Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
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Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14116
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18 years old, female
im sorry this is really long but i would absolutely love it if you could help me im hopeless and heartbroken. i'll give a 5 to someone who answers cuz i appreciate you taking the time!
i have been totally head over heals for my best friend, BUT he has a girlfriend of a very very long time. (2 and a half years) we use to be so close, flirt ALL the time. we never kissed or did anything. i just can't get over him. i feel like when i dont talk to him a part of me is missing. i am never truly happy because i know he is with her, and loves her. i can't take it anymore. i go months without talking to him, and as much as i just want to text him saying, "i miss you.." i would be afraid of the possibilty he wouldn't say anything back. he is always with his girlfriend which is annoying. i feel like he left all his friends for his girlfriend. i even told him this, that things between us and our friendship will never be the same for as long as he goes out with her. he said things would change but they dont. last time i saw him, he said that he missed me, he missed our friendship, he wondered what happened to us and why we're not so close anymore. sometimes i just want to go off on him but it's a kind of thing where as much as i hate him, i LOVE him so much. i love when we spend time together, i love talking to him, heck i feel like i want to become sexual with him (i know sounds silly, but im still a virgin, not a slut) i just have the strongest feelings for him and all the other guys dont compare. i tried, but it's not the same. i feel like i could wait forever because he is the only one im happy with. when i write this, many will think he probably seems like a bad friend to me but he really makes me the happiest girl ever when i hear his voice, when i see him i get butterflies..
i just dont know what to do. im SO lost right now and feel so alone. i cry at night because i miss my best friend and i wish he could be mine. i wish on every 11:11. my family and friends absolutely love him and want me to go out with him, if only it weren't for his girlfriend. trust me i tried telling him how i feel, how i feel like he doesn't care anymore, how we've drifted since he went out with his girlfriend and he ALWAYS says he misses me and when i see him, a few days after he will text me. one night he even texted me and said, goodnight i love you i was like awww [: and i say it back but then a few days after we wont talk and he wont text me and im the kind of girl that if you dont text me first, i wont text your FIRST. i've always been like that, always will be and he knows that.
any suggestions. i dont want him out of my life, we've been friends for about 4 years now and i can't let all the good memories go, he is or WAS my best friend. (link)
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Hi,
I can sympathize with your situation. We've all been in the position where we like someone who is with someone else. He's been with her for a long time and obviously he loves her. Friendships tend to fall by the wayside when the friend gets romantically involved with someone.
If the two of you have been friends for so long, I think if the two of you were meant to be anything other than friends it would have happened by now.
I know that's hard to hear, but you have to be realistic right now. All you can do is wish him the best. You have to be happy for him. That's what friends do for each other. You can't be upset with his girlfriend because he chose to be with her.
You're going to have to find a way to get over him. I know this is hard. Why don't you take some time and just be away from him for a while. Before you go over your friends house, ask if she see's his girlfriends' car. If she does, find something else to do. You need to heal. Like you said, he loves her. I'm sorry. I hope I helped.
Keep me informed. I hope you eventually find someone who can return your love.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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26, male.
I've been with my girlfriend for five years. And lately, it just feels like we're killing each other slowly. And she has high hopes about us getting married. But I'm currently unemployed, and struggling just to get back out there. Throw in my low self-esteem, and other issues between us like religion, our families, and it's just so damn hard.
She almost walked out on me crying because she felt stupid for waiting for me. I managed to talk her down, and we're still together. But looking back, a part of me feels like she really would be better off without me.
I always look at my relationships as things to continue working on and trying to make work to the very end. Is it wrong that I keep trying to make this relationship work, or am I being selfish for not wanting to let her go? (link)
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Hi,
it seems to me that as much as you two want to be together, it might be best that you separate for a while until you can get yourself together. Being in a relationship is hard enough. You have a lot of obstacles in your way. Religion and family are serious issues to deal with by themselves. That coupled with being unemployed has to be tough on the both of you.
You can't make a relationship work if you can't come into complete. You feel bad because you don't feel like you're worthy of her because of your situation. You have to try and stay positive. Don't give up. The job market is hard right now. She's probably stressed out because she's getting impatient and wants things to work.
