I am a 20 year old female, and I am a great listener. My friends always come to me for advice, and you can too. Ask me whatever you want, I will be happy to try to help you with ANY problem or dilemna. I will do my best to give you a great answer. Whatever you ask, I will never judge or make fun of you - I will be honest and respectful with you, telling you my advice with a kind and rational answer. I have traveled all over, had many unique opportunities and experiences, and have great friends from many different places all over the world. All the traveling has taught me a lot about different kinds of people and I have gained a lot of insight and perspective throughout it all. I'd like to think that some of what I have learned will be helpful to other people, and that I can offer advice that takes into account all that I have come across in my 20 years, both from my experiences and the experiences of those around me. I was also an elite athlete, so I have some experience in fitness/training/health questions as well. Thanks for visiting my column! Have a fantastic day!!
Gender: Female
Location: USA
Occupation: Professional performer, student
Age: 20
Member Since: March 5, 2005
Answers: 100
Last Update: March 1, 2006
Visitors: 9878
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karenR
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hey guys! i need some cute ideas on how to ask a guy to the sadies dance. its when the girl asks the guy and they wear clothes that match eachother. just in case ya didnt know. anything BESIDES decorating there car, and there bedroom.. something random and cute. (link)
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What about having a bouquet of floweres delivered to him in class with a note on them? Or maybe decorate his locker at school. At my school, girls just ask the guy to Sadies, but it seems like they get a little more creative at your school. Here's a few more ideas:
-Have it announced over the loudspeaker at school
-Does he play sports? Fill his sports bag or sports locker at school with candy and a note.
-Make him work for his date! Lead him on a scavenger hunt. Start with a note in his locker, that has a clue on it that leads him to the next one. Leave candy or some other little gift with each clue. Make the clues eventually lead to you, holding a sign asking him out.
-Do you have a picture of the two of you together? Put it in a cute frame and put it in his locker, or in him room, wherever. Attach a note that says "Don't we look cute together? Let's go to Sadies!" If you don't have a pic with him, get a pic of him, and cut out a pic of you and put them together as best as you can. It will still have the same effect.
I like the idea of decorating something, but if that is something that is way over-done at your school, try something a little more subtle, like the bouquet of floweres, or maybe a cute basket of his favorite cookies. It's a sweet gesture, and what guy can refuse cookies? :-)
And altought they probably will never admit it, most guys thinks its adorable to recieve flowers. Try something cutesy, like daisies, I wouldn't go with roses, they are too serious for this particular situation. Hope that helped, good luck! If you get a chance, let me know how it goes!
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i used to be good at basketball until certain circumstances in my life forced me to give it up for a long period of time.
i'm in love with it again; but unfortunately i am badly out of practice. still decent, but not great.
is it possible (please look at the age*) for me to improve, and regain my old skill? obviously i am going to practice- but will simply practicing do it?
i understand that this is all very general, but please just tell me what you know.
also, any general tips on how to get better at basketball (exercises, etc) would be very much appreciated.
*sixteen/female
thanks in advance. (link)
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Of course you can be great at basketball again! Where there is a will, there is a way! You are certainly young enough to get right back where you left off, and to improve immensely from there. I don't know specifics about basketball technique training, but to excel in any sport, you need to be in great shape. In addition to practicing dribbling and shooting, work out on a consistent basis. Arms, abs, legs, back...they are all important. Also work in some cardio excercise and build up some good stamina. Do you have friends that play basketball well? Ask them to practice with you, it is always more motivating to work with someone, and it will help inspire you to be the best you can be. Don't give up, you need to truly believe you can do it. Half the battle is confidence in yourself. I was having some trouble a while ago wondering if I was doing the right thing as an athlete, and I had no confidence that I could do it, and was having trouble keeping focused. I read a great book and it put it all into perspective. I really believe that as an athlete, the mental aspect of your training is extremely important. I would highly reccommend this book... it's called 'In Pursuit of Excellence' and it is written by Terry Orlick. Honestly, it will make a difference. Try it.
As for improving your basketball technique, I wish I could be of more help in that department. But if you've done it before, you can do it again. Maybe ask some of the guys on your school's basketball team if they would mind helping you out. Or, go watch some of their practices and see what kind of drills and excercises they do, and learn from that. Hope that helped a little bit, good luck!
