Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84201
Main Categories:
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Families
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ohk i have a bad case of ashy elbows ... anyhome remedies to make them less dry ?? thnx (link)
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Well if you don't have any exfoliating cream in the house then take some salt, mix it with, oooohhh salad oil or something liquid, even some moisturizing cream. Mix it in a small bowl until you have a paste.Then srcum your elbows with it. Hard, Do it today, and tomorrow AM. Then moisturize with a good moisturizer. That should take care of it.
Michele
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I just revealed our family seceret to the biggest blabber mouth in town. I told her that we thouhght [this other family] hated us and I told her why. See, the mother in this family had once refused to take me in her car at the bus stop when it was below zero degrees out. My dad is always talking about how low it is that she did that. I told this blabber mouth woman how we feel about it and now she might tell the lady!!! My parents are all like "I don't want to talk about it" What should I do? I already apologized a million times!!! I might have ruined my families reputation! (link)
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The woman who left you standing at a bus stop in zub zero weather is the person who did something wrong. Not your family. YOur family is right to be upset about it. I wouldn't worry about it. Who in their right mind would not agree that that woman was wrong and mean to leave you standing there. Just defend your position and your parents feelings about the whole thing. That is, if it comes up. It probably won't matter as much as you think it will.
Michele
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um michele, actaully my ex boyfriend didnt tell anyone he didnt tell anyone except his bestfriend which i can understand, he didnt say anything until i told him it was ok cuz by thne everyone already found out cuz his x found out from my friend and she spread it around everywhere (link)
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WEll honey, I hope they all soon forget about it, and they will, as soon as some else does something they think is worth gossiping about. You just hold your head up high, because you know what....boys do this sh*t all the time, and they can't get bad reputations. No one tells them they are going to be hookers when they grow up, (even though there are such things a male hookers.) So, just try to be brave, and this too will pass.
MIchele
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summers coming up and yes im typical, i want to lose fat and be skinny in a bathing suit.... any help i could get other then stupid people who think their funny saying to be anerexic or bulemic, i would appreciate it lol. tips on what exercises to do and what to eat would help. im 16 5'5" and i weight 145. thanks! (link)
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Well I have copied this question over six times already. But here goes. Give it a try, I know it works.
You need a two fold plan. Burn calories and tone or build muscles. Burning calories is any exercise of long duration. Running, walking, biking, skating, swimming. rowing. Any or a combination of all, for an hour at least 5 times a week. Then work with free weights. Low weights like 3 to 5 to 8 lbs will help tone muscles, higher weights will build muscles. (You can use cans of beans to start.)You don't want to work on building muscles until you have lost weight. Otherwise you build the muscles under the fat and you will not look better. GEt a book on weight lifting or go to www.about.com they have a section on weight loss and weight training, you can sign up for their free newsletter. If you are going to work out a home can you invest in a few hand weights and a work out bench. You can't do the right kind of exercises on the floor. Look for books by Joyce Verdral, PHD. She has books about weight lifing that explain everything, and they have pictures and all. YOu can find used books and old books on the web at www.half.com for very little money.
And finally, yo need to go on a very low fat diet, here is a basic one that I used for many years, and still try to follow. I know this works. I lost 45 lbs. in 5 months. The more fat you have the mor weight you will loose
Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. I mean the nutrition labels. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
french fries
NO FRIED FOODS
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat or no fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish baked or broiled or grilled. NO FRYING
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of whole grain bread, or pretzels or popcorn and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a smalll bowl of cereal with fat free milk as a snack after dinner. Or pretzels or popcorn
follow this NO CHEATING, and you will loose 10 lbs in two weeks.
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Good Luck to you. You go girl!
Michele
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hey .. well i got these like red things on my breast ... what are they and is it normal? thanks (link)
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YOu have to be more specific. Are they sore, how big are they? Did they just appear, or have you always had them? Are they itchy? Are they leaking any type of fluid?
