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I'm Max.Want an honest answer to the burning questions that keep you up all night?
You've come to the right advice column.
advice
My boyfriend and I are really horny and want to have sex. We haven't yet because we're young and I don't want to be a teenage mom. We've talked about it a lot and he's so afraid of getting me pregnant so I totally understand.
I was thinking about still having sex with him but during my period so it's like impossible to get pregnant. He is all for it and is really excited about it. :)
The problem is that the blood will probably make a mess, I'm guessing. I figured we could do it in the shower though and then everything would work out fine and the blood can just wash down the drain. I think this might sound pretty sexy and we can make it fun with the water.
Is that safe to do though? And will there be like LOTS and LOTS of blood or just a little bit? I need to know what to expect here...
It's no safer or less safe than having sex out of the shower.
You can still get pregnant.
Being on your period does not make it impossible to get pregnant, and neither does having sex in the shower.
how do i get a gf and know she is the one?
You're geting ahead of yourself.
You don't even have a girlfriend yet and you're thinking about finding "the one"?
Relax.
Girls are repelled by desperate, clingy guys.
Girls like guys that are calm, cool, and collected. And confident! Confidence is like a drug to women.
Whatever happens happens. You can't analyze the relationship and ask yourself whether this girl is "the one" or not. She'll hate the tension between you.
Let things happen naturally.
Trust me, you will know when the girl you're with is the one you want to be with the rest of your life.
If you don't actively seek out girls like a lost puppy, they'll be magically drawn to you.
18/m my best friend is 17/f
Ok, so basically...I have a crush on my best friend. I don't know what to do. But there's more. She has a boyfriend that she really likes...I'm leaving for college soon...we've been over this before and she said no....AAHHHH!!!! I have no idea how to deal with this anymore. I've tried just playing nice and ignoring how I feel about her, but I can't control it. It really bothers me anytime she talks about him and how much I need to meet him and stuff. I don't know. Any advice is welcome, and if anyone has any questions, just ask me, I'm not too sure what else needs to be put. Thanks guys and gals
You're in the friend zone, with no way out.
Your first mistake was being her friend and "playing nice".
Guys always get trapped in the friend zone by being too nice to girls and telling them they like them, instead of showing them.
She has a boyfriend and she's not interested.
Accepting that is the easy part.
Now you have to change. Don't "play nice" anymore.
Girls dont like guys who are like little brothers.
Girls like guys who are confident and independent.
Flirt with girls after you meet them. You have to make the first move, and not wait around hoping something will happen.
lately all i feel i do is make mistakes im never happy.
i dont know who i am. ok that sounds werid but i always try to be someone else. im known to be the happy girl who people get on with, but its not me.
people think im dumb when i know im smart.
and im shy but im known as loud.
i dont know anymore, im not sure who i like cause i feel a pressure to like the RIGHT people.
and pick the RIGHT clothes.
if i change people will call me fake.
and when i am myself i feel fat, ugly and alone.
so do i try to be the person i am (upset, angery all the time)
or someone im not (happy and confident and hide my real thoughts?)
any advice will help
thankyou
Understand that nobody is themself.
Even the suave, confident-looking guy who follows his own rules and gets all the girls can be sad, empty, and self-loathing inside.
The most amazing, beautiful people can be the most uncertain of themselves. Models I've known are very self-conscious and have a lot of self-doubt because their achievements come from their looks rather than mental or physical abilities.
I'd rather people think I'm an idiot, funny, confident and capable than let them see my angry, impatient, people-hating self.
Do what YOU want. Wear the clothes YOU want to.
Hang out with who YOU want to. Fuck everyone else.
Personally, I'd rather have no friends than be friends with people who annoy me or who only like the facade I've built for myself.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you.
So my boyfriend and I go to the same college, and now its summer and we are now in two different states.
Our only interaction is texting, and although he is an excellent conversationalist when in person or even on the phone, he's an awful texter/chatter/letter writer, etc.
By awful I mean no more than a couple words response, rarely asks me questions unless I'm on his case about what a bad texter he is. I always feel like I'm interviewing him, and he gets annoyed with it. And plus we don't even learn anything new about each other, its just what we did that day and that's pretty much it (I've tried taking it on to a deeper lever numerous times, and he fights it). But he does text me first, but when he does there still is no real conversation.
