A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 97369
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me and my girlfriend is far away she lives in texas and i live in north carolina and we really love each other but we have no way to see each other we did web cam and pics but now we want to be together so like what should i do we thought about me hitchhiking to texas but we dont know and like are parents dont allow us to get jobs so we have no money for buses and are friends charge us like $300 for a ride so we dont no what to do we really want to see each other plz help :( (link)
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If you are both under 18 it's not legal for one of you to travel to see the other. If one of you is over 18 and the other isn't you still have legality issues only now you add things like corrupting a minor, enticement, etc as risks. All of this is assuming you do it without parental permission.
If you're both over 18, greyhound tickets are relatively affordable. Just don't leave your shit alone for even a second and bring a comfy pillow and a good book or a nintendo DS or something.
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okay... so im 13 and my boyfriend just turned 14 he want to do setain thing that im afraid if i do i will get pregnant but the thing is i havent started my period so do think i will get pregant if i havent started my period. (link)
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Ok. Lets look at this logically. Sex, in it's most basic incarnation, is for making babies. It's a reproductive function that humans happen to tie alot of emotion to.
If you aren't physically old enough to reproduce, why the hell would you think you're old enough to have sex? It's a fact, after all, that humans become physically able to reproduce before they are emotionally ready to handle the impacts of sex in today's world (or the repercussions like STDs and pregnancy) and you're thinking you want to start _now_?
Way, way, way too early. Keep your clothes on, it is not your job to take them off to make your boyfriend happy.
Let's repeat that.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.
Sex is about partnership. About two people who want to fuck each other's brains out and make a mutual decision to do so.
You aren't anywhere near ready to make that decision responsibly, you aren't educated enough to know what you're getting yourself into. If you have sex, it will be a huge mistake and you will very, very likely regret it.
Wait. You can't un-have sex.
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im 15 almost 16 and i am still in a AA-cup bra.
mom is a A-cup, but my sister is a C-cup.
This is completely destroying my life! I have not had a boyfriend cuz' my breasts are tiny now I am old and nobody will want me.
what about breast enlargement?
are there any other wayz i can get someone to love me?
is surgery for enlarging my breasts my best way to get my life back?
i want to have a boyfriend before i get old! am i already too old? none of the boys will want me soon. i am almost 16!
Please HELP ME! (link)
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I'm a guy and I love small tits. I love big tits. I love nipples in general.
Chill out about it. You having a complex about it is what's going to make you unattractive.
And I'll tell you, most decent guys don't look favorably on boob jobs. From personal experience, they can sometimes be pretty to look at but they're less than pleasant to play with. And a girl with a boob job is a girl who everyone knows is uncomfortable in her own skin, which is in itself unattractive.
Accept yourself. If you're destined to have small breasts, wear it well and make small breasts sexy. It's really all about your attitude, some of the most beautiful women I've ever known or been with were b cup and below.
Your life sucks because you're focusing on things outside your control and blaming them for your problems, then coming here asking how to fix them. The problem is most likely your outlook and attitude.
If you don't love yourself, how is anyone else supposed to? Conversely, people who love themselves generally attract others purely because they want to be like that too.
And guys just love breasts in general, most of the time unless you make it an issue we wont' either.
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im 14 yrs old and i have never had a girlfriend out even got my first kiss. I was wondering what is rong with me?? al my friends have and i havent i feel like such a geek (link)
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Kid, on another forum I frequent there are 27 year olds asking the exact same question. You've got a long, long way to go before there's actually something wrong with you.
If you hit 25, there's a problem. For now, just go with it and start telling every girl you see that you like her hair and see which ones smile when you say it. Talk to the ones that smile, and try to make them smile more.
A few short repetitions of this and the girl will smile just from seeing you. When this happens, start working up the nerve to ask her out.
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is it true that giving head gives you sore throats? (link)
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Sore jaw. Different type of soreness. If you'd like to experience it for yourself in a safe solo setting, go find a ten pound weight and do sets of 10 bicep curl repetitions for about four hours until your arm physically cannot move, and you'll probably be somewhere close to the sensation.
