Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84182
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I'd like to write for a newspaper or magazine on a freelance basis, perhaps as an "Agony Aunt" or something similar. How do I go about it and what should I do next? (link)
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Check out the www. search on "freelance writing" or Freelance writers" or freelance writing jobs"
and you will see that a lot of opportunities come up. YOu will have to do some work for free at first until you get published. There are a lot of free lance writing jobs on the internet. Also be sure you have an excellent command of the english language. And can spell. Using Spell check is oK, but not foolproof. Next go to college and take some course in creative writing and journalism. Read a lot so you can familiarize yourself with writing styles. Next pick up a copy of the book the Chicago Manual of Style. It explains everything you need to know aboug grammer. And grammer rules and writing rules and styles. Good luck and by the way, what is an agony aunt?
Michele
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Ok, I'm 15/f and I was with this guy for 2 months. Well he starting trying to pressure me to have sex with him. And I know this probably sounds stupid but I really wasn't ready to go that far. I know that a lot of other girls have had sex but I just wasn't ready for it yet. So anyway one night we were hanging out and he started to ask me to have sex with him again. I said no and I tried to explain why and make him understand. Well he seemed to understand and I thought that everything was ok. He brought me a drink of water and then I started to feel weird. The next thing I know I'm waking up next to him and now I'm pregnant. My friend said that he probably gave me a drug or something so I would have sex with him. I really don't know and I don't know what to do now. Did he rape me? And what should I do about the pregnancy? (link)
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Yes, honey you were raped. No question about it. It happens a lot. It is called date rape, and he gave you a date rape drug. A DNA test on the baby will determine if he is the father or not. He is going to say that you consented, but you hold to your story and tell everything that happened just like you did here. YOu have to tell your parents and you have to tell the police. He is going to do this again. If he gets away with this, he will think this is such a great thing he is going to do it to other girls. YOu can stop him from hurting more people. I hope that you have a close family and that they know you and trust you, and know you not to be a liar. Don't wait any longer. YOu must be very upset, you should not have to deal with this alone. I know people will help you if you tell them what happened. I hope they would have not reason to think that you would lie. This boy should not get away with this. Who does he think he is. The law is the law. It is ALWAYS, ALWAYS a woman/girls right to say NO. If you think this is OK< and he should get away with this, what kind of other things are you going to let guys do to you for the rest of your life. STand up for yourself. This is RAPE. You deserve better. All women do. To many boys/men get away with stuff like this because we don't fight for our rights. What he did is against the law and a violation of your person. IT is not OK. Please tell someone who can help you sort this out.
The preganacy, may be up to you what you do, depending on what state you live in. If you want an abortion, most likely you can get one. But they cost money, and you will need your parents help to pay for it. ANd he should pay for it and his parents should know what a jerk he is. I Hope this helps.
Michele
Please tell someone.
M
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So this Saturday is prom and I am going with the guy I like. What is some small ways I could let him know that I like him like what can I do? Thanks! (link)
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Ask him questions about himself. Boys love to talk about themselves. and then LISTEN. He'll think your soooo great, because you understand him sooo well.
Michele
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I'm a young teen who has a bit of a self-esteem problem. I never feel like I'm totally secure, except when I'm with my friends. I feel like I'm fat, ugly, and just not good enough. I'm not depressed or suicidal, I just don't feel confident. I really want to gain confidence, but I don't know how. Could you please help? Thanks in advance. (link)
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HI Honey, I am glad that you wrote. Why do you think you don' feel confident? Do you think your parents have anything to do with it. If not that is good. If they say your beautiful, and you think they "have" to say that because your their daughter, then....well that is a good thing. Because if they put you down and called you fat, all your life, you would have a really big self=esteem problem, that a short note from me could not help. So let's assume that your self esteem problem does not come from home. It may very well come from the messages that kids are bombarded with from TV, RAdio, MAgazines, Computers, books, and kids in school. Only being rich beautiful and thin matters. Anything else and you don't measure up. And it affects children or young adults more than any other segement of society. This is not reality, this is marketing. It is a plan by the marketing experts who sell soda, candy, clothes, cars, computers, news, etc etc.....they each person you see in the ads, or the news forecasters, or in the magazines, is young, beautiful and thin. And given that trio, we also assume that person is rich. We all want to be that person. I mean who wouldn't want to be the top model, the oscar winning actress, the beautiful news anchor person. We would be in demand, we would be famous, we could pay people to keep us thin, and we would be rich.
