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Open my Mind!E-mail:
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December 11, 2010Answers:
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Hey everyone! My name is Mariah, but you can call me uniqueme. :) I have been told a lot that I offer really great advice..in any subject. I do this on my free time because I enjoy making people feel like a load has been lifted off their shoulders. So please feel free to ask me whatever you want. I won't bite. :)Also PLEASE GO TO MY ADVICE SITE:
www.openmymind.yolasite.com
it is fairly new. :)
advice
i'm in a long distance relationship i'm 21 he's 23, he changes his miind alot and i dont know what to do , i know best would be to not be with him, but i wanna be with him i think something is wrong with me , cause he is not nice all the time, actually he is very mean sometimes calls me horrrible names insulting me but then next day he is like saying he is gonna move to my city and started looking for appartments and all so i dont understand if he acts that way cause maybe wants me to end the relationship or he just doesnt care or knows what he wants, he says he wants to be with me however he always imply that he knows im cheating (which ive never done) and actually one time we broke up for like 2 days he hooked up with a girl next than 24 hrs later ...and told me about it like 2 months after that happened .. i dont know what to do anymore to be honest..because one day he tells me he loves me and that he doesnt mean it when he calls me horrible names, but then next day if i dont pick up one of his calls or take some minutes to reply to his texts he starts calling me names, i always reply very fast and he NEVER does , sometimes he even dissapears for a complete day ! like 2 days ago he got upset cause i didnt took his calls and i stayed over at my friend's but the truth is my phone battery died i explained and still he started calling me a slut..we were still discussing that on the 31st in the morning and from 4 pm on he didnt took my calls or reply to my texts until today january 1st at 2 pm.....and he didnt even reply he just asked "what did you do yesterday i know you hooked up " and i was like no i didnt etc why didnt you took my calls etc . he said he was asleep which i dont believe, then he confessed at night he was at this party, but im like he usually replies even when with friends and he doesnt when he's with girls obviously so my guess he was with girls ... instead of trying to prove me wrong he was just like whatever you're a slut anyway...and i was like please stop messaging me i dont wanna talk to you anymore or anything else to do with you, he started texting me really mean stuff like you're a total slut (when he's the one that has been sneaky about stuff) and i'd never be serious with you unless its about f***ng you, and i didnt reply to that , he started texting me messages like oh you want me to f*ck you right ? (i didnt reply) and he started sending lots of messages like this :S like how he wants me to treat me like a slut and stuff etc. ...my guess is he did this so i would get upset and stop replying cause after that i tried talking to him and he didnt took my calls so im guessing he was being mean to keep me a way for the day and go out without me bothering him or whatever that's about cause he is usually all over me asking where im at and today he hasnt even asked cause obviously he doesnt want me to ask him., my point is sometimes he does stuff like blaming me for hidding stuff (which ive never done) blamming me for having lots of guy friends (which i dont even have ) blamming me for liking other guys when the truth is he is the one who admited to hooked up with a girl he thought was really hot, ...like he has no reason to tell me this stuff and still he does it i have even thought maybe he does it cause he wants to feel less guilty for maybe doing this things by blamming me or assuming i do them too, but then he also tells me he's gonna move to my city and live with me :S !!! i dont know what to do im so desperate i know its stupid sometimes he is very sweet but he's being really mean all the time now , like i would understand if he doesnt want me but then why is he asking all the time where im at and asking if im into other guys when even he was seeing this other girl behind my back, i dont know what to do has anyone ever had an experience like this ? another thing he doesnt trust me cause of the distance, he lives in britain and i live in america but he would come visit etc
Okay so you shouldn't even be asking this question darling because deep down I know that you know that this relationship is doomed. Im not trying to be a pessamist, but come on. The guy is definitely not trust worthy and you deserve better. You don't need to be called a slut every to seconds from a douche beg who probably has 300 STDs. No. Get out while you can, block his number, I hope you didn't tell him exactly where you live. If you did, I'd get a restraining order. Guys like this can become really obsessive and stupid. So, just be careful and stick up for yourself. You DO deserve better hunn. :)
i have had sex with 4 guys in my life.
never ever has it ever felt remotly good.
why is this? and how do i change this?
im a female.
not just about orgasming just feelign food in gerneal!
