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Q: I'm a 22 year old female with an associate's degree who is transferring to a 4-year college this coming fall. I quit my job in January because my boss was insane and I wanted to work in a different field of interest. I had another job all lined up, but that one didn't work out. I've been applying to various places since, and most of them haven't resulted in anything. The few that have either had schedule or locational issues (I don't function before 9am and for a while, I hated driving).

I saved up a decent amount of money while I was working, and I've been able to maintain the same bank balance thanks to a generous tax refund earlier this year. What I really want to do is stop looking for a while. I'm sick of the process, and if I can afford it, why shouldn't I? I mean, if I hear about a really great opportunity, I'll definitely jump at it, but I'm sick of worrying about my employment status and its relation to other people. What I mean is, I'm worried my boyfriend will think I'm lazy, but I'd really like to stop looking till about mid-summer. He and I are going away for a week, and I feel that if I bring that up at a job interview, potential employers will likely send me on my way. Once we're back, I'll definitely resume the search, but I would like to take a break for a little bit.

Basically, I'm battling feelings of guilt about the issue. I can afford to be unemployed for a few more months, but I don't want to be irresponsible. I guess I'm searching for some kind of validation. I live with my mom, so I don't have to worry about rent, and I used to take summers off when I worked during the school year.

So yeah, that's my situation. Thanks for listening.

I don't see why not, if you are already feeling drained and sick of the process I don't imagine that feeling getting any better once you get a job, in fact it will probably worsen. So I think its a great idea to just take a break for a while, since you can afford it, and I think that once you go away for a week and have a chance to relax and regroup that you will feel much more confident about finding a job and that will show in your job interview and possibly help you to get a job quicker. Basically, its your life, you have to do what makes you happy, end of story and its not as if you are never ever going to search for a job again you simply want to take a break. Everyone deserves a break every now and then and I think its time for yours. Go have fun on your vacation then when you get back you can worry about everything else :)
Good Luck!

Q: what does it mean if his penis is or gets unerected.

This means that he was turned on and had an erection (hard on) and then something happened that killed the mood and he lost it( ie went soft).
Like the example given below :) Or if nothing happened and he just lost his erection it could be something else, like erecticle dystfunction, although this is rare with younger men, I am not sure if you are just asking this to ask or if something really happend nor am I sure what age you are just thought I would throw that it there as well.
Good Luck :)

Q: I have a couple of serious questions and I would like an answer from someone who is educated and is preferably familiar with birth control pills. I've been taking them for about a month to help with my period and I just started my second pack. During first pack, I ended up skipping a couple days because I completely forgot to take them. But other than that, I've been taking them everyday around the same hour. My question is..if I take my pill a couple-few hours earlier or later than the previous day, is it still just as effective? I heard that as long as you take it within 24 hrs, AROUND the same time, it's fine. But is it really necessary to get it within the same exact hour everytime? Also, I'm about to become sexually active. (We'll be using the pill AND a condom, don't worry.) But I'd like to know how long does it take before the pill actually kicks in and starts working effectively. Remember, I missed a couple days on my last pack about a week or two ago, so should I be okay as long as I continue to take them every single day from now till then? Sorry this was so long. Thanks in advance!

If you take the pill EVERY day then it takes a month for it to become effective, but if you miss days in a row then it will take another month from that day, that is what my gynecologist told me. As for the time thing, I think as long as you take them within a couple hours of the same time you are fine, thats what I do and I have never had any problems with it. Just remember to take them daily and you will be just fine, if you have trouble remembering sit them somewhere that you look everyday like on top of your alarm clock, beside your tooth brush, etc.
Good Luck :)

Q: I am starting birth control to regulate my period. I know that you get to know the exact day you start your period each month (by the color of the pill). But is it always 100% effective when it comes to your period or is it possible that you could start your period sooner or later?

I have been on and off birth control many times in the last 6-8 years and usually the first pack your period may come toward the end of that week of pills and continue for a few days at the beginning of the next, but that usually only lasts for the first pack sometimes the second. It really depends on you, your cycle, and your body.
Your best betis to talk to your doctor about it, they can tell you which types are best to regulate your period, what types are best if you want less cramps, no weight loss etc.
Hope I Helped :)

Q: my period gets very very very very heavy in the beginning.. and i try everysize pad (to get the picture... i have 13 different packs of pads in my closet) and it always ends up on my underwear... so every month or so i have to buy new pairs... can i prevent this?