Now, back down on earth....the other 99% of us, what are we supposed to do. Go crawl in a hole and hide because we don't measure up? Of course not. We don't and we won't. Do I have an answer for you. Yes, but you won't like it. It takes times. I hated being a teen. I felt the same way you did. I wanted to be anyone but me. I never felt I measured up. I felt fat, ugly and I was sure that I was boring. (My problems did stem from the messages I got from my parents.) Maturity brings confidence. Living life and living it well, accomplishing things brings us confidence. Thinking about things other than ourselves. Brings us confidence and self-esteem. And you don't have to wait until you are in your 30's to feel this way. Confidence is the best attribute that you can have. And confidence is very very sexy, AT ANY AGE. Everyone, no matter how beautiful will eventually loose their looks, but no one can take confidence away from you. Confidence comes from always being comfortable in any situation. Always knowing what to do. And that comes from being intelligent. From taking chances. Some work out great, the others we learn from. Some of the most beautiful women/girls in the world have no confidence. Look at the girls in school who you and everyone agree are the best looking. Aren't they always looking in the mirror, fixing their hair, fixing their clothes. Aren't they always asking..."does this look OK? Does this go with that? Do I look fat in this? Does my butt look big in this" Sure you may ask those questions also, but when you hear them ask them you say to yourself, boy if I looked like that I would be happy. Well, they do...and they are not. They also don't have confidence. Very few of your friends have confidence or think they are perfect, but many of you would't think so. Look at the kids in school who do have confidence. (no not just your friends) The class president....the kids who have jobs after school. The older brothers and sisters. One thing I know for sure. The more time you spend worrying that you don't fit in, you'll be wasting on not enjoying life. You'll miss a lot. YOu can gain confidence when you accomplish things and people who are "accomplished" tell you that you did a good job. So adults are a better source of confidence building opportunities than your friends are. I suggest that you do some volunteer work. Or get a job if you are old enough. You will be good enough when you define yourself, not by the limited attributes of good looks, and money and fame, but by the things that can make us great. Like working with abused children, saving lives like doctors do, learning about the world around you and doing something to make a difference. That will bring you more confidence and self =esteem than any makeover, or hair color or weight loss. I am not saying that you should not look your best at all times. I try too and I am 52 years old. YOu know what. I felt the same way you did when I was your age, and 4 years ago, I went to my 30 year high school reunion. And all the girls that I so envied and so thought that I would never measure up to....had accomplished absolutely nothing intheir lives. They were still bar flys drank and smoked too much, and two of them had moved back in with mom. In their 40's no less. I have a career, own my own business and own my own home. And have raised two boys mostly by myself. They are both good boys with confidence in themselves. One is in college and one is in high school. They have not tried drugs or alcohol and they are happy and popular. My oldest has his own radio show on the collge campus. Can you imagine. I would never have been able to utter a word over a microphone on a radio station when I was a teenager. SO I learned the secrets to confidence and self esteem late in life, but I made sure that my boys learned them young. And they are the same ones I just told you. It really works. DOn't look to your friends for confidence and self esteem. And don't look at them to copy them either. Find something you are passionate about and follow it. Look to adults for advice and acceptance, and feedback on what a great person you are. Help out, volunteer, and know that high school is not life. YOur teenage years will be very short. There are only 7 of them. But you will be an adult for 50, 60, or hopefully 70 more years. Those are the years that you will enjoy, if you get an education, and learn some skills. Learn everything you can, and anything that interests you. You have the internet and therefore the whole world at your fingertips.