Michele
Well are you prone to acne, do you have it anywhere else on your body, Back? face? If not, then I would say it is an allergic reaction to something. DId you start to use a new lotion, perfume, were you in the sun too much. Any of these things could cause a rash. If it is a rash try dabbing it with butter milk. If you have any, if not try whole milk or even yogurt. They are all good for your skin, and will calm it.
Michele
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Ok my face looks like a friggin pizza with extra pepperoni on it now..ugh gross..but yeah I never break out..it's just that right now, I'm going through alottaa stress..so does anyone have any home remedies to get rid of these little suckers..(toothpaste, hot water, umm idk..)just anything you would find in your home..I need to get rid of them by tomorrow (if possible!) they're humongo..ahh i will rate you a 5..like bam! -thankssss (link)
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Tea Tree Oil is a good home remedy for pimples but it is not going to work over night. Nothing will. Your skin cells die off and change every 28 days. If you start using a remedy now, in 28 days, your skin will look much better. Many of the over the counter remedies will work also, Benzoil peroxide, stridex, but again,and even if they are successful, they will still take 28 days.
Sorry to dissapoint you.
Michele
PS Tea Tree Oil smells, but it works.
Do not take it internally
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ok, I'm supposed to ask this really hutt guy out tomorrow and i dunno how!! All my friends are like "write a note, tell him directly" but im too scared to give him the note because he'll show it to other people and im waaaaayy to shy to ask him directly. so how should i ask him out? and trust me, i need to ask him out tomorrow. i really wanna be his girlfriend!!!! hellllllppp!!
i rate 5's for good answers. (link)
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Your right, don't put anything in writing, you'll be sorry. If your that scared then you are just going to have to wait for him to ask you out. But you can flirt with him and make sure that your available so he can ask you. Believe me, if he wants to he will. DOn't let your friends push you into it.
Michele
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My brother is 18 and has nowhere to stay. he is always in and out of jail. When we were little he used to threaten me. he is 5 years older than me and my half brother. I really don't want him to stay at our house because he is a CRIMINAL! I'm scared please help!!
P.S. I already tryed confronting my parents, didn't work.
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Gjohndoe (link)
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You can call the police if he comes any where near you. You don't need your parents permission to call them. Will your parents let you put a lock on your door? I really hope they listen to you and understand your fears. Five years older is a lot of years, and I'll bet he is much bigger than you. And since he is just a half brother, that gives him even less incentive to be nice to you.
Also if he brings drugs in the house your parents could get arrested too.
I feel bad for you. Your parents are not thinking straight. I wouldn't let him in my house, not if he were 18. At 18 his criminal behavior is his problem. DOn't take any chances. Do you have a cell phone. Do you have a phone in your room. Call the police if he comes anywhere near you. Even if you see him fighting with your parents and threatening them and you think it is going to get violent. Call the police. People like your brother are bullys, but they settle down in the fact of authority.
If he does hit you, the judge can make him move out of the house no matter what your parents say.
YOU can file a restraining order against him. YOOU talk to the cops if he gets arrested and say you want a RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM.
I hope this helps and good luck to you. I will pray for your safety.
Michele
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alrigh tim 13 and well im half a virgin ( i havent had sex but ive given something) and well it was with my x boyfriend and this was like in april of this year and people are still talking about it and every since then theres this group of boys in ym class that are all my friends but ever since that thing in april they've all been like well kinda giving me names and stuff like today they said im gonna be a hooker when i grow up, you know stuff likw that and i was just like wondering if i should be worried about that.. like do you think it'll go to far and well how oculd i convine them to stop it? (link)
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This is what happens to girl when they have sexual relations to young. Now you are not able to deal with the name calling by the boys. I think all you can do is wait until they have something better to do. When someone else tries it, they'll talk about her instead. ANd don't do it again. No matter how much your boyfriend says he loves you, or how much he wants it. You see, your old boyfriend told everybody. That was not very nice. But that is what young kids do. You know your not going to grow up to be a hooker, so don't pay attention to them. In another year, they'll all be doing it, and then they won't be talking sass about it, because they'd have to talk sass about themselves. But just make that first time your last time for many more years.
