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< I am a Christian and I am a mother >Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.
advice
how may i know that my gf is truly love me ?because our relationship is iligal . & one tym i caugh her that she is flerting to other guy in a message on a facebook when i open her account i read in tHier chat that my gf is denied me As her bf . when the guy ask her if she have a bf.
Your girlfriend does not love you. If you feel the needs to check her Facebook then you don't need to be together anyway. The fact that she denied you tells you plain as day she does not care about you. Move on to someone who deserves you, someone you can trust without snooping through her email and facebook.
Question Posted Wednesday August 21 2013, 3:37 pm
Hi there my cousin and i have been together for 6 yrs secretly we hve a 5 yr old daughter together and no one knows about it weve managed to keep it a secret this long but late last year she decided to end it recently saying she cant pretend anymore and alota people will get hurt if they found out i know shes my cousin but i just fell in love with her and even now im stil madly in love with her i havent seen or spoken to her in a month now and im heartbroken is it true u cant choose who u fall in love with? and i miss my daughter too and ive Also been told by people shes been seen with another guy this is just a very big mess at the moment i dont know what to do
First of all you have a child together and regardless of how others feel how she feels and what people may think it's your child as well as hers. You have every right to be apart of your child's life. The mother of your child really chose a terrific time to suddenly have morals and a desire not to hurt others. Honestly it's too late. You need to do what you need to do legally to regain your rights as the child's father. If she didn't want to hurt others she should have considered that long ago.
Yes, it's true you can not control who you love but you also must not put yourself in a position to do things you may later regret. For example, I am married because of this I don't go out with other men because there is that possibility I develop feelings that had I maintained boundaries would never develop.
Long ago incest was not a moral delima but rather a genetic issue. Closely related people risk having children with mental and physical problems and this is why laws were originally in place to protect children. But if you think about it we are all cousins somewhere down the line. I'm not saying what you did is right or wrong but since she has moved on you should as well and just focus on being a good father. Eventually the truth will come out and at the very least it will eat away at you not being able to be the father you want to be. I would just obtain my legal rights and let people assume whatever they want. You two are no longer together so the gossip will most likely be harsh and hurtful for away but before you know it the gossip will shift to someone and something else.
I have a lump inside my right labia , been there for a few years. Started out small but grew during my pregnancy last year. Its not painful , but knowing itd there is really uncomfortable for me. I was told it may be an herpes outbreak since i have genital herpes but for 3 years ? Im scared it may be a sign of cancer.
Ive told my doctor when i first noticed it but it was.small back then , he said he didnt see or feel anything its not a hard lump . Ive also had problems with discharge i always go to my doctor to check for stds and i
Turn out clean but still always a white discharge. Its so annoying.
Sounds like a cyst that can actually burst on it's own under enough pressure which is not harmful in the least. But As the other person stated get another doctor. A doctor should never say it may be herpes and do nothing about it especially when you are pregnant. If it was herpes it could have harmed your baby.
As for the discharge if your tests are negative then you are probably just a person that produces a lot of yeast. You may also be having reoccurring bacterial and yeast infections. Remember when ever taking antibiotics follow with yeast infection medications because antibiotics tend to cause them.
I'm 20 years old and just finished my second year of college. By credit hours, I'll still technically be a sophomore in the fall. Currently, I'm majoring in Sociology with an emphasis in Substance Abuse studies. I love it, but the problem is that the university I'm tranferring to does not off that program. I really want to do something that will allow me to help people. I DO NOT want to be an Education major and I don't think Psychology would be a good match either. What are some unique degrees/majors I could choose that would be similar to what I'm in now? I'll be attending Oklahoma State in the fall.
I would suggest business management- Human resources or disaster management. It's extremely difficult to find decent paying jobs with a major in sociology or psychology. However business majors open an incredible amount of doors and a variety of options. Disaster management on the other hand is a field you can not only help others but make a lot of money doing so and fortunately but unfortunately there is not a shortage in disasters. Having a degree period will set you a little ahead but choose wisely you don't want to spend the rest of your life paying off student loans.
