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about
HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D
advice
Hi my name is Abby. I am a senior in high school at age 17 yrs. and my best buddy is one age older than me and at the same grade level. I have known her for about 3 years and during time we have become close friends,even with each other's family.When she needs help I am there just like any good friend and I know it's the same for her, but lately she has been acting weird. She asked my little cousins if they can record by camera, what we were about to do?And out of nowhere she kissed me, but I remember that she's been wanting to do that but just for "fun"in front of people. I really got freaked out, because she has a boyfriend,I'm a girl, and I'm into guys.Then she grabs me and then laughs about it like if I enjoy "playing" like that. Then after a week later we hang out again and we went to the park with my cousin's. I imagine she likes kids,because she's always playing around with them. I see her coming towards me and sits on top of me,when I was sitting on the grass. She begans to slap me,bitting my neck, and than when my cousins were pushing her to get off. She suddenly kissed me a couple of times and then she puts her tongue on my mouth and that was disturbing. One of our friends came by and did it the same thing again and this time I bite her tongue as a sign to "quite it"!Then later that day she turn on the water hose and it was on my side,so I got wet.When I was just sitting on the grass.I got so mad, but I didn't do anything,so I kept it all inside.Then,her brother made it worse he got a bucket and wet me on purpose calling me a "whore"! I got so angry and I started beating him up!She pushed me and slapped me.I didn't want to hit her, because I care for her alot and we always treat each other like if we were sisters, and I ended up crying.She is very exposing to our friends of her body and she enjoys torturing me by touching me,kissing me,and then getting mad about the dumbest things.I know I don't have the blame for her actions and it's not the first time, either! I always feel bad when,we get in a fight,because of her and I end up apologizing. Once I got really mad and she asked me for forgiveness, but the thing is that it's always the same thing! I don't understand her actions and one day she asked me about "us"and I need to wait for the right time for her to tell me, but then she said she was jocking! I don't really get her? Sometimes I think that she might be Bi sexual or she just has "to much" fun, or maybe it might be the Bi polar thing...yeah I think I should of put that on the beginning, but I don't thing that's the reason though,I mean she takes medication or is it?I really don't know what to do at this stage? I'm a bit confuse and I really need advise from someone that can help me? If this is a bit to long I apologize!
Hmm... so she does take medication? I don't know if it's a mental illness.. because at 17 or 18 years old, being wild and "playing" around is normal and what you do. If she is physically or emotionally HURTING you, that's when the friendship needs to be put into check and is in trouble. She could be bi-sexual or a lesbian, because she is kissing you alot and the biting and hitting is alot of aggression she has built inside. She could be really angry at herself for being attracted to girls, and she might be taking it out on you. The bottom line is that she needs you. You seem like a very good friend to her and you're stable. She needs someone stable to be there for her no matter what! Remind her that she can always talk to you about anything. If she hurts you and makes you cry, make sure she knows that you don't do that to a best friend. I doubt she's bi polar though, she's just a bit wild and crazy.
i'm not really asking too much for advice, but more of an opinion and what you think. so heres my story (17f&17m):
i dated this guy for 8 months and we broke up the last week of april...he said he doesn't have the same feelings for me. however, we went to prom together and i was laying on this guy cause i wasn't feeling good and he was off doing his own thing...and he got upset at me for that...we both decided that itd be best for us not to talk until summer starts (which is in like a month from now) then he wants to start hanging out again as friends and he said "if its meant to be, it'll be". we started going out during the summer of last year and i was thinking of doing something cute when we hang out to realize why he fell for me last summer. i really love this kid and he treats me right. so what do you think i should do with this whole situation..is there anything that can boost our chances of getting back together?
oh and should i text him first when school ends? and how long should i wait? or should i let him text me?
This is clear cut case of.. let him come to you. Guys LOVE a challenge and they LOVE chasing girls, not when girls chase them. He's very mature with "if it's meant to be, it'll be", because that's very true. When things are meant to be, they will happen, sooner or later and you can't force them, ya know? Relax and let him text/call you. If you start to get all anxious, then maybe you can text him once something like "whats up", but be short and sweet and ler him handle the rest.
