about

♥♥♥♥♥♥
The name is Leah. I live in Cincinnati, OH. I really love to give advice! I have been here since November of 2004. But prior to joining here, I was always been seeked for advice. Still to this day, my primary concern is always helping someone out in need.

I am likely not the best columnist here, but I can quarantee I am very dedicated and concerned when I answer a question. If I answer a question you're not satisfied with, I will ask why, so I can try my best to change my answer. I only give people information that I know; not information that I might know. And if I notice a columnist giving you a wrong answer, you'll know I'll be correcting their response!!

I do allow everyone and anyone to ask a question. I may have listed favorite categories, but I really have no preference. I do love making new friends!! It's no problem to contact me by e-mail or IM. I do have a Myspace, and I will gladly give it out if asked! If you ever need advice, if you feel like ending it all, if you feel like no one cares, I am here!! Talk to me.. I will listen and I will help you!!

♥Leah

advice

Yesterday morning, my 16-year old Kerry-Blue passed away, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. Last year, my 9-year old Schnauzer passed away, so I know what it's like to lose a pet.

But my question is, if any of you have lost pets ever, what have you done to cope? I've been spending a lot of time with my 7-year old German Shepard/Irish Wolf Hound mix, and with my cats, too, and it's definitely helping, but I just wanted to know other ways I can cope.

Thank you so much. =]

I know how you exactly feel.

When I was 14 years old, I lost my cat, Whiskers. She was 13 years old, so I basically had her my whole life. I grew up with her, and we became so close. I could never fit in at my old elementary school, because I moved to a different town. Nobody liked me, nor accepted me. I had my cat who I could go to anytime. Every time I ran to my room and cried, my cat would apparently sense it, and she would come to me, and lay right next to me. I suddenly felt so much better. I loved her so much.

One night my family and I were at the drive-in. My Uncle called, and told me my called was just hit by a car. The car was speeding down my street, hit my cat, and ran off. Still to this day I hold a grudge to that person.. how can you be so cold?? We got home as soon as possible. I ran to my cat, and hugged her and cried. She was in shock, blind, her jaw was severely dislocated, and coughing blood. We got to the vets, and they couldn't do anything for her. I wanted her to live so bad. But if I let her live, she would be relying on medications and IVs because she can't live and breathe on her own.. she'd be blind and unable to walk properly. I was so devesasted, but I had to let go, and let God take care of her. She was put down that night. On our way home.. all I did was sob, sob, and sob. I couldn't even sleep.. all I did was cry. My mom had to hold me and try calming me down.. they even got me sleeping pills.. but it did nothing. I laid there, crying.. but felt numb.

Everyone knew I was close to Whiskers. She was like my best friend. To cheer me up a little, my local library put up this In memory of thing in there, to help remember my cat. My neighbors actually did that for me, because they loved her too. She was a friendly cat.

For the grieving process, it took awhile for me. You could never replace someone like Whiskers, ever. It took me a few weeks to end the crying. After that, every night I would lay down and pray to God and ask how she was doing, and to promise me He would take good care of her.

Months passed, and I was feeling better. Two years later, I got a cat named Slinky. She resembles Whiskers a lot but with a whole different personality. She's playful, and energetic. Even though I still miss Whiskers to this day, I love them both equally very much.

I coped by praying to God, and talking to people who were able to relate to my story. A girl across the street from me had the same experience. My street is off of a road.. it's a 25 mph limit, but gosh, so many stupid people go down that road doing 60 mph.. In fact, I had quite a few wrecks next to my house.

I still go to God on occasion, to check up on her. Don't get me wrong, I am not crying over her every day, but I always think of the happy times.. and it makes me smile. I was very lucky to have a cat like her. And I am luck to have Slinky too. All animals are precious.

Spend all the time you can with your present dog. You never know when his/her last day is. That's what I do with Slinky.. every day is a precious gift. Please don't waste it.

I wish you the best of luck, and I will pray for you. I know it's hard, but your dogs are definitely in a better place now.

Leah

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how do i gain weight on just my butt? Excersize does not help it makes my whole body thin.

YG is right.. when you exercise, you're burning fat everywhere; not just in one particular spot.

What you can do, is you can tone your butt, by doing exercises that target the butt and upper thighs.

