I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173040
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Okay, we have 8th grade prom comming up in about 8 months and my friend weighs about 230 pounds and she was to lose about 80 and that will leave her at 150. So, if you divide 80 into 8 that will be 10 pounds a month, So if i divide 5 into 10 that would be 2 pounds a week. Do you think my friend can lose 80 pounds in 8 months or so?????? We have already talked about her eating habits and exercising and drinking a lot of water.
14/f ( If that helps ) (link)
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Most doctors recommend losing 1-2 pounds per week, though she might lose more than that in the first couple of weeks of her new lifestyle.
The easiest thing to say - and hard to do - is to exercise more and eat less. She should go see a dietician for an eating and exercising plan that is tailored to her needs. Losing weight too fast can lead to a range of problems, including her not getting her period anymore.
A general rule of thumb is that the slower and more steady the weight loss, the less likely she'll be to gain the pounds back. After all, it took years to gain the weight, and it could take a couple of years to lose it!
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Hey. I was recently thinking about becoming a model, I dont know...just for fun for a little while. Everyone says that Im really gorgeouse (spelling??) and that I should go for it while I am still young. The thing is..I have no idea where to start!!! So I guess my question is, how would I break in...are there any former or current models here that could help. I just dont really want to get screwed over by some stupid company that says they know what they are doing, but really its just a scam...I've heard the horror stories. so Any Ideas??? Easy 5's!!! (link)
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Modelling might sound glamourous, but it's not the type of thing you do for fun. Like many professions in related industries, it requires a lot of time...and possibly money.
You'll end up on endless casting calls, spend hours posing in similar positions, and probably not get paid a tremendous amount - if you manage to break into the industry at all. There are many, many young girls and women very serious about modelling. Many will have given up all of their free time to pursue it as a career, so if you're not willing to do the same it can end up with you giving up a lot of time, paying for head shots, and ending up not getting work.
Have a long think about whether or not modelling is really for you. If it IS, that's great. If it isn't, that's okay too.
How to break in? Look up agencies in your phonebook and give them a call. None should charge you money to be seen, though many will require a head shot of you before they'll meet with you. Beware of any agencies that seem to be not quite right - follow your gut feeling, work tremendously hard, and stick with it.
Best of luck.
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One of my close friends and her boyfriend had sex and the condom got stuck inside of her but he didnt ejaculate is it possible that she could get pregnant?
I can't go to planned parenthood with her today because it's my bro's b-day and the only other close friends she has are all away. (link)
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Anytime pre-cum or cum comes near a vagina, pregnancy is possible.
More importantly, though, is the immediate need for your friend to get the condom out of her vagina. It should be a simple matter to stick a finger in, grab it, and carefully pull it out. She'll want to check to make sure the whole thing is out.
Condoms usually stay on erect penises. If the condom fell off her boyfriend's penis as he was pulling out, this very well could be because he ejeculated and his penis went limp - and he did not tell your friend the truth. In this case, she's walking around with a condom full of sperm in her.
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how.. (13/f)
1) do you get yourself to masterbate and what happens?
2)does a guy do oral on a girl? and what happens?
3) does a girl do a bj on herself? and what happens?
just a few curios questions. (link)
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1. Masturbation tends to happen naturally when you feel an urge to touch yourself. This can happen at any age, although most people masturbate more during puberty and the teen years than other points in their lives.
Masturbation is anything that makes you feel good - generally it's best to use only fingers or clean things. It can involve penetrating the vagina, though most females touch their clitoris.
2. A guy can have oral sex with a girl. This involves licking or sucking on her genitals. It should feel pleasureable, and can end with an orgasm.
3. A girl can't do a bj on herself. 'BJ' stands for 'blow job', which is a slang term for performing oral sex on a guy.
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This may sound dumb, but what is humping? And what is a "sex drive"? (link)
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'Humping' can be another word for having sex.
A 'sex drive' is the impulse to kiss, make out, or engage in other sexual activities. Hormones!
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So when you go to a guynocologist, do you need to shave? Or are you not supposed to? And what happens? (link)
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You don't have to do anything special when you go to the gyno. If you're normally a shaver, that's fine. If you don't shave, that's fine too.
A gyno looks at hundreds of vaginas a year and has probably seen every sort of hair arrangement possible.
As for what happens, there's a few things. You will need to take off your panties and lay on your back, while the gyno will examine the outsides of your vagina AND the insides. She will insert a speculum into your vagina - and a good doctor will warm it up and use lubrication!