Once you are older and more mature, your friends will be too, and they won't kiss and tell. Kids do that. Kids who are too young to be having sex of any kind.
Michele
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ok i wanna temporarily dye my hair blonde for the summer just for fun *it's brunette now* is there anything i need to worry about so it doesn't become permanetly blonde? i don't wanna change my hair color for ever, i just wanna see waht it looks like...if u have any info plz lemme know! (link)
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One thing I do know. You should avoid pools with chlorine in them, (and they all use chlorine) because that will can turn dyed blond hair green, and ruin it. Ask a hair dresser!
Michele
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i am dying of boredom. can you please give me GOOD and FUN things i can do right now on a boring summer day? (link)
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cook something, bake something. read something,
download music. create some computer graphics Does anyone have a birthday coming up. Create a birthday card, or just a friendly card. Plan a party with some of your friends. Bake some cookies for it, or make some muchies.
Start your own company this summer, walking peoples dogs for them. You'll make some money.
How old are you? 16 or over. Volunteer at a day camp for kids. Plant some vegetables and watch them grow. Get some peanuts and feed the squirrels and birds. Be patient, maybe they will come to you and eventually eat out of your hand.
Re-decorate your room. Paint it. Sew some curtains and a new bed cover.
Go to your library's web page, see that they have going to kids this summer. Volunteer at the library. You'll learn something and feel good about yourself by the end of the summer.
Michele
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ok i know this might sound really personal and wrong but do many girls shave down there (pubic hair). and i may have sex with my boyfriend, would guys find it better if i had no hair or hair down there? please help me!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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No, no no,it is entirely up to you. Many girls do and many girls don't. Once you start though, it is a real pain when the hair starts to grow back in, It is itchy, and you can get irritated from shaving all the time. Some girls like waxing, but that is expensive. Some girls use home was kits, but if you make a mistake, and pull some skin off, you won't be having sex for a while. SOme girls shave it into a shape, like a heart shape. But you have to be good at it to do that. maybe they outline in first in marker, then wash that off. If you shave for your boyfriend, that is OK too. As far as whether or not it is attractive to a new guy, well there is no way to know. I think shaving should be a personal preferance If you like the way it feels, and the way it looks, and you don't mind the upkeep, then do it. IN your whole life you may run across a guy who doesn't like it, but so what.
You don't have to do things for a guy's approval.
Sorry I could not be of more help.
Michele
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okay so it might sound a stupid question but ive got a real important football match coming up and if we win we am the champions of our league. The only problem is im on tag meaning i gotta be in the house before 8.00 its a corfu by the police. but my football game starts then i cant get my manager to change the time should i just play or what. (link)
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I think the police trump your coach. You can end up in more trouble than your coach can get you out of. Too bad you got in trouble in the first place and had to have a police curfue put on you.
Michele
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I will be a senior now in highschool and I have no clue what I want to go to college for. Its summer and I dont have a job, all my friends and my boyfriend have summer jobs. I don't want to be stuck at home all summer bored to death. I have been looking for a job but my mom is so picky she wont let me have a job at a fast food restuarant and some other places. How can I figure out what I want to with my summer and my life?? (link)
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Look for volunteer work, sometimes it is more fun. Is there a girl scout camp in your area. You can volunteer there, and spend eight weeks in the woods with young campers, who will think you wonderful, and look up to you. And you will be so tired when you get home. The summer will just fly by. And they do pay a token amount if you are 16 or over. Sometimes they have transportation available. Your mom shouldn't mind you being in an all girls camp all summer, maybe your boyfriend won't mind either.