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whenever im talking to this guy i like on the phone or online i never know wht to say!! its soo annoying and awkward. i dont know him tht well so what would be some things to say that would start a conversation?? please help! i rate 5s to answers that dont piss me off!!! (link)
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What are some things you have in common? Bring up common points of interest, like a class you both have together, or a teacher neither of you can stand, something like that. If you have trouble working it into the conversation, start with something like, 'Hey, did you understand tonight's homework?' Then, you can follow it with a comment about something that happened in class, etc...and hopefully the conversation will be rolling. Another approach that will make him get talking and guarantee a conversation is ask him to explain something to you. Does he do a sport? Bring that up and ask him something you don't really understand about it. For instance, 'I have always wondered, when you play soccer, what constitutes a penalty...like, what are specific things you aren't allowed to do?' This, hopefully, will get him interested in the convo because it will be something he enjoys talking about because 1) it is about something he likes, and 2) it is something he is knowledgeable about so he will be comfortable talking about it. This gives you an oppurtunity to have a good discussion, and connect with your boy on something that is meaningful to him. If he doesn't play a sport, maybe ask him about a musical intrument he plays, or a club he is active in. Anything goes.
Other random questions for it the conversation is lacking spark:
-Favorite TV shows or movies
-What you did last weekend
Here is another idea that will make for a great, and amusing conversation. I would save this idea until you are more comfortable talking with him, though. Ask him if he wants to play a game, and when he says 'Sure,' tell him that you are going to alternate asking each other questions, and no matter the question you have to answer it honestly. Come up with creative, funny questions, like ones that start with 'Would you rather...?' Or, ask him things you've been dying to know. It's a fun game, and you will learn alot about each other, and maybe end up with some amusing inside jokes that you can laugh about later. Hope this helps, and good luck!
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my lower back really really hurts. my mom gave me some of her pain meds but they arent working. some of my friends are saying that i might have a slipped disk and the doctors have to put it back in place. first of all what do they do and does it hurt? (link)
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I used to get really bad lower back pain because of the stress my back took during the sport I do. I would go to a chiropractor/ physical therapist once a week, or every other week. It was usually caused because I had done something to throw the alignment of my back off, and the discs would be twisted the wrong ways. All it would take to fix is a little adjustment, just like a special way of cracking your back in specific spots. To also help, I would wear heating pads. They last about 8 hours, and they velcro around your back, you can wear them under your clothes, you probably won't even be able to notice them. They are called ThermaCare, and you can get them at drug stores. Sometimes, if you sleep with them on, your back won't be as stiff and sore in the morning. I was also on a medication to keep any inflamation (swelling) down that could possibly be in my back. It was called Bextra, it was a perscription. But ask your doctor, or chiropracter about it, maybe it could help you. Also ask about if Motrin, or Ibupofin would help. Another possibility is that your lower back may be weak, and if that is the case, there are exercises you can do to make it feel better, and strengthen it. A physical therapist can help you with that. Make sure your posture is correct, as well, it is suprising what good posture can do for you. You may be standing or sitting all the time in a way that puts unnecessary pressure on your back. Ideal posture would be one in which your back is in a straight, neutral position, without slouching, and without overarching. Your shoulders should be down and back, and your head up.
Hope some of that helps! I've gone through alot of back problems, and alot of therapy and doctors for it, so please leave me a message in my inbox if you have any more questions or are confused about anything I said. Good luck, and I hope you feel better. Take care!
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im 14/f i love in washington.. i moved here from texas in like the 4th grade.. and for spring break im going back there to visit. im quite pale and alot of girls there are tan.. i dont want to stand out and be really white compared to them.. so how do i get tan without getting orange!?!?! thats the last thing i want to be! -thanks, i rate* (link)
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I'm really pale too, so if you are going to go to a tanning salon, start out with a small amount of time for a few days per week. Gradually work your way up to larger amounts of time, still going a few days a week. This is what I have to do so I don't get burned. The high pressure beds are supposed to have less chance for getting burned, but I haven't tried them, so I wouldn't know for sure. If you don't want to risk harming your skin, opt for Mystic Tanning. It's like those tanning lotions, but sprayed on evenly. Alot of tanning salons have it now. And get a slightly darker makeup for your face, and maybe a bronzer too. Don't worry about fitting in with the rest of the girls. It's really not that big of deal. Alright, good luck with the tanning! Hope I helped a little.