Can I get rid of stretch marks by natural ways ?
NO! Take it from a mother of three who tried everything. I even tried things to prevent them in the first place. Some people are more apt to getting them than others. Don't waste your money on any products out there. They do not work. Surgery is the only minimizing solution and I would never recommend that.
Okay well I have a really close friend I knew for like 2 months now?
We actually talk everyday. About life and about all the random things!
But yesterday I mentioned my step mother in one of our chats. And he said: Wait.. Step mums? You have a step mum?'
So I said yeah and I told him I don't talk about her at all cause we aren't that close so basically I thought okay sorted.
But he sent me a picture on snapchat saying goodnight
Then he sent me the message on a messenger after that.
But since then he ignores my snapchats
And I have a feeling he's a bit different with me. He one word replies! :(
Do you think he might be angry for me not telling him about my step mum? We don't know each other in person. He's in America and I'm in Europe.
If it helps, I'm 15 and he's 16. And I'm female :p
Hope someone helps!
As an American myself I can tell you that American's are no strangers to divorce and step-parents. I doubt this is the issue. I'm leaning towards the idea that because you never mentioned this before he might think there is some sort of game being played on him. He may be questioning if you are the same person you have presented yourself to be. I highly doubt his actions are based on who you really are. If his hang up truly is over step-parents it makes no sense for him to be upset or distance himself from you as you had nothing to do with the choices your parents made. I know he's been a big part of your life the last couple of months but you lived 15 years without him and if he doesn't realize what he is missing out on then just move on. Trust me there are plenty of other nice American guys that would appreciate getting to know you.
F/15
I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 months now, I've noticed his ex-girlfriend is constantly texting him. He was in the shower when I had a urge to go through his phone, I looked through his inbox and they was loads of messages from her saying "I love you" "You piss me off so much" etc. I didn't get chance to read through his outbox because I heard him coming to the room. I know it's a bad thing to do, to go through his phone but I have some feeling he still has feelings for her :/ I've confronted him and asked him if he still does, but he says he doesn't and starts calling her names such as "tart" he also has texts from when they were together! Now why would you still keep your text messages? I'm so confused about it all...
Yes he has feelings and he is doing more than just texting her. Believe me, when he talks to her about you, you are the tart. He is playing both sides. If you feel the need to go through his phone than you shouldn't be with him. You deserve a relationship with someone who respects you enough to end all communication with his ex. You need to move on before you invest any more time and emotion into him. You deserve so much more than this. I promise you will end up hurt. Trust me I know what I'm talking about. Your gut feelings don't lie.
I wanna have sex at my charter school, but its very strict. What shall I do? Cuz my mom doesnt allow me to have set at home...
If you are school aged you should not be having sex. Not at home and certainly not at school. Sex should be the last thing on your mind. There is so much more to life and if you become sexually active at such an early age there is a real chance you will limit your future. You could become a teen parent and even at 32 years old I am married with children and it is a hard job. You could also risk getting an STD. You are just too young. I promise you will live to regret this decision. Chances are at this time in your life the person you want to have sex with will not be around in the future. You will have shared a special time with someone who will have moved on and honestly they will move on sooner than later. My advice, wait until you are old enough to have sex in your own home that you pay rent on with your spouse.
Hi . Could I have your number ? I'm 13 and might be pregnant and need a lot of advice ;(( please!?
I'm sorry I have been locked out of my account for a couple months now. Please let me know if you still need some advice as it has been a month since your posting.
I am 13 years old. I have a friend that is 27 years old. In a month or less I will be moving to California . My friend is supposed to be moving with us. BUT a few days ago he had told me he's good at making out and I should try it with him. And I'm like huh ? And then he told me how he liked me and stuff. But my mom had just asked 3 days before, if Dustin (the friend) was weird or if he made me feel uncomfortable,etc. (basically if he was a pervert). And I'm like no , because I didn't know yet and she's like okay . Because he claims to be gay also BTW. And he has this crappy job with crappy people and lives in a small crappy hotel too. And IDK if I should tell my mom 'cause I would be the reason his life sucks and I don't think I'm in the place to take away dreams just to feel more comfortable. Help me! Should I tell or not?