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a couple weeks ago i was showing my boyfriend my back dimples. (you know those little dots on your lower back) and i lifted up his shirt a little to see if he had them. and he had hair on his lower back. i didnt really pull up his shirt to see how far his hair goes up or how much exaclty i was kind of grossed out. because idk how often it is that 17 year old bois have hairy backs. or if its attractive. how many of you girls have bfs with hairy back and how many of you guys have hairy backs? how common is it. and is it that bad? or should it be no big deal. please help this has been bugging me. thankyou in advance.

My boyfriend is extremely hairy, especially on the back. But my feelings regarding to it are neutral. I really don't have a preference, because it's something he can't control. But everyone is different.

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what job can i have that hires 14 year olds.

Never sign up for CashCrate!! They're a scam.

For jobs at your age, some companies can hire you, such as Kroger.. I know they hire minors frequently. But check your minor labor laws and contact HR for more information.

Otherwise, my first job was in babysitting. I don't know if you're into that, but gosh, you make some good money.

There are all kinds of community work available. I would definitely find something you're interested in, and put it in the paper. Maybe dog-walking, or house-sitting, or lawn mowing?

I hope I helped.

(Please don't resort to online surveys, or at-home jobs -- they're not legit)

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i am thinking about working at dairy queen or baskin robins
-i was wonderin if they hire 16 years old without work permits
-for all the people who have worked at these places, what did u do to get the job, did u just go to the place and they gave you an application or somethin
-i need details

Hiring at 16 without work permits all depends in what state you're in. I know in my state, Ohio, you need a work permit if you're under 18.

You first get an application from the place of interest, or you can simply print it out online, or apply online.

Give it 3-5 days (business days), until you can contact the manager. Ask for him/her personally, and ask about the status of your application.

It looks very good on you to call a few days after applying. You may keep calling until you get an answer.

In this economy, it's important to make every aspect of you count. For the interview, come in a few minutes early. Dress professionally, and the manager will likely first ask you to talk about yourself. Keep it brief, at a 2 minute limit. Explain your work history (if any), and education history. They'll ask why should they hire you; any skills you have; and then they will let you ask questions.

You should always try to ask questions. Examples:
What kind of people are you looking for in this job?
Are there opportunities for growth?

Look presentable, confident, and prepared. If you do, I am sure you'll do great.

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14/f

So my family is not at its greatest level. It hasn't been for awhile. I'm not saying its the worst. Cause it can get worse. I'm not complaining, I'm just asking for help.

So I get stressed out so easily. I cry every night. Some of the times I don't know why.

My mom is an alcoholic. My dad fights with her all the time about it. I mean, he drinks too, but its moderate. It kinda scares me because she has gotten way worse. I've always kept these things private. But I opened up to one of my friends since I was crying in school for awhile. She went with me to something for teens with alcoholic parents. Honestly, I didn't feel it would help me. So I didn't go back.

My friend always tries to help me and everything. She knows everything about me. Mostly. I've cut myself since I was in 8th grade. I'm going to be a sophomore this year. I know its really bad. But its turned into a habit I can't stop. And I don't really want to because I like it so much. The only people who have ever found out were some of my friends. They try to help, but they can't. They tell me to talk. I just can't. I don't open up to someone and I just can't go and talk to some adult I don't know and tell them my problems. I just can't. Since I started, I couldn't stop, and it got worse. I don't do it deep. Just enough to feel it...but I got to where I cut everywhere. I feel alone when I do this.

So people say I need help. It's not like that...I can't be crazy. One of my bestest friends has called me stupid for cutting when she found out. I just can't do this and I can't deal with it. She grew up in a great home so I don't blame her for seeing it that way...

My brother has gotten into so much trouble. He almost went to juvi for stealing. Its not fun to sit back and watch that.

A few of my friends come to me for help. I'm there to listen. They just don't know that I need someone there. I'm so glad that they need me though.

So I'm sorry this was long. What should I do?

I am really sorry about what you're going through. The previous columnist gave you resources. But, I thought, you would also like to hear from someone in the same situation.