I hope this helps. WRite again if you have more questions or need more specific advice. But please give me more detail about yourself
Hope this helps, hope you didn't fall asleep reading it.
Michele
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What exactly is a facial (like when you go to a spa)? (link)
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Hello,
I am an esthetician, and I been trained and I am licensed to give facials. There a different kinds of facials, but all of them involve these steps. First you have to lie on the table, usually they have blankets to cover you. And the play nice music.
First they cleanse your skin, then hopefully the will exfoliate. Then they will tone your skin in between each step. Then you will get a facial massage. This moves the blood through the small capilaries close to the skin surface. It moves oxegyn and nutrients into the skin and toxins and waste out. it is a very important step in the facial. Then you should get a mask or masque. It can be a nutrient mask with Vitamin C in it, or a moisturizing mask, or a mask to relive acne or oily skin, (a clay mask) there are numerous different kinds of masks. Usually you can pick the one you want, or the recommend one based on your skin type. Then they remove the mask then moisuturize, and you are done.
Your skin will look and feel wonderful.
Michele
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my dad recently died and i cried a lot when it happened but the day after i didnt really cry but i think about it a lot. I was wondering if if it is wrong not to be crying and should be. (link)
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We all mourn in our own way. There will be many days when you will cry. And some that you won't. When there are special days in your life, you will cry because you will wish that your dad were there to see it, and share it with you. There is no right way or wrong way to mourn the loss of someone that is so important to us. You just go with your feelings OK. Don't act like other people expect you to act. And if you have other family members, especially your mom, try to be there for her. Good luck and God Bless.
Michele
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Okay.. I'm an advice colomnist for this but i don't have advice for myself...But i might have ADD.. This Tuesday I'm going to get tested.Like their gonna make me do all these word problems and stuff. And i feel like a weirdo or a physco when their doing this. Like i might have either ADD or ADHD. And i'm gonna feel so dumb when they make me do these questions...Does any have advice for me? (link)
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Being tested for ADD or even ADHD has nothing to do with how smart you are. It has to do with your attention span. They may give you something boring to read, or have you watch a boring show to see if you pay attention, or if you attention gets diverted to something elsein the room. And of course that can happen to anyone. We all get bored, but I guess ADD and
ADHD is defined by how often, how much and how intense we are at NOT paying attention to what we are supposed to be paying attention to. So like when you are in class, you learn NOTHING because you are unable to pay attention long enough. They may also have you read or watch something that you would find REAL interesting. They they will watch you to see if you can keep paying attention to it, or if your attention wanders, even though it is something that you would wish that you could pay attention to. Does this make sense? Hope so. Don't worry about it. The doctors will be very very nice.
MIchele
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can you have unprotected sex with a guy who is sterile??? (link)
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First of all, I would want to see a note from his doctor or at least talk to his parents to verify that he is sterile. Boys/Men lie all the time. Look how many men are married, yet cheat on their wives. And just because he had the mumps when he was young is not guarantee that he is sterile. He would need to be tested in order to verify it. And it would think it would be devasting to him. YOu must also keep this in mind. unprotected sex, even with a man who is sterile does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Syphilis and AIDS and other infections and viruses live in all bodily fluids even if there is no sperm. A man/boy who is sterile will still ejaculate, There will still be some bodily fluid and it can contain a disease. So you should still have him use protection. Please follow this advice. Or you will not be the first girl who was impregnated by a male who claimed to be sterile, and you won't be the last.
Michele
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whats the best way to get my boyfreind back i kno he likes me still and i still like him hes just goin out with my other friend(she dosnt think hes hott she just likes him because he funny not sweet or nice but because he funny which he is but hes alot of other thing to)he left the school i still see him so how do i talk to him-when i see him his girlfriend isnt there most of the time-
plz help (link)
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Well, just tell him that you miss his company. Or/and that you miss the good times that you spent together. Bring up something that was funny that you both enjoyed or that made you both laugh. A good memory. "Remember that time that we......" And see what he says. But also be patient. When confronted with the idea that you may want to go back with him....he will need some time to think about it, and there is the other girls feelings that he has to consider.