Ok this might be long but last year i liked this guy and he had gf but i couldnt help myself.So when he found i liked him he started flirting with me and i was head over heels for him and when his gf found outi liked him she freaked out and started talking behind my back and all her friends hated me too but in front of my friends she was all nice and polite.And then like 2 weeks after he had to leave to go to another school he said i was acting like his girlfriend and i wouldnt leave him alone.So now 11 months later im here and i cant let him go .next year i have to go to the same school he went to and then i have to see him everyday.ive tried everything to let him go but i cant. plz help me
He seems kind of like...a jerk, to be honest. I really hope you don't go out with him or anything! Being in the same school with the guy you like SUCKS i know. Just try to avoid him in school, and maybe take a diff hallway so you dont see him. If he tries to talk to you, just be casual and nice.. but don't flirt! From your story, I get the impression he's not really into commitment and is a big flirt. You'll get over him, trust me! In the next school, you'll be so busy getting used to everything and meeting people (and other guys!) he'll be less and less on your mind.
okay so theres this kid that i go to school with and i like him. and were having this dance thing at the end of the year. his friend (lets call him D) asked me who i was going with i was like well i dont know if im even going but if i do i kinda wanna go with (well call him T) T. and D was like oh well he wants to go with you but he doesn't know what you'll say. i was like well i would say yes. so he called T over and we were about to talk then he walked away and i tried talking to him for like the rest of the day. but he walked away every time i came up to him. is it because he doesn't want to go with me? or because hes nervous about it?? and then a couple days later D came up to me again and was like hey whats up. i was like well T hasn't really talked to me since you told me he wanted to go to the dance with me. and D was like well he's nervous about it. i was like oh well i kinda guessed that. and then D said that T wanted to go out with me. i was like oh ok. and then i had to go to class so that ended the conversation. but i guess i want to know like what can i do to make the situation get better? because me and T havent really talked much and we like used to talk all the time. like what can i say to him. i won't see him till Monday but I'll probably talk to him on myspace today or tomorrow. so what can or should i say to him??
please and thank you.
-cuttechick26
(sorry its long)
He's probably extremely nervous. His friend probably made things a little awkward by being the messenger. Just let him take his time and ask you on his own. Don't talk to 'D' about it anymore, because it might make 'T' even more nervous. If you want to make conversation with T, just be casual and nice and don't mention this dance.. let him do that. You want to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He's probably waiting for the right moment, but his nerves are probably really high.. so be sweet and flirty :]
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now and his mother and i have always been nice to one another but i know that i have not always been her favortie person. She just does not like me very much. It has been a conflict in my boyfriend and i's relationship. She is a religious person and does not like some of the things i do it all started when she realized we were having sex then it went downhill from there but at the same time we are over 18 and i dont feel like it should be a large issue. I want to have a good relationship with her because she is his mother and its not fun when your mother and gf say negative things about one another so i want to try to make my relationship with her better i am just not sure how please help oh yes one more thing he is the baby of 5 i am not sure if that plays a part in any of it but just wanted to throw it out there THANKS!
Ya know, mothers just feel a certain way about their son and especially since he's the 'baby' of the family. My mother HATED all of my brother's girlfriends for basically no reason. It's just a thing mothers have, they naturally do not like who is dating their precious son.