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hey, i need some help. i'm a 16-yr-old girl, 110 lbs, and 5'6. i'm really skinny. i guess there's some good from that, like not worrying about eating something yummy with a huge amount of calories in it. but still, i want to gain some weight before i go to college next semester (i'm graduating early). the thing is, i will probably be one of the yongest people there and i'll look very small among all those 18-20-something-yr-olds. what can eat that's healthy and rich in calories at the same time? and how can i make myself look a little older without being fake? i know, its silly but i already feel like a baby in my senior class, i don't want to feel like that in college. (link)
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For gaining weight, don't just automatically go for foods high in fat and calories. You still need to eat healthy. Figure out how many calories you would eat in a normal day and add 500 to it. Try to eat foods that are high in protein, and drink lots of water. People say that the water is important because it gives you the energy you need to gain that weight. You might want to try supplemental drinks. They are used for people trying to gain or maintain weight, and some of them don't taste too bad either. I would try Ensure, or Boost. Both come in alot of flavors. Maybe try drinking one or so of those a day. Working out is really important too. Muscle gain will equal weight gain, and will make you look bigger and stronger, so get to your local gym and get on a work out program!
As for looking older, wear some makeup, but don't overdo it. I would go to one of the makeup counters at a department store and explain your situation. Most makeup counters will give you a free makeover so you can see if you like it before you buy it. They can show you how to do it so you look older, without having to put pounds of it on. Before you go to college, you might also want to get an older haircut. Sometimes a change in hairstyle can make all the difference! Good luck, hope that helped a little bit.
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is it normal to every so often not have your period for a month? i have never had sex and im 14 thanks.. (link)
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If you have just gotten your period, it is normal for it to be irregular for up to a year or so before your body gets on a regular schedule. I know alot of girls who, for about a year when they got their period, would skip a month every once in a while. If you have had your period for a while though, and it's frequently irregular or skipping months, you might want to bring it up with your doctor at your next check up. Another possible answer to this is that women need to have at least 10-12 percent body fat to maintain healthy bodily functions and to continue having their period. If it is possible that you may be under this percentage, that could be why you are skipping months sometimes. Try and make sure your nutrition habits are healthy. Hope this helped. If you are still concerned, talk to your mom or another female adult that you trust. They have been through this before, also.
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ok i have had this boyfriend for 3 months almost 4 months now. and you see everyone is like at 5 or 6th months you should have sex. but i dont want to. i mean i'm only 14. i love him alot. alot. alot. but i mean all we do now is really is talk and make out which is enough for me but i mean should i do other stuff? and everyone says that me and my boyfriend are gunna get married. we barly knew each other before we started going out and now were like best friends and always over each others houses. its great. but latly everyone is asking why we dont do stuff. hes kinda shy and i've never done anything like "that" before. sorry its soo long. but please what should i do? (link)
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Please, please, please don't do anything you don't feel ready to do. Don't base what you and your boyfriend do on what everyone else says. Let your relationship develop at it's own pace. Based on what you wrote, it does not seem like you are ready for it, and besides if you are both satisfied with how the relationship is right now, then why change it? You are very young, and a relationship of such intimacy can get very complicated, and could even ruin the great relationship you seem to be having currently. From what you wrote, it is not your boyfriend who is pressuring you, it is your friends. That's ridiculous. Don't let your friends control your relationship with your boyfriend, that's something that should be between you and him - NOT them. Next time the subject comes up, say something like, 'Listen, I appreciate your concern and interest in our relationship, but I really don't want to discuss the private parts of our relationship anymore. We will do what we think is best, and do what we are ready for.' This should get the point across that you don't want them pressuring you. And for what you said about everyone saying you should do it at 5 or 6 months, that's not true. It is different for every couple, and plenty of couples wait until they are married to have sex, which is great. It's a big decision, and one you shouldn't take lightly. In my opinion you are too young, and it would just complicate the relationship. If you both are happy taking things slow, then let it be. Also, the majority of high school relationships don't last, so don't base your decision on the idea that you two are going to get married. Again, I can't stress enough that you shouldn't do ANYTHING you don't feel ready for or don't want to do. I think its great you are hesitant, there is nothing wrong with that. I would hold on to your virginity, if I were you. There is no getting it back once you lose it. Hope that helps. Please feel free to leave me a message in my inbox if you need more advice, I'm more than glad to help. Take care!