It is a lot of fun and really helps out a lot if kids. If no girl scout, then maybe a YMCA or a BOys & Girls Club camp. They always need volunteers. You feel great about yourself after helping some young kids and being a good influence on them. They will think your great!
Michele
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Whats the best way to look busy at work when actually you are doing nothing at all?! Apart from the internet! (link)
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Why not give that job to someone who can really use it, and won't take advantage of the boss, costing him money and not giving him anything for it. That like stealing!
Michele
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ok i am 16 and all my friends say they have had sex i feel i am the only one that has not.what shall i do?they keep asking me if i have had sex? (link)
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Tell them than no one is going to force you into doing anything that you don't want to do. After all, could any one make you wear last year's clothes! DOn't do it until your ready. And gee, don't you need a guy, and don't you need to be in love to have sex.
Besides, you are saving yourself a lot of heartache. Haven't any of your girlfriends, who have had sex, been dumped by the guys they had sex with? Why go down that road. It is better to have the boys "wonder" about you, than to know you intimately, and then make fun of you or just dump you like an old shoe.
The longer you wait, the happier you will be later on. THey just want you to be as miserable as they are.
Michele
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ok im 15 yrs old and weigh 190 lbs im fatter then fat.and i nmeed to loose about 70 pounds before august can i do it plz give me anything but nuthin at a gym cuz i cant go so peaselz help i rate hgh (link)
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You need a two fold plan. Burn calories and tone or build muscles. Burning calories is any exercise of long duration. Running, walking, biking, skating, swimming. rowing. Any or a combination of all, for an hour at least 5 times a week. Then work with free weights. Low weights like 3 to 5 to 8 lbs will help tone muscles, higher weights will build muscles. (You can use cans of beans to start.)You don't want to work on building muscles until you have lost weight. Otherwise you build the muscles under the fat and you will not look better. GEt a book on weight lifting or go to www.about.com they have a section on weight loss and weight training, you can sign up for their free newsletter. If you are going to work out a home can you invest in a few hand weights and a work out bench. You can't do the right kind of exercises on the floor. Look for books by Joyce Verdral, PHD. She has books about weight lifing that explain everything, and they have pictures and all. YOu can find used books and old books on the web at www.half.com for very little money.
And finally, yo need to go on a very low fat diet, here is a basic one that I used for many years, and still try to follow. I know this works. I lost 45 lbs. in 5 months. The more fat you have the mor weight you will loose
Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. I mean the nutrition labels. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
french fries
NO FRIED FOODS
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat or no fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish baked or broiled or grilled. NO FRYING
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of whole grain bread, or pretzels or popcorn and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a smalll bowl of cereal with fat free milk as a snack after dinner. Or pretzels or popcorn
follow this NO CHEATING, and you will loose 10 lbs in two weeks.
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Good Luck to you. You go girl!
Michele
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I am not fat at all.but i want to go on a diet becasue my borther acts hard in front of his friends and says fat cow and stuff liek that.I hate it when hes like this. What can i do? (link)
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You need a two fold plan. Burn calories and tone or build muscles. Burning calories is any exercise of long duration. Running, walking, biking, skating, swimming. rowing. Any or a combination of all, for an hour at least 5 times a week. Then work with free weights. Low weights like 3 to 5 to 8 lbs will help tone muscles, higher weights will build muscles. (You can use cans of beans to start.)You don't want to work on building muscles until you have lost weight. Otherwise you build the muscles under the fat and you will not look better. GEt a book on weight lifting or go to www.about.com they have a section on weight loss and weight training, you can sign up for their free newsletter. If you are going to work out a home can you invest in a few hand weights and a work out bench. You can't do the right kind of exercises on the floor. Look for books by Joyce Verdral, PHD. She has books about weight lifing that explain everything, and they have pictures and all. YOu can find used books and old books on the web at www.half.com for very little money.
