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I'm Max.Want an honest answer to the burning questions that keep you up all night?
You've come to the right advice column.
advice
16/f
the period that i'm on right now has been really weird. for maybe a week before, i had a brown discharge come out a few times. almost like brown spotting. it was kinda goopy, and just smelled like my inside. i started my period late sunday afternoon, maybe around 6 or so. i put a tampon in, and that night i changed it at midnight. i noticed that i didnt bleed barley any. it looked like two little spots on the tampon. i didnt think much about it. i changed it at midnight, and woke up around noon, i changed it at about 5, and it didnt bleed that much either. it looked, again, just like 3 little spots on the tampon. i usually bleed alot more, and need to change the tampon maybe like..every 3 or 4 hours or so, because i usually have a heavy flow. is something wrong? ( i'm on the pill, btw)
Birth control pills can cause your periods to be much lighter. There isn't a need to have your period while on the pill, so most pills will stop your period altogether.
Birth control can also cause spotting, like what you're describing with the brown discharge.
Ask your doctor about what you should be expecting flow-wise with the particular birth control that you're using. He/she can tell you better than I can if what you're experiencing is normal.
I feel like all my friends are boys...because they basically are. I do have some girl friends, but 90% of the time I'm just texting a bunch of guys, and I'll hang with only guys alot. I'm a girl, and I am pretty and blonde and guys tend to like me alot. I've been told guys just want to get in my pants, but alot of them seem to be great friends to me.
My problem is that at social events, guys seem to HAVE to be with guys, and girls seems to HAVE to be with girls in one big clump. I feel left out there because I'm not friends with too many girls, and i can't be with my guys because they are with all the other guys.
All the girls like me, were friendly and all, but i really dont have anything to talk to them about. but i just hate feeling left out.
I'm not really sure what to do, because girls are tough to become friends with.
Any advice?
Lots of unnecessary social pressures are put on boys and girls to act and look a certain way.
You don't HAVE to be friends with more girls than boys, contrary to what most girls will tell you.
If you're happy that 90% of your friends are boys, then that's awesome. Nobody can tell you who you have to be friends with.
However, if you feel like you'd be happier with a couple more female friends, then by all means go make some female friends.
Talk to girls more. Even if you have nothing in common, that doesn't mean you can't be friends. My best friends and I are total opposites; it keeps things interesting. I can get another point of view on something, or see an issue in a different light. Having nothing to talk about doesn't necessarily mean having nothing in common.
Girls will appreciate that you're friendly and making an effort to talk to them more.
Don't wait for them to make the first move.
Arrange for some girls to meet you at a movie that you think you'd all enjoy or go to the mall. Whatever you think would be enjoyable.
You can introduce them to your male friends and hang out with them at the same time, to lessen the awkwardness in an environment you're already comfortable in. Girls and boys don't have to hang out separately. If you'd like to hang out with girls more, just start doing it. Invite them places, drop hints that you're dying to see a particular concert/movie, etc.
Hi I'm Jay and I'm from the Philippines. I'm 18yrs old and bisexual. In our culture this is frowned upon so I'm scared to tell my friends and family. I'm worried that they will not accept my sexuality.I also find it hard to be in a relationship because I always feel unsatisfied. I'm female and a college sophomore
Coming out is scary.
Test the waters before you tell your friends and family.
Bring up a news story or a current event about homosexuality, and find out where your family stands. Ask them what they think of bisexuals before you tell them.
Don't use your sexuality as a weapon during an argument. Tell your family and friends once you're sure they're accepting of bisexuals and when they are relaxed and in a good mood.
If you depend on your family for financial support or if you live with them, you want to be extra sure they'll accept you before you tell them. If you're afraid they might hurt you, stop helping you pay for college or kick you out of your house, wait until you have a safe place to go and a back up plan before you tell them.
If you live by yourself and are financially stable enough to pay for college and everything else you need, go ahead and tell them.
It may take time, but your family will eventually accept you. Your sexuality is only a little piece of who you are.
I have this friend who i used to be best best best friends with. now we barley talk and i dont know why. I always ask her to hang out, i give her tons of space, and she says she always cant hang because she has tennis. Thing is, she never trys to talk to me (i always have to start the convo), and she keeps making time for other people, who arnt even her friends. She used to complain about these people all the time to me, saaying that they are blowing her off because they got "better offers". Yet she never does anything about it...and still chooses to hang with them over me it seems...