If you do this you open the door. But if he doesn't "walk thru" you have to be prepared for that also. Ultimately, it is up to him who he spends his time with. But it is okay to let him know that you are ready and willing to spend more time with him.
HOPe this helps
Michele
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Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened? (link)
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He is definitly sending a message with hid good bye behavior. You see, we have no choice but to judge people by their behavior. And while during the day he acted like he liked you a lot, and you guys seemed to connect. Why wouldn't he ask you for contact information so that you could stay in touch with each other. And your thinking, did he forget, was he unable to, was he prevented from seeking me out and is he regretting it, and kicking himself for not trying harder? I know you can drive yourself crazy asking yourself these questions. I know, I did it too, for many years, Then I decided to look at the guys total behavior. Because any guy will do all he can to get close to someone one "for the moment" or "for the day" or "for the night" ONe night stands! Do you know what they are. Well you just experienced a very short version of one. And since you were both young, and there were so many people around, the two of you did not end up in bed. So I am sure that you would be so much more upset if that had happened. Trouble is, we girls take boys at face value, we think because they act affectionate, that they like us, and want to be close to us because we are "special". In reality, boys (and men) know that if they act very affectionate, they have a good chance of getting lucky. Even at a young age, a few kisses and hugs and holding hands is getting lucky. Honey this behavior on the part of men/boys has not changed in thousands and thousands of years. Girls get their hearts broken all the time. And it is sad.
My take on his behavior is that most likely he has a girlfriend back home and was hoping to get some affection from you that day, and that was all. Please don't feel like there is anything wrong with you. He is the one with the problem. Going forward, be careful. Play hard to get. Again, like I said, things have not changed. As much as boys/men try to get into a girls pants and get out with no obligations and without looking back. Some day they are going to fall in love, (and most likely it won't be at 16) and the woman they fall in love with is going to be the one who didn't give in an inch until she was ready and usually when she is sure beyond the shadow of a doubt by the boy/man's behavior, that he has something in mind more than just sex. But a long term relationship.
I know that early on during the day, that is what was on your mind. WOw, you finaly found someone one you can relate to, you were hoping for a long term realtionship. If it were up to you, you certainly would have made a point of saying goodbye and asking if you could stay in touch. He could have done that if he wanted to, and if he also was thinking of a long term relationship with you. So bottom line, ...he acted nice, but he is not a nice guy.
If you see him again, at another church event, He will be expecting you to be mad. Best thing you can do is say HI, bright and cheery, and act like you don't care, and that the day didn't mean anything to you either. It will drive him nuts.
Sorry this is sooooo long, But I wanted to give you some advice you could use for many years. I do feel bad for you, so be careful, because it can get worse if you are not careful. Listen to your intuition. It will tell you. If it doesn't seem right, then most likely it is not. You deserve better than that. You are a nice kid to be going to church events and working with little kids. Keep it up. You are going to be fine.
MIchele
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is it possible for a girl to get a infection or anything from a guy with like dirty and ishy fingers and he fingers you? (link)
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Of course it is, especially if he caused any minor tears or abrasions in your vagina. It would most likely be a bacterial infection thought, just like a cut on your hand or leg, and not a sexually transmitted disease. I would guess that the symptoms would be the same. Redness, swelling, and puss like discharge. White or yellowish in color. But even an advanced bacterial infection in this area would require intervention by a physician and a prescription for oral anti=biotics.