This man should be locked up immediately! He is sick in the head! Why is your mother allowing him in your life at all? He sounds like a drug user to be honest with you. A grown man living in a hotel and dealing with what you describe as crappy people. Get away from him! Tell your mom exactly what he has said to you. Who cares about his dreams! He is a grown ass man for havens sake. It is not your responsibility to see that he lives a happy life. You are 13 years old. Your mother needs to look out for your best interest ONLY! Eventually, if this continues and he moves with you and your mother more is to come and I wouldn't be surprised if your mother has to pay the price. Your mom is allowing him in your life and this nonsense to go on. She is in violation of child endangerment and you could become a ward of the state. Foster care is not where you want to be I'm sure so you need to report this sick guy NOW!
hi i had an affair 8 years ago and back in november i told my husband about the affair the tricky part to my affair is that from that affair i had a child my son who is now 8 . for 8 years i let my husband raise my son as his own i also told him that our son was not his we are handling things the best that we can and my son's bio father has been seeing my son a little here and there and he calls from time to time my husband is aware of this but i still feel like i have to choose between my husband or letting my son get to know his bio father . like i said we are handling things but there still are thoes uncomfortable moments between us and im not sure what to do my husband wants this other man to just drop off the face of the earth as i can understand that but my son likes talking and seeing his bio dad and as painful as all this is i think it's important for my son to know his real dad even if it's only once every few months he sees him he at least sees him . or should i just let my husband raise him and let my son pursue his father when he is older .
How heartbreaking! Why did you tell him at all? After 8 years really what were you trying to do? If your husband has loved and cared for your son then that is his son. You have started something that will most likely get worse before it gets better. Your husband's feeling have been hurt so badly but now you can't undo what you did. Your son wants to know his biological father and has begun a relationship and you can't undo that either. To be quite honest with you I don't think you want to be with your husband. I wouldn't be surprised if this whole thing ended in divorce. Let the piece fall as they may. There is no going back now.
I took 18 excedrin extra strength and im ready to die. Im goin to prison for 6 yrs. I cant take my life anymore. I need help and advice.
Did you feel suicidal before finding out you were going to prison? If so you definitely need to see a psychiatrist and soon. If you get medication prescribed before hand you will have an easier time getting them while locked up and it will make your time much better and faster.
However, if you did not feel this way before then you are totally normal. Are you even sure it's the full 6 years? Is that your shock sentence? If you are serving in county generally each day counts as double. In Federal you serve 80% of your sentence. You can also get work release where you get out all day 5 days a week. I know it sucks but hang in there. In the big picture 6 years is a short period of time. Just keep busy in there. Take up every job and class you can get. Get your GED college degree, go to every church service. Write your friends have them send you pictures and letters and money of course. I promise you it's not as bad as it seems. If you don't start trouble generally there will be no trouble. Don't act scared but don't act hard either. Find some friends in there you might know from the streets. Have your family and friends visit as much as possible. Don't kill yourself! As a Christian I firmly believe we go to hell for committing suicide. That's far worse than any jail we have here. You can do this and you will be just fine. Don't take anymore pills. What might happen is you will just damage your liver or other organs and end up living a painful life and that is a far worse sentence than a measly 6 years.
okay so recently me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby and have not had any luck what so even about 4 years ago i thought my hymen broke whilst having sexual intercourse and i bled now that im wanting to have a baby and it not happening im wondering what is going on. now tonight when my partner was fingering me he said he hit like a wall i told him to go further but he couldnt he said there was a little hole there but nothing else he pulled his fingers out and there was alot of blood..... i want to know is my.hymen broken and can i get pregnant?