She'll take a swap of cells on your cervix to check for cancerous or pre-cancerous problems. You might not feel anything, or you might feel a slight discomfort. She will usually insert one finger before or after this process, feel around, and push on your tummy from the outside to check for other problems.
The whole thing is over quite quickly. Some doctors will also check your breasts for lumps - if yours doesn't offer, it's a good idea to ask them to check...and to teach you how as well!
This is the time to mention any problems. Be honest about your sex life, as this can affect advice she gives you. It's also the time to get on birth control or reevaluate your current birth control if you are sexually active.
It can be a bit emotionally awkward your first time, but physically it shouldn't hurt at all.
Best of luck.
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I'm a bit confused about a certain aspect of my current life.
I have just recently started to work(1 month) in a new work place.
I really enjoy working there but the thing is a certain guy has caught my eye and the problem is that we're of two totally different age groups.
He's 23-25 and I'm 17 soon to be 18.
The thing is he may or may not have been dropping hints.
I'm confused and don't know what to do.
Help? (link)
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Yes, he may or may not have been dropping hints. Yes, you may or may not be attracted to him.
But the fact that you're asking a question about whether or not the age difference is too big shows that you're thinking everything isn't exactly perfect.
Generally, it's best to date people who are at the same sort of stage as you are. At 17, you're still in high school. At 23/25, The Guy has finished high school and college too (if he went).
The older you get, the less problematic age differences become. People tend to even out.
That being said, many younger people date people in their twenties - as to how many relationships actually work out, that's another story.
My best advice? Find someone closer to your own age and avoid any age-related struggles (power, wanting different things, being used by an older guy, hooking up with an immature guy!) that could possibly exist. And if you DO decide to go ahead and date this guy, at least you'll be doing so knowing some of the dodgy areas.
Best of luck.
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Is it ok to have an orgasm while ur on ur period? (link)
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It's okay to have an orgasm at any time during the month. The hormones present around the time of the period can even make orgasms more intense or pleasureable.
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Okay my boyfriend and I had sex a couple of times. I was a virgin when we first had sex. Okay, it hurt when it first went in then after awhile it stopped. The next day there wasn't any blood. None of the times we had sex there was no blood, so what does this mean my cherry didn't pop, or if he does it harder will I bleed? (link)
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Not everyone bleeds the first time they have sex. Some people don't bleed at all, most have a few drops on the sheets, and some bleed lightly for the next few hours. Blood is not proof of virginity.
A guy, if he really respects and values you, should believe you if you say you are a virgin. If you feel a need to prove yourself, that might mean that you don't think your boyfriend trusts you.
Hymens/cherries are not thick layers of skin which actually 'pop'. Most women have at least partially lost their hymens naturally by their mid-teens. Your body is normal, you have nothing to worry about, and you certainly don't need to prove your okay-ness to anyone else.
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Hi,
I'm male and 34 years old. I have only limited sexual encounters so i can remember when was my last. After that, i notice a discharge after a week but didn't mind because i sometimes experience wet dreams before. for the past year i experience mild symptoms like pain in the testicle(it qickly go away), itching on the tip of my penis(sometimes), sometimes pain while urinating(but its tolerable), and constipation including blood in my stool but i blame it on my hemmorhoids. but recently i experience pain in my upper left abdomen everytime i ejaculated. i went to see a urologist, upon a series of test i found out that i have chlamydia. he gave me 1 week of antiobiotics. It went fine, but when i started to masturbate again it came back this time the pain was so unbearable. i heard that this std will surely make me sterile. My question is, am i already sterile? what are my chances considering that i had it for 2 years already? i need your advice.. thanks
(link)
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Before you start worrying about the consequences of having an STD, get back to your doctor and take care of the new pain! It could mean that your course of antibiotics didn't do their job, or perhaps you have a different sort of infection. Make sure your current problem is cleared up, as it could blow up and only make things worse.
As far as sterility goes, it's not that every person with Chlamydia becomes sterile. The length of time it is left untreated will definitely have an impact, but a doctor is the only person to put your mind to rest. It's a simple enough procedure to see if you are infertile - masturbating into a cup and having the semen tested. Your doctor will be able to do this test in office or refer you to the appropriate specialist.
Best of luck.