My mother has this exact same problem, she has to wear the heavy flow pads and a tampon at the same time so she doesn't bleed through, you could try this. Or you could try birth control, I know that some of them can reduce the heaviness and length of your period. Talk to your gynecologist about this option, I know lots of people who have turned to birth control to help them for this.
Hope I Helped :)

Q: im only 13... and i have had the same boyfriend for 2 years and about two months ago we had sex...unprotected... let me cut to the chase... i havent had me period since then and i took a pregnancy test and it was positive... how do i tell my parents? or my boyfriend? or ANYONE?
please help

This is a very tough situation for all the parties that are involved, but its over and done with and there is nothing you can do now but make the decision on what to do about the pregnancy. Sit down and tell your parents, let them know that you are sorry and that you realize it was a mistake. Then as a family you can all sit down and talk about your options:
-abortion.
-keep it.
-adoption.
In the end it is really YOUR decision, no one can tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do, because really that just depends on you and your situation. I know plenty of girls who are teen moms, not as young as you I will say, it is doable although your life will NEVER EVER be the same again. Then you need to go to the doctor and make sure you really are pregnant and there isn't something else wrong ie. just changes in your menstration, which is possible at your age, but doubtful since you got a positive test.
I am very sorry for your situation and, although I cannot say for sure how your parents are going to react about it, from my experience they are very upset, disappointed, and hurt at the beginning but whatever your decision in the end, they will come around(hopefully). Things are going to be tough no matter what decision you make, but in the end things will work out, they always do.
Good Luck & I Hope I Helped :)

Q: I know this might sound silly, but how does 143 equal I love you!? Is it some code from a movie or something or is it some secret quote from some book?

Can anybody explain to me how this happened? I got like three dozen texts of 143 before I found out that it meant I love you!

Thank you to anybody who can help!

There is 1 letter in 'I', 4 in 'LOVE', and 3 in 'YOU.' At least thats what I heard and thats also what google said when I googled it earlier today because one of my friends asked me the same question and I wanted to make sure that was the right answer.

Hope I Helped :)

Q: about 3 months ago, i was diagnosed with leaukemia=[. the doctor told me that i am gonna die after my 8th month. is he allowed to tell me this? he just flat out said... " in about 8 months your gonna die ", he made me my mom my dad and my brother cry. so anyways.... can he tell me this... and can i like sue him for it?

f/13

No you cannot sue him for this, but I would seriously consider getting another doctor. I doubt he was trying to be rude, he probably just didnt want to beat around the bush. But remember this, people beat these odds all the time, just because your doctor says you have 8 months to live does NOT mean that you are going to die in 8 months. Stay positive and fight for your life, anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I say pray lots and live your life to the fullest.
I am very sorry for your bleak diagnosis, but your life is yours alone, do NOT let his opinion get you down, stay positive. I know many people who have lived YEARS, after they were told they had months to live. IT IS POSSIBLE.
Good Luck & Hope I Helped :)

Q: I'm currently on my first month of the pill, and my doctor warned be that there'll be some spotting. I was just wondering, how soon will this stop? It's getting a bit irritating now, considering I'm on almost my third week now...
Also, is it normal for my breasts to feel a bit painful, or is this something I should talk to my doctor about?

Thanks for anyone who has experience with this!

It just depends on the birth control and your own body, I have never spotted on any of the different birth controls that I have been on. Spotting can last up until after you take the inactive pills, but once you start the next pack it should stop, if it does not I would call your doctor maybe he can switch you to a different prescription or do something else to help you out. It is normal for your breasts to be a bit tender with most birth controls. Birth control can be a bit of a trouble maker :)
Hope I Helped.

Q: I'm 14, my bf is 17. So, we were texting about computer games and he asked if i had played a certain game. I said no, and he said "ok, I'll bring you the game tomorrow at school, and you bring the thank u" so i asked him what kind of thank u he wants and he said "surprise me"> Please can u help me with some ways to thank him , but not giving him an object in return, some kind of romantic affectionate way,

Thanks

I'm not quite sure what exactly either of you have in mind, but I will do my best :)
Maybe you can bake him some cookies, like they always say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I don't know if something uber romantic is in order because he really didn't do anything big just brought you a computer game so... Maybe you could just give him a kiss and then take him out to a movie and dinner, or a very sweet note. I really think cookies or cupcakes would be the best thing, you can decorate them with little hearts and i

Q: I am a high school senior and im stuck about the obvious problem all seniors face...what college is right for me?