You should reconsider trying to get pregnant at this time. You really need to educate yourself first and foremost before bringing a child into this world. If you don't know the answers to these "simple" questions I am afraid of what else you have yet to learn. Not to mention being unmarried. Being married with an amazing support system is hard enough, but to do so with just a boyfriend you're in for a rude awakening. Please go see your gynecologist and become much more informed before taking any further steps.
i am being sincere i havent worked for like 2 1/2 years but the reason for that is because ive been at home taking care of my dayughter and im having a hard time with the employers cause it seems like it bothers them when i tell them i havent worked for that long should i lie to them
Do not, I repeat do NOT mention having young children at all. Although jobs are not supposed to discriminate, employers are quick to pass up on a mother with children. I know this first hand. They assume that if your child becomes ill or has appointments you will be calling in a lot. What you need to do is put the company name in bold and not the dates. You could also take out the months if for instance you worked until February of 2010 just put 2010. For the time gap you could add a "volunteer position or research project that relates to the job you are applying". For example if you are applying for a teaching position say that you were researching adolescent interpersonal relationships. Honestly in this economy 2 1/2 years is not a significant time of unemployment. I'm hesitant to believe that is the real issue. I wonder if they gather your work gap is due to having children because as I stated sharing that information is a sure way to not get hired. Good luck and hang in there.
Im a female in my 20's with a lot of uncertainty. I was with my ex for 6 years. Our families grew up with each other so we spend many holidays and events together. He was way too jealous which is why we broke upp. I moved to another state with a new boyfriend that did not work out and continued with my life, but always having him in my heart. He began dating his fiance. I then met and married my husband feeling that there was no chance. Well, my husband has been the worst relationship ever. He has lied and cheated on me dirty from the beginning and i didnt find everything out till after we had a child. Now going through a divorce. Every year when i go back home for the holidays, my ex contacts me. From what my family says, his current girl is super clingy. Well, 6 years have gone by and theyve been engaged for five with a 10 month old. He has been reaching out to me after my telling him that i still have feelings and it would be best not to talk. He says its on a friendly note. Not true because on some occassions, hes asked me for a dirty picture. Of course i said no. But i know he is not happy. My feelings never went away. Im planning on making the move back home since things havent worked out and i never really liked the state i live in, especially not having any family around. Why does he keep reaching out to me? What should i do? I know he is not happy as his own family says he isnt.
If you are finished with your relationship you need to allow him to finish up with his and tie up any lose strings before you even consider a relationship with your ex. It just might be that you two were meant to be but don't start off a relationship with drama and unnecessary issues such as the mother of his child popping in and out of his life. Make sure to start an open and honest friendship first before moving forward with anything. Don't forget you both have children whom's happiness is greater and more important than that of either of you two so put their best interest as priority one.Good luck :)
Hie, l would just like to know how l can stop caring about my husband. We've been together for 5 years and we have a lovely boy. He is an educator and he flirts with his female students(emails, whatsapp & messages) l am really tired of checking his phone and asking questions all the time. This whole insecurity is making my life miserable. l want to STOP caring about what he does. Am l obsessed?? He has hit on a family member & my friends in the past. Please advice me,l don't know how long l can go on like this.
You have devoted your life to a man and created a family. Your cares and concerns are not obsessive behaviors. You are seeking the relationship you signed up for and didn't get. I am so sorry you are going through this. What I have found to be true is the saying "it takes one nail to knock out another". I'm not suggesting that you cheat on your husband but sometimes you need the love and attention from another to finally have the strength to move on. I know for me in past relationships I didn't truly get over the guy until I found another one. It was a wonderful feeling to FINALLY be over him. It may seem impossible right now but I promise you if you allow someone else to treat you the way you deserve you will be surprised how quickly you can move on. If you think there's a chance your husband will see the error of his ways and you are willing to work things out I would hope for the best especially since you have a beautiful baby boy. However, no one deserves to be mistreated and feeling like they have to look over their shoulders and check pockets and what not. Marriage should be about trust and as you said he's making your life miserable. He is breaking your spirit and causing unnecessary stress. Be strong and I wish for you the best.