Michele
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theres this guy in my drama class who is really fat and is like 350 pounds and has a billion pimples all over his face that is not able to be cured. hes telling ppl that i'm his girlfriend and i'm not. plus he stalks me becasue he knows where my house is. today he went to my house and tried attacking me becuase i don't want to be with him. lately hes attacked 3 of my friends cuz hes really violent. one of them that hes had a crush on he stalked her by breaking into her house by breaking her window and bringing flowers and a boom box so he can sing to her. he tried kissing my other friend but then she refused and then he bruised her. he also ruined the birthday present that i spent alot of my time making for my best friend and so it got destroyed. he also started moving over on where i was sitting and tried to touch me and put his arm around me but then thank god before he was able to do that my friend susana yelled move outta my way!!! and i don't know what do becuse today i have to meet up with the drama group to finish a project and hes in my group and itz too late to kick him out of the group because the project is due tomorrow. and i'm just scared on what he'll do to me. hes nasty and doesn't even have a good personality. (link)
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His behavior is against the law. Is the drama class a school sponsored event. Bullying and sexual harassment are against school rules. The school is REQUIRED BY LAW to do something about it. All of you have to complain. I can't believe that your friend tried to get a restraining order and it did not work. DId her parents go with her. THis boy sounds like trouble and when he grows up his behavior is not going to change it is going to get worse. YOu all have to file a complaint with the school, and tell the school, that you all plan to go to the police station to file an additional complaint with them and then follow through. People have a tendency to wait and and see what happens, and that is how people end up dead. Don't wait any longer for someone else to take care of this matter, you are all either victims or witnesses to his abominable behavior. He is going to grow up and rape and kill someone, maybe small children. Complain about him now so he can get the help he needs. Also, people like him prey on people who are weaker, smaller, and unable to defend themselves. If you all stand up against him, you will scare him off. He does not know how to deal with people who show a unified front of strength against him. Don't wait until one of your friends is hurt by him. If you ALL GO TOGETHER, the school and the police have to do something. A parent should be with you also, that would help. I know that if one of you were my daughter, I would be down at the police station and at the school complaining about this individual. I went through this when I was young, I know exactly what you mean.
I hope you follow through Stay strong, and stay together
Michele
Michele
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What does your metabolism have to do the time you go to bed? Do you have a faster met. if you stay up later, or go to bed early (link)
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Well all the hours you are up, you are buring more calories that when you are sleeping. But for your body to work efficiently, you need enough sleep. If you are young and still growing, you need more sleep. Young people naturally have a fast metabolism. It is more efficient that adults. You metabolism rate is how fast your body uses up the calories in the food you eat. The only thing that speeds up your metabolism is exercist. More lean muscle than fat on your body will give you a higher metabolism. If you are overweight, you have to get more exercis to speed up your metablism, build muscle and burn fat.
Michele
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I got a 136 on my iq test. is that good? (link)
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That is excellent. I think Einstein's IQ was around 160. 136 is very good. There is a web site you can go to and take an IQ test, actually there are a lot of them. www.tickle.com is just one. Go to college, don't waste that awesome brain you have.
Michele
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My father will be going into a home soon, the cost is £500 per week. He has savings of approx. £50,000. I have been told that until his savings come down to £20,000 he will not get any help. Legally were does he stand with regards to giving away his money now to his three children, so that his savings come down to £20,000. Also, the possibility of him placing his money in off-shore accounts. (link)
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HI honey,
You are obviously in England, and I don't know what the laws are there. They are totally different then they are here. In this country, people anticipate this, and they give their money to their kids at least 5 years before they might go into a nursing home. AT this point, if my father were READY to go into a home because he needed roung the clock nursing care, and he still had 50,000 dollars (pounds) it would be too late. He would not be abel to give his children any of it. Also in this country you can gift money to your children in the amount of $11,000 dollars per year, and no tax coming due by the chidren or the parent, but again, I think it is too late.
He may very well have to sign over his money before the home will even take him. I don't know if they can investigate is finances anyway, but may if you turn down that home that you have in mind now. Take some money out of the bank, then apply to a new and different home with just 20,000 in the bank, maybe that will work there in england, but not here in this country, or this state, I should say, Connecticut because the state has the right to go back and look at his banking records, and if large sums of money came out recently they can sue you for it. Same goes with real estate. So good luck.
