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how do i overcome this?


Question Posted Tuesday October 7 2008, 5:48 pm

my boyfriend (20) and i (18) will be together for 4 months on oct. 30. he wants to go to a halloween party, well just any party. i doubt we will dress up but i have never been to a party with him and i wont know anyone there. he thinks that i just dont like going to parties with him because i tell him no more then once now. i do want too but i dont want him thinking im too shy i guess. i have a hard time talking to ppl so at a party it will be harder and i dont want to be by his side 24-7. along with that ive been to some parties mainly just kickbacks, im not a big partier. the drinking isnt a problem because i dont mind saying no, its just meeting people and talking to them and keeping a conversation going. and i believe that partys i have been to are nothing like the ones he goes to because i only party with close friends. sorry i know this is long but i had to explain my situation well enough. so thank you for reading and the advice.

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Jami answered Wednesday October 8 2008, 2:14 pm:
I know how you feel because I used to be shy and I would avoid parties when I was younger. My friends would never believe that now because I've become a regular party animal. If you want to become comfortable in these types of social situations you have to get out there and you will get used to it. You will become more comfortable each time you go out. Since you don't want to be there not knowing anyone it might be a good idea to invite another couple that you like to go along with you. You could even invite a couple of your own friends. There is nothing wrong with that and people do it all the time. You will have more fun. Also, be inviting to others at the party and smile and make eye contact. If they are his friends you will probably see them again so it will be good to make your first impression a friendly one. Always be yourself, don't ever feel like you need to try and fit in. It sounds like you are a strong individual and everyone has their own anxieties so just get out there and have fun, relax and be you.

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ediemarie answered Wednesday October 8 2008, 1:08 pm:
Hi,
i used to be the exact same way when I was younger. I still get that way occasionally, but the only way to get over it is to keep putting yourself out there.
It's hard meeting new people if you're shy. YOu probably get anxiety attacks where your hands sweat and you feel sick to your stomach. I had the same problems.
You just have to get used to talking to new people. This is one of those things where practice definitely makes perfect.
I would make up the same excuses not to go because I was insecure. It will get better.
The first time will be tough, but I promise. Start by saying it's a nice party or compliment the host. Say something to break the ice with people. People will eventually start talking to you. The more you talk to people the better you will get at it and you will feel more comfortable about doing it. Before you know it, you will be an old pro.

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