I really don't think you have time to focus on a relationship. You have to get yourself together. Once you do that you will be a happier person because you will feel good about yourself and will bring that back to the relationship.
If the two of you love each other, you will probably be able to endure the separation. You have to do this for you and her. If it's meant to be, it will be. I hope I helped you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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the inside of my labia is red and my clitoris is a little swollen, at first I thought it was a rash or infection but there is a lump right between my labia and clitoris. I am worried, wat should I do, should I wait till monday and go to a clinic or do something now???
What could it be??? (link)
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Hi,
I definitely think it is something that should be seen by a doctor. Try not to worry too much about it. There are so many things that it could be. Sometimes the inside of the labia can feel a little lumpy. You didn't say if it was painful. If it is, I would definitely call your doctor and tell him/her about it so that you can be told what to do next. It very well could be an infection. Are you sexually active? Do you remember hitting it? It's really hard to tell. You didn't say how long you've had this problem. I hope I helped narrow it down for you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Idk if this is the right subject but I use to peel my lip skin and now it changed color. It is the color of my gums. I want to know if it will change back to its original color. (link)
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Hi,
a lot of people have had this problem. I think once you start doing it, it becomes a habit hard to break. I'm sorry to say that most times the original color won't return if you've been doing it for a long period of time.
Lip stick or tinted lip gloss might help the appearance of your lips. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Usually im the type to go out & be with my friends, but lately im totally content being in bed with a bag of chocolate chips & my cell to text my boyfriend & my best friend... im kinda social @ school but i always spend lunch & breaks with my boyfriend... im kinda wondering where my friends are & when im around them it just isnt as fun as it used to be, this year i just started going to school away from all my old friends & its kinda hard for me to meet new people, wer cool during classes & assemblys but now we hav a 2 week vacation & i think im gna spend most of it at home alone with my family & that dosent bother me at all, im actually excited for it.
Which is so wierd for me! I feel like im changing as a person. I dont usually do long term relationships but me & my boyfriend have been dating for two months already (we've been really close for the past 2 years) & i know im not going to kiss him for another 6 months but just being near him & talking is so nice. I do have to be the breaks with him though.
My question is, is this a healthy way to live my life or should i be more concerned about being out with my friends? Ittle be 9 at night & theyll call me to come over & bake cookies but theyr so hyper & they scream a lot & as much as i love them im just in the mood for a low key night. Movies, popcorn, etc. & i feel like nobody i know except my boyfriend knows how to just chill.
Is that so wrong? (link)
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Hi,
I don't think it's wrong and I don't think anything is wrong with you. I just think you are growing up and changing as a person.
Things that used to make you happy in the past no longer make you happy. You choose to do other things. People change and develop at different paces in their lives. It's just part of figuring out who you are.
You seem like you are a thinker. That's a good thing. Your friends might start to think that you are a party pooper. That's okay too. Explain to them how you feel. They'll come around.
In the meantime, do what's best for you and what makes you happy. It'll all work out in the end.
I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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So I'm REALLY not a jealous person by nature. My boyfriend of almost a year and I have the same circle of friends and we're really open and basically very happy. And we're okay with each other's other-sex friends.
And yet, there's this one, who for some reason makes me insanely jealous.
See, one night we were talking about how it's okay to find other people attractive, so sort of jokingly we were mentioning people (like rock stars and all that) and he said her. And I was okay with it at first. Then, though, inexplicably whenever he brought her up I felt this weird sense of sadness and anger.
She's in one class with me and one with him, and apparently they talk sometimes, so he tells me about her occasionally. She has a boyfriend too, and my boyfriend's consistently telling me how much he loves me. Consciously, I know I've got no reason to worry.
Then one day at a store we were looking at pictures and he looked at one and was like, hey, that looks like her. I never realized I could feel so jealous about one little comment, but I did. He apologized, and so did I (I didn't mean to get upset, after all).