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I'm going to be a freshman in college next year. I plan on having a single dorm room. It basically consists of a twin bed (that i could raise if i wanted to), and on the opposite wall a desk, mirror and sink, and all the rest of the wall is closet space. It looked really boring when it didnt have anything in it and i want some suggestions on what i can do with it to make it prettier. Oh and im a girl (link)
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Anime posters and a computer with neon lights to attract the many nerdy virgins you'll be swimming in in the dorm rooms. Pick an anime which isn't licensed in America, otherwise you'll be decried as a poser and blacklisted among the many guys who probably won't have the nerve to ask you out or make a move anyway.
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i got accepted into every college i applied to (6 of them). i sent in my deposit for one and 4 of them gave me a paper to send back with my decision. it was something as simple as check this box if you will not be attending this university. but there was one school who didn't give me a paper like that...and i want to reject acceptance. so how do i tell them i wont be attending? do i type a letter and send it through postal mail? do i email them? i'm lost and may 1st is coming so they probably want me to tell them before then. thanks! (link)
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It's not a big deal. They'll have their answer if you don't reply. If you're a stickler for propriety, call their admissions office and ask if they'd like any official forms, and they'll probably end up thanking you and telling you it doesn't matter too.
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i know what your thinking... "is this chick stupid?" but hear me out. me & this boy were messing around & he was fingering me. then he started rubbing his "head" on my vagina. he told me i was too tight to even go in ,but through out the time i guess i kinda got a little loosened up or whatever. he said that "only the head was there." no idea what that meant. i just kept telling him to please not go in whatever he did. i don't wanna lose my virginity at 15. so did i just have sex? :/ i wasn't meaning to go that far. OH & he was cumming while rubbing it on my clit. so could i get pregnant? he told me no. idk.
please help . :( (link)
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::Edit::
You know plan b is at best 80% effective when taken immediately after, and the effectiveness decreases every hour after you have sex. Don't you?
You're awfully smug for someone who had to preface her question with "I know what you're thinking 'is this chick stupid'"
::/Edit::
Yes, you could get pregnant. He got semen directly on and around your vagina, pregnancy is a real possibility.
No, you aren't really a virgin anymore. Virginity is more than just not having had a dick inside you. It's a reference to sexual purity, as in innocence of the knowledge of carnal pleasures.
In laymans terms, you know all about sex and sexual desire, and you've come close and done enough that you aren't an innocent anymore. You're not a virgin.
Get over it. Virginity isn't important, being intelligent and responsible is. In the real world, in adult terms, you'd be far better off if you'd chosen to have sex and used protection, even gotten on birth control. As it is, you're a 15 year old child who is imitating adult sexuality without knowing what the hell she's doing or how much she's screwing with her future.
Close your legs and keep your clothes on. Period. You aren't ready for sex, and if you're stupid enough to let another guy in your pants without a condom for him and some birth control for you, you deserve what you get.
Sadly, the kid you'll probably end up having will not.
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i am a 29 year old woman,divorced and with 2 children.i've lived with my mom and stepdad for about 3 years now.i was excited last year because i was getting ready to move out and get my own place.well a few days later they both just up and quit their jobs.well need to say their not looking and i'm paying everything.i'm bout broke and my truck just tore up and its gonna be bout 1000.00 to fix it.that will completley break me and i;m at my wits end here. any advice (link)
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You're eating through savings you need for your children, and you're giving them a bad example of priorities. It's not your job to take care of your mom and stepfather. If they refuse to work to help pay the bills, move out and let them pick up the pieces. You're mom now, and your kids are priority one. Get them out of this toxic situation asap.