Heres my problem....I am a pretty talented wrestler, not amazing, but talented. I am ok at school not the best. My dad really wants me to go to a 2-year school that already has an interest in me to wrestle for them and he thinks it will fit my academic abilities better. But i really have a good 4-year school picked out im already accepted, and i have friends that go there. and they have a very competitive wrestling program I love wrestling it was basically my life in HS...but i probably wont start actually wrestling for them for a long time, I even went through the thought of just ending my wrestling career, I ended high school on a good note...maybe it is time to end. I feel like with wrestling gone I could focus more on school and maybe some things i couldnt do since I was so committed to wrestling. I love the 4-year, even without wrestling, but it is really hard to let go of wrestling.

Thanks!

I can understand where you are coming from, I was always an athelete in high school, a very very good athelete in high school. I played softball, basketball, and volleyball and did well in all 3, once senior year was rolling around I had a few colleges that wanted me to play volleyball for them and everyone around me was pushing me towards this, but I didn't know if thats what I wanted to do. The schools that wanted me to play were not really that good in the areas that I wanted to major in and I really didn't know if I even wanted to continue my sports career in college.
In the end I chose a local community college that was cheaper and that suited what I wanted and am going to transfer to the local university in another year, I stopped playing sports and although I do miss them I do not regret my decision. You have to do what makes YOU happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants because you are the one who is going to have to go to the school and the wrestling practices if you choose to continue. You need to sit down make a list of pros and cons of each school and decide which one is really best for you, what you want to do, and most importantly what will make you happy. If your parents do not agree with your decision just let them know that you made an educated decision and you believe that the college you chose is best for you now and your future :)
Hope I Helped :)

Q: I'm thinking about getting my 2nd job @ the grocery store just bagging groceries or whatever. For those who had this kind of job: is it pretty easy? What kind of side jobs did you have to do, besides putting groceries in bags and offering to take the cart out to their car? What are some things you didnt like about the job? And what are some things you did like? Was the job interview pretty easy? What kind of questions did they ask? Do you they give you flexible hours? Sorry for so many questions. I was just curious. Thank you.

My husband was a bag boy for a year, he did not have a job interview though so I can't help you there but as for what other things you have to do here are some things that he had to do:
-Face the shelves(which means pulling all the things to the front, making sure the labels are facing to the front, making sure things are in the correct spots).
-Cleaning bathrooms and certain areas of the store.
Thats pretty much it besides carrying the groceries to the cars, he didn't really like his job at all. It can get a bit annoying, but working with people always is.
Hope I Helped :)

Q: I am 17 and going to the gynecologist for the first time within the next couple weeks. I'm not sexually, just going to get on the pill for my period. I was wondering what to expect and all the procedures that they do while im there. And which should I pick - a male or female doctor? Any other tips? Thanks.

What you should expect is loads of questions about your sex life, but you shouldn't be too embarrassed since you are not sexually active yet, there are lots of questions the first visit. Your gynecologist may or may not want to do a pap smear, they are not painful just a bit uncomfortable. As for the sex of your doctor it really depends on which you are more comfortable with, I have a female doctor at the moment, but will probably be transferring to a male doctor when I become pregnant, simply because I do not want to have my baby at the hospital where my doctor works and the male doctor that I am transferring to is a great doctor(he is my mother's gyno.) The best thing to do is talk to the women in your family or friends about who they have been to, who they prefer, etc. You can even go with one of them to met the doctor and see how you feel about them, this is what I did before I chose.
Do NOT be afraid to voice any concerns or thoughts that you have to your gynecologist, if you are uncomfortable with something he/she is doing then let them know.
Hope I Helped :)

Q: I was wondering, even if I'm not sexually active or anything..and I just want to get on the pill (for my period), would I still need a pap smear? Also, what other things should I expect during my appointment with the gynecologist?

I agree with the poster below me, it really depends on your gynecologist, some of them will do one just to be on the safe side and make sure everything looks okay down there, while others will not. He/She may want to do one also since you are having troubles with your period(I assume thats why you want it to regulate your period?), they may want to make sure that there is nothing seriously wrong and that birth control is the best option for you.
Paps are really not that bad, they are a bit uncomfortable but if you have a good gyno who tells you step by step what they are doing it is loads better. Let them know that you are a bit nervous about it and if at anytime throughout the procedure you begin to feel uncomfortable let them know.
Hope I Helped :)

Q: I've been in a long distance relationship for 9 months. We're recently broken up, and I showed my boyfriend fake pictures, and only JUST showed him my actual self a few days ago. I was terrified to tell him, but he actually took it MUCH better than I thought he would. He was a little upset at what I did, but said he still loved me, and if I 'work with him a little bit' by showing him more pics of my real self & maybe getting a webcam, then we could get back together.