I dont know what to do. I'm going with her to a concert in a few weeks, but we rarly talk(since i decided to stop trying). This has happened to us before, but she always seems to come running back to being my best best friend after like a week. But this is summer, and its been way longer than a week.
I really want to confront her, and talk about it. But shes not understanding and will be unreasonable. She always thinks she is right, and may not apologize.
So I'm not sure what to do.
Any advice?
It hurts, but most friends eventually grow apart.
I know in high school, I felt like my best friend was more immature than I was and that he was embarrassing me when he was around.
Needless to say, we didn't hang out as much.
I'm not saying this girl is embarrassed by you or that she thinks she's better/more mature than you.
I'm saying she's growing in a different direction than you are, which is a normal part of life.
People change over time, and you can't change them yourself. You can accept her and enjoy spending time with her, but the acceptance might not be mutual. She could be going through a rough patch, like a death in the family or a disease.
Don't jump to conclusions. My advice is to go to the concert with her and have a good time. Relax.
If you're wondering why you don't hang out as much, she'll sense your anxiety and she'll feel nervous, too.
You can bring up the subject casually, but don't accuse her of anything or get confrontational. Don't expect an apology, either. If she brushes it off, you brush it off too.
In the meantime, don't focus on the one friend that could have been. Hang out with different people and talk to the people you normally wouldn't. Expand your social network just in case this girl doesn't appreciate your friendship anymore. I guarantee you if you look hard enough, you'll find someone who will appreciate you.
I gave my boyfriend head for the first time almost 3 weeks ago and every single time we get together he wants me to do it again. He will whine and beg and even do the pout face about it and make me feel really guilty. We haven't had sex yet but this is really bugging me. How do I just tell him no but that I do love him or that I want to hang out without doing this to him every time? I just want a real relationship and not be used for sex. I wish I never did this! :(
Truth is, he's not looking for a romantic relationship.
He just wants sex.
Don't feel guilty for respecting your body and feelings by telling him no.
My advice is to break up with him, since he's very obviously using you for sex.
I know you don't want to hear that, but the truth is that this guy doesn't care about you. Just sex.
Most guys are like this, but some have the decency to listen to their girlfriend/boyfriend's feelings.
Don't do anything you don't want to. It's your body. Not his.
This guy asked me out last week and I didn't really know what to say. I DO want to go out with him but does that mean I should say, "YES," or what? I don't want to sound stupid or like a total dork when it comes to this. I fumbled around until we just laughed it off and I think I gave him the wrong impression because he hasn't called since. The next time something like this happens and a guy says, "Hey, you want to go out this weekend or some time?" what do I say back?!
Say "sure", or "ok" if you don't want to sound robotic. You can say "that sounds nice" or "I'd like that".
You don't have to say just "yes" or "no".
I've known this girl (Kylie) since I was a kid. She's nice and we're pretty close and I would have said we were best friends until a few days ago. The other day we were talking to our other group of friends about being best friends and asking who was their best friend in the group. I know, odd discussion probably. Anyways, Kylie says she use to be bestfriends with this other girl from another school but isn't any more because she went around her school bragging to people that she fingered Kylie when they had sleepovers. Kylie is like, "That's what best friends do though! OMG!" and went on about how the other girl was being cold and cruel and how it totally made her not want to be friends with the girl anymore.
Nobody in the group seemed to be freaked out about it. I know two girls in the group made out before but I never thought about this sort of thing happening because we're ALL straight. Is this normal? For best friends to finger each other? I've never done this...am I weird, missing something, or...? :\
Straight or not, that's weird.
Intimate things like that should only be done with a trusted romantic partner. Just because the other girls weren't freaked out doesn't mean it's not weird.
After my boyfriend and i broke up, i was really upset so i starting talking to another guy to make him jealous, but then i realized i wanted my boyfriend back. So I went to try to fix things with him, but he was really hurt about what i did, ad said he couldnt trust me after it. But we both love eachother so we want to make things work. But he said that i needed to figure out a way to make him forget about what happened after the break up and make him forgive me....what should i do to earn his trust and forgiveness?
You can't earn trust and forgiveness back right away. It took you long to earn it at first, and now it's going to take even longer for you to win it back.