I've made him get skype hoping it would help, but he's never on it. Talking on the phone is out of question because we're two busy people, and also because I can't stand talking on the phone.
What do I do? If you think he's cheating, I know he's not. He's not going through a rough time either, he's always been like that. I know for a fact he cares about me, when it comes to serious stuff he is willing to talk about it (but again, not as much as he would be in person).
I'm so frustrated. Its still two months that I will get to see him. A lot of times I end up in tears after talking to him because it feels like he doesn't care about me, I tell him something exciting that's happened, and I just get a "really" in response for example. I almost feel like it would be best to just stop texting all together until school starts again and when I'll see him pretty much everyday.
I don't know if its worth breaking up over, we're really compatible when in person, and we've been through a lot. Although I've told him that's its hard to keep a one-ended conversation going, he just says "am I really that bad?" and then he'll ask me a few questions, and then it stops just as soon as it began.
Please tell me what I should do, or if I'm just being dumb and overreacting (I mean he does always text me back afterall). The longer we do this, the more resentment there seems to be from both sides, and its ruining our relationship. I don't want to force him into talking to me.
It's not worth breaking up with him.
Your boyfriend understands that some things are easier to talk about in person. Emotionally loaded text messages are not a good idea. For the most part, you want to keep the subject light and not go into deep discussions every day.
Being confrontational about his lack of words over the phone won't help. He won't enjoy texting and will learn to associate it with being criticized.
Let him know exactly how you feel. Tell him how much it frustrates you and how much you miss talking to him. It might be hard for him to express his feelings through a text.
Texting is completely different from talking to him in person. You can joke around, talk a little bit about each other's days, but that's really it.
Save the deep discussions for when you're face-to-face.
I am going swimming tomorrow but I started my period today, a few days earlier than usual. I absolutely refuse to wear tampons for health reasons so please do not just give me that suggestion. No tampons for me, thank you!
My family has been planning this trip to the water park for weeks now and I can't just back out of it right before we go. I thought that maybe I could wear a pad in the pool and everything would be alright. I'm almost 15 and I thought I could maybe meet some boys at the water park this summer so I really want to go and have fun.
Then, I got to thinking, won't the sticky stuff on the bottom of it come loose in the pool water? The adhesive part. I really don't have any experience with this and I really do want to go swimming tomorrow and hang out with some people.
Does anybody know if a pad will come off in the water and float around. That would be embarrassing...
(Category: Menstrual Pad Etiquette...right? ;) Haha.)
Don't wear a pad to the pool! It will fall off, be extremely noticeable, and won't be effective at all. The pad will lose its adhesive and soak up the water in the pool instead of your blood. It won't work. Period.
Pads aren't made to be used in water. If you can't wear a tampon, you shouldn't go in the pool. You'll embarrass yourself walking around with a saggy, wet pad falling out of your bathing suit. Not a great way to meet boys.
When I first started my diet I was eating right and exercising. I lost 25 pounds. Now I'm getting tired of doing the same thing everyday and I dont know what else to do. I did cardio 2 times a day, I ran,etc. Sometimes I just dont do it anymore. I get a craving for chocolate chips and thats it. People in my house buy it and when I see it I want it, when I first started my diet I was eating on junk and only having 1200 calories,now I eat a little over 1200. And I only lost a pound last week and I was losing more than that before. I dont eat chocolate all day. I'll just get a bar of chocolate and a small bag of chips and eat one and the rest of the day the food is healthy, I wasnt doing this in the beginning. I already want something sweet everyday and I'm scared i'll gain the weight back after the diet. I cant go to the gym. I get tired of doing the same exercise and eating the same,what can I do?
When you feel the urge to eat something sweet, reach for a granola bar or a fruit. I've found eating sweet fruits like strawberries and peaches will satisfy your cravings. Granola bars can be healthy, but also tasty. Especially the chocolate-flavored ones.
You might have a vitamin deficiency because you crave sweets. If you don't already, take a multivitamin. After a while taking them, you should stop craving sweets.
As for being bored with your exercises, you can switch things up a bit. Try running for longer and longer distances instead of the same distance over and over again. Switch up your cardio exercises. Tennis is a great sport, enjoyable, and a good cardio workout. You can ride a bike, go for a jog, swim, even jump rope to get your cardio fix.