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If your vagina isn't used to a lot of things wouldn't it be common sense if it got irrated, like from toooooooooo much perfume, soap and things like that? (link)
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Any vagina, regardless of how 'used to things' it is, can get quite irritated from perfume, scented soap, etc. You can even cause or increase the natural smell by washing too much - and washing away all of your vagina's natural defences.
If you want to be hygenic, wash yourself when you take a shower. Once a day - NO SOAP inside the actual vagina, though a gentle baby soap can be used to wash the outer areas. Most girls/women smell just fine, so no extra perfums are needed.
Wear breathable panties - cotton are best to promote healthy and fresh vaginas.
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im gay and i want to tell my perants that im gay i know my dad would accept it but my mom would beat my @SS so what can i do to get my mom to accept me?? (link)
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If your mother would literally hit you, then you need to think seriously about whether or not it is safe to tell her. Your options include only telling your father (if you can trust him to not tell your mother), telling a school guidance counsellor your concerns so you have outside support, etc.
Time and love can make parents accept most things. Unfortunately, many parents wrongly think being gay is not okay - but of course it's normal and healthy. If you choose to tell you mom, it might take her awhile to get used to it. After all, she's probably pictured your life in her head, and this might not be what she pictured.
Make sure you've got a strong support network around you, and that will help things as well.
Very best of luck.
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Is it normal for a 13-year-old girl to masterbate, or is it just really sick-o for my age? Omg, I'm sooooo embarassed and I think I'm the only one in my grade who does. I feel like such a perv., but I can't help it. I have to cuz it feels so good. So I want to know is, is this unusual for a girl my age? Or something to feel guilty about? (link)
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Not only is it normal, but it's SO normal that it's a safe bet most people in your grade have tried it at least once - male OR female.
There's no need to feel guilty. You're exploring your own body in a safe and healthy way, and that's a better decision than repressing your sexuality or having sex too soon.
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well im 16 and im a gurl and im still a virgin in every way but what i want to know is ,is ok to masterbate and when you have sex for the first time does it hurt also when you masterbate does it feel different when you acually have sex or does the pleasure feel the same please help iam i disuging or normal
(link)
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It IS okay to masturbate. It's normal and healthy.
Sex for the first time may hurt, may feel uncomfortable, or may feel fine. It's up to your individual body and the circumstances you are having sex in.
Orgasms are not always the same. They may be big or small, but there's no set way to guarantee that masturbation orgasms will always feel exactly the same - or that sex orgasms will, either. Orgasms depend on your level of arousal and a varity of factors....but however they feel, it's generally acknowledged they're a good feeling!
You aren't disgusting at all. Many people have questions like these and are probably relieved that you've asked - so they don't have to! You're perfectly healthy and have nothing to worry about. Curiousity is part of being human.
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i am 13, and my boyfriend is 14. we are both goth-like, and we love each other. we do have sex, but all my friends say i should go to the counselor and tell her about it. but i have nothing to tell. can anyone think of why i should or should not go the counselor? (link)
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Well, an informed counsellor would be able to provide you with useful information about STDs, safer sex, etc. It's best to talk to someone, as sex at 13 is actually dangerous for your body. Having sex very young increases the chance of developing cervical cancer later in life. It also obviously means you've got a chance to pass/receive a disease or get pregnant.
At thirteen, it's hard to be able to look objectively at a relationship - but I would say that's true of most relationships. When you are involved in something, you can't necessarily evaluate whether or not it is the best thing for you. Sex this young isn't usual, and talking to a counsellor could help you figure out if it truly is right for you.
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why do people in there teens who arent even married yet want to have sex, like when your older and you want to get married it wont come in handy to tell him/her that your not a virgin so my questions are
1) why do people in there teens have sex
2) why do GUYS like looking at porn
3) (no affence) but if your engaged or w/e wouldn't that just disguss the guy/girl that your not a virgin
so i dont get it (link)
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1. Teenagers are flooded with hormones that are new to them, and this incudes a drive towards sexual behaviour. Because this drive becomes stronger in the teen years, and teens experience so many new emotions, many feel they are ready to handle having sex....or feel as if they are expected to start having sex.
2. Girls AND guys enjoy porn - to each their own. Some people will look at it daily, some will look at it with a partner, and some won't look at all. Everyone's different.
3. Virginity is a personal choice. You have no way of controlling the behaviour of someone you have not met yet - your perfect person might have already lost their virginity. Would that make you unable to be with them?