The thing is, now, every day I'm in that class I can't help but look at her. I feel so jealous just being around her, and every time she talks to me I have no clue what to say. I don't know, she's nice to me and all, but there's this weird thing deep in my subconscious that connotes her with sadness now.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. But what can I do? I don't like feeling jealous, and it's silly because consciously I'd probably really want to be friends. She likes a lot of the same music as I do, but something in me makes me want to keep my distance.
No rude answers please, this was hard to say to begin with. (link)
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Hi,
there is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Anytime a boyfriend says that another woman is attractive, it strikes a nerve in the best of us. I don't care how secure you are. I don't know if you can ever be friends with her. I know I couldn't. I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone my boyfriend found attractive and commented on in a store. You are human.
I would just be cordial to her when the two of you are around each other or in a group. Other than that I would let her have her friends and you have yours. You don't want to rock the boat. She could thing he is attractive to.
If it makes you too uncomfortable, I would just tell your boyfriend how you feel, if he cares about you, he will take that into consideration.
Sometimes you have to tell guys these things. They can't read our minds. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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my boyfriend (20) and i (18) will be together for 4 months on oct. 30. he wants to go to a halloween party, well just any party. i doubt we will dress up but i have never been to a party with him and i wont know anyone there. he thinks that i just dont like going to parties with him because i tell him no more then once now. i do want too but i dont want him thinking im too shy i guess. i have a hard time talking to ppl so at a party it will be harder and i dont want to be by his side 24-7. along with that ive been to some parties mainly just kickbacks, im not a big partier. the drinking isnt a problem because i dont mind saying no, its just meeting people and talking to them and keeping a conversation going. and i believe that partys i have been to are nothing like the ones he goes to because i only party with close friends. sorry i know this is long but i had to explain my situation well enough. so thank you for reading and the advice. (link)
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Hi,
i used to be the exact same way when I was younger. I still get that way occasionally, but the only way to get over it is to keep putting yourself out there.
It's hard meeting new people if you're shy. YOu probably get anxiety attacks where your hands sweat and you feel sick to your stomach. I had the same problems.
You just have to get used to talking to new people. This is one of those things where practice definitely makes perfect.
I would make up the same excuses not to go because I was insecure. It will get better.
The first time will be tough, but I promise. Start by saying it's a nice party or compliment the host. Say something to break the ice with people. People will eventually start talking to you. The more you talk to people the better you will get at it and you will feel more comfortable about doing it. Before you know it, you will be an old pro.
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I'm a 41 year old female and I've recently found out that my husband of 16 years is communicating with a women he was engaged to when we first met. I don't really care that he's spoken to her, I'm not an over jealous person, but I am rather hurt that he hasn't mentioned it to me. It gives me the feeling that there's a reason why he didn't say anything. And the longer it goes on and he doesn't mention it I'm starting to become terribly hurt by this because it feels like a type of betrayal.
Am I over reacting? I know people react differently but if I was in contact with an ex-boyfriend I would probably tell him about it right away.
Thanks (link)
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Hi,
I can empathise with your situation. It does kind of make you wonder why he wouldn't tell you about something like that especially as long as the two of you have been married. After all that time, there should be no secrets.
Believe me, you have to say something to him about this. If you don't, it's going to continue to haunt you and drive you crazy.
He shouldn't be talking to another woman, especially if he was engaged to her behind your back.
If he's not telling you, he must know he shouldn't be doing it.
Sometimes when you've been married for a long time, things become stale and one or the other partners want to spice things up.
I'm not saying he's doing anything. He's probably not, but I think it's best to nip this in the bud. Don't let this linger. If he's thinking of doing something, it's best to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you. Talk to him and ask him if everything is okay. Tell him how you feel.
I hope everyting works out between the two of you.
Good luck to you,
Ediemarie
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I have an appointment to at the OB/GYN to get on birth control this month. What exactly are they going to do? (link)
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Hi,
I know you are probably nervous, but there is really nothing to worry about. Everything is pretty standard. If it is a complete physical, you will get the standard vitals, which includes your blood pressure, heart beat, checking your glands etc.