You may have a blockage in your mind or maybe no feeling down there because of something that happened in the past. I say you go see a doctor and make sure it isn't health related. Other than that, like the previous person said, you may just not like sex. Which usually most people feel something while sex, whether it is pain or feeling good.
I really want to move into a good spot, by i need to convince my mom to. shes a single mom and i have an older brother and a cat
I say first you need to tell her. But you also stay calm while telling her and don't forget to tell her to not talk until you have completed your side of the story.
Tell her why, and have decent reasons, as to why you want to move into a better spot. It can't just be because of yourself, but for also your mom and brother and your cat. Don't forget to think about what would be good for them if they moved into a different spot.
If she says no, don't beg. Just talk to her again a few days later...and then a few days after that...so on until she actually gets your side of the story.
Good luck.xx
So where do I start to explain.
I belonged to this spiritual family. I still owe them much thanks and deepest respect, but the site has a dark side to it. The owner, she is like a sister to me, and a few others are known to be the most powerful and hotheaded on the site. (you know, woman with a bit of fire and attitude? hehe. No offense, this is a special case ). So it is hard to negotiate sometimes, everyone has some fear of her. Like i told her "Those who left months ago and I are different. Fear can make people do crazy $#!%, and cause harm. the opposite of fear is love. I am not afraid."
Im not the only one who has left, 2 of the admins so far have left recently. but twice we had a trend where people left and said and done reckless things (back in dec 2009 and this April). I naturally try to see both sides of it. I sympathize with them, but not their actions. It is sad for me to see the only thing they take care about even temporarily are site features and events. They don`t try to think what reason they would have left for, when the answers are there. Now its gotten quite bad, and even the once most loyal people feel it is time to leave.
Normally im not the self-considerate type. It was a hard move to make, but i guess i am getting older and wiser that I am thinking and understanding how dim reality can be. I had hopes that i could draw closer to her that i actualy become influential and able to help her, but there are too many roadblocks. Leaving would be best for me as it is no longer nurturing and right now im soul searching because theres just this empty hole somewhere and im not sure what i need to fill it. Im not sure who I am anymore. In a sense, i did this for her too, I would rather leave with a whisper than a bang, but i knew they would be upset, and think lowly of me, when I only mean good.
It is not my job to teach her, it is something only she can learn on her own.
How do i stay strong? I am still somewhat empathic to her, and to the sites general energy. I pray for her now, but I know its hard. Even I got physically sick the day after.
How do i stay strong and dignified?
Darlin,
only you can make yourself stay strong and dignified. I say that you keep telling yourself WHY you did it and the good that came out of it. But don't forget to think about the bad consequences as well..
you did it to mainly help yourself, but also the site manager as well. I actually very much think what you did means you are a good person.
Though i don't know your whole story and I don't know what this girl has been doing, i know you made the right choice.
You just have to find the energy within yourself to stay strong and not break. Only then can you answer the question "how do i stay strong and dignified?"
I been on what I call a diet for the past 8 months. At first everybody was amazed I lost so much weight so fast but now they always tell me I'm TOO thin. I want to be skinnier and I think I still look FAT. I did a BMI calculator and I'm like a number 15 (the thing said 15.1 actually). I don't eat allot. Somebody told me they think I have a eating disorder called anorexia. I looked it up. I might have that. I haven't got my period in a couple months even. I don't want to be sick? So does it go away on its own or do I need to get medicine? Im kind of confused about what to do? I didnt tell my mom because shes already upset Im still dieting and I dont want her to freak out again on me. What do you think I could do to be normal I guess? Thanks you
Anorexia disorder does not go away on its own because it is malneurishment. You really do need a doctor. They don't make medicine really for actual anorexia but they can give you small doses of liquid foods to help you get back to your normal eating habits and also pills to give you all the vitamins you will need. If you are very bad you will need to be hospitalized, but don't worry, they will help you AND save your life because anorexia is very life threatening. Anyways, you also need to speak with a counselor because I am sure you are not fat if people are telling you that you are too skinny. Everyone is beautiful. Show your curves girl not your ribs. :) good luck..
My girlfriend and i have been togther 8 months im 17 shes 16 were both virgins we been taking things slowly weve talked about sex but im still nervous i have a small penis im not sure if i will be any good or be able to please her i want to make it good what can i do? will i be able to please her?