And finally, yo need to go on a very low fat diet, here is a basic one that I used for many years, and still try to follow. I know this works. I lost 45 lbs. in 5 months. The more fat you have the mor weight you will loose
Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. I mean the nutrition labels. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
french fries
NO FRIED FOODS
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat or no fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish baked or broiled or grilled. NO FRYING
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of whole grain bread, or pretzels or popcorn and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a smalll bowl of cereal with fat free milk as a snack after dinner. Or pretzels or popcorn
follow this NO CHEATING, and you will loose 10 lbs in two weeks.
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Good Luck to you. You go girl!
Michele
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i want to mess with this one guys house with my friends because he hit on my friends girlfriend and i was wondering what we cloud do to teach him a leason. so be creative i want everything you know. thank you very much. (link)
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Well this kid doesn't own his house. He just lives in it. His parents own the house, or pay rent to live there. they are responsble for the upkeep of the house, and if you do anything to vandalize the house they are going to call the police. THen they will look at the kid and ask him if he knows who might have done this....eventually they will get around to you and your friends and you could get arrested. How will it feel to call your parents from the police station to come an bail you out. You may have to pay a fine and pay to have the house restored. And it doesn't matter what condition the house is in now. So if you want to be grounded for the whole summer. Go ahead.
Michele
Well those cops are going to look real smart after they catch a bunch of kids breaking the law by vandalizing someone's house. It will be soooo hard for them to figure out, that it was a bunch of kids, who know the kid who lives in the house, who have a reason to be mad at him, and don't have the brains God gave a pencil eraser. NO, you go ahead and do it. I'll bet they never figure it out You keep thinking that the cops in your county are stupid. You'll get away with everything for the rest of your life. You go ahead. All the people in jail now, must have lived where there were smart cops. But your lucky, you don't. You're smarter than them anyway, wouldn't matter where you live. I bow to your superior intellect.
Michele
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I'm scared, i dont know what to do. Should i involve myself into sexual intercourse? Theres this boy, and i've known him for four years.. He has been t here for me through everything. I recently dropped the highschool scene and went for cyberschool.. It was all because of some friends that wern'et being so friendly... And out of all people he dumped his girlfriend because of me and took my side on it. My bestfriend was his girlfriend. I sorta felt bad about it... But then he told me all the stuff she did to him and how she hurt him. She had cheated on him... and she admitted it to us. He has been there through everyhting... We talk all the time and we are each others best friend. We want to take that further but not sex... When it does come up though... Whhich could be at any given time... How should i react? Should i just give it up? I'm scared because i wouldn't know how to telll my mom... Me and her are sooo open with eachother and i tell her EVERYTHING. but what happens when i lose my virginity and need to go to the gyno? We're gonna hangout at his place this Thursday and i get to meet his family... They are soo nice to me on the phone... hope they are in person to... wish me luck...
Please help.
[«3] Just Me (link)
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I think you should wait to have sex until you are very much in love. And think that you may spend the rest of your life with that person. And he should feel the same way. Sex is made more beautiful when two people love each other. When it is your first time, you will need someone who is loving and patient. And someone who will make sure that you enjoy it to. Sometimes young girls do not have orgasms.But boys RARELY have that problem. But if someone loves you, they will take the time with you. This is one reason why sex is sooo much better when you are older. When you are young, it is mostly the boys who enjoy it. The girls enjoy the closeness and the kissing. Love can be beautiful, sex can be awful. And yes you should go to a gyno once you start having sex. And I believe that she/he has to protect your privacy so you can ask questions and ask about birth control.
You know your mom would be disappointed in you if she found out, if you are real close she may even be able to tell. I think you are very nervous about it, and should at least put it off, until you are less nervous. Each month that you wait brings you closer to the age when you will be mature enough to handle sex and all the emotions that go with it, and will also bring you closer to being very responsible about it, and taking precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
I do hope you wait, and I do wish you luck. You are smart to ask about it. I hope that I helped.
Michele
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