Then they will do palpatations which is feeling certain areas of your body like your stomach, your breast, etc.
Then they will do a pelvic exam in which they will do a pap smear. They will gently open your vagina with a speculum and look inside. Then they will take a cotton swab and scrape the cervix to make sure the cells are okay.
Afterwards, they will feel your pelvic area to see if your internal organs such as your fallopian tubes, uterus, and ovaries are okay.
Once that is done, they will prescribe you the birth control that you want, if everything is okay.
That's about it. I'm sure everything will be okay. Just relax. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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ok. i have a boyfriend, we have been going out for about a month and a half. we dont do alot together becase i'm really busy. well everytime we do something together he doesnt talk to me for like half an hour, he is supper shy and i think he is like scared of me or something, but i know he really likes me. i'm kind of shy to so this is really hard. its really hard to talk when were together, so what should we do becase we really like eachother?? (link)
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Hi,
sooner or later, someone has to make the first move. If a guy is shy, it's going to be hard for him to come out of his shell. So, you may have to make the first move. Start off by doing something the both of you like that doesn't require a lot of talking, maybe going to see a comedy, or bowling where someone has to make a response on how well the other person is doing.
Things like this should break the ice a little and you can go from there. I hope I helpedl
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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ok so this guy and i were messing around and we ended up having sex. well he didnt have a condom but im on birth control. one of his friends was coming so we stopped cuz we didnt want anyone to know. so he didnt cum but could i be pregnant because i have been really tired and i've started to feel sick.
i just want to know if its possible to get pregnant if he didnt cum (link)
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Hi, you didn't say what type of birth of birth control you were on. If used correctly, most birth control is pretty effective. Have you missed a period? If you have, take a test followed up by a visit to your doctor if you miss two.
You could be tired for a variety of reasons, nerves being one of them. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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so i broke up with this boy over a year ago, but I'm still in love with him...
ive tried asking him out a couple times, were close friends still and i have told him how i feel but he just doesnt have feelings for me anymore.
i moped around just thinking id be alone forever for a while, then i started dating again, but i always end up dumping them because i feel guilty for still loving my ex.
should i be feeling guilty? tell me anything besides give it time... thanks! (link)
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Hi,
I understand what you're feeling, but I don't think you should feel guilty for loving your ex. It's a natural feeling.
I agree with the previous columnist that you should probably wait before dating again. YOu're not coming into the relationship as a whole person. Only part of you is there. The other part is pining for someone else.
Try doing other activities to get over your ex like going out with other friends who are not his friends. YOu don't need to hear about what he's doing or anything. That will only make you feel worse. Eventually things will get better and you can move on with another relationship. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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how can i not get so much discharge? it leaves like puddles in my undies (link)
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Hi,
every woman has a natural discharge; getting more during ovulation. However, if you feel like it is puddles or it is more than you have ever gotted in your normal cycle, I would suggest going to the doctor and let he/she diagnose the problem.
I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Age: 14
Gender: female
Before I ask, I am going to provide a bit of background information. So there's this guy, I have loved him for almost over a year now, but we have not dated nor talked about it. Let's say I admire him passionately from afar, but we are very close friends. Just last Saturday, I went to his birthday party, and I really believed he was starting to understand that I liked him and maybe even like me back in the same way. The next day I walked into school and found out from one of my friends that he started to go out with this girl on Sunday whom he had known for less than a month as she was new to our school.
Needless to say, I felt horrible and was depressed for the rest of the day. I still am depressed, and he doesn't even know why. I really love him, and I want him to be happy, but I just don't know what to do. I can barely stand to be around him anymore, but I don't want to ruin our friendship either. Does anyone know what I should do? (link)
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Hi,
sometimes when you don't step up to the plate and say what you feel, someone out the blue comes and grabs what you want. YOu probably should have found a way to tell him how you felt. You can't ever assume that a boy knows what you want. You have to tell him. That happens sometimes. I would't suggest you telling him anything about it right now since he is with someone.
It really doesn't matter how long he has known her. He was attracted to her and asked her out.
