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Getting rid of a horrible ex
So my last relationship was crazy and I really liked this girl. She seemed to be completely truthful and honest. Her friends were not the best though and towards the end of my relationship it turned out that her friends led her to cheating on me with 3 different guys within one month. One of the guy's sisters was the one who finally told me the truth. So me and her had our long time dispute and I finally told her I regretted it all. I know you can say that it wasn't her fault, that her friends made her or talked her into it, but I'm pretty sure they didn't put a weapon up to her and forced her. She has a mind of her own and can decide herself. I thought she was different. Well after I told her I did not want to be friends anymore and that I no longer wanted to hear from me, she still texts me and tries calling me and keeps telling me how she misses me. I sang and recorded a song for her once and she says she has it as her ring tone. Sometimes i reply and ask her if its because she still has feelings for me but then thats when she goes on and tells me she doesnt feel anything for me and is glad she ripped my heart into pieces. Its so immature and confusing. I seriously dont want to deal with her anymore. I graduated and she was one year under. I havnt seen her since the day of the breakup, but im going back to the school with some friends soon just to see how my old teachers are doing and I know for sure that if she sees me shes going to try and talk to me. I seriously do not want to talk to her and have told her millions of times. How should i deal with the situation if she does come up to me or tries to say something to me?
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Her friends can't "lead" her to anything. If she cheated on her, it was ultimately her decision and there aren't really any excuses. Stop replying to her texts, as that sends the entirely wrong message. If you see her at school, just tell her (plain and firm, not nasty) that you don't want to see her and if she persists, don't take the bait. The only way you'll get her to leave you alone is by not letting her manipulate you or show that you care.
-Pax
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Dear you,
Hello i would love to have some one who cared i think you should be friends with her have your limits .. And find a new girl who would really care for you
hugs & rockets
moniitah
xoxo
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What I think you need to do is be totally straightforward to this girl. Say it directly to her face or over the phone that you do not want to hear from her ever again and that you will never talk to her ever again. She needs to move on from you and you need to have a life of your own. Tell her she is just wasting her time trying to talk to you and she won't find anyone if she keeps this up with any guy she's dated. She needs to be in control of her life and stop being so needy. You on the other hand are in control of what you want and it's not her. But what I would suggest would be to tell her the truth what she's doing and what she should do about it. Because I don't think she's got the message. Good luck and I wish you the best.
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Hi there,
I have to second the idea that if you want this to stop, you can't answer some of her contacts with things that could be construed as encouraging.
If you want what you say you want, then state once, clearly, that you wish absolutely no contact with her.
I don't know how the laws are where you live, but here, and in most of the USA, if you tell someone to leave you alone and they will not, you can have them jailed for harassment.
I noticed another user mentioned she was allowed to do the things listed... well, not here she wouldn't be. The third unwanted contact you can prove has occurred since you requested an end to contact can land her in jail.
At the very least, you might contact an attorney and ask about getting a restraining order against her.
I hope she isn't the boil your bunny type (watch "Fatal Attraction" if you haven't) but if she is, you MUST not do that thing you have been doing where you respond and asks if she cares about you. That is as cruel to her, as what she responds with is to you.
Please remember: You both got to this stage. Now you both need to get away from this stage.
If you keep responding to her, you aren't walking away. In fact you are encouraging her.
Walk away.
If she refuses to leave you alone, then take measures to protect yourself.
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Its totally okay to not want to talk to an ex. It's completely fair to cut them out of your life, and ignore there messages. (It would be better if you ignored all messages, instead of feeding the monster by replying sometimes. Replying sends mixed messages, no matter what you say.)
But you can't make an ex stop existing.
You are planning to go to her school, someplace she can't help but be at. If you want to go there, you are going to have to accept that she has a right to be present there.
You don't have to be friendly. You can tell her "Hi. I really don't want to talk to you." You can walk away. She might keep trying. She might use her friends to get at you. She might be all sorts of nasty, immature things, but unless she crossing a line to threatening or harassing you, then she's allowed to be there.
Just walk away. Tell her you don't want to talk to her, and walk away. She might give you a hard time (because you keep on talking to her, and because you came to a place where knew she was gonna be, she is going to interpret this as a chance to talk to you.)
If you really can't stand the confrontation, and telling her again to leave you alone, then you sort of need to stay away from her school. She can't help that she is there. You can choose to stay away.
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