Michele
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i have a mole on my cheek but i want to get it removed... this week im going to but i have to make up my mind first if i want to.. should i get it removed or leave it?! they said there wont be any scarring... so?? please help!! (link)
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It should be just fine. I assume that you are going to a plastic surgeon. And it is not likely that it will leave a scar. Even a good dermatologist will do a good job of removing it. There will be a mark at first, so don't panic, and follow his/her after care instructions, and you will be fine. You will be glad that you did in it the future. Also it has the possibility of turning into cancer from exposure to the sun. So it is very important to have it removed; Also remember this. The skin doctor is under pressure to do a good job because if he/she leaves a scar, especially on your face, you could sue him/her. Tell the doctor that you are a little nervous, and ask him/her how many others they have done, and do they have before and after pictures.
Michele
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i like this guy things got hot but then he whispered in my ear no kissing does it mean that he doesnt want to kiss me or was he just teasing me (link)
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Well there could be a number of reasons why. And when you say got hot, do you just mean heavy making out, or actually sexual intercourse. If it is just heavy making out, And how can you do that without kissing?!?!?!? He could mean that kissing would lead him to want more than just cuddling with you. And he didn' want to take advantage of you. He himself may not be ready to go all the way with you. He wanted things to cool down. YOu do know (I hope) that boys get aroused when they are making out, or kissing, or when things get hot. And then their desires take over, and they usually don't think straight and all then want to do is complete the act. It is hard to stop, once they have started, and kissing can start it. But REMEMBER, no matter how "hot" things get between you. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to say NO whenever you want. By the same token it is not a good idea to bring guys to that level and say no. So unless you are SURE that you are READY and you have BOTH taken precautions agains pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, then ....
However, if you are having sex, and he doesn't want to kiss you well, that just sounds really demeaning to me. If he doesn't want to kiss you, could he be afraid that he'll catch a disease if he kisses you. Could he think (even though it is stupid) that kissing would be cheating, but everything else is not (this is incase he has a girlfriend) Or do one or both of you have braces, or bad breath? Silly I know. But it is a thought. He also may think that he is a lousy kisser and that you'll judge him on that. Well these are just a few of the possibilities. Hope this helps.
Michele
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My friend's family invited me to go to Florida with them this summer. It was rude to say no and they kept insisting, so of course, I agreed.
The problem is that my friend is getting so annoying and mean to me. She always yells at me and makes me feel very insecure and low. I am going to be with her 24/7 for 3 weeks! I don't know what to do now because her family already payed for the tickets and I can't get out of it. She always makes me cry..her family always yells at me and laughs at me behind my back. What can I do to prevent this or prevent myelf from crying? Thanks for answering. (link)
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Your friend sounds like a brat and so do her parents. I think they don't like her rude behavior either, so they want you along so they can stick her with you. Even though they yell at you and laught at you behind your back, you must be a very nice person or they wouldn't ask you. They knew that you would be too polite to refuse. They are taking advantage of you. But like you said, you can't get out of it. Here is what adults do in situations like this, and this situation calls for some adult behavior, and you may be the only one. SO you have to rely on yourself. And start now, so that things will be changed for the better for the trip starts.
When your friend is mean to you say,( and ALWAYS USE "I" sentences) I would not talk to a person that way, or to my friend that way. That would hurt their feelings and then they might not be my friend anymore. And she'll respond with, That wasn't mean. or I wasn't being mean. And you say, well, it hurt my feelings, and so I thought it was mean. And she may never take responsibility for it, but I'll bet she will stop. When people have "light" shined on their bad behavior. it usually stops. BY that I mean, when you call them on their bad behavior. Bring it out into the open and make them look at it for what it is, even if they don't agree, deep inside, they know it is true, and they stop. The problem is that people who are nice and polite like you and me, don't speak up enough for ourselves. And it is important that YOU be NICE about calling attention to their bad behavior. Don't copy them by being mean back, that solves nothing. Try this before you go away, and see if their behavior doesn't change for the better, and then maybe you will have a nice trip. I hope ths helps. Write again if you have more questions.
