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what to say to her dad
hi all.
this evening, i was with my girlfriend. we haven't seen each other in quite some time, and she was a bit sexually frustrated. we went to dinner, walked around a park until a little after dark, and then, because she's taking the ACT tomorrow morning, i took her home.
we parked in her driveway. then she asked if we could get in the back seat of my car and start making out. i had no problem with this, but i asked if we'd be alright parking in her driveway. she told me to just turn off the lights and we'd be fine.
well, we weren't.
twenty minutes later, i saw red lights on the house next door; her father was pulling out of the garage. his lights were shining straight into my car, and i freaked out. we climbed out, and he calmly leaned out his window and asked me to reverse my car out of the driveway.
i did so, he drove off, and i said my goodnights to my girlfriend. i then drove home.
i'm going over tomorrow night for a get-together at her house. i'm planning on talking to her dad; she and i have been dating for a while, and i had built up her parents' trust.
i just don't know what to say or how to fix this... i know i need to talk to her dad, but i don't really know what to say. that's where you come in....
thanks.
c.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't say anything unless he asks. If you think it's going to be awkward to sit around with her dad, think how much MORE awkward it'll be once you start off with "Well, your daughter was a bit sexually frustrated, so we wanted to make out just a little bit." Don't even start a conversation about this. Not a good idea.
Besides, you two are dating, unless her parents are the most religious people on earth, they KNOW you're not just going to hold hands and discuss your feelings when you're alone. Couples kiss. Couples make out. Her parents have been there, done that. And it's not like you guys are "too young" for it (you drive, so you're at least 16, yes?).
Something like this happened to me with my boyfriend once. Well, worse. He had to go take a shower but I got some stuff stuck in my hair and decided to rinse it out in the sink (not a smart idea)... And suddenly his mother knocked on the door because she needed her glasses out of the bathroom. So when I walked out and handed them to her, she looked a bit surprised that I was there, but that lasted about half a second and then she asked me for the glasses.
She hasn't treated me any differently since then (Back when it happened, I thought I would never get over the future awkwardness). Why? Probably because she knew that if we've been going out for like a year, I've probably seen him naked plenty of times. We probably shouldn't have shared the bathroom like that when his parents were home, but anyway. Your girl's dad's reaction was similar. He just calmly asked you to back out of the driveway; he didn't seem shocked or appalled or disgusted or angry. So he prooooooobably doesn't see it as a big deal.
If I'm wrong and he actually DOES confront you about it, you have to be straight with him. Tell him that you've been dating for x amount of time, you care about each other, blah blah blah, and kissing is something you're going to do. But if he doesn't want you doing it on his property, you should acquiesce to that demand. Make sure that your girlfriend also participates in this discussion and backs you up. Not only because it was her idea in the first place, but if it's just you saying you're going to be kissing while she's just sitting quietly, it MAY give off the very subtle impression that it isn't consensual.
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It was her judgment call, you really don't have anything to apologize for. It's going to be awkward, granted. Stuff like this always is. But you're dating his daughter and he knows that. Making out is expected.
He likely won't bring it up. Do the same.
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