You kind of lost out this time, but that doesn't mean you can never be with him. Continue to be his friend and see what happens.
Perk up. Most likely his new relationship won't last and you'll have your chance again. Don't miss out.
I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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i have a chubby face, but im a skinny person. how can i lose some of the chubbiness in the face without losing weight from my body? (link)
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Hi,
this will be difficult to do. Since you are a skinny person, it would not be wise for you to lose any weight and there is still no guarantee that you would lose weight in your face. Your chubby face is just a part of you are. Smile and be proud of it. Hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I been dating this guy named Josh on and off since 1999.We break up and get back together more times than i can count.I go a month or so not calling him and then I break down and call him out of the blue.I am on medication for my urges to call Josh and my mood swings.How do I stop breaking down and calling Josh out of the blue.We always break up and get back together more times than I can count.Josh keep telling me he wants to die and he will kill himself.Why do I keep doing this to myself by going back to him? (link)
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Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that. It seem like the bothe of you need to get into some type of counseling. YOu need to stay strong and take a break from each other and get your lives together; both mentally and psychologically.
Anyone who constantly saying they are going to kill themselves needs immediate help. I hope he has someone around who can help him with this, but it is not you. YOu need to take care of yourself.
If you really care about him and yourself, you will do this for the both of you. This is a serious situation. I hope this made sense and I helped you.
Good luck to the both of you,
Edidmarie
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Ireally want to get a job.Iam 13 years old and i dance and i always want new things,The thing it my mother is paying off a lot of things and cant keep up with the payments for dancing and i want to know if anybody knows where a 13 year ol can get a jobPlease help i love dancing but im afrain i might have to give it up!!!:( (link)
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Hi,
I wish I could give you more information, but most companies aren't allowed to hire 13 year olds. YOu have to at least be 16 or 15 if you have a work permit from your school.
The only thing I can suggest is maybe going around to your local small owned business and ask if they need help after school. They may pay you or ask a friend of the family if they need help with something for pay. Babysitting is always the old standby. I hope it works out.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Well I am 15 and my boyfriend is 17. We just started dating 4 days ago.We have been friends for about a year and always have liked each other. Well we were always tlaking about how we wanted to make out and everything. Now that we are together he isnt paying to much attion to me and telling me we can hang out and we never do. Then one of my other friends who have dated him said he will dump me soon and his friend even said so.But he has always had something bad to say abotu others but never me. I know he likes me but I dont know how long it will last and I dont know how to get to talk to him when he wont tlak to me (link)
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Hi,
the last thing you should do when it comes to any relationship is listen to what other people have to say about it. If you have a question about what's going on, ask him. YOu have to learn that early. You've only been dating for 4 days. That's too soon to judge anything. Some boys like the chase, maybe now that he has you, he wants to be on to the next. I don't know him. YOu have to judge that for yourself since you've known him for a year, but like I said, things can change once you start dating.
The next time you see him, tell him that the two of you need to talk. There could be legitimate reasons why he hasn't had time for you. Confront him and take it from there. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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16/f
2 weeks ago i was at this dance thing at school and there was this guy i talk to a lot and i think i have a crush on him but i dont really know for sure if i do. At the dance there is a lot of grinding going on and stuff like that and he came up to me and started dancing with me. I got kind of turned on when he was dancing with me and i think he was too because i think i felt his boner but i'm not sure.
Ever since then I can not stop thinking about him and i keep on thinking about him in a sexual way. Is this normal for me to think about him like that after just grinding with him? I am going to hang out with him again so should i bring this up with him in a nonchalant way? I feel weird and creepy saying this but i constantly think about kissing him ever since the dance. (link)
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Hi,
it's perfectly normal for you to feel this way if you've never done it before and it gave you pleasure.
However, I wouldn't bring it up to him. I would just let things happen when they happen. If the two of you continue to hit it off, kissing is a natural progression. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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how can i get rid of arm fat fast??? please help (link)
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Hi,
start of with doing cardio that will burn fat, but to target the back of the arms, I have found that tricep kick backs are probably the most effective. Bicep curls will also keep the arms in shape. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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