You have to prove to him you won't hurt him again by not hurting him anymore. You can't make him forget whatever you did or make him forgive you.
If he wants to, he needs to do that on his own.
I have been with my boyfriend around 2 months now, we were friends for about 5 months before that. I always thought he was attractive etc but I didn't know he liked me and vice versa. He is the sweetest guy ever and he totally understands me. He says he can imagine us being together forever, and I am not naive but I feel it too. He's like the other half of me, any way the problem is the first few weeks we started dating I got butterflies around him; but I don't anymore. I haven't any less feelings for him - if anything my feelings have grown so much more. With my previous boyfriend I always got butterflies, but I think it's because I liked him more than he liked me. Do you think it's anything to think about or do you think it's normal? My friend said it's just because I am so comfortable around him and I never was with my previous boyfriend.
The first couple of weeks of a relationship are usually the most fun. After a while, the chemistry can fade.
Maybe your boyfriend is being too predictable or too "nice".
I know from experience that girls find guys like this boring.
Butterflies in the stomach come from being in an exciting relationship. That's why girls sometimes find jerks and "bad boys" attractive. They're exciting to them.
It sounds like the excitement is gone in your relationship.
My brother has a good friend and she is dating a boy that is very out going, so I hear and is a lot of fun. But every time I'm around, he doesn't show affection for his girlfriend, he hardly speaks, when my brother, my brother's girlfriend and this boy's girlfriend say goodbye because they are going somewhere he doesn't say anything to me. I'm a nice person, I wouldn't be mean to him. Why do you think he's like this, only around me?
That's just the way he is. He probably doesn't feel like he knows you well enough to open up. It's nothing personal. It takes some people longer to warm up to other people.
My boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past week. I let him cum inside me every time because of something he told me before. I mentioned this to my friend and she told me that he lied.
If you pee right after you have sex can you still get pregnant? My boyfriend told me that a girl who pees directly after intercourse can NOT get pregnant no matter what because everything is released into the toilet then and is like washed away. It sounded very convincing when he said it but when I was telling my friend it kind of sounded like he was just using me and that I'm stupid. What's the truth?
You can absolutely get pregnant if you urinate after sex.
Urinating will not flush out any sperm that is in the vagina, because the vagina and the urethra, where the urine comes from, are two different things.
Google female anatomy so you can see what I'm talking about.
17/f.
i've been talking to my ex (from middle school) lately. Now, its totally different..which is gooD! It's not an akward relationship from the 6th grade anymore haha, we actually talk. Unfortunately, the other night he texted me saying "sorry i'm under the influence CANT TALK.ttyl" and it pissed me off because i hate when people drunk text and ..idk. i haven't had a good experience with people texting me drunnk. ANYWAYS, the next day he texted me saying guesswhat. and i was like oh are you hungover. he got pissed and since friday we've been akward.
Two days ago i texted him , saying hi and asking how he was. it was so akward!! i want to talk to him, i miss him. but...i don't want to bother him or whatever. should i wait for him to text me?
i feel like he doesn't care...so why bother.
If he wants to text you, he will. Give him a week before you give up.
I'm an indirect victim of racism. People (or few guys, always GUYS) in my class are always making jokes regarding to my race and it's really hurtful and they act as if I'm/we're not even in the same room as them! And some people laugh as well!
I understand that some people are kinda ify about it and they laugh kind of as a defense system but if they feel that it's wrong, they should at least not laugh!
I want to just tell them/him off; I fele anger radiating throughout my body. But I don't know why, tears just seem so come out as my first adrenaline reaction or something so I can't expect to say stop with tears! What can I do?
First off, those guys need to stop. Unless the teacher's in on it, let the teacher know what's going on so he/she can look out for it and take disciplinary action.
I know what it's like to be so angry that involuntary tears suddenly come rushing out like crazy. If you think you can push down your anger for long enough to tell them off, go for it. You can even tell them off and add a little humor to it.
If you tell them off in a funny way, more people will be on your side of the argument and realize that you're a better person than these jerks. You know the saying don't fight fire with fire? It's absolutely true in this case. Don't react seriously at first. Just crack a joke, but a joke that at the same time lets him know at the same time that what he's saying isn't going to fly.