Michele
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I was wondering how colleges work..like after high school, wat do you do? How do you search for colleges? How do you find information about them? How are the classes scheduled? How many hours do you do a day? After those 4 years of college, what do you get..a bachelor's degree? What's that? (As you can tell, I am totally clueless so I need some answers) What's grad school? What do you do after grad school? I need tons of info to fill up these many questions. Thanks (link)
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Well I am glad that you are asking. Everyone who wants to have a great life with enough money to cover expenses, food, clothing shelter, and FUN, needs a college education. I go myself, even though I am in my 50's, and my oldest son in enrolled in college. First I can tell you that college is fun. In college they expect you to act like an adult. And surprise, most kids do. You choose your classes and usually you choose four classes per semester and there are usually 2 semesters per year. There are summer classes however, and some students choose summer classes also so they can finish college sooner. College can be expense or affordable, depending on which college you choose. STate colleges, are usually the most inexpensive four year colleges, for state residents. Community Colleges are the least expensive, and most of them offer 2 year or associates degree programs. Four year colleges or universities (very expensive) offer four year degrees, Bachelor of Arts, or Bachelor of Science. Graduate school comes afer you have completed a four year college. And that is usually 2 years. For example if you want to be a lawyer, you would have to go to a four year college, then on to graduate school (a school of law, with intense study of the law) for two years, then take the BAR EXAM, and if you pass, you can be a lawyer in that state. YOu can be a teacher with four years of college. To be a doctor, you have to go to four years of college, then graduate school(MEDICAL SCHOOL) for 2 years, then internship and school for I think two years, then you are a doctor. So it all depends on what you think you want to have a career doing when you are an adult. But you don't have to know right away. You can go to college and decide later.
College classes are very informal. If you take a full schedule one semester. You would choose four classes, and most likely those classes will meet 2 or three times a week each. Plus you get homework in each class. Classes can run fom 8 in the morning to 8 at night. You get a list of all the classes offered, and the professors teaching them, and the times scheduled and you choose the ones you want. Most colleges understand that Freshman are overwhelmed by their first experience of being in college so there are lots of advisors to help you. You will have to meet with an advisor they will help you decide on a major subject then help you choose classes.
Which college to go to. Well depends on lots of things. What you want to do for a career, where you want to live, home or on campus and how much money you have. Oh, and your grades. YOu have to have very good grades and high SAT scores to get into IVY LEAGUE University's like Princeton, Yale, Brown, HArvard, etc But if you were planning on that, you and your parents would have been working on this many years ago, so I imagine that you won't be applying there. If you want to go away to a private college you will have to have good grades and high SAT scores. If you want to go to a local state college, then usually your grades can be average, and your SAT scores AVERAGE, and it is more affordable. It is even more affordable for you and your family if you live at home and commute to collge(that is what my son does.) We applied for financial aid, and that pays for about 2/3rds of his collge, (I am a single mom, that helped) The rest he gets in student loans, which he does not have to start to pay back until he is graduated from college and working, or 6 months after graduations, which ever comes first. Financial aid can help pay for books also, and food on campus. YOu can get a job at the college to help pay for college. My son works at the college radio station, and he has a great time, he even has his own radio show.
College is NOTHING LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. No one is petty, no one is bitchy. It does not matter what you wear, or how you look, everyone is intellegent and realizes that all that stuff is childish. It is wonderful. YOu will make friendships in college that will last a life time.
If you like fashion, there are fashion colleges, if you like acting, drama, there are drama colleges, if you like music, there are music colleges, if you like cooking, there are cooking colleges, if you like computers, there are computer colleges, computer graphics...there are colleges for that marketing, film making, horticulture, farming/ And there is more than one college that offers classess in these areas.