We both have strong feelings for eachother, & I (stupidly) ended the relationship because I knew I could never meet him since I sent fake pics. But now, he knows what I really look like, and accepted me, so a relationship is possible again.

This is my only problem. I've only showed him shoulders up pics of me. I'm not fat..but curvy. He's a tall, lanky guy, VERY skinny, he only weighs 120 lbs! But, I weigh more than that, & I'm scared to show him pics of my whole body. He's been asking for 'bikini'/full body pics & for me to get a webcam, but I honestly don't have any bikini pics, because I hate my body. I think it's too curvy, and it's my #1 insecurity.

Anyway, I do love him, & I realize if he can get over me faking pics, & he does like my face..then can my body really be a cause for him to stop loving me? I'm just scared he'll be unattracted to me, and won't want to tell me because he's too nice.

Basically what I'm asking is: 1. How should I go about showing him pics of my full body? Just send him a bunch then say I have to leave quickly? (I don't want to be there when he sees them, hahah) 2. Should I get a webcam if he accepts the pics the way they are? It's not really like I'd be showing my body on there anyway, he'd really only see my face. Thank you.

I think first of all you need to work on accepting yourself and loving who you are and how you look. If you are unhappy about the way you look then you can always start working out a little to tone up, start eating better, etc. If you don't want to do these things and are happy with the way you are, then it doesn't matter what this guy says. If he really cares that much about how you look then he isn't worth your time of day. My husband is not only shorter than me but he weighs less than me and I too used to be body conscience, but he has helped me to learn to not only love myself, but that its not about what you look like its who you are on the inside.
Now as for showing him the picture, you could kinda tell him in a funny way, like "Now Im not one of those stick thin girls, I like to eat." He will know by your face shots that you aren't fat, because you can tell by face shots. Or you could just send them too him, you can even tell him that you are a bit self conscious about your body. If he really cares about you as much you think he does, then he will be totally fine with it.
You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. If the person you THINK loves you tries to make you change or doesn't accept you for you, then they really don't care about you as much as you thought about it. You ARE beautiful in your own way, not matter if you are fat or skinny, tall or short, blonde or brown, you ARE a beautiful person :) Always remember that and never let anyone tell you difference.
& curves are wayyyy better anyway, I too am curvy ;)

Hope I Helped and Hope that everything works out.

Q: hey, i've noticed that i get really depressed around my period, or like right before i get it. I cry at everything, i feel so sad and depressed and i'm also really irritable. I tell my mom i'm getting my period and she understands so that helps but its really... inconvenient i guess haha. i mean it sucks to feels depressed and hopeless for like a week straight, and i'm always snapping at people around me. does anyone have advice of how to help these PMS symptoms or anything??? thank youuuu

It sucks being a girl doesn't it, I am the same way I get very emotional and irritable around that time of the month, but I don't take anything for it. I do know that there are some birth controls that help with the mood swings and such, also Vitamin B12 helps, one of my friends in high school used to take it and it did wonders for her. You can also speak to your gynecologist about it he/she can probably point you in the direction of something that will make you feel better.
Hope I Helped. :)

Q: when the time comes i want to tell my boyfriend that i love him, in a very special, unforgettable way. I have a few ideas, any of you have any you have used, heard of, or think is an amazing way to say, ILOVEYOU.

What I think would be really cool would be a scavenger hunt, that leads him to you and a romantic picnic somewhere like under the stars. Once he gets there have some romantic finger foods, like chocolate covered strawberries, and as you are laying down looking at the stars tell him how much you love him.
Seems fun and romantic :)
Good Luck and hope I helped.