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16f. I was on birth control for almost a year (11 months) and i stopped it for a few weeks and switched to a new birth control pill,a brand like seasonique. I was on it for about 3 weeks before I had unprotected sex. I dont know if he cummed inside of me, but there was definitely cum on the bed and it wasnt mine. I read up on early pregnancy signs, and one was implantation bleeding that typically occurs 6-12 days after conception, I remember that I had gotten my period some days after having sex. I hadn't missed my pill, I just thought spotting and breakthrough bleeding on a brand like seasonique is normal. This whole thing started off at me looking up frequent peeing, because I've been going to the bathroom wayy too much. So I also read around 6-8 weeks after conception you may have frequent urination. It has been 6 weeks and I am starting to pee like hell, all the time. My breasts have been more sensitive, I just thought cuz i'm a girl that happens. And because I am on the 4periods a year kind of pill, I dont know when I miss a period, cuz I only get it every three months. So now i'm starting to think its all to coincidental, do you think im pregnant?? and if you dont think so, I wanted to know what the frequent urination could be from too. (link)
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Most birth control takes a week to become effective. I know that my wife's is quoted as being fully effective by the time you take the 8th pill. There's a pretty good chance that your unprotected sex was only unprotected so far as STDs are concerned. If STDs aren't a concern, then you should be free and clear.
If you're feeling paranoid, take a friggin test. Six weeks is more than enough time to wait, two to three is standard recommendation. If you're pregnant, it WILL show up.
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Okay I'm a little confused,
Say I had sex 7 days ago, I take a pregnancy test resulting from the 7 days ago I had sex..but I had sex AGAIN the day before I took the test would it relapse and effect the results from the first time I had unprotected sex?
Let me try to break this down so it's not confusing..
7 days ago I had unprotected sex with my partner
I took a test, However I also had unprotected sex again the day before I took the pregnancy test. Would the test come out negative or would the results get effected? (link)
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ohhhhhhhhhh
Ok. Well sorry about that, fair enough.
In that case, implantation can take up to two weeks after conception. So if you weren't pregnant and you just got pregnant, the test would come out negative more than likely.
If you want to increase your chances, time your period. You ovulate two weeks after your period, give or take, and sperm can survive up to a week in the fallopian tubes. That means that sex one week after your period could potentially get you pregnant.
So, start a week after your period, and try to have sex once a day until the period comes. If it doesn't wait a week and test. If it does, wait until a week after it ends and start all over.
Also, as guys generally produce sperm to some degree as needed, it's highly suggested that you keep your partner in a state of regular excitement. As in, maybe foreplay int he morning and when you get home, and sleep together at night, so that he keeps producing little soldiers for you.
::Edit End::
Pregnancy tests look for certain hormones which your body produces and expels via urine. These hormones don't become present in detectable amounts until you actually are pregnant and have been for at least 24 hours generally.
Having sex the day before a test would not affect the results in the slightest, even if you actually got pregnant (fertilized and such) it could still take a day or two to implant and for your body to detect and begin to fully respond to you being pregnant. The general wisdom is to wait until you've missed a period by a week because assuming that you got pregnant right before your period was supposed to start it could take up to that week before the hormone levels rise to amounts that can be picked up by a test.
If you got pregnant when you had sex seven days ago, it's possible that the test would be positive, but it's also possible that you could be pregnant and it could be negative. Wait until your period, and stop having unprotected sex until and unless you can get yourself on the pill or something at least.
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14/f
Everytime i shave my vagina, i get really itchy and irratated down there. I used a regular razor & shaving cream. Is this a common problem? & how can i shave/trim my pub hair without having all this discomfort? Or is there something I'm doing wrong? Any tips/answeres would help ! [: (link)
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Ingrown hairs. The skin is sensitive and razors are rough. Beard trimmers are cheap, you can get the hair down short enough that it's like it isn't there, and you won't have ingrown hairs.
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I just broke up with my long-distance boyfriend 2 days ago because I couldn't handle the distance. I really do still love him, and I'm not handling the break up well.
We decided mutually to be friends, but it's not really working. He's being unusually mean to me (which is to be expected I guess, since it's only been 2 days). This is too hard on me, and every time I end a call with him I end up crying. My feelings for him are still strong, but I do want to stick with my decision. Today we planned to chat at a certain time, and it's about 2 hours past & he's nowhere to be found.
My question is: should I cut off all contact? I really would like to be friends, but I can tell it is clearly going to take me some time. Also, if I do decide to cut all contact..should I tell him or just do it?
Btw, I'm leaning more towards the 'just doing it' option, without telling him, because after I talk to him it usually leaves me wanting to talk to him again. If I just stop contact, I won't have a chance to talk to him first. My only concern with this option is that when I am ready to be friends (maybe a month or so down the line), he won't want to speak with me/be my friend because I did the no contact thing without telling him. Ahh, please any advice would help!! I just want to be happy again. Thank you.