My mom is also an alcoholic. My dad has anger problems where they fight constantly. Sometimes I got verbally and physically abused. I cried a lot of nights, and get suicidal. I used to cut, but I stopped. I tried the overdosing, but I stopped that. I even resorted to drinking and weed but only for a few months, but I stopped. I realized nothing like that works; it only made it worse.

My teacher recommended me to go to Alateen, but I honestly think hearing other people's stories wouldn't help for me. All you do is discuss your family situation. What does that do?

I went to counseling back in High school to vent out my problems. She couldn't do a whole lot since she was a school Psychologist. I came in one day seeing her, wanting to kill myself, and I had to be taken to the ER to take tests, and ask me questions. My parents came in, and realized what they have been doing to me. After that day, things stopped. It was basically like family counseling for me.

What I did learn from quite a few people, is that your mom's problem is not your fault. You did nothing to cause it, and you did nothing to persist it. Your friends don't completely understand your situation. You're not stupid for cutting yourself. No one is stupid. You do it as an escape.

I know how you feel about not wanting to tell anyone. I was eerie about doing it, but I ended up telling someone, because I just needed someone to talk to. I would really go see your school Psychologist. Your information is kept confidential, unless you mention feelings of suicide or harming others.

I would call the hotline the previous columnist recommended, so they can give you some options. Please don't delay it. I did, and it just got worse. I ended up acting on it, and things got better. I stopped my suicidal habits, but sometimes I get depressed.. so I am on medicine for it to help me. Maybe you should try that route as well.

You're not alone, either. I've also been where you are now. And I know it's so hard to tell anyone, and I know that feeling that no one will understand.. no one can help.. you'll maybe hear some sorrys, but it does nothing for you. You want things to change, but [rhetorically] where can you start?

It's important for your friends to give you support. If your friends are going to call you stupid, then they aren't real friends. Cutting is a way of feeling pain, and having a feeling of control.

At this point, I would call the hotline. It's important to tell someone. Something like this, could get very serious, and someone can get seriously hurt. Your brother also needs to find someone to talk to.

Since I know how this feels, I can always offer you support and advice. You are more than welcome to come to me for support. I'll be here for you every step of the way. Just stay strong for me, and find someone to talk to, like your school counselor, or call the hotline -- whicever better suits you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I am certain things will get better.

Leah

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i dont really know if this question will go through or not..but it's worth a shot..and i dont really know how many people will..but hopefully some.

me and my mom just learned today that here next month..we'll be loosing our house. i know it's kinda weird asking this..but i need as much help as i can..

if anyone is willing to pray for me and my mom..i would greatly appreciate it..just pray that our loan get's accepted.

our family name is walker..we live in a small town in arkansas.

i know it dosent sound like much..but it's really important.

please and thank you. (:

Miss Walker,

I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I am sorry that this is happening, but I will certainly pray for you and your family.

You'll be in my prayers! I hope you'll be safe regardless of what will happen.

If you need any more prayer requests, let me know =].

I wish you the best and God Bless you and your family.


EDIT: Congratulations!! That's awesome you got the loan!! I am so happy for you! =]
Leah

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I recently went to the gyno to diagnose a painful abscess I had on my inner labia- she said it is a blocked gland, so I had to put hot compress (with hot epsom salt water) and was prescribed an antibiotic. After a day, the abscess drained on its own- (mix of blood and pus came out), and I was told it was a good thing, and to continue with the treatment. I also have a pill (difflucan) in case of a yeast infection caused by antibiotics.

I noticed that the area is now purplish (looks like a bruise) and is slightly white-ish/grey. Any thoughts?

These have happened to me quite a few times. Abscesses are so difficult to treat sometimes.

The purplish area of where the abscess is, could actually be a bruise, because it could have broken a blood vessel when you bled.

Does the area hurt? If it does, then it's likely a bruise.

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Lately I have had a large amount of discharge and its very unusual. I am a virgin but I have given blow jobs, although, this was over a year ago.I don't think its an STD because I'm just now experiencing this. I don't know if its normal or not.

If it's coming out clear, you're fine. Sometimes the amount of discharge you get will flunctuate.

If it's a different color than usual, like a creamy or yellow substance, I'd see a Doctor, because it could mean some infection such as a Yeast infection. Another sign could be itching.. if you're not itching, and the color is normal, that's just your body trying to "clean you out."