Q: My mom and I never get along or even talk. She's just not someone I can go up to and tell things to. Well im 17 and this summer im pretty sure im going to lose my virginity when im on vacation to visit my friends. Im ready, i love him and hes the right guy, i know more than most people know, im aware of the consequences and precautions i need to take. I just dont trust condoms alone, so id like to get on the pill before becoming sexually active. I would like to tell my mom so we can set up an appointment with the gyno, but im scared that i could ever have the courage to ask her or even talk to her about sex. She's told me tons of times "If you ever have sex, use protection. And tell me." My parents trust me already, but a part of me feels like..if i told them im going to start having sex..that they may take my freedom away from me and wont let me go on vacation. I was thinking about just going to Planned Parenthood behind their backs and getting it, but because of several reasons, theres no way i can actually get away with it and do it. (Long story, but its seriously impossible at this moment.) I was also thinking about just asking to go to the gyno because of period problems. (Ive actually had problems for the past year or two that my mom knows about) But she still refuses to give me medical attention no matter what the situation is. My parents know im cautious and responsible, unlike my sister. (She lost her virginity at 13 and they could care less.) So my question is - if you were in my position and never really talked to your mom..would you talk to her about becoming sexually active and getting on the pill? I guess the only thing holding me back is not knowing how she will react. Or should i just be careful and use a condom only...and when i come back from vacation..tell her im sexually active and need to be on the pill?

I think that you should sit down with her and talk to her about it, it will make you seem alot more responsible because you went to her about it. You don't really have to tell her that you are going to have sex, just tell her that you would rather be safe than sorry and that way if it does happen then you are prepared. You can also let her know that you are still a virgin at this point and just want to make sure that you take all the precautions to prevent pregnany, stds, etc. Use condoms along with the pill also just to be extra careful. You are 17 and if she says no then I would tell her that you are going to go yourself and get on it, I think that as long as you sit down and make a good argument that she will be fine with it and take you. Showing your responsibility by talking to her will be a great step in the right direction.
I also want to say that I think it's great that you are being so smart about the whole situation, kudos for you.
Hope I Helped & Good Luck :)

Q: so i am majorly in love with this guy! he's the only one i wanna be with.. i told him i loved him and he didnt say it back.. which i didnt expect him to. but the thing about him is that he isnt very open about his feelings and i am obviously! how do i get him to open up to me? i really wanna be with him!!! :( thanks..

You may as well learn this now, MOST guys are not open about their feelings, simple as that. It is very frustrating and can cause lots of issues, but most men just are not comfortable being vulenrable in front of anyone. Your best bet is to not come on too strong, just hang out with him let him know that you like him, want to be with him and go from there. Don't be expecting things out of romance novels and hollywood because most guys aren't like that, but if he does care about you too then you will see it in little things :)

Hope I Helped :)

Q: I have a new girlfriend like im kinda scared cause my ex told me she loved me b4 and she will never cheat on me but she did so like its very hard 4 me to trust my new girlfriend because of what happened with my ex but i really really love my new girlfriend but i always question her about like do she like dis or that boy or is she doing something she doesnt suppose to(cheating) and i really dont like her to go out cause i think she would cheat on me and then it scares me cause like she is not a virgin and her cousin is like always trying to make her do stuff like drink and i dont like her to drink cause who knows what would she do when shes drunk what if she sleep with another guy :( so she stopped i really love her i just really want to trust her so bad and she knows i dont trust her and it hurts her :( please help Sami i would be so greatful

Relationships are built on trust and I realize that it is very difficult to trust someone when you have been betrayed in the past, but forgive and forget. If your current girlfriend loves you then she won't cheat, if she cheats on you then she isn't worth it and you deserve better than that. The best thing for you to do is let her know about your fears but don't crowd her and always assume she's cheating, the more you try to control her the more likely it is that she is going to get frustrated with you and either break up with you or cheat, simple as that. Don't tell her NOT to do things, she may be doing as you say now, but she will begin to resent you as the relationship goes on and it will not lend well. Really you need to keep the lines of communication open, let her know your fears, how you feel about what she does, etc. Also why don't you go out with her, this way you can be with her and not be stressing about it. It seems like her cousing really doesn't care about her and just wants her to party, which isn't good company to keep if you ask me.
I hope everything works out for you guys, have faith in her, she may surprise you, not every girl is a cheater.
Hope I Helped :)

bio

I am a 19 year old female. I am the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I am funny. I am free-willed. I am a lover. I am a friend. I have been through alot & many people call me their guru. & I will try to give you the healthiest advice possible. I may be young but I have a lot of life experiences in many areas, and since my career will be giving advice I figured I'd give a head start. I can be blunt and will give you my honest opinion, although I will do it in a nice way.
I am married to an amazing guy, we have been together since my Junior year & we can't be happier. I have 2 dogs & they are my babies, life wouldnt be the same without them. I am going into my 2nd year of college, I plan to get a degree in Radiology.

I am currently really busy in my life but I will answer any and all questions that are sent to my inbox. I do my best to get on & answer as many questions as possible whenever I am on. If you wish for me to answer one of your questions please submit them. Thanks.