(link)
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Yes, you need to cut off contact. No, you shouldn't do it without warning.
Refusing to talk to someone you've broken up with is what you do when you're walking away without regrets because the person's deserves to be alone. Or for when they're creepy/stalkerish.
You owe him some level of closure. And honestly if you're going to make decisions like this based on what you need, you need to have the balls to stand behind them. You broke up because you can't handle it, don't run away from that decision because you're not happy with your level of self control.
Friends won't work, just so you know. You can't be friends with someone you care about deeply and want to date still. It doesn't work, there's too much raw emotion to work through, too much resentment on both sides.
If you can't do distance, apologize, tell him that you cant' talk to him anymore for all the honest reasons you're feeling right now, and THEN cut contact. Give him a closure conversation, then cut him out so that your heart has time to heal.
It won't if you keep reopening the wound with his presence.
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My friend is a senior in high school and im not even a freshman yet. We been talking for about 4 years now. We're not together but we really love each other. The only we aren't together is because of what we kno everyone will say. My mother knows I talk to him and how i feel about him. She likes him and things he's very nice. He's graduating this year and plans on going away 2 college. I think that's great but im going to miss him. So my question is "Is it best for us to just stop talking now ?" (link)
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Pretty much, yes.
The fact is that he could well be done with college before you even get there. No matter how much you like each other, right now it's not possible to make things work, and tying yourselves down in a relationship that will be nothing but distance is a horrible idea.
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hi all.
this evening, i was with my girlfriend. we haven't seen each other in quite some time, and she was a bit sexually frustrated. we went to dinner, walked around a park until a little after dark, and then, because she's taking the ACT tomorrow morning, i took her home.
we parked in her driveway. then she asked if we could get in the back seat of my car and start making out. i had no problem with this, but i asked if we'd be alright parking in her driveway. she told me to just turn off the lights and we'd be fine.
well, we weren't.
twenty minutes later, i saw red lights on the house next door; her father was pulling out of the garage. his lights were shining straight into my car, and i freaked out. we climbed out, and he calmly leaned out his window and asked me to reverse my car out of the driveway.
i did so, he drove off, and i said my goodnights to my girlfriend. i then drove home.
i'm going over tomorrow night for a get-together at her house. i'm planning on talking to her dad; she and i have been dating for a while, and i had built up her parents' trust.
i just don't know what to say or how to fix this... i know i need to talk to her dad, but i don't really know what to say. that's where you come in....
thanks.
c. (link)
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It was her judgment call, you really don't have anything to apologize for. It's going to be awkward, granted. Stuff like this always is. But you're dating his daughter and he knows that. Making out is expected.
He likely won't bring it up. Do the same.
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Lately my spiritual family and I have been rocked to the core do to betrayal, and seeing how the people who have betrayed us has been verbally hurting the ones I love and I snapped and I had hacked into their site to send everyone a message explaining what we had to say since they have given us no opportunities. I have been fighting with these traitors and at night some times i even find myself so upset that I am vomiting and having nosebleeds. I have been eating more than usual.
Now It is like I can only feel anger or disgust. Ive hidden this from the other social aspects of my life simply because I do not want people who have no knowledge of the basics of what i do, yet those who assume my religious practices are evil.
but it is getting so bad that It is like I had lost base and I have lost what i worked for the ability to forgive or to be calm. No one but my spiritual family knows of these events. I dont know if i would say I was traumatized or what...
I just get these real violent urges, as if I have not became spiritualy sound yet.
17/male (link)
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You're 17. No offense, but you're not really old enough to completely control it yet. You'll mellow out between 20 and 25, everyone does a bit.
You're a high pressure system. You're trying to hold it in, what you need is a safe release. Get a punching bag, and take your frustrations out on something that can't hurt you and you can't hurt. You need to be able to release the pressure you're letting build up. Play a violent video game, beat up your pillow, get into paintballing, play sports. Etc etc.
