MissBonne's advice column

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Q: so i'm going to college next year and i currently have a fairly new toshiba laptop with windows...i was wondering if a mac would be better for college? i know they're better with graphics and such and i can use both but i've been using a pc longer. are there any college students who have an opinion on this?
please no answers from 13 year olds

It really depends - if you're just using a laptop for writing papers and researching or games - go for the PC

But if you're using it for computer graphics or multimedia, jump for the mac.

I'm currently using a PC and will be switching soon - so I say go for it.

Q: ok so i wanna propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. but i have 2 questiosn.

1.what stores can you buy really good engagement rings? like i know theres kay and zales but what else?

2. what should i do to propose really cute. like i was thinkinon valentines day..or like if i did wait till next xmas eve..under amistletoe or something. something really cute or creative. thanks soooo much

Ice.com and overstock.com have affordable rings. As for the proprosal, you can do it on a holiday - or make it completely unexpected and do it a few days before...

Q: Okay, I'm 16/f... I walked into a restaurant and they asked if I wanted the kids menu... for 11 & under! I am thin, have a young face, no shape, and the blonde curls don't help either! Any advice?

Say yes and enjoy the cheaper meal (oh, this works for movies too!)

Okay, but I know where you're coming from. It gets annoying doesn't it?

Watch how you dress, pinks/purple colors would look like a younger age. Wear appropiate makeup (the department store can make you over to appear your age).

The biggest help for me was SHOES! flip-flops, tennis shoes are a nono, but put on those high heels and you become an adult.

Q: I've been in love with this guy now (ever since 8th grade), I'm still in highschool. He's a teacher and I'm pretty sure he's into me. We touch and have our "moments". I promised his one of his family members that I wouldn't get him in trouble but lately we've been all over each other. He's so perfect in every way. What should I do?

Well, you know that is bad - he knows that is illegal and he'll lose his job, police trouble etc.

And you both know that eventually you will get caught, it happens - it always does.

That being said, do you still want to have a relationship? If yes, drop out of school. If no, then stop, stop now.

Q: Ok so I know when anybody says "I have a friend who..." they mean themselves. but im really talking about someone else here

so my friend travis and i were talking about taking midterms next week, and he said he heard about people taking chap stick and running it across the little black bars to make all the answers correct. i know it sounds stupid for me to ask this, but is he right? because there IS a possibility, but if its not true i dont want him to fail his exams, because he would have just wrote down random answers and used the chap stick.
please help me out

False.

Basically, if there is any other mark besides the pencil mark, the machine tells the instructor to hand grade it.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/scantron.asp

Q: I am still stuck on this issue. As you could see from my past questions, I need serious help with this issue. My husband does not accept me for my baptism. Even though I was like 5 and have not sinned and did not know the difference as I do now, does that make it wrong? I feel like I am going to lose my husband because of this. He will not leave me. This is my personal feeling. I want my husband to accept me fully. We have difference views on certain topics in the Bible. He does not believe certain things I have to say. He is always right. How am I suppose to know which interpretation is the right one? Was I baptised wrong? Should I follow my husband and his belief for the sake of our marriage and our future children and be baptised in his church? We are both Christians, but different kind of churches. But I only believe in one baptism. Should I not be baptised and just suck it up and go to church with him and forget it? I do not want to have to go to different churches and how could I raise my child that way? He will not leave his church and allow us to be "one" as marriage should be. I am willing to do this. What should I do? I am so lost. I don't know if I should talk to a therapist or what.

Basically, Eph states 4:5 that there is ONE baptism - but which one is the ONE?

Base the answers off of the Word (not just what you were told), since you are both Christians:

What does the word 'Baptism' mean?
In the original manuscripts of Scripture, all the various forms of the word baptize are translations from the Greek word 'baptizo', which comes from the root word 'bapto'. The usage of these words according to Greek Scholars is:
'bapto'
(1) to whelm, i.e. cover wholly with a fluid;
(2) in the New Testament only in a qualified or special sense, i.e. (literally) to moisten (a part of one's person).
(1) to immerse, submerge; to make whelmed (i.e. fully wet);
(2) used only (in the New Testament) of ceremonial ablution.