I don't think you should go out of your way to make her like you or to build a good relationship, because it's (probably) not going to work. Since she's religious and knows that you guys are having sex, it's probably even more awkard for her and making her a little more resentful towards you. But the main advice I can give you is.. do not badmouth or insult her to your boyfriend, EVER! Sons usually stick up for their mother and will side with them over girlfriends, especially when he's the baby. It will make you look petty and mean if he hears you say bad things about her. Second, when you are around her, just be nice and polite. Make small talk and be sweet. You can't force her to like you, but you can be as nice as possible so she can't say anything bad about you. Keep the relationship pleasant, and you should be fine.
okay so my boyfriend and i have been having more hot make out sessions. he is really touchy feely kind of guy, that doesnt bother me, but he stops. its just that i know he wants to have sex but he hasn't talked to me about it. its been like 3 months and i mean he is 21 years old and he def is getting more frisky recently and he tells me that he really does care about me (he told me this wayyy before him being more frisky). we werent friends first, and that is a great thing because there is no weird friendship awckwardness happenings.
and even though im a virgin im use to the whole "lets go have sex" talk with my exs, they got denied sooo badly :P
i dont think he understands that im use to perverted guys and that actually makes me embarressed because he thinks im sooo naivee.
but the thing is that i dont mind losing my virginty to him, crazy right i dont love him yet but i know that i really do care about him.
its just with my exs there wasnt that much oomph to the relationship it was more like i care about about them more as a friend and with my boyfriend its different.
okay so my whole question is....
dun dun dunnn get ready for this!
how can i make him understand that he doesn't need to be shy around me and he needs to be more ummm more dominant in a way but not like the kinky way like leather whips and bondage but more in the "i am a man and you are my woman" kind of way.
and him being shy ends up making me shy and im not use to being shy.
thanks for listening to my rambling!
Okay, I understand. Though first I just want to say, please wait to have sex until you love him! Sex is soo much better the first time when you're in love and you can remember it. Don't ever feel pressured and be strong, like you were with your past bfs! You'll end up regretting it if you have sex and realize it was a mistake and you didn't love him/he didn't love you.
But alright, about him being more masculine and straightforward with you.. the best way to approach this is to say it in an almost kidding way but also sexy.. like "You don't have to be shy with me.." and smile at him. I'm not exactly sure if you want him to be more dominant in general or more of a sexually dominant? (which i'm assuming) If you guys are comfortable around eachother, there shouldnt be a problem getting what you want here and since he's not a virgin. You can try "you don't have to be gentle" or "i want you to take advantage of me". If the sexy, almost kidding lines don't work.. you'll have to resort to being straightforward and saying that you like it when he's more dominant and that it turns you on.. it'll actually make him feel good! Good luck :]
so i've already made my first visit to the gyno .. but since i was too scared to do the pelvic exam (hahah) i only did the breast exam. im going back soon to get a vaccine, so i will probably end up doing the pelvic exam then. but what i am more concerned about is when i go to the gyno for an internal exam. is it better to shave before i go? i feel like if i dont then it will be hard to see cuz my hair is pretty thick. and also .. i noticed that if i spread the lips of my vagina apart, my vagina has A LOT of discharge throughout.. i have extrememly good hygene but i just dont know if this is normal? like id feel embarassed if i did the internal exam and i had all slimy discharge in me and the doctor is like looking through .. i mean i guess they see it all the time but does anyone get what im saying? id just feel weird if she saw my discharge & even if i cleaned it before i feel like it would be back again by the time she examines me.. soo basically is it ok to have my vagina like that when i get examined? and also should i shave? thanks!
I know exactly how you feel. What I did my very first time was trimmed and shave my bikini line a little. Sort of "tidied it up" just to look nice lol. You don't even have to do all that if you don't feel like it. Because just like you said, they have seen it ALL. Gynos have seem some of the most disturbing things, so don't feel awkward or embarrassed. They've also seen the hairest vaginas and the baldest ones! For your discharge, just wipe before you go in the room or when take your clothes off (they leave the exam room so you can get undressed) If you're worried about your discharge, ask your gyno! They are there for that and they've heard every question. I learned that it's always good to have a completely open relationship with your gyno and to never be shy. Make sure you relax, because if you tense up than the exam could be unpleasant. You'll be fine though!
16/F
I'm going to start taking the birth control pill, TriNessa this month and was wondering what were the regular/normal side effects?
