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Boyfriends mother
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now and his mother and i have always been nice to one another but i know that i have not always been her favortie person. She just does not like me very much. It has been a conflict in my boyfriend and i's relationship. She is a religious person and does not like some of the things i do it all started when she realized we were having sex then it went downhill from there but at the same time we are over 18 and i dont feel like it should be a large issue. I want to have a good relationship with her because she is his mother and its not fun when your mother and gf say negative things about one another so i want to try to make my relationship with her better i am just not sure how please help oh yes one more thing he is the baby of 5 i am not sure if that plays a part in any of it but just wanted to throw it out there THANKS!
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Mothers can be protective of their sons. I happen to love my current daughter in law though, so it is possible to have a good relationship with us mothers! LOL.
I think you need to sit down with his mother and have a talk. Invite her to lunch or for coffee maybe.
Tell her straight out that you would like to have a good relationship with her. Tell her you realize that you don't see everything the same way. Tell her you understand she may not approve of some of the things you do.
The most IMPORTANT thing you need to make her understand is that you love her son. That you want him to be happy. THAT goes a long, long way in getting approval!
Now, your boyfriend needs to be telling his mom how important you are to him too. Hes got to be careful he isn't just going along with her or ignoring any stabs at you she may make. He needs to support you and your relationship. Nicely but firmly put her in her proper place. If he lets her get away with it, she will continue.
Now, the hardest part of all this. I know, talking to her may be pretty tough, this will be harder though! No matter how the talk with her turns out, do not (not that you do now, I have no idea), but do not make any negative remarks about what an ass pain she is for a while. Smile, and ignore her if she makes remarks. This will let your boyfriend know that you are trying your best to get along. This will give him ammo should he feel the need to tell his mom "Look, she is trying, you are not."
I hope I covered everything that might happen.
Good luck!
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Ya know, mothers just feel a certain way about their son and especially since he's the 'baby' of the family. My mother HATED all of my brother's girlfriends for basically no reason. It's just a thing mothers have, they naturally do not like who is dating their precious son.
I don't think you should go out of your way to make her like you or to build a good relationship, because it's (probably) not going to work. Since she's religious and knows that you guys are having sex, it's probably even more awkard for her and making her a little more resentful towards you. But the main advice I can give you is.. do not badmouth or insult her to your boyfriend, EVER! Sons usually stick up for their mother and will side with them over girlfriends, especially when he's the baby. It will make you look petty and mean if he hears you say bad things about her. Second, when you are around her, just be nice and polite. Make small talk and be sweet. You can't force her to like you, but you can be as nice as possible so she can't say anything bad about you. Keep the relationship pleasant, and you should be fine.
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