In the Word, baptism was never done on children - only adults. No, babies have no sin! They need no repentance and therefore have no need for Baptism.

http://www.revelations.org.za/Bap.htm
http://acharlie.tripod.com/bible_study/baptism.html

http://www.revelations.org.za/Bap.htm

Also, check out biblegateway.com and read through the scriptures regarding baptizing

http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=baptize&x=12&y=13

If anything, I would be baptized again - just a renewed mine and a renewed relationship together.

Q: 13/F
i take advanced swimming lessons and my teacher keep asking me to join the team but all i do is say i'll think about it.i want to join because there's a competition in march that takes place in my ex-boyfriend hometown,so i wanna join so i could see him again(to hopefully not beat the crap outta him if i do)but i don't because i would have to practice like 6 or 7 days a week and i live far from where practice is and i wouldn't be able to get a ride.so my question is what should i do?

Swim team is fun, great for the social life and keeps you healthy.

If the only reason you want to join is to beat your ex, then no - don't join.

But if you are interested in meeting new people and looking toned/healthy - then go for it. As for a ride, perhaps another swim team member can help out.

Q: WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED ADVICE ON THIS. PLEASE DONT LEAVE BECAUSE ITS TOO LONG. YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER FOR ME. PLEASE READ.

ok. so me and my mom fight non-stop. screaming yelling crying. the usual. its weird because we used to be really close and would always go shopping and crap and i would tell her everything yatta yatta. well i really want to be her "friend" er w/e. i mean not like besties but id like to at least have a positive relationship. seriously. usually, like as of right now, i hate her guts. with a strong passion. she ruins my life.

does anyone know anything i can say to her that lets her know i need her? this sound really cheesey i know. but its like ruining my life not to have a positive relationship. i mean. i get grounded for the f-ing retaredest things (if thats even a word..) and because of her i wont be able to spend this coming weekend with my boyfirend. (its our anniversary) and im superrr pissed.

anything.. please. this is serious. i hate my life. and its all because of her. i honestly wish my parents would divorce just so i wouldnt see her as much. but the only thing is she says that if my parents were to divorce (for the like 3rd time) she wouldnt let me live with my dad. yeah right. i would refuse to live with my mom.

ughhhh. please help..

oh and by the way;
if it makes a difference, she has cronic depression and doesnt always take her medications (which pisses me off). so shes always bitchy. my dad agrees with me that sometimes she goes over the top.

I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP!

xoxo
14/f

While you might not control her - you can control yourself, it takes two to fight.

When you are arguing, don't yell. In fact, lower your voice to just above a whisper and she should match your tone.

Sit down with both parents, call a family meeting to verbally discuss the house rules and write them down. Also, follow with the repercussions (you missed curfew, then you get extra chores, etc)

Switch to say 'I' statements and not 'you' statements. Example, instead of saying 'you don't understand. Its not fair' say 'I don't understand. I feel that xx, so I should xx'

Also, bring up the opinion about her medications and how you are concerned that she doesn't take her meds and it affects her relationship.

Q: im the person who asked about the english class. this is a completely different question, but its more serious than the other.

well..today was the first day back to school. my math class on the schedule is algebra 3. when i went to algebra 3 today, i showed my teacher my transcript because thats what we have to do. she saw my previous algebra grades and they were 97's. she asked me why i wasnt in Honors Analysis instead (which is a more advanced class than algebra 3), and i said its cuz i wanted to be in algebra 3. well, she somehow got someone to call my mom to arrange a schedule change from algebra 3 to honors analysis. my mom agreed.

so when i got home from school, my mom told me and i started crying. its because last semester i took an AP class and i was completely overstressed to the point of depression, and i wanted to take a lighter load of classes this semester.

my mom wont change her mind. i dont know what to do..im very upset and emotional because i dont want to go through another long, very difficult semester.

please help. :[

Talk to your counsler. You know you limits and stand firm on this. You do not need to be stressed out this semester...