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I am 13/f, 14 in july, but i took a baby-stting class for 2 days at a saint francis hospital...well now that i have done that, i dont know what to do! i mean theres like nobody i can babysit! anybody know a site that i can go to thats like a teen babysitting line or soemthing haha!?!? (link)
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First, you need to make your babysitting skills known. Talk to relatives, or friends parents, and mention the babysitting class you've taken, and ask them to put in a good word for you if they know someone with little kids. Maybe your parents, relatives, or friends parents have coworkers that have little kids. If you ask around enough, you will find some connections. Don't be pushy or pester people, just make sure they know you are available and qualified. One of the best possible places to look is in your own neighborhood. This is ideal because, since your young, you can't drive yet. If you know a family in your own neighborhood you wouldn't need a ride. Also, if you belong to a church, check and see if any of the members need a babysitter. Often, the church will have a newsletter that says current happenings and services needed by chuch members. Ask if you could put a paragraph in there about babysitting services. Hope that helps, good luck!
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ok i need help......when should you kiss a guy? i mean when your dating...on the second date? cuz i will have my second date w/ him soon and i dont know if i should kiss him or not. soo which date should i kiss him on??
~confuzzed (link)
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It's totally up to you! Kiss him when you feel ready. Don't feel pressured to kiss him by a 'certain date.' If you really like him, you'll know when it's the right time. I don't think the second date is too soon to kiss if you like him. It's all about timing. If you would rather keep the relationship on a slower pace, don't rush into anything. If you feel comfortable, I would go for it. Alot of people will kiss on the first date, while others will wait many dates before they kiss. There really is no set rule. I know this sounds cheesey, but just follow your heart! Good luck!
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Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend (I ama female, if you were wondering). I'm 16 and he is 15. Although, it was a teenage relationship, we did love each other. It might not have been that deep and meaningful kind where people get married, but it was love nonetheless. Whenever we hung out, I'd get butterflies and I would be happy, something I haven't felt in a while. Towards the last few days before I broke up with him, he wasn't really there. I felt like he was avoiding me, he wouldn't tell me anything when I did ask him, and we barely talked. Then the day before I did end it, he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me or not, which made me decide to end it. On the day we broke up, I cried...a lot. Then, that was it. Every now and then I'll think about him and get a bit sad, but otherwise I am very happy. Being as he was my first love, I relaized there will be others and that I should move on, and I am trying to be positive.I can't help but feel guilty that I am not that sad over our breakup. Any advice? (link)
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Don't feel guilty. If you weren't happy with the relationship, there was no need in prolonging it. The fact that you aren't miserable over the breakup and that you are content right now just proves that you have made the right decision. You can't control how you feel, and you can't make yourself feel sad about something you aren't sad about. It's too bad he decided he couldn't be friends anymore, but that is his loss. You obviously feel you made the right decision, and you seem like a very mature girl. Every breakup doesn't have to have a long, drawn-out recovery period...so be glad that you were able to move on quickly! Hope I helped...
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Okay me and this guy have been friends for this whole school year and we've been pretty tight. I really like him but I'm not sure he feels the same. He smiles at me a lot, we talk in class all the time. And he used to never talk to me at my locker, but now he does. He gives me back rubs in class and I don't know what to do. How can I talk to him and let him know how I feel without wreckin' our friendship? (link)
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It definately sounds like he likes you as more than a friend. I think you should tell him how you feel, just take the chance. More likely than not, he will say he feels the same. Find a time when you can talk to him in private, then go for it. Tell him how much you value him as a friend, and that you never want to lose him as a friend. Then admit to him that lately you've been have feelings for him as more than a friend. Ask him if he feels the same way. Honesty is always the best policy, just be upfront about it. Good luck, hope everything works out.
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I cant get a foundation to match my skin, because I am so pale. Does anyone know any good brands? (link)
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I'm really pale too, and I finally found a brand of makeup that I adore. I had been wearing their eye makeup and lipstick for awhile but just recently bought their foundation. Its awesome. It's called M.A.C. and you can find it at department stores (you know, those makeup counters). They have a ton of shades, and types of foundations for all different skin types. They have makeup artists working at the counter to help you pick out the perfect match for you. Its a little more expensive than brands like Covergirl or Maybelline, but its totally worth it. I think I paid around $25 for mine. Good luck, hope that helped a little.
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ok my parents seriosly hate each otha and idk y!they always swear at each other and i cant take it nymore!!i cant sleep at night because they r always fighting!!wat do i do???i need advice!!