It's a shame people are so ignorant and discriminate based on race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. It sucks, but unfortunately in our time, it's life.
this question is for parents on AdCens...
i am in my mid 20s/f.... i've been through hell with my family...
i've witnessed things happen to people my parents and siblings over short and long periods of time: injustice, wrongful incarceration, rape, violence, threats, mental breakdowns (anorexia, bipolar, ADD, depression, suicidal bouts...etc) I've witnessed lying, hate, love, breakups and makeups, humiliation, hostility, prosperity and bankruptcy, deaths and births.... i moved countries so many times i don't know what home is...
if i were superstitious i would have believed that my family is cursed.... but i am not... it's just the nature of my parents jobs and the "high maintenance" backgrounds they come from
some people say that it is moments like these that bring families together... but i say these are the moments that test our bond leaving each individual broken for life....
i know i am not the only one suffering the repercussions of all these events. each of them is dealing with it their own way... that said i don't think my family is strong enough to be a source of support... So i am asking parents on advicenators to give me some advice...
i don't know what exactly my problem except that i am going through a sort of identity crisis... i don't feel i belong and i feel completely isolated from the world in my experiences no matter how much i reach out and try to connect. I don't know what what i want to do with my life... or should i say i don't their is anything worthwhile to do... relationships of any kind start intensely fade over time and die completely with distance... some faster or slower than others.... i feel lost and different and despite the bonding circumstances in our lives i know my parents will never accept who i am in that sense... they hold on to something very unfamiliar to me that i think belongs to their past. an image of stability in terms of traditions and expectations... i just feel i can never adopt that and it can never satisfy all the questions and confusion.... what is so unsettling about wanting to be a drifter? to take it as it comes... i don't want to plan... i don't even think i know how to! i just don't know how to tell them this without them accusing me of being too "philosophical"...
Don't worry. I don't think you'll be accused of being philosophical.
Everyone goes through things in life. Everyone.
You've got these beliefs that eventually all your relationships deteriorate, that you don't belong anywhere, etc.
Sometimes if you really believe something, it becomes true.
You're really vague with this question. I suggest you find a therapist to discuss your emotions with in detail.
Let's start with where you said there's nothing worthwhile that you could do the rest of your life. Become a nurse, a veterinarian, a teacher. Do something selfless, and not selfish. Help people.
Set some goals. Look deep within yourself and ask yourself what you're missing in life. A steady job? A sense of fulfillment? Go to college. Get a degree. Do something that will help others. Helping others will bring you a sense of fulfillment and will make you feel needed. It's hard to not be happy when you're bringing joy to others.
hi so my boyfriend and I want to get matching tattoos like this
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2qknx8w&s=3
but we don't want to get those same words. sooo any ideas on love quotes that repeat like that that we could use?
please and thankyou (:
Boyfriend? I would wait until I was at least married before I got a matching tattoo that would haunt me for the rest of my life. But it's your call.
How about "love is blind"?
If you just Googled "love quotes", you'd have endless quotes to choose from. I don't know you, or your boyfriend. You'd know better than anyone on this site what quote means something to both of you.
That tattoo is pretty simple. Anything that repeats would fit fine. You could put I'll love you forever on each of your wrists.
It would be even more meaningful if you wrote the words together.
I'll keep it short. Im a girl, I have a crush on a girl. Big deal, get over it. It's just a little thing, but its getting to be more to the point where I always think about her. Some chick (that hates me to death) found out about it, and she'll probably tell her. But maybe not. Im not sure. But the thing of it is, I really really like her. Shes beautiful, and shes so sweet and shes nice to everyone. If she found out, I dont know what I'd do, or what she'd do. I dont want her to think of me any differently. I dont want to say its a rumor cuz its not. I cant lie about it, I'd feel guilty. If I tell the truth, she may never talk to me again. I dont know what to do.
It's best this girl hears how you feel from you.
Tell her in person. Don't write a note or email, etc. That can come back to haunt you later.
Tell her when she's not around her friends and when you're not putting her on the spot or in an awkward situation. Be honest if she asks you first, or if anyone else asks.
She's going to find out now anyway, from this other girl. You have to tell her first.
There's a chance she already knows. Girls can pick up on that stuff.
Be prepared to hear that she doesn't feel the same. There's a chance she's gay or bi, but if she's straight you've got to accept and respect that.
Even if she's gay or bi, she still may not feel the same as you do. You have to be prepared to hear that, too.