Q: I am 17 and I met this guy at a bar. He is 21 and I just wonder if other people think that is too old for me. Should I go out with him again? We exchanged phone numbers and we have talked on the phone. Any and all responses are appreciated.

There are a few red flags here, he's 21, you met him at a bar and you're asking about the age gap.

If you meet guys at a bar, you get guys who like to drink. While in some cases - its not bad, but most aren't the type of guys you need to date.

If you told him you're 17 and you know he's 21, meeting at the bar only leads to one thing. If you're just game for hooking up, then go out with him and talk to him again.

Next, if you were comfortable with the age gap, you wouldn't be looking for reassurance here.

Personally, I wouldn't go out with him again. At 17, he'll be taking advantage of you.

Q: I get made fun of a lot because I have red hair so people call me firecrotch AND Im not very pretty. I look like a fish. Anyway, guys on my bus are always making fun of me..and I want to know what I say to them. Swearing isnt working - they just mock me and it just gives them a reaction.

Those guys are jerks and will always be jerks. Ignore them, and when they get no reaction from you - then they'll pick on someone else.

Q: fake lip rings? is there such a thing? where can i gt one? besides online? i dont want my mom to know. SHE'D FLIP

More links:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=302602

Side note though, mom's will usually find out - let her know you bought a fake one instead of doing a real one. It'll be better than actually piercing your lip.

Q: ok seriously my parents are trying to control my life! i hate it! there in there 50's and 50 years ago they didnt really have all the things that teens go through now...what i mean is they didnt have alot of peer presure and all that good stuff (not) anyway they think they know whats its like to be a teenager in this time period..everything they say is like something you would hear in a 50's movie. ive tried telling them they dont know whats going on in teenage world and there like yeah we know more than you think...tonight my best friend for 9 years was haveing a little party and my mom wouldnt let me go because she didnt trust the people there...there like not letting me live my life. there not letting me be a kid. i hate it. so my question is how am i supposed to deal with this? please help

You parents know that you act differently with your peers than you do by yourself. Basically, you take more risks with other people and your mom has valid reasons for not letting you go to that party.

Ask them how they don't trust and go from there. Also, engage in conersation with them about certain risks (drugs, sex etc) and what you would do in those situations.

Next, start inviting more of your friends over the house for family dinners or just to hang out. The more your parents get to know the people you hang out with, the more likely you can go out.

Q: I have a cousin who's 15. Her birthday is coming up and she loves to read. She's into fantasy books, adventure and romance type books. Is there any books or series you would recomend. PLEASE help! I have absolutely no clue what to get her.

Oh, everyone already mentioned good ones

His Dark Materials, by Phillip Pullman (not so much romance, but fantasy/adventure)
Tamora Pierce is great! The Alanna series is wonderful (fantasy, adventure and romance geared towards a young adult)
Sharon Shinn has an angel series which I absolutely enjoy. Fantasy, adventure and romance but its a little bit older reading than Tamora Pierce.
Jenny Lykins has a time travel romance which is also fun.

