he asking all the time where im at and asking if im into other guys when even he was seeing this other girl behind my back, i dont know what to do has anyone ever had an experience like this ? another thing he doesnt trust me cause of the distance, he lives in britain and i live in america but he would come visit etc

That really doesn't make sense what he's doing to you. But what I can say is he's probably cheating on you with some girls or doing something like flirting or talking to a girl. I'm just guessing don't take it personally though. Because his behavior is obviously bad. The truth is he just doesn't want to look like the bad guy he wants you to always look like the bad guy. Even though you are being 100% honest with him and you should be feeling more insecure about him but your not and that's totally mature how your acting towards him. In this situation there's nothing you can really do. You can try to compromise and say that it's not fair how your being treated when he's really doing all the bad stuff. You guys need to have a heart to heart talk that doesn't involve yelling and screaming and cussing and calling mean names. Just be open and talk about each other's feelings, and HOPEFULLY that should resolve your relationship. But you guys are in a long distant relationship and those are tough. So you can either choose to stay with him or leave him your choice.

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So my last relationship was crazy and I really liked this girl. She seemed to be completely truthful and honest. Her friends were not the best though and towards the end of my relationship it turned out that her friends led her to cheating on me with 3 different guys within one month. One of the guy's sisters was the one who finally told me the truth. So me and her had our long time dispute and I finally told her I regretted it all. I know you can say that it wasn't her fault, that her friends made her or talked her into it, but I'm pretty sure they didn't put a weapon up to her and forced her. She has a mind of her own and can decide herself. I thought she was different. Well after I told her I did not want to be friends anymore and that I no longer wanted to hear from me, she still texts me and tries calling me and keeps telling me how she misses me. I sang and recorded a song for her once and she says she has it as her ring tone. Sometimes i reply and ask her if its because she still has feelings for me but then thats when she goes on and tells me she doesnt feel anything for me and is glad she ripped my heart into pieces. Its so immature and confusing. I seriously dont want to deal with her anymore. I graduated and she was one year under. I havnt seen her since the day of the breakup, but im going back to the school with some friends soon just to see how my old teachers are doing and I know for sure that if she sees me shes going to try and talk to me. I seriously do not want to talk to her and have told her millions of times. How should i deal with the situation if she does come up to me or tries to say something to me?

What I think you need to do is be totally straightforward to this girl. Say it directly to her face or over the phone that you do not want to hear from her ever again and that you will never talk to her ever again. She needs to move on from you and you need to have a life of your own. Tell her she is just wasting her time trying to talk to you and she won't find anyone if she keeps this up with any guy she's dated. She needs to be in control of her life and stop being so needy. You on the other hand are in control of what you want and it's not her. But what I would suggest would be to tell her the truth what she's doing and what she should do about it. Because I don't think she's got the message. Good luck and I wish you the best.

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My ex boyfriend put on his facebook last night 'praying that you miss me'

That's obviously about me (who else would be missing him) I know he's not seeing/dating anyone else because I'm good friends with his friends and they told me he's not (I didn't ask them)

Btw he broke up with me 3 months ago. For the first 2 months I contacted him but the past month I haven't.

Haha that's funny because my ex boyfriend did the same thing but he wrote something else. That he wanted one more chance with her...And I had no idea what he was talking about so I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. But I don't have any feelings for my ex anymore. Don't worry about it. It could be you or it could be another girl. If you think it's you then think that way. But you really don't know. And he could lie about it and say its you even if its not. What I would do is try not to worry about it. Facebook is just a social site. And if he really wanted your attention he would have done it in person. But yea if he keeps it up you can ask one of his friends who he's talking about. Don't talk to your ex first because you don't want to be friends with an ex and if you want him back so badly he has to pursue you first. So good luck with that :)

5 ♥

I have been communicating with my boyfriend for a year before we got together and we just made it official on Christmas day. Now even though I feel like nothing has changed, I don't feel like he is really committed to "us" like I am. He is the same age but is like a big kid. And the only time he is mature about anything is in the bedroom. Sometimes I feel as though I'm rushing things or maybe he doesn't take the relationship seriously. I thought maybe I should just ignore him for a couple of days or act non-chalant on certain things to get his attention. Should I give it a try?

Um no definitely not. If you want him to notice that he's acting immature. Be mad at him. Show him your not going to put up with this act. He will consider your feelings and fix his mistakes. Don't ignore him. Just don't look to happy when your with him. He needs to know what's wrong in your guys relationship and what's right. I usually don't like to act mad to my boyfriend when he acts immature but sometimes I have to so he can see when I'm not happy of what he's done. A girl needs to get what she deserves. So try that. It should work.

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I'm 28 to 29. Should i be upset with my girlfriend for buying me one gift instead of a few gifts?