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i have the original iPod nano with 2gb, and i thought that you could only have 500 songs on it, but i have 506 songs on it now, with album art, so i was wondering if you knew why.

The 500+ songs on there didn't yet exceed 2 gb. Not sure how to work an iPod, but you go into your settings -> memory, and check how much space you have, and how much you have left. You can put in 800 songs, if they're short or zipped/compressed files.

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i have massive open pores on both of my cheeks. you can see everything, i look like a sponge and its really getting me down. how do i close them??
thanks!

Adding on to everyone else's responses..

Apricot scrub will just make it worse. The apricot beads in there will just dig the dirt into your pores deeper, causing you to breakout, and having our pores still exposed and susceptible to bacteria.

Take a lukewarm shower (never a bath) or use the sink to wash your face. Use Noxzema face cream, and rub it into your face in a circular motion for about a minute. The menthol helps to open up the pores, while the other ingredients washes out the dirt. Rinse it off in the warm water, then soak your face in cold water for about a minute, or use a washcloth to pat your face with cold water. The cold water closes up your pores, leaving bacteria out of the skin.

There is also an astrigent in the grocery store made by clean & clear that will minimize the appearance of pores while cleaning your face. Works wonders, and it's only 4-5 dollars. Clinique works but they're slightly pricier. I would assume you would like to spend less money.

This however will take awhile until the pores actually close up. I have this problem, too. Usually because younger people have the open pores because younger people tend to have more oily skin than older people. Oil opens the pores and keeps them open.

Don't use scrubs, don't use beads -- they'll just keep your pores open. Use something that contains menthol such as Noxzema.

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soo.. i just got in a load of shit for drugs. (please dont tell me how stupid i am, i know i am)

i havent smoked in about 3 weeks. but 3 weeks ago i smoked a shitload of weed...
so for my drug test which is on thursday at 4:30 at the doctors office. i want to know if drinking a crapload of water will help me.

also, if its possiable.. how much water would i have to drink?
im going to start drinking a crapload of waterbottles tonight. all day wednesday. and all day thursday.
i read that drinking about a gallon of water will help.
and running. so, how many waterbottles a day should i drink?


please and thank you for the help=]

Water can help, but it's never a sure way of getting rid of the weed out of your system.

They recommened to never run; that can encourage the weed to stay in your system.

I'd definitely read up on this page asap, once you read this:
http://www.1stmarijuanagrowerspage.com/get-rid-flush-thc-from-body-to-pass-drug-test.html

You said it's thursday, so today I would recommend you start doing this asap until the evening.

They tell you not to drink water and take niacin hours prior to the test, because they can test you if you've been drinking lots of water, and taking niacin. Niacin flushes you out, and water detoxifies blood.

When you read this, drink up a lot of water, and take Niacin supplements. If you have none, you can find them in energy bars, cereal, and they're even in multivitamins.

Good luck.

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18/f

okay so im having this issue right? In april my period was 21 days late then in may i didnt even have a period. I've been getting the whole PMS symptoms this month, so i believe im about to start but im just kinda spotting at the moment. Yeah i know pregnant right? Well i took a test and it came back negative so thats out of the question... SO does anyone know what may be happening. I plan to go to the doctors soon but i dont know.... im sorta impatient right now.

I had the similar problem as you. Except my period came around normally in April, I had no period in May, and then finally in the beginning of June I had it.

I was getting all the symptoms, and wondered if I was pregnant. Negative.. so I think I could of been late because of stress. I have been stressed out a lot lately.

Before I started, I was spotting for a few days, and freaked out because it never happened to me before. I always started heavy.

I got some medical advice, and said it's probably stress, and you're going to start soon if you've been spotting for a few days. Well they're right -- I did start afterwards.

You don't say how long you've been spotting, but if it's been a few days, it's likely you are about to start. If you conceived back in may or april, you definitely would of had a positive result by now.

I am definitely sure you'll be starting soon. Just chill a bit if you're stressed, and not worry about it.

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I'm fourteen
I'll be fifteen August Fifteenth
My parents are apparently running low on money and I'm getting tired of my dad yelling at me everytime I ask for ten bucks
I also need money so I can go out shopping and stuff
But because of my age. Not many places will hire
I'm thinking I'll be the only sophmore without a job come September
So, are their any places that will hire at fourteen?
Or even fifteen?
I live in northern New Jersey, if that helps

Thanks. (:

Well I will correct some points here from previous answers.

