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controlling my life ( this is long )
ok seriously my parents are trying to control my life! i hate it! there in there 50's and 50 years ago they didnt really have all the things that teens go through now...what i mean is they didnt have alot of peer presure and all that good stuff (not) anyway they think they know whats its like to be a teenager in this time period..everything they say is like something you would hear in a 50's movie. ive tried telling them they dont know whats going on in teenage world and there like yeah we know more than you think...tonight my best friend for 9 years was haveing a little party and my mom wouldnt let me go because she didnt trust the people there...there like not letting me live my life. there not letting me be a kid. i hate it. so my question is how am i supposed to deal with this? please help
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Unfortunately, there was plenty of peer pressure when your parents were young (just watch some of the movies made about it in that time era), and that may be where some of their distrust comes from. Parents remember well the times they or someone they knew made choices their parents disapproved of. I think that MissBonne's advice to have your friends over is a good one - that way your parents begin to see them as people rather than just possible problems. If you feel that you can't talk to your parents about your feelings - try writing them in a letter (when you are calm).
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You parents know that you act differently with your peers than you do by yourself. Basically, you take more risks with other people and your mom has valid reasons for not letting you go to that party.
Ask them how they don't trust and go from there. Also, engage in conersation with them about certain risks (drugs, sex etc) and what you would do in those situations.
Next, start inviting more of your friends over the house for family dinners or just to hang out. The more your parents get to know the people you hang out with, the more likely you can go out.
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kid down there calmm downn kids asking for advice not a lecturee anywaysss i have the same issue but i got smart and make up lies and just walk to places i need to be so they dont see that theres a party or w.ee going on but dont be like incredibly wild causr you dont want your parents to find out u liedd soo yeah lie but be smartt
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I am a mom. I am 28 years old. I have a 16 year old niece whom I relate to more than the adults around me. I tell you that so you know where I am coming from. I am going to probably say things you don't like, but it is just how things are. This is a long response, and it includes how I managed to live my own life. Hopefully I will tell you things that will help as well.
So, first, until you are 18 your parents are allowed to control your life. It sucks, but it is the way things work in the United States.
I am going to guess you are either an only child or the oldest child. Parents tend to be overprotective of those children. They haven't had any other experience with parenting and they really want to do what is best. Sometimes they go overboard.
As for not having peer pressure and such in their youth, well, that is so not how it is. A person in their 50's would have been a teen in the 60's. In that time, drugs were all over. Peer pressure was just as strong then as it is now.
No, they don't know all about being a teen in this time. The main difference is technology and also that there is less community. Your parents don't know your friends' families like their parents knew their friends. So, it is harder to trust people. I would even guess, though, that their friends did drugs and such and so they are keeping you away from parties to protect you from the world they knew.
Another thing is that is is really not safe in a lot of areas to go to a party on New Year's Eve. There are a lot of stupid people in the world. Many of them are getting drunk tonight. Then they will be driving. You could be on your way home while they are. It is very dangerous.
As for sounding like a 50's movie, that is another thing about parents going overboard. Those movies and shows give an idea of a "perfect" family. Parents want the best for their kids, and this is what many think the best is supposed to be.
Ok, now here is what you need to do to help your situation:
Understand that your parents are human and only trying to do their best. Make sure they know you understand this, without going overboard yourself.
Have your parents meet your friends' parents. Then they will trust your friends more and let you do more. Knowing the other parents also makes them feel safer. If something happens to you, they know who to call. And, just so you don't worry, you should know that they will not check on you unless they are really concerned.
Make sure they know that they can talk to you about their concerns. Listen to them. Really listen. It will be a pain in the @$$ for a while, but then they will lighten up because they will trust and respect you more.
Talk to them. Let them know what is going on in your life. It doesn't have to be everything. Just enough that they feel like they are a part of your life. Then they will let you live it.
Let your parents have the phone numbers to reach a couple of your friends and their parents. Again, this is so they feel like they can check on you. The more you give them willingly, the less likely they are to use it.
Keep your grades up as best you can. Parents like this and think it means their kid is less likely to get in trouble.
Because I did these things when I was a teen, I got to live my life. If I didn't want to go to school, I just told my mom and she would drop me off at the beach. This was as long as it didn't affect my grades.
On Fridays, I almost never came home from school. I would go to a friend's house instead. I didn't come home until Monday after school. My mom knew how to find me, so she didn't worry.
I did a lot of things my mom didn't know about until I was legally not her responsibility and could tell her everything. Because I showed I could be trusted, and my friends could too, it all went unnoticed.
And remember, if all this fails, you only have to put up with it until you are 18.
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Get over yourself.
Wait until you're eighteen and then go do whatever the hell you want to. At least wait until you're legal to go to stupid parties. It's less of a liability for them that way.
I am purposely staying in tonight so that I don't get killed by a drunk driver. Los Angeles has so many parties that it is a real risk.
In that time period (if they're 50, then this would be the late 60s-70s), there were a LOT of drugs and raves, and they don't want you to be involved in that.
"they dont know whats going on in teenage world." Things really have changed for the worse. They'd have to live under a rock in the middle of nowhere to not know what is going on today.
On a side note, please type correctly; this was really hard to read.
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I think that she didn't let you go because of the simple fact that it's New Years Eve and a big thing of tonight is going out and getting drunk. Plud drunk driving rates have gone way up since the 60's. Your age is probably a problem. And if your friends are driving, it's probably not your friends your parents don't trust, it's the other jack asses on the road they don't trust. Your parents are just trying to look out for you while they can.
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