I'm sure you will. If you are that nervous just talk to her about things that are bothering you. I'm sure you aren't that small, but if you are, and she truly loves you, then she won't care. The things that make it bad is nerves, so just calm down and go with your instincts. The first time isn't meant to be perfect, just practice with her and I'm sure you will get better every time. I can't really tell you what to do, because different things pleases different girls, but sex and making out is sort of like an instinct to humans. You just do it, whether it is good or bad. And she will still like you. :) so just talk to her about it. And i'm sure you will be able to please her all the time because she will understand.
Do they have to make their own dough? How do they work at a cash register?
Yes, at pizza hut you have to make your own dough. Working at the cash register is actually very easy. All you really have to do it get peoples food, press buttons, and hand back correct change.
xx
Okay, to start off I'm 15, both my brother and my boyfriend are 17. Two years diffrence, my brother and I hated each other when I was younger, he made fun of me, he discluded me from my family..(he would make me stay away from him and my mom/or gma when they talked..watched movies.) So I bascicaly felt left out, of everything it made me feel really bad. :/ Now, that I'm older he always wants to be around me. I'm happy that he likes to hang out with me, he is really funny and kind. I love him, I really do he's a good brother. Now, that I'm with my boy friend he absoulutly he hates him, for no reason at all. My boy friend says its because It's like he's taking away his baby sister, he misses the attention. Well, I'm getting sick of the things he says and one day ( I have a horrible temper :/ when it comes to people I care about) he was calling my bf a liar ( because of past things with his troubled ex, and a girl who tried to break us up..)he was calling him trash, my boy friend isn't wealthy he lives in a trailer, he lives with his gma who isn't very nice..he can't help where he lives. Well, I hit his pinkie with the telephone, and broke it. Now it causes him pain and it has grown in wrong :/ I feel horrible about it i truly do. Now my mom says sense how bad my boy friend is treated by his gma, he has to do all the work she yells at him constantly and he doesn't live in a healthy environment. My boy friend treats me nice, and he cares about me very much..I just want everything to stop..I feel bad. After he graduates, I won't be able to see him and my mother said he could stay with us until he gets on his feet..plus he still has to take care of his animals and his gmas will be back in winter..(there giving him the trailer when the move up north to Loraine..)
So I want to know, why does my brother hate my bf? I think it's because he never has had a girl friend because he's been over weight , but he has lost weight and he looks great. He has low self asteem also..So I just want to know what should I do ? Whats my brothers issue?
Sorry its so long..please reply though. Thank you :3
Well you pretty much figured it out yourself. Though it could be anything. It could be because he is jealous or because he doesn't get to hangout with you as much anymore.
I'd say that you should talk to him about it. Nicely. No arguing and if you think the conversation is getting too heated walk away and try again later. Anyways, ask him why he hates your bf. And if he says a reason which isn't true or doesn't make sense, call him on it. He'll eventually break and tell you the real reason. Ask him to try and get along with your bf and if he can't, oh well, because you are NOT breaking up with him.
So, starting off- i am interested in writing (ANYTHING - Stories, plays, poems, articles, reports etc.) and also in Money-Making!
So, i was just contemplating and thought that would it be profitable to directly jump into paid articles, books, ebooks etc. Or would it be more profitable to gain fame by writing free articles, books, ebooks etc. ? Since my logic says that people who are rich (There are many of them!), would buy a random book, article to enjoy. So, in that case, is writing free, profitable?
I'd say do both. You can gain money by writing articles but also gain a reputation by writing for free books and other things. :)
My name is Jade and I've been wanting an interesting nickname. But I don't know much about interesting nicknames. Can someone please give me some good ideas on nicknames?
Really we couldn't give you a nickname unless we knew a little more about you. How about jewel? Cause jade is a type of jewel or jadeth. Jaded is actually a really good nickname too. :) or jay-d. Blue jay or jaybird. :P
Is it worth it? Will we turn out the same if I make the first move?
How am I supposed to approach him about taking this relationship further. We're best friends and we're like a couple, such as cuddling, holding hands, and talking about our personal lives, but excluding the title of boyfriend/girlfriend or any kissing/making out. I'm 50% sure he likes me and 50% he knows that I like him. But how do I tell him that I'm ready to START being able to kiss him, and call him my boyfriend.
We're both 18 by the way, freshman in college, and on Winter Break, and won't see each other for another 2 weeks.