Q: basically my sister who is 19 tells on EVERYTHING that i do. if she doesnt like it, she'll find a flaw in it, tell my mom and i'll be banned from something i love...like mcr -- my life depends on them and their music is so moving. i just love them. but my sister said that they were morbid and all the bs and now i can't listen to them. which led to a much bigger mess. but she listens to evanescence with me who talks about bleeding, being raped, dying etc. yet since SHE likes evanescence, she won't say anything about it. so it's pretty much my sitster ALWAYS telling on everything i do if she doesn't like it. i wish that she would just get out fo my business and stop telling on me. i'm 14 by the way. well theres this kid named John who is pretty good friends with my sister and let me tell you,,,he is one of a kind of bitchy people and tells everything i do to my sister..he blackmails me saying that he';ll tell my sister if i do this or that. well last year was okay because he was in high school and i was in middle school. now that we're both in high school its a little...effing messed up. i can't do anything or say anything or wear or do anything without him finding a flaw, reporting it to my sister and my sister telling on me to my mom...so at school i have to just be a perfect little girl that my family wants just so he can't find something bad and tell my sister. it's pretty annoying and i don't know how to stop him from telling my sister. and i can't tell him to not tell my sister stuff because he'll tell my sister i said that and my sister will be like "omg what bad thing are you gonna do?" *tell tell* and i hate talking because my sister won't listen to me and tell my mom what i said to her and then my mom will go "omg what have you done that you don't want me to know?" so heh. it's kinda iffy...what should i do. i'm just rawr.

First, avoid John. He sounds like trouble, so don't even talk to him.

Next, sit down with your sister. Ask her to stop ratting on you and you will not tattle on her. If she won't stop, play her game. Casually, ask your mom "Is it if my sister and I listen to songs about bleeding and dying?" 'Course, mom will say no and ban that music.

Perhaps, take it to a step further and talk to your mom. As long as its not emergency, ask her to ignore the persistant tattle tailing from your sister.

Q: is it true that they were going to legalize pot on april 20th? is that why its national weed day?

First, April 20th is a Friday - if anything they would make changes like this on the beginning of the week. No, the states are set against using legal pot for personal reasons. You would have heard about it on the news already.

Other reasons besides the police code rumor was that the smoker's used Hitler' birthday for the "official" day.

Q: It's true that you can't get pregnant when you have sex when you're on your period because your egg releases, right? Or no... ? Thanks!

Wrong. The only sure fire way not to get pregnant is not having sex.

Q: im 13/f 100 pounds and like 5'4 im sooo thin i have no boobs and a semi butt its soo annoying cuause guys dont even notice you unless you got a ncie figure how can i gain weight and get more of a figure and dont say be the way you are cause well thats lame no ofence

Push up bra? Don't work out and eat a lot?

Serious though, more curves -> more attention with guys -> making out/sex.
And honestly, if you get to that last step - the guy isn't going to stop and say you need to be bigger.

He's just happy he's getting some...

Q: Ok so my friends do these things they call bashings. It's where we sit in a circle and tell esch other what we don't like each other. I hate it i think it's ridiculous casue i feel like their trying to stream line me so i'm some form of perfect friend robot.
They say it's so we don't talk behind each others back. Whenever i say i think it's stupid and it hurts me they just say i'm so sensitive and can't handle critism.
What do you think is it a good idea or stupid?
What should i do?

You're right - its stupid and demeaning. There is a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. They're just giving cristicism - and that doesn't help anyone.

Saying I don't like you because you're always late. It makes me feel ____ and ____. You should do ______ is better than saying I don't like you because you're lazy and late all the time.

Yeah, stay away from that.

Q:
Ok so I'm in the "Grand View Teen Summer Book Club Program." We have a different category each week. This week's category is romance novels. Our book is "Maid Marian" by Elsa Watson. Knowing how most Robin Hood stories are, I have my doubts about it But the president, who selects the books, says it's good. Could someone here give me some background on the book? Is it a sappy soap-opera-type romance novel? Is it historically accurate? Is it too treacly? Are the characters believable enough to think that they lived in the 12th century? Would a 16-year-old enjoy it? Is it what you would call "a Robin Hood flick"? Thx a lot, and please, I do NOT need anyone telling me, "If you want to know, read the book." Heck, I *HAVE* to read the damn thing! Duh!

Looks like a romance from Maid Marian's point of view. It gives you the 'behind the scenes' point of veiw on how she and Robin met and interacted.

Seattle Times states "Charming, with a brave and feisty heroine. This damsel in distress won't sit around and wait to be rescued."