(link)
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I think you need to have a straight forward talk with your parents. Let them know how uncomfortable it makes you when they are fighting so much, and how much it hurts you to see them say hurtful things to each other. Tell them you love them both, and wish they would try to solve whatever problem they are having. Maybe they need to see a marriage counseler. They probably do not realize that their fighting is having such an affect on you, so bring it to their attention. I'm sure they don't hate each other, every marriage goes through difficult times, though. Talking to them about it is definately a good start. I hope everything works out for you!
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Hey! Im looking into seeing broadway shows, i love watching them and i was wondering if anyone had some they'd like to recomend!?
THanks a lot! (link)
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Here are some I would reccommend that I saw and thought were good:
Phantom of the Opera (It was incredible, it gave me chills.)
Lion King (also very good)
Chicago
Les Miserables (It's a classic)
Grease
Stomp (It's a very unique show, highly entertaining.)
Hope that helps, enjoy whatever show you end up seeing!
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I like 2 guys and i dont know what to do because i dont know which one i like more! what should i do? (link)
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I suggest making a list. Write down on two separate sheets of paper what you like about each of them. Also list any negative things you can think of for each of them. When you're done, compare your lists. Does one of them have more superficial qualities (like looks, popularity, etc.) while the other has deeper qualities (kind, sweet, funny)? If so, choose the one who makes you feel special and is a caring person over one who you like more because of how he looks or how 'hot' he is. Look at the negatives, also. Does one have a reputation for being a player? If one does, I would suggest not choosing him because he could easily break your heart. Alright, I have alot of suggestions for you, but try that first. If you want to leave me a message in my inbox giving me some more information on the two guys I could help alot more. Ok, good luck!
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M/18. Me and my best friend talk on messenger all the time and we both have talked about how we have feelings for each other. Before we knew how we felt about each other, I could talk to her all day until my face turned blue. But now, I feel like I need to impress her since we will be starting something soon. So now whenever I am with her, it seems like I can't think of anything to say. It was so much easier when we were just best friends to get something out of my mouth. It's even getting more difficult on messenger. I don't know how to fix it. Somebody help me. (link)
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You really don't need to try and impress this girl. It seems like you already won her over by being yourself. She likes you for who you are, which is awesome. So just act normal! If you two were that comfortable around each other before and could talk to each other forever, it shouldn't be that hard to be able to return to that comfort level and get over the awkwardness. Just be yourself! If you still can't think of anything to say, think of some thought-provoking topics that will make conversation a little easier. Try something like, 'Did you hear about (insert current event or something)? What do you think about that?' Just something like that to get conversation rolling. It seems like you already got the hard part accomplished...she likes you! Now just relax and let things take their course. Good luck!
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What is a good way to ask a guy out? I really want to, but i'm not sure what a good way is. (link)
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Do you have any common interests? Find something you both like and and think of something you could do that involves that. Like, 'Hey, I really like (insert band name here) and you are the only other person I know that it really into them, would you want to go to the concert with me?' Thats just an example, though, it doesn't have to be a concert. Talk to him, and bring into the conversation the current movies that are playing. When he says, 'Oh, that one sounds really cool,' or something like that, just casually be like, 'Yeah, I really wanted to see that one too! Would you want to go see it together?'All guys I have talked to love it when a girl asks them out. It really shows confidence, which is something guys really like in a girl. Good luck, let me know how it goes!
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does anyone know and good, depressing, sad songs? not that im sad or anything, but i love listening to them, like sad songs by evanescence. does anyone know any other good ones? (link)
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Slowly - by Rustic Overtones
It's a great sad song.
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I have alot of dried skin on my face all of a sudden for no reason, so I stopped using a facial cleanser but it doesn't seem to help, I've tried a feew moisterisers and nothing is working, and I don't wear cover up or foundation or anything like that. Any advice on how to get my face moisterized? (link)
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First of all, don't stop washing your face. Thats really important for clear skin. Along with the moisturizers you have been trying, I would try a moizturizing facial mask, you can get them at drug stores, or pretty much anywhere. Make sure you get one that says it moisturizes your skin. There should be some that are specially formulated for that. Another thing that I think you should try is drinking more water. This dry skin could be coming from the fact that you are not getting enough water in your body, and that's what is causing the problem. Drink 8 glasses of water a day for awhile and see if it helps.
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