Here are some areas, that I KNOW are lacking in employees and that I am pretty sure, the jobs won't be going overseas some day.
Pharmacy or just about anything in the medical field.
Culinary
Computer graphics, you know those guys/gals that make the animated movies like Toy Story, or Lion King, or Any of the Star Wars series, Those guys make a LOT LOT LOT of money. They are in demand.
Construction Management. Great college in Boston, Wentworth Technological Institute.(www.wit.edu) That field is supposed to explode in the future because of our aging infrastructure. Bridges, Buildings, Cities, Malls, etc.
Environmental Degrees, people with environmental degrees will be in demand all over the world. They are now. Agriculture, too. I you learn foreign languages, some people are good at it. You can be in demand all over the world. Work for a World Organization like the UN or the Food and Agriculture Organization, travel and see the world.
How do you find out about collges, well they ALL have web pages, but I think you should start with the guidance counselor at high school. The sooner you start the better. And apply for scholarships. They have those applications at the high school also.
You can go on this site called www.fastweb.com
and register there. IT IS ALL FREE. You can search for scholarships, and search on colleges, and when you register, if you know your field of study, or think you do, put that in, Colleges may find you! You should never have to pay to have help to find colleges or find scholarships, so be careful because some web sites will charge you to search for you. YOu can do all the work on line. when you are ready to apply to colleges, you can apply to more than one, and maybe get accepted at more than one, so you choose the one that gives you the best package. Financial Aid and scholarships, and work study, etc, etc. If you are an athlete, well there are athletic scholarships at most colleges for anything from ping pong to football, basket ball, soft ball, lacrosse, rowing. equestrian, etc, etc, etc,
You should start looking at colleges in your Junior Year of High School, but it is NEVER to late to decide to go to college. If taking the SAT's scares you, you can always try a community college for the first two years then transfer your credits to a four year college later, and the SAT's won't matter, neither will your highschool grades. There are some professions that are so desperate for workers that you can almost go to college for nothing such as pharmacists. This country has a great shortage of pharmacists. You have to be good a chemistry to be a pharmacists. I think they start around $50.00 an hour. I hope this all helps. If you have more questions, please feel free to leave a question in my in box. I hope you do persue this. It is the best way to have a good life, by starting with a high school, then college eduation. Good Luck.
Michele
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It's Lauren again I'm sorry to keep bothering you. My friend still hasn't called or been found there are no signs that she's even still alive. Everyone has stopped looking they said that she's probably either dead or there's no saving her. I don't want to give up on her but I don't know what else to do. Until she calls me or finds way of contacting I won't be sure but that's the only way I'll know if she's alive or not. Is there at least a way I can get her parents into some kind of trouble for what they did to her? I know that she may never find out about it but it would help me at least to know that the people that caused her all this pain paid for it. Thank you so much for all of your help it is much appreciated.
Lauren (link)
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Well I think you should contact a lawyer about that. A lawyer who is a child advocate. BUt I am not sure that they can help unless Sam initiates it, herself, but you can inquire. You should be abel to get a consultation with a lawyer for free. And don't let the foster care people off the hook. They do a lousy job nationwide, taking care of kids. Kids go missing all the time, who are in foster care. If Sam is still a minor, then someone really messed up. But I am not sure what good it will all do. But at least you'll get some information, and then when Sam turns up, maybe she can sue with your support. I don't think Sam is dead, her body would have turned up. It is very easy for kids to get lost if they want to. Do you think she may have gone to one of the covenant house locations? There is one in Washinton DC. You are in Maryland, I think that would be the closest.
Dear Lauren, I don't know what kinds of person Sam is or will be because of the horrible conditions that she has been raised in, but she must have been very nice for you to be such a strong supporter. YOu saved her from one Hell, you did the right thing. I still think that she will turn up. And you will get a chance to see your friend again. And with you on her side, I think she had a good chance of growing up OK, but with a few scars on her emotions, but there a many of us walking around like that. I continue to pray for the both of you.
Michele
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