You don't have to eat exactly the same thing every day. I don't know what your diet consists of now, but it can't hurt to buy a healthy eating cookbook.
Well, I dated a boy, we lasted for a week and hes a complete flirt but I still like him, he said he still likes me and he does act like it. the only reason we broke up is because I went on a vacation for the rest of the summer and he didnt like not being able to see his girlfriend. So, now we only talk a little bit.. and he really does flirt with EVERY girl, so I dont wanna talk or message or IM him first because I dont wanna be annoying. What should I do to make him wanna talk to me... or what): I just really want advice! Im going crazy?
You can't make him want to talk to you.
He might be waiting for you to make the first move. Just IM him first.
me and my boyfriend have been fighting alot lately. we talked about a break, but then realized that we'd both be very, very uncomfortable with it. we want to do something, but we're not to sure how to fix it.
any ideas?
It depends what you're fighting about.
Sometimes you have to accept that you won't agree with your boyfriend on everything.
If you're fighting about something trivial, just accept that you both disagree and respect your partner's stance on the subject.
Couples have fights. It's a part of every relationship. This doesn't mean you should break up right away, especially if you're uncomfortable with that.
Talk to your boyfriend. He's probably feeling the same way.
Always been wondering this...I'm 17 an my boyfriend an I have been playing ^^'...he's never put himself inside of me only touched the top area of my private once but told him to stop after that...X-x (not uset to talking about this stuff) so sorry if I'm being a lil blunt with information...O_o... just was wondering if only letting him rub it lightly gets you pregnant =O
No. When sperm enters the vagina you can become pregnant.
Female/15
What kind of hugs can tell you that some likes you? Is it a usually tight or loose hug?
Nowadays kids hug so many different people so often the meaning is lost. You can't tell if someone does or doesn't like you by the way they hug you.
If someone refuses to hug you, that's a different story.
Well..A while back people were saying my bf was cheating on me with his friend named Jackie. He told me that she was very clingy..and she tried to hold on to him and everything. My boy friends not the type to cause any trouble..or to hurt anyones feelings, but one day she really got to him and he told her..raised his voice and said that "We can't do this, I have a girl friend and I don't like you in that way." She told him that she loved him..she than started to cry..he felt bad afterwords. Well all the rumors were saying other things..but my boyfriend says that your the best thing that ever happend to me..and there just trying there hardest to ruin it for me. >.< My boy friend doesnt have to best life..he lives with his gma, and she doesnt treat him right...we have to hide the fact that were dating from her..he fought a lot for me..he cares a lot for me..but should I still be worrying? I asked even jackie if anything went on and she said no..she has a bf. >.< So Should I just move on..I'm the type who worrys ..all the time..so? what do you think..
Worrying won't solve anything, even if he were cheating. If he says nothing is going on with him and this other girl, you have to take his word for it until you have solid evidence that proves otherwise. Rumors aren't anything you should listen to.
Wednesday I have an appointment to get a physical at the doctor's for high school.
The problem is I smoked weed on July 4th for the first time and last. And am planning on drinking tonight. So, uhm, is it safe? Will they know something is up? My brother said I won't pass the drug test and I never had to take one in my past. So, help?
The THC in marijuana can stay in your system anywhere from 3 to 90 days. The average time it stays in your body is about 3 to 30 days.
The amount of time it takes the THC to leave your system depends on the speed of your metabolism and the amount you smoked.
Since it was your first time and you never smoke, the THC can only stay in your body up to 10 days.
THC can show up in hair samples for up to 3 years after you last ingest it.
You will pass a blood test, and maybe a urine test, but not a hair test.
Hope I helped.
OK so me and my ex have started to talk again and now we have a thing. i guess friends with benefits. we went out for 5 months two years again and iv had feelings for him ever since. we've talked about hooking up and stuff and we're gonna. but the other night we went to the movies and sat in the back. me and him were holding hands and flirting and teasing each other. he would slip his fingers down my pants and pull them out and so forth and i would tease him and i would slip my fingers down his pants and i undid his belt and the zipper and everything. the movies was about to end so i figured i wouldn't give him a hand job. so for the rest of the movie i was just rubbing his inner thigh and i could tell he was rock hard. (undid his jeans cause i heard its painful for guys to get a boner in jeans). i slowly move my hand towards his penis and was stroking it on the undersideee. i guess i just would like to know other ways of turning a guy on. what feels good. what helps you guys get hard and so forthhh. thanks:)
Sounds like you're doing just fine.
