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shes such a bad friend to me...
I have this friend who i used to be best best best friends with. now we barley talk and i dont know why. I always ask her to hang out, i give her tons of space, and she says she always cant hang because she has tennis. Thing is, she never trys to talk to me (i always have to start the convo), and she keeps making time for other people, who arnt even her friends. She used to complain about these people all the time to me, saaying that they are blowing her off because they got "better offers". Yet she never does anything about it...and still chooses to hang with them over me it seems...
I dont know what to do. I'm going with her to a concert in a few weeks, but we rarly talk(since i decided to stop trying). This has happened to us before, but she always seems to come running back to being my best best friend after like a week. But this is summer, and its been way longer than a week.
I really want to confront her, and talk about it. But shes not understanding and will be unreasonable. She always thinks she is right, and may not apologize.
So I'm not sure what to do.
Any advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It hurts, but most friends eventually grow apart.
I know in high school, I felt like my best friend was more immature than I was and that he was embarrassing me when he was around.
Needless to say, we didn't hang out as much.
I'm not saying this girl is embarrassed by you or that she thinks she's better/more mature than you.
I'm saying she's growing in a different direction than you are, which is a normal part of life.
People change over time, and you can't change them yourself. You can accept her and enjoy spending time with her, but the acceptance might not be mutual. She could be going through a rough patch, like a death in the family or a disease.
Don't jump to conclusions. My advice is to go to the concert with her and have a good time. Relax.
If you're wondering why you don't hang out as much, she'll sense your anxiety and she'll feel nervous, too.
You can bring up the subject casually, but don't accuse her of anything or get confrontational. Don't expect an apology, either. If she brushes it off, you brush it off too.
In the meantime, don't focus on the one friend that could have been. Hang out with different people and talk to the people you normally wouldn't. Expand your social network just in case this girl doesn't appreciate your friendship anymore. I guarantee you if you look hard enough, you'll find someone who will appreciate you.
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Well, from what you've written, it seems like you've tried talking to her face-to-face, right?
Don't jump ahead of the gun by saying she will be unreasonable. I mean, she might be unreasonable - but she also might not. Do you know if anything has been going on in her family or personal life that might be contributing to her behavior?
Overall, I think you two should sit down and talk about it. If that's not possible, then I'd write an e-mail expressing how you feel. However, make sure that when you write something, you do so in a non-confrontational kind of way. At this point, it seems you don't know what the problem is; therefore, you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot by being angry in your letter when you're only trying to find out what's up with her.
Remember, you can't expect an apology from someone who doesn't know what they should apologize for. That's where you come in.
Best of luck!
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