It's great if you feel you want to remain a virgin until marriage, but it's also unrealistic to hold everyone else to your personal set of standards.
Again - to each their own!
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an older boy would make out with me a couple timens a month for about 2and a half years.we never had real intercourse but he would finger me and i jerked him off,we would both cum.l never had any blood after he fingered me.i am now almost 15 and not seeing him any longer.Do you think i still have my cherry (link)
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A cherry, or hymen, is not made of steel. Most girls' hymens start naturally disintegrating in their early to mid teen years. it can also be 'popped' by a lot of normal activities.
Being pretty constantly fingered (with penetration) would suggest that even if that thin layer of skin had been there, it's been torn/pushed aside.
Blood doesn't always accompany first penetrations, and some girls won't bleed from fingering but WILL from a penis, due to the extreme stretching that their bodies just are not used to.
Don't worry. No one will be able to tell whether you've got your hymen or not - and there's no way anyone could know whether or not you are a virgin. That's up for you to decide who knows and who does not.
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my family and i, let alone my mom aren't really a family. mom and i have gone to counseling for things that she put a twist on. we just arent the same people. and i have 3 best friends, but one of them is my everything. we talk about everything, she is my substitute for a family realy. and her family. we play number one dubles together in tennis and we had a match against the best team in the league yesterday. we lost in 3 sets but still did realy well. my mom kept yelling watch the lanes to who i thought was to me. i got realy upset because she doesnt know what she is talking about. and she wouldnt stop. and today she yelled at me for idolizing natalies mom and told me i wouldnt last in that household. and then she said that she was yelling to natalie to watch the lanes. i got home and my turtle was dead because mom left it outside with the lid off and it was attacked by another animal. i called natalie and told her the fist story. then she called back and i ended up telling her what mom said about the lanes. i definetly shouldnt have done that and i didnt think enough. now shes mad at my mom, and i dont blame her. i caled her back after a while and we talked about it and i said hhow i shouldnt have said anything and please dont think that i feel the same way. she kept saying how shes not mad at me or anything but just a little upset. i am terrified that tomorrow in school it will be akward between us. she is the most incredible person ive ever known and our connection is incredible. i wouldnt give her up for anything. i just dont know what to do, im sitting her bawling and have to go do homework.
female, 16 (link)
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It sounds like you've got a whole lot of stuff going on. Firstly, your relationship with your mom. If you're still in counselling, stay there! It can be a chance for you to both say your view of things without it dissolving into a screaming match. It could also be worth considering whether you'd like individual counselling - the counsellor is totally focused on YOU...your feelings, perceptions, hurt places, and hope. It's a space just for you.
I think if you constantly feel like you're in a fight with your mom, it's not surprising you would assume that she was yelling at you about the tennis game (although the fact that she showed up to support you does say a lot!). I think Natalie could be upset because she is upset you guys lost the game, and now she thinks that your mom - and possibly you - think it's her fault.
I think if you let her know that you shared the story with her not to try to slip in insults, but that you needed to talk to someone about your mom. Let her know it was about YOU, not her. Explain that you feel very close to her and trust her, and that's why she's the one you turned to when you were upset.
If you two are as connected as it seems, this won't ruin things. Sure, they could be awkward for a couple of hours or days. But it won't last - talk about things, keep connecting, have fun. Everything will be fine.
Best of luck.
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Do you recall a day or two ago, answering an insanely long question about some guy who asked a girl out and etc etc etc, she said she liked him but she couldn't? Same guy here. Well, I explained to her that I didn't care about the other girl killing me, sticks and stones, etc, and then she sent me another e-mail that said like "Darling (my name here)" and "Lots of love, (her name here) xxx" and the middle of it was "Someday, this will be our lovebug. But until we can drive, a picture will do." And then she sent me a picture of a car that had hearts and stuff on it. It was just all random and sudden in my opinion, and I think she laid it on a bit thick with the "darling". I mean, I'm thrilled, but it just doesn't seem like her... and it's so out-of-the-blue, she had just been saying that she wasn't sure if she liked me, and then she said she did. Was she being sarcastic? Is she trying to give me the slip? It's just the "darling" that's so sudden, and so heavy. And also, in case, I do get a date, I always wind up in awkward silence. What are some good small-talks? How can I avoid the silence? Seriously, I always try to think of something... last time I was with her, we were at a carnival (as friends