Hey everyone. im evan and im 15. i have melanoma skin cancer and my 17 year old brother makes fun of me all the time. he physically hurts me (punches me in the chest and in the junk) and calls me names like "mole" or "cancer boy." hes always trying to put me down or hurt me in some way. we've never gotten along but since my diagnosis its only gotten worse.
This is also kind of a seperate question but some of my friends treat me different like its some contagious disease that they can catch if they get to close to me. What can i do to get them to treat me like they used to?
And most importantly what can i do to get my brother to knock it off and treat me with respect? I tell my parents but they dont think mitch could be like that. they think hes perfect and im the problem.
Your brother has no right to treat you like that.
One possibility is that he is scared and worried about your health, and is taking his fear out on you. Or he could just be a jerk.
In either case, you need to find a way to prove to your parents he is hurting you. If there are cuts or bruises from his attacks, show your parents. They need to see some solid evidence so they can believe you and deal with your brother's behavior.
If someone sees your brother hurt you, have them back you up.
You can even hide a video camera and hope to catch him on tape, if nothing else works.
As for your friends, explain to them that skin cancer isn't contagious. It sounds like they don't know any better and are worried they might get cancer being around you. This is ridiculous, of course. They can't catch cancer from you.
Once they realize that, things should go back to the way they were.
i'm 16/f.
i've been with my current boyfriend for 7 months, and sometimes, i feel that he's too controlling. extremly controlling. and sometimes it get's out of hand. i've never really had a boyfriend, so i don't know if ALL relationships are like this, or if my boyfriend is just a jerk.he alllways ask what i'm doing. which, isnt bad, i can understand that, but he makes me tell him EVERYTHING i'm doing, and everywhere i go. he's constantly keeping tabs on me, and has even had some friends of his watch me at school to make sure i'm not flirting or talking to other guys. if i don't tell him when i leave the house to go somewhere, he gets mad, and starts a fight. if i don't tell him i'm leaving somewhere to go somewhere else, he gets mad, and if i don't tell him i'm home, he will. i can understand him wanting to know what i'm doing, so i'm safe, but i really do feel like it get's out of hand.i'm not allowed to talk to ANY guy. if i do, i have to tell him everything that was said between us. i have to tell him when and if a guy text me, and he starts asking a ton of questions when one does. i'm not allowed to text back, and if i do, it can only be about school, and i cant delete the text. i'm not even allowed to be around a guy, if one's around me, i have to move.he's always telling me what i can and cannot wear. i'm not allowed to wear shorts, or vnecks. if i ever do wear a vneck, or shorts, i have to be around him. it'll be 100 degrees out, and i can't wear shorts, he makes me wear jeans. i have to send him pictures of what i'm wearing, and if i wear something he doesnt like, he gets mad.he wont let me hang out with friends. i havent ever since we started dating, and i'm loosing touch with them. i don't really ever talk to anybody, and if i do, even if it's a girl, he ask what we talk about. if i text anybody else but him, he gets reeaallly mad.he's always talking bad about my friends, saying i shouldnt hang out with him, because their whores. i think that he get's jealous that i want something to do with somebody else besides him. he always talks about how their whores, but he's honestly done tons of worse things than them, their not even sexually active, or anything. so i really dont think he has any room to talk. if i EVER want to go out and do ANYTHING, he tells me no, and threatens to leave me if i go.if he ever gets mad at me, he calls be HORRIBLE names. and sometimes he does stuff that he knows i can get hurt by, like if we're in the car he'll slam on his brakes while i'm trying to get my seatbealt on. he tells me to look at him, and if i dont, he'll grab my face and make me. he even gets controlling about little things, he get's mad if he's not my background picture. things like that. he loves me, i can tell he really does, and he can be the biggest sweetheart sometimes, but i don't know if i'll be able to take any of this much longer. i can sometimes understand why he's like this, he's had his past 3 girlfriends cheat on him.i can go into alot more stuff, but i don't want to make this question too long. soo, are ALL relatoonships like this, or is this really unhealthy? maybe relationships just arent for me?