Well in these next days until you see him think about your life with him. :) Make sure you don't want to just stay best friends.
What I say is just go for the direct approach. Take him somewhere or maybe go for a walk and tell him you really like him...and ask him how he feels about you. Chances are he likes you more than you think ;P so be bold and good luck!
I spent Thanksgiving alone, eating leftover spaghetti. I'm spending Christmas alone. I plan to spend New Year's alone. Both of my parents have passed away (car accident when I was 18) and I grew up as the only child. I don't have a lot of friends and I live by myself. I'm not really into big parties or clubs, but I feel bad when everybody talks about how great their Christmas (or whatever holiday) was and how they spent with with their family/friends and ate delicious foods.
What can I do on the holidays so that when somebody asks me at work about them it doesn't sound so dull and boring? All I ever say is, "Oh, it was fine. I spent the day alone and just relaxed," but everybody always makes a sad face and I know they feel sorry for me then. I wish I had something more to say so I could say something like, "...it was really fun!" or something. :\
So, any ideas for things I can start doing on the holidays so my life isn't so lifeless? I'm not really very social so it's not like I can somehow get invited to a special party, and I don't have family to get together and celebrate with. How can I change things so I don't have to be so embarrassed when people ask?
26/f
I'm sorry about you spending the holidays alone, no one should have to do that. :P
But my advice is: you have to try to be open to different ideas. Maybe you can go out or maybe date online and find some really nice people. For new years eve, ask someone or some people from work or something to go out :) Honestly, you can't just wait and have someone come knock on your door, you have to fix things yourself. :P so I hope your New Years Eve goes better.
Best of wishes!
xx
I am recently engaged, and also completely lost. Not in the planning, i am in control of all that. My husband to be's mother is more or less a nightmare. Unfortunately she found out about the engagement on facebook after we held the news from most of our friends and family for 2 days, because she and her boyfriend were too "busy" to call us back or pick up a phone. Let alone she may be his mother but is never really around, she lives in Indiana and i in NY. I feel like i should include her in the day, but how do i deal with her when she gives advice besides saying thanks thats a good idea, i'll write it down. Do i invite her boyfriend? or do i sit her with her ex husband and his girlfriend? His parents are not so much into the wedding that we have the idea for. I do not want an over the top wedding, but unlike his family, i also do not want a country hick wedding. HELP!!!! i need serious ideas.
Well because he is his mother, if you don't invite her, I'm sure you will here shit about it after the fact. Of course you invite her boyfriend if you invite her. Honestly, I'm sure she'd bring him anyways, she just seems like that kind of person. Set her straight from the beginning, tell everyone what kind of wedding you are going to have and that it is your special day, and don't budge for anyone, just yourself and your husband are in control of the wedding. When she gives advice, and be completely open to her ideas even if they seem horrible. If you don't like them say nicely "Thanks for the idea {insert name here} but I was thinking more along the lines of...." :)
Have fun and congradulations!! :)
I really want to get a kitten. The problem is that I have allergies, mainly seasonal allergies.So my question is, what breed of cat can I get that won't bother my allergies? I really want to get a cat from a shelter and not a breeder. So are there any types of cats that I can get there that wont bother my allergies?
There isn't a whole lot of cats that are hypoallergenic BUT here are a few:
The sphynx cat: really it's not a very cute cat, but it has little fur, so obviously the allergies wouldn't be a problem.
The siberian cat is another one. Which i'd recommend this one its cute and playful. Has lots of hair. :)
The Devon rex cat and Cornish Rex cat are two other ones that are also very nice to have.
However you can go to your doctor and theres a drug that you can get to help you with your allergy cat issues. It is called Fel D-1.
Good luck choosing the right kitten for you!!
i have did 7 ovalation calenders and they all gave me the same answer . i did it the first time i had my son and it worked my period came on the 18 and of this month and the ovalation calender said that i ovalate on the 25-28 of thix mnth . Can this be true ?