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Do guys with biggish penises get dizzy or like feel symptoms of blood loss when they get hard. I would imagine it takes a bit of blood to make it get that big. (link)
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It's not a blood loss kinda dizzy...
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Am I abnormal.. Me and my friends change infront of eachother all the time and i cant help but notice how diff my vagina is from theirs.. when my legs are close if im standing sittting anything.. my clit sticks out of my vagina lips.. i feeel embarassed to be sexually active because of it.. whats wrong with me and how can i fix it ? Guys what do u think of this.. (link)
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I'm a guy.
Big clit = easy orgasms = great sex.
Guys are logical. Like math. See that equation? Even if it's not necessarily true, we're going to assume it is and test it out. It's an experiment!
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I am a high school senior and im stuck about the obvious problem all seniors face...what college is right for me?
Heres my problem....I am a pretty talented wrestler, not amazing, but talented. I am ok at school not the best. My dad really wants me to go to a 2-year school that already has an interest in me to wrestle for them and he thinks it will fit my academic abilities better. But i really have a good 4-year school picked out im already accepted, and i have friends that go there. and they have a very competitive wrestling program I love wrestling it was basically my life in HS...but i probably wont start actually wrestling for them for a long time, I even went through the thought of just ending my wrestling career, I ended high school on a good note...maybe it is time to end. I feel like with wrestling gone I could focus more on school and maybe some things i couldnt do since I was so committed to wrestling. I love the 4-year, even without wrestling, but it is really hard to let go of wrestling.
Thanks! (link)
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I played football all 4 years of high school. Could have gotten onto the UT secondary (the team that trains the team that plays, I would have proudly sat on the sidelines all season =/) and I didn't. Doc told me that I'd need a knee replacement before I finished college if I did.
Argue education. Argue it hard. A 4 year education gives you a base that cannot, under any circumstances, be taken away from you. It means that you can then, if you choose, spend 2 more years getting a masters in something and make 100k a year.
For you, if you like wrestling so much, you could become a kinesiology major or something similar, become a physical therapist. It takes 6 years, but you're guaranteed a good job in a growing field at this point.
You could work 40 hours a week, make 90-100k, and have plenty of time left over to coach and be a physical trainer for a high school team. Or something similar.
Push education. There are way more options than you've probably ever considered.
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Okay to make this very long story short, my boyfriend of two months cheated on me. We were bestfriends at first for over a year and a half before we dated. I'm 17 btw. I've always cared so much and beileved in him when no else did, his reputation for being a man whore always bothered me. His phone had been "broken" for about two weeks and I get this text saying hey. I started to notice it wasn't him and whoever was on the phone was beating around the bush about what they were doing. So "kate" let's call her, starts saying that my bf is hot, that he wants her a whole bunch of bull that I simply ignored. Kate ends up sending me a text saying I I shouldn't be happy because Im not the one making out with him now. I broke down. Later on that night he admitted to what she said and showed some remorse. Then day at school I saw he had a HUGE hickey on his neck. I still didn't want to beileve it. So at lunch Kate sits at choking distance so now my friends torment her and I'm a well known person so now the whole cafe hates her. I'm still unhappy my bf and I still together we sat down and talked it out it was long but we thought about it alot i still couldn't believe he let her get a hold of his phone. I know I'm stupid for taking him back but I'm in love. /: I still depressed haven't eaten in 4 days and not really much sleep either.
- signed
the fool (link)
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I agree. (With Gonnabefamous)
Have some self respect. Remorse or not, forgiveness or not, that should not be forgotten and it should be a dealbreaker.
I know you care. Move on anyway. You already said he was a manwhore. I was a manwhore too, spent alot of time with alot of different girls in high school and college. Never once cheated. Not ever. The two are unrelated.
Cheating is a result of three things.
- His personal standards(his lack of, to be specific)
- His selfishness
- The fact that he does not respect you (or anyone he dates) in any real sense.
It's not too late. Break it off. Do not take him back for at least three years. You heard me. Enough time for you to legitimately get over him and be interested in other people. If you think he's changed after that, maybe give him a second chance (assuming you still care in the slightest).
If he does it again, make sure to kick him in the balls before you leave. I'm a guy and I still say cheating twice deserves it.
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