I am getting really worried about my mom lately. She has been obsessed with facebook for about a year now, she is on it for about 3-4 hours a day, every week.My dad has to work about 10-13 hours a day, and he has to clean around the house, because my mom is to lazy lately.My dad and my grandparents think that the family relationship is getting demolished. Somtimes my mom will lock herself in her bedroom on a video call with a "friend" named Tony. One time i satyed on the other side of the door and I heard: "this gets easier after a while right?" and "Well, i think i should go before one of gets in trouble." I did a study last weekend to see how long she spent on facebook. She was awake 13.5 hours, and 5 hours of it was on facebook. She has gotten really mean lately, and cusses at: Me, my dad, her mom ( My grandma)My dog,and my friends and their parents. One day she didnt make dinner ( facebook) and I had to make it myself. She didnt get of of facebook until around 11:30. HELP ME!! MY MOM HAS TURNED INTO AN ADDICTED BITCH!!
Your mom sounds to be unhappy with her life. Not unhappy with you or her family but she is definitely in search of something; perhaps attention she thinks she is not getting else where. In no way shape or form is this your fault or your problem to fix but as the person before me said you really should tell your mom how her actions are affecting you. As a married mother of three I have to say that FB and other outlets can be very tempting and time consuming. Sometimes as a wife and mother you just get so stressed and overwhelmed with the day to day life and get that feeling of "the grass is always greener". At times I must admit I get bored of my relationship with my spouse and I wonder how life would be with another but I always think of my children and their happiness first and remember the good times. From what you have described it does seem as though your mom is interested in someone else. I'm not sure what her relationship is with your dad but it sounds like she doesn't want to hurt you or anyone else and that is why she is so secretive. But, her actions seem very selfish not considering what this is doing to you. On the facebook end of things it is very common for people to get wrapped up especially when they first start. Unfortunately people tend to value a cyber relationship so much they are willing to neglect their real life relationships right there in front of them. It's easy to believe the person on the other end is so wonderful because all they put out on the screen are positive things. You never get the real daily dirt from an online relationship. I can promise you if your mother takes things any farther she will never be happy. Perhaps you can tell her exactly what you think she is up to how her actions are affecting the family and that you need her to put more time into you and the rest of the family. It hard to tell you but she's probably going to get angry about it and act like it's everyone else's problem. That's what people do. However, I do think she will feel guilty enough to change at least somewhat. I hope things work out but believe me you are not alone. Facebook is tearing apart families everyday.
Im 16 and planning on getting my belly button pierced. I was wondering how long it would take to heal, how much it would cost, how old i have to be? Also how much does it hurt? I have a medium pain tolerance, ive dislocated my knee before but i dont think it the best with pain. So anything and everything you could tell me would be great thanks! :)
You must be 18 years old in the US or have parents consent. It costs about $60 and the pain only lasts for one quick second- not bad at all. I too have dislocated my knee and it is the worst pain ever besides giving birth so if you made it through the dislocation you should be just fine. :) It does take awhile to heal but it really should feel fine after a week or so. i used hibecleanse to speed up the healing for mine. I no longer have a belly ring but the hole still looks pierced. i guess that will never fade away. All and all if you want it get it you can always take it out. good luck!
hi, we've been dating for 16 months and just moved in together. he's a single father and he's in his late 40's. he used to be polite and all lovely with me but now, he just doesn't understand when i'm kidding and teasing him. if i say, ''don't have to be so negative'' and he goes and replies , ''yes i'm negative and good thing you're learning.'' what does he want? i mean does he want to split up? he used to say he wants a long term relationship. what does his behaviour mean? help guys. thanks
From just what you have said it does not seem like he wants to split up but more like he feels like he can control you and treat you any kind of way and completely take you forgranted. Sounds like he was nice to get with you but now his true character is coming out.
what can i do to not be jeleous of my boyfriend? what can i do to trust him?
Unless he has given you a reason not to trust him just relax and enjoy the relationship. However, if he has given you a reason and you feel like you can't trust him mostlikely you never will and righfully so. You don't want to spend your life jealous and wondering what he is up to, thats no fun so find someone you can trust and be happy. Trust issues will destroy a relationship eventually rather there is a reason or not. He will get tired of your jealousy and you will get tired of looking over your shoulder wondering whats going on.