All relationships are not like what you described.
Not healthy ones.
There's something wrong with this guy. He's abusive, paranoid, and controlling. Healthy relationships are not like that. There is trust and freedom in healthy relationships.
When you are with someone, they should not take you away from your friends and family, or dictate what you can and can't do.
This guy is dangerous. You need to get as far away from him as you can. Everything you're describing matches the warning signs of an abusive relationship. If you'd like to read a full list of 23 warning signs of abusive relationships, you can go to this link:
http://www.drdaveanddee.com/ab.html
it includes a phone number you can call if you need any help.
i am 20 my ex bf is 21. we were together fr the pass twoyears. we broke up in febuary and tried to be friends. it didnt work. we stopped talking in march. we just started, i was the one who texted him two weeks ago. we had lunch and he asked how i was doing and life was going. he wanted me to change things about me to make my life better when we were together, like a better job, or move out, etc. i have found a much better job now, i wasnt even looking just came across it and got it. i went on trips and a basketball game from his faorite team. i am planning to move out because i am fiancially set. he thinks im doing this just to get back and him or make hime jealous. we decided to be friends yesterday, and he found out today i might move out and said he cant be my friend because he thinks i didnt make myself better when i was with him and now im growing up and maturing without him. he knows that its spiteful and he should be happy. but he cant be. does anyone see us ever being friends in the future? how an i prove to him iam not doing this to hurt him but make myself better and have him understand.
It's understandable that he thinks you're trying to get back at him.
Put yourself in his shoes for a second.
You can't make him understand you're not trying to make him jealous. If he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it.
Trying to be friends with an ex is not something I recommend. It's successful 2% of the time.
I don't think your friendship is working out right now, and I don't think it will later on, either. If he's not happy for you and he's holding onto negatives in the past, he's not worth it.
Every time I start talking to the guy I like (were the same age), and I tell him that I like him in the end, he always says that he only sees me as a "sister" type of thing... I always do everything I could do show him I care about him, I don't think Im that unattractive and he told me he thinks i'm pretty, and we have so much in common with each other... but why does he never like me back??? Im confused and hurt... he doesn't notice how much I care and always ends up going for the slutty girl... why?! He tells me he likes me as a sister but then he turn around and start flirting with me, singing and acting sexually suggestive. Why does he flirt with me if Im like a sister?
Last night i asked him what his feelings are for me. And he replied saying.."The feelings i have for you..is truly love..but maybe not the kind that you want..i love you as a little sister.I would get back at anyone who would hurt you. I care about what is going on around you and i think about you alot. I appreciate everything you do for me.I just don't have feelings for you like that though." So i said.. oh okay i completely understand"..and he was like "im sorry sweetheart and im like no don't be just please don't let this change anything between us."
How do you get a guy to not see you as a sister without acting slutty?
I think he's telling the truth.
Sometimes guys flirt and joke around with girls and not mean anything by it. He might not even be aware that he's "flirting" with you. Don't read too much into his actions.
You have to accept that he likes you only as a friend. Even if he liked you, he's not acting like he's ready to admit that anyway. You can't force him to show feelings for you that probably don't exist.
This doesn't mean you're not attractive or you're not good enough. Some people just don't click.
If he only sees you as a friend, so be it. You can't do anything about that.
What does it mean for a guy to say you are naive when it comes to relationships?
Naïve means inexperienced. He might be saying you have little dating knowledge and/or you have unrealistic ideas about relationships.
I'm a 21 year old guy and I live with my 19 year old girlfriend. She's furious with me right now because she caught me um, well... let's just say I would've lost the contest on a certain episode of Seinfeld. She considers that cheating, which blows my mind. I mean I love having sex with her, but that other, well, it kinda has it's own little niche in my life. How can I tell her it was nothing against her, and make it up to her?
You're not cheating on your girl. She sounds insecure that she's not satisfying you and that you have to relieve some tension without her.
Assure her that you love her and that she satisfies you, and explain to her that sometimes you just need to get the job done yourself. You can have the most amazing sex life ever and still need to relieve some pressure once in a while.