It could be absolutely true. Usually ovalation calenders are very accurate. But to be quite sure you ovulate a week after you finish your period. So you can calculate it that way as well :)
i need ideas for a fun way to ask a guy to a dance!
a group from my school is going to london a few days after christmas and we're both going so i thought it would be fun to ask him while we're there, but i cant think of a fun way to do it! if anyone has any ideas of how i could ask him while we're in London that would be awesome :)
Well you can ask one of the londoners how to say "Will you go to the dance with me?" in a different accent. Or you can learn how to talk british and ask him that way. Without getting a whole crew together and singing "will you go to the dance with me?" there isn't a whole lot of fun ways you can ask someone to the dance. But of course, the direct way is always the most certain way. But fun is good too :)
i am a Ghanaian.How can i have a very huge buttocks and my large breast reduced without having surgery
Well :) obviously you can start eating more. haha. But it'll increase your chance of more of a larger stomach. Anyways, ask a local doctor about the other options. I'm pretty sure there are pills out there to increase your hormone intake, and it'll make those areas larger. Birth control also does that as well.
Good luck.
hi so i am a sophomore in college and i need to get a laptop for school, to take notes, write papers etc. next semester i am taking chemistry, psychology, and history. i know for sure I'll be using it for psych. and history. so what kind of laptop would i need? i want one with lots of space, a good hard drive, doesn't weigh a lot, etc. so if you could give me some ideas that would be great. thanks!
Well i just recently got a Compaq today. And it works very well. It holds up to two MB but the RAM can be stored up to four MB which is pretty much a lot for writing papers and other things for school. It really is a great computer and it's really thin, and theres a program in here where you can take sticky notes :) and other things. It is about 400 dollars. But if you really want a GREAT one go to a local computer store and ask them for the best laptop with all of you needs. It'll probably cost up to maybe 700 maybe.
Good luck.
So there is this boy and I am not going to get much but he did like me at one point and I dont know if he does anymore so I am trying to move on but it is hard!!! and it would be easier but I lost my best friend last year because lets just say she went bad. She knew how to make her way around guys and she brought out the flirty side of me, now since I have lost her I am having the hardest time doing this on my own! I really need help! The guys I try to text including the one I don't know if he likes me anymore, when I text them I feel like I mess up and say stuff wrong. Liek the other night night, I text one of my ex boyfriends because I am starting to like him again so I figured I would try, and I tried to bring up something from the past and he replied something that made me feel stupid so now I think he thinks I am stupid and he hasnt acted like we are friends since then...! I really need help on getting my own self back and getting a boyfriend, I really need one and want one to get my life back together! Please help !---ThAnKs(:----!
Well technically you don't really need a boyfriend but I'm here to help so...:)
Who needs a "bad" friend to make you feel better anyways. Just be yourself. And a hint of advice if you are going to talk to your PAST boyfriends...never bring up the past. Everyone hates when the past is brought up because it is just that, the past. Apologize to your exboyfriend and move on. Eventually he will come to know everyone makes mistakes. :) Be flirty or find another friend that brings out that side of you again. :) take chances and move on. Just tell yourself that the guy that might not like you is taking to long and you need to get a move on. So :) be yourself, be flirty and wild, and have fun.
Good luck. :)
so i'm 18 and a girl. I'm not really a "party thrower".. i mean i have thrown parties before like birthday parties and such but none of them have been amazing or memorable. they've all been "blah" i guess you could say.
after my 16th birthday, i decided never to throw a party again because i tried to plan a great sweet 16 party but it turned out in a disaster, only 4 people showed up and my mom was chaperone and was very controlling about how loud the music was and what we were doing etc.
but my best friend convinced me to throw a new years eve party coming up soon. So my question is, how do i throw an unforgettable party? i already invited about 10-13 people and majority of people said yes. so that's around 9 people. what should i do to make it a blast? parents will be here with their friends too. so no alcohol or smoking. i'm not into that. my best friend and i are getting together soon to make a party music playlist. what else should i do? i don't really have anything in mind..
if you've thrown a successful party and it was really fun and people loved it, what did you do? please give me some tips and ideas :)
PS: I live up north so there's a lot of snow here and its very cold. and we wouldn't be allowed to leave my house either. majority of people are 17-18 years old, boys and girls.
thank you!
Well my answer would be to play some games. Maybe like truth or dare or spin the bottle? That's always fun. Maybe you could invite more people. Ask your friends to invite a couple more people. All i know is when parents are there they never make anything fun. :/ But just music, DANCING, don't forget to decorate hard core (that lightens the mood), a lot of food and drinks. :) and I guess thats all you can do. Be creative. :)
Good luck.