For one, not every state will allow you to be hired at a chik-fil-a at 14. In my state, it's 16 years old. So not sure what state they're in.. I'd check your minor labor laws.

For Kroger, they can hire stockers and baggers at 14-15. But again, ask a manager if you're eligible in your state.

And yes, unfortunately they're minimum wage jobs. But it's a start, and it's decent pay for someone your age.

You can also do community jobs like babysitting, house-sitting, dog-walking, pet-sitting, lawn mowing, selling products (like yard sale, or create your own smoothie recipe), senior care -- help them with their groceries, you can do seasonal work as working at festivals, tutoring, teach seniors how to use a computer, landscaping, car washes, help out on a farm.. there are so many things you can do! And when I made my own business, I made so much money, that I miss doing it.

Also, your high school counselors can help you find jobs your age. Yeah, they can do that! That's part of their job -- to help students find employment and colleges. So try meeting with them. If summer break started, you can still reach them likely, but they have limited office hours. I'd definitely contact them ASAP, or go to your main office for more information.

Hope I helped.

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Okay.. I have long, curly hair and usually wear it up in a ponytail ALL the time for work because it gets frizzy when I start working even if its been straightened and everything.. I would really love to wear it down.. If anyone knows of something that would keep in undercontrol?? I don't know what they use like on Taylor Swifts hair because she flips it around Alot when singing but it never frizzes.. Anyway.. If anyone knows about anything let me know =]

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Avril Lavigne has/had the same problem. She has curly, frizzy hair actually. And when she became famous, she started straightening her out. You may know how crazy and jumpy is on stage, so you might wonder how she keeps that straight hair not looking frizzy..

I read an article about it in some magazine, and she actually uses something called hair freeze. It's kind of like a gel, but it feels like conditioner, and you rub it in your hair after straightening. Works pretty well.

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why do (did) those like thin jelly bracelts mean sex? please answer this

I can tell you what I know.

Back in the late 80's/early 90's, many people would wear those jelly bracelets to parties or outtings. When they were invited for sexual activity, their partner would cut off the jelly bracelet, depending on the color and what they did. Different colors mean different activities. I don't know what each color stands for, though. It was just the trend back then.

I know it's vague and brief, but that is all I know and I hope it helped somewhat.

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I Had Sex For About 30 Minutes and And Then About An Hour Later I Started My Period. I Don't Think The Condom Broke Or Slipped Bhut Somebody Help Mhe

Help you with what exactly?

You're likely not going to get pregnant if that is what you might mean.

And you could have been due for a period anyway. So you have nothing to worry about.

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I dont really want to post it on here so if you are good at giving relationship advice, then message me on AIM: xxdont4get143xx


Thanks!

I do have AIM, and I added you. But I don't see you on just yet as of right now.

When you do get on, feel free to IM me. My AIM s/n is on my profile, if you would like to add it.

If you ever change your mind, you can post the question into my inbox and I will answer your question shortly.

If there are any problems, let me know.

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Hello people I need your help i am having these symtoms:Sleepyness,Stomick cramps,Brest tenderness.i Dont know if i have pms yet and i get white discharge and little red drops in my under wear there very small.
Please help me
love gam906e

It does sound like you're about to start your period soon. =]

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i need everyones opinion. i have seen commercials about proactive, clean&clear, and skin Id.

if anyone has tried any of these, can you please tell me which one works best? just opinionated answers will suffice. if you actually know which ones work better, but havent tried them, thats fine too.

thanks so much!

I will agree with Jack. Proactive didn't work for me at all. I hated it. When I was on it, things went well, but when I suddenly stopped, it came right back and it got worse.

Clean&Clear does well at removing mild acne on the face, but I would give it a mediocre rating; better than ProActive.

I have never tried Skin ID, and I never read reviews on it, so I couldn't talk about that one.

If your acne is mild, I would definitely use Clean & Clear. Most products on the shelves only will fix mild acne.

If your acne is moderate to severe, I would see a Dermatologist about getting prescribed antibiotics, and prescription skin treatments.

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