Life is FULL of rejection. It hurts less with time.
Good luck. I really hope this works out for you (no sarcasm).
Hey I'm a fifteen year old girl and my ex is a sixteen year old boy. Since we've broke up, he's always said he wants to try and be friends. But for the two months of being apart its been really hard. I still hurt when I see him, especially when he's around other girls. I don't want him back, I just feel hurt. But I've been a good girl, left him alone, tried to just get over it because I know our relationship was unhealthy and I'm never going back. He texted me though, outta nowhere and said "I don't know if I can be friends with you if your friends are such bitches" and I told him "they just don't like you because they've seen how much you've hurt me..." but then he said "well I don't know if I can deal with being friends with you either. I mean, when we were dating the only time I felt like I liked you was when we were hooking up..." and I mean, I knew that was true but he'd never actually said it before and so I exploded on him. I said lots of mean things and he did too but needless to say we didn't end up on a good note... Now I don't know what to do... I don't want things to stay this bad but I also don't wanna deal with him. He's not gonna apologize, and I'm tired of being the one always going back to him and saying sorry. I just... don't know what I'm supposed to do... Please help!
Don't hang out with him.
Get rid of his phone number and stop calling/texting him.
Your feelings will go away when you can keep your distance. This guy sounds like a douche bag. You don't need to "be friends". The idea that exes need to be friends is not a good one. It's best to move on, since you should never be friends with some one you have feelings for.
Especially not someone who you have feelings for AND who hurt you.
You don't need to apologize for anything, and you can't force him to either.
Stop "always going back" to apologize. You have every right to be mad at this guy. Just keep your distance and ignore him.
But don't go out of your way to be mean, either.
It's perfectly fine to end a bad relationship on a bad note.
i want to makeout with a girl but idk how>plzz help?
Don't listen to the guy below me. Asking if you can kiss a girl is the WORST thing you can ever do. Ever.
It's a HUGE turn off.
Don't ask. Just read the signals she's giving you to see if it's the right moment to kiss her.
Never kiss an unwilling girl. If she turns her cheek or pushes you away, STOP.
I'm not really sure if you're asking how to find a girl to make out with or for technique. It'd be awesome if you could clarify.
im so tired of being the girl people call the slut.
im not. im 14/f and have only been out with two guys.
i dont dress slutty nor do i act it, im quite hippy so often im maxy dresses. i dont swear and even a virgin, i dont get why people call me a slut.
i hang out with alot of guys but thats only cause the girls do the same thing every lunch.
what can i do to make people see im not who they think i am, i have a brain and am quite reserved.
can you please not say hanging out with the girls more, because i was bullied by them last year and dont really want to start it again. thanks
Hang out with whoever you want to.
People will say what they will. It'll only get worse when they realize they can change your behavior by teasing you.
The bullying will stop when you make them think they aren't upsetting you. Ever wonder why some people get bullied and some people don't? It's because the bullies know they can't bother some people and that they would only make themselves look stupid to try.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but ignore what other people call you. I was a skinny, nerdy kid, sucked at sports, and always got beat up and called a faggot. I started working out and not letting the guys that bullied me see that they were bothering me. Worked like magic. I realized they only bullied me because I LET them.
Bullies always go for the weaker, less assertive kids. Once I got some self respect and confidence, they lost interest.
Be yourself. I know it bothers you that you're called a slut, but if you want it to stop, you've just got to ignore it. Those girls will look like morons teasing you to no avail.
okay i dont think this is normal.
14/f
i hang out with the guy group at school (only girl in the group) im not a tomboy and not princessy blonde either. i wear glasses and am over weight slightly so i dont get why each guy in the group has liked me or is liking me. im not just asuming this they told me.
i know you may say its just personality but it happens everywere any guy i talk to for a period of time falls for me. and for some reason im never interested.
the thing i find odd is they have all liked me but none of them were game enough to ask me out due to my ex. so what should i do?
and i feel like im playing them all. i flirt, but only cause its natural for me i dont intend on doing this, how can i stop flirting and still be me?
Be conscious of your flirting. Pay attention to how you communicate with these guys and you'll see what you need to stop doing, to avoid leading them on.
Do you touch them excessively? Things like that.
You're not changing who you are by keeping your excessive flirting under control. You'll still be "you". Just less flirtatious.