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letting my son know his bio dad: I had an affair and got pregnant. Now I am making my husband share the baby with the guy I had an affair with. What should I do?
hi i had an affair 8 years ago and back in november i told my husband about the affair the tricky part to my affair is that from that affair i had a child my son who is now 8 . for 8 years i let my husband raise my son as his own i also told him that our son was not his we are handling things the best that we can and my son's bio father has been seeing my son a little here and there and he calls from time to time my husband is aware of this but i still feel like i have to choose between my husband or letting my son get to know his bio father . like i said we are handling things but there still are thoes uncomfortable moments between us and im not sure what to do my husband wants this other man to just drop off the face of the earth as i can understand that but my son likes talking and seeing his bio dad and as painful as all this is i think it's important for my son to know his real dad even if it's only once every few months he sees him he at least sees him . or should i just let my husband raise him and let my son pursue his father when he is older .
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I know I'm a bit young, but this is just my opinion:
I think both men should be involved in the child's life. You can never have too many fatherly figures in your life. If the bio. dad is visiting your son because he wants to, then he should be around more often.
I wish you the best of luck.
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How heartbreaking! Why did you tell him at all? After 8 years really what were you trying to do? If your husband has loved and cared for your son then that is his son. You have started something that will most likely get worse before it gets better. Your husband's feeling have been hurt so badly but now you can't undo what you did. Your son wants to know his biological father and has begun a relationship and you can't undo that either. To be quite honest with you I don't think you want to be with your husband. I wouldn't be surprised if this whole thing ended in divorce. Let the piece fall as they may. There is no going back now.
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give your hubby sme time and space the visits with the bio dad and the boy at time that suits him and let him in on things cause hes the real (first daddy)
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