No way that's not right. I got my boyfriend one gift and it wasn't anything that special just a shirt. You should be glad she got you something should could have just got you just a card and nothing else. Plus she might not make a lot of money. But just be glad she got you something and who cares what it is as long as it's a nice gift and you love her nothing else should really matter.

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Other than being myself, are there any other tricks to get a guy to regain feelings or like me more? This is someone who I recently dated.

Yea you should play hard to get. That's pretty much the only way to get his feelings back up for you again. Look good, be confident, play hard to get. Make sure you aren't talking to him first. Look totally un-interested in what he does. Don't be all over him. Just smile and look like your having fun. Guys are attracted to girls who are happy with themselves and ones that love themselves. :)

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Is it ok for a guy to hit his girlfriend, even if she did something to piss him off really bad?

No absolutely not. That's not a good way to put your anger out on your girlfriend. That's physical abuse. If a girl gets hit she should leave him right away. It's also good for girls not to smack guys and that's not lady-like.

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18f. My boyfriend and I decided after four months, mutually that we should be friends. Hes the same age. Things had been going good, but then things would feel off and we would not see eachother for a while and then be happy when we were together again. I felt we needed more interesting things to do when we were together and he just seemed content. One day he seemed real frustrated at me and so I had brought up the idea of being friends for awhile, he said he agreed. His one guy friend said to me that he probably didn't want to break up and that he just agreed, which makes me wonder if he still has feelings. I don't have any close friends/family to talk to or hang out with and so all I can think about is him. I feel as if I lost the only person I had going for me, but I also feel it was kind of the right thing to do. I hope to find another guy, but every nice guy seems taken. I am a friendly, approachable person. What to do?

So pretty much you made him your whole world? I would just suggest getting social and going to parties and events or church activities or dances to get to know someone new or meet new friends. Don't always think he's going to be there for you. I wouldn't be friends with him. It just doesn't work out that good with ex's because you still have those feelings for them and trust me it's really awkward when you have a new boyfriend and your still friends with your ex. You just can't make an ex a good friend unless you feel comfortable with him as nothing more. But anyways, keep yourself a busy outgoing person and maybe you'll meet someone new. Try to be busy on saturday's and on the weekend so you don't always have to rely on your ex boyfriend. Hope you have fun :)

5 ♥

boyfriend and I broke up (he broke up with me) 6 months ago... I was devastated, I was madly in love with him. he still contacted me saying he still loved me and stuff like that. I asked whether he wanted to get back together and he didn't have an answer for me. I chose not to remain friends as it hurt a lot. 2 months ago I started seeing not dating another guy, my ex obviously found out and said to me "well you might start dating that guy, break up with him and then get back together with me, who knows" why is he saying that?

OH wow what a rude thing to say. He's obviously jealous that your with that other guy. But probably what he really wants is a reaction out of you to go back out with him or re think your options. Don't fall for it. It's immature and he's messing with your head. He does care about you but if he did and still LOVED you he wouldn't have broke up with you period.

5 ♥

So this guy always tells me im hot, beautiful, pretty and cute. But hes waiting for me to get off my period so we can have sex but I've only known him for about 9 days or so. me and him only were aware that we each exsisted but never talked and nine days ago we started talking and hanging out. but he is nice to my parents and very polite and hugs my mom hello and good bye. And than last night he was talking to my friend Whitney about drinking and smoking and how they should go do it. do you think he could be putting on an act for my parents and things and really just wanting to have sex and using me, or actually have interest in me? i know thats prob not enough info. so ill say a little more, he also doesnt mind kissing me or anything infront of my cousin brittney or my cousin brianna, and i think his friends know that we have a thing going on cuz i read his text the other day and it said "so your with nina right?" (yes my name is nina) so its not a complete secret. But if you can help me distinguish what he wants from me that would be great..

You guys have only known each other for 9 days and your considering that?! I'm sorry to say but you guys are moving way too fast. You need to slow down and do that stuff at least in a couple of months. Or else you guys will eventually be bored of each other and leave. Just tell him no I would like to slow down the pace with you. If he doesn't agree with you then end it. He needs to respect you. And you can't let him have sex with you or else he will take advantage of you whenever. You need to let each other have more time to get to know each other and spend some quality time. He's not really interested in you just because he wants sex and other stuff. No way! Maybe that's all he is really interested to be honest. So do what I said and don't move so fast. Slow down. It won't be that great if you are moving so fast.

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im taking the pill, but my new boyfriend wont cum in me

Um I think it's his choice whether he wants to or not. If he doesn't then thats how it is. Don't think it's a bad thing. I would actually be scared if he did that. I think you should be happy he doesn't even though your taking the pill. Just ask him why he won't and you'll find out HIS reasons why. Maybe he's even scared too. I really don't know.

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