I've been reading online that a lot of women have experienced severe acne and major mood swings. Is this common?
If you take TriNessa, what side effects do YOU get?
Thanks :)
Hey hun, I'm on Trinessa right now and I've been on it for almost 2 years. The only side effects I experienced were stomach problems, like I felt kind of sick and crampy sometimes. This was only the first few months though. When your body gets used to it, you feel less and less of the side effects. Be prepared to have some spotting or bleed a little, because again, your body has to get used to it and your period has to regulate.
Everyone is different though so you may have different side effects than me. I read online too before I started taking it and got really scared because some of the side effects they list are horrible! Don't let that scare you, those are very very rare. Any side effects you do get will subside after a month or so.
Ok i'm 17/f never had a relationship, but I wanted to change that. So I asked this guy I've been crushing on for years for his cell number, but however I got up to him and became the BIGGEST BOOB ON THE PLANET! I was nervous and stuttering, and I don't know what happened. I had it all planned out and then ~phst~ nothing. Well I got the number regardless but the "boob" residue is probably still on him so what do I do? Did I just really screw this up?
Sincerely,
MayorofGooberTown
First of all, you are incredibly brave for actually going up to him and asking. Girls usually chicken out before they even get up to the guy they like. Congrads for that! It's inspiring and I hope you never change your straight foward attitude. Now, I doubt he even cares that you were a "boob" or that you embarassed yourself (however you did, because I wasn't there obviously) Planning what you're going to say never works out how you want it to. Being spontaneous and playing it by ear usually works out better for you anyway, since you don't want to sound like a robot or like you did plan it. In a few days, casually text him or call him (depends on how courageous you want to be) and just be flirty and sweet. You can slip in a "I hope you don't think I'm a weirdo for asking for your number" or something like that. Just play it calm and cool and everything should be fine. He might have not even noticed you were nervous, because some guys are clueless!
like i know this is a stupid question but what exactly discribes the word 'fanny' ? is it the butt, or the other private part down there? and is it the girl or boys part, ot both?? haha i know weird question but i wanna make like really sure
A 'fanny' is usually meant to describe a female's butt, but it's sometimes used to describe a man's too.
hey everyone, i am 14/f and i have had a bad reputation because i was emo/scene. I am now preppy, but i stil hold that bad rep, any advice on how i could get rid off that and become someone people like?
Never become someone people like, become someone YOU like. When I was younger, I changed "labels" so much and I was goth, punk, ghetto, preppy, etc, etc! We all change, and when we're younger, we change constantly. I'm sure other people you know have changed who they are too. If someone brings it up or asks about it, just say "I am who I am. People change" or "That's what I used to like, but I changed and grew up." That should shut them up. People will like you if you like yourself and you're a good person.
ok so my hair goes down to my waist, sometimes a little longer but i cut it 1 inch about every 5 weeks. my skin is really white and my hair is darkbrown/maroon ish but some say it's black too. (it's not haha) like most people say it suites me and most guys and my friends seem to like it , other girls always try to get me to cut it but probably cause theyre jealous. it's naturally straight but i like curling it to give it more volume. so my question is, do guys like long hair like that?
(i know that i'm the one who should be happy with it and i'm NOT gonna cut it just because some guy doesnt like it, it's just a question :]
It really depends on the guy. I've known some guys that like really long hair, some guys that like it when it's short and sassy, and then there's guys who really don't care at all! The older and maturer guys get, the less they care about petty appearance things, like hair length. I would deff stick with what you like, so if you like it long.. keep it long and healthy! It sounds beautiful. =]
So a couple a weeks ago my friend "M." and I had a project that we were working on together. We were working at school and I had forgotten my flashdrive so she let me borrow hers. I kept/transported the flashdrive to and from school for two days until my portion of the project was done. We finished on the third day, but I had forgotten to bring it back to school. M. said it was ok and I should just bring it the next day. Well, as it turns out I got really bad food poisoning the next day which put me out of school until the weekend. So, that weekend I called her and said I'd bring it on Monday. She was a little pissed, but I really couldn't do anything about it because I *was* throwing up all over the place. TMI, sorry. So, that weekend an uncle that I was really close to committed suicide. On Monday my mother made me stay home from school because she's the only other one in the house and didn't want to be alone at this very sensitive time. Then, the next day (Tuesday), M. left for California for Spring break. After Spring break was over, I came to school on Monday but M. was still in Cali. The next day she came back but I had to go to my uncle's funeral which was out of state.
Ok, so now I wrote a random note to Facebook about names for a pet and M. commented it in a very blunt and angry way, telling me to call her. One of my other friends was talking to me on chat (she happens to be very good friends with M.) so I asked her if M. had said anything to her about me. She said that while I was gone, M. had been telling everyone that I was deliberately holding her flashdrive hostage and that I was being bitchy about it. She also said that her mother was really mad at me too, and let me tell you, M.'s mom is NOT someone that you want to mess around with. I was so confused because I have been nothing but nice about this and have even offered to bring it to her house (an offer that she declined). All my other friends realize that I am having a really hard time right now and that I'm sort of scatter-brained. I'm also really confused because M. is also really light, bright, and happy. She's an amazing friend.
I have no idea how to handle this and I am wondering if I am at fault. What do you think I should do so M. doesn't start valuing her flashdrive at a higher level than our friendship?
Thanks for all the advice!
I would think this through first. On her flashdrive, does she have anything on it that is personal and she wouldn't want you to see? If you see any files on there or pictures that look private and she wouldn't want anyone to see, she could be concerned about that and her privacy. Is the project you guys were working on due soon? She could've been worried about completing the project and not having her flashdrive back in time to finish it. Group projects always cause mess and sress!
Alot has happened over the weeks to you. You were very sick and lost a family member. It happens and we can't control life. She was on a vacation too. The only thing you can do is to call her or talk to her somehow, one on one. Be mature and nice about it. Explain that things that were out of your control happened and you didn't mean to hurt her in anyway and didn't intend on keeping the flashdrive for all this time. Offer to bring it to her again. Tell her you value your friendship and wouldn't want something like this to ruin it. If you're honest with her and she's still mad about it, give her time to get over it. It's petty and she shouldn't be angry for too long. If she is, than SHE IS the problem.
So ive been taking birthcontrol since thursaday..
saturday i didnt take it..
this morning me and my husband had sex. and the condom broke.. we're not sure if his sperm went inside..
can i still get pregnant even though ive been on birth control for a couple of days? :[
There is always a chance of pregnancy. But with that said, birth control doesn't come into full effect until about a month of taking it, every day. Your body has to get used to it.
I would stay calm, and is there a way you can get Plan B? It's a contraceptive taken within 2 days of your last sexual encounter and it prevents pregnancy. You can get it at a pharmacy and also google it for more info. If you can't get that, just relax and take a pregnancy test in a couple weeks to make sure. I highly doubt you are pregnant though, from the info I gathered from your question.
I have to choose a major and fast in order to pick out the right school to apply and transfer to. But I don't know what I want to major in, (I keep changing my major), and I only have one semester left to decide. I already have my general education done, next semester is reserved for classes that I am interested in to help pick a major out.
I guess right now my options are to apply to a school that I like that offers the major I have been interested for the longest time, or stop school and work full time, and maybe take a few classes for fun on the side. But if I take the second route, my parents won't pay for my education because to them making a pause is the same as dropping out and being a failure, etc, etc, so when I do pick a major, I'll have to pay for college on my own.
What do I do? And any tips on picking out a major? Thanks!
Oh, and I'm currently enrolled full time at a junior college, and have a 3.2 GPA if that matters.
At your school now, is there a counselor or advisor that you can talk to? They are extremely helpful in helping you pick the right classes and determining a major. I changed my major many times, and it's perfectly normal. Today, it's common that students don't know what they want to do until they're in their late 20s AND people change careers an average of twice in their lifetime. Think about what you LIKE doing. Do you like writing or drawing? Do you like science and doing equations? Think about what you would do if money didn't matter at all and you were able to do whatever you wanted (not sit around all day!) These things can't be rushed though. I'd really suggest talking to a school advisor though and give him/her some options of what you like to do and are interested in.
i just started tanning for prom and i have my period but i don't use tampons and i was wondering if i could do in a tanning bed with a pad? i don't want it to catch fire i have such a fear with that ever since i saw this movie. so can i go in there with a pad?
To put your mind at ease, your pad will not catch on fire. It might get a little heated, but that's it. If your period isn't that heavy, maybe you could try to wipe real well before you go in the tanning bed and not use a pad. Was it that final destination movie you saw? lol It's all highly exaggerated, so don't worry.
16/f
i've been thinking about what i want to do when i'm older and i want to do something that will help people and/or the environment.
i don't want to be a doctor or a teacher.
does anyone have any ideas of careers like that?
thanks a ton!
Hmm, there's too many to name them all but mainly you could be a social worker, psychiatrist, anything that has to do with sociology and psychology. You can get involved with the environment by being a scientist (there's all diff kinds of them). When you go to college, you'll get a better idea though. Pick classes that have anything to do with sociology and environmental science. Also, if you join some charities now, you'll make good contacts and in the future have good references, so it'll be easier getting into a career.
It's always difficult to keep long distance relationships going, but even moreso when that person suddenly vanishes.
My girlfriend, 20 years old, lives in Ohio with her mother who can be most accurately described as "Skewed". She has a tendency to think irrationally and it more often then not end with my girlfriend breaking down and/or getting hurt.
Since we began dating one month ago there's always been a way to contact her. Whether it through a home phone, cell phone, or online. She is close friend with on of my long-time friends, and before we met the two of them would talk everyday.
The last time I spoke to her (on the phone) was last Saturday, six days ago. I recieved a short text from her on Monday, four days ago. Since then my attempts to contact her yielded no answer. My friend can't get ahold of her either, and words through the grapevine get to me saying no one can.
I think nothing of it at first. She's probably just busy, right?
Then her myspace disappears.
Then her deviantart gallery gets cleared out.
Her cell phone is off.
Every known trace I can find of her suddenly drops from the internet.
I'm becoming worried since it's not like her just to pull a disappearing act. We may have only dated one month, but I knew her for five years before. This sort of behavior is not like her, and I fear that something has happened to her.
What should I do?
The first thing that came to my mind, is that her mother has something to do with it all. Do you know if her mother likes/dislikes you or her other friends? Sometimes mothers act irrational and take away cell phones and make their daughters delete myspaces. It's not uncommon. There might have been a big fight between them. I would keep trying to get ahold of her, but don't make yourself worry too much. You DO have your own life to live, just in your free time call her or send an e-mail, to let her know you're a little concerned and just want some reassurance she's okay.
clitoris??
is it dangerous?
and why does it feel horrible?
and im only young does that have an affect??? x
It's never dangerous to touch your clitoris, if your gentle. IF it feels horrible it could be a number of reasons, especially if:
-where your touching is not your clit
-you're being a little rough
It could also be that your young and you are not fully developed down there, so your clit can be hard to locate. It's perfectly fine though to experiment with yourself and see what feels good and if you can find it. Be gentle!
whose the designer of these coach sneakers? im trying to find them on ebay.
http://img21.imageshack.us/my.php?image=96224766.jpg
I'm not sure if there's a specific designer for them, but if you go to the Coach website they have sneakers there, also macy's might and bloomingdales. They might be from a different season, because Coach comes out with new styles of sneaks every season or so.
And yes, Gucci or Coach sneakers that are being advertised for $60 are definitely fake. I've never seen a pair of Coach sneakers for less than $100. Ebay is tricky, since people can say they're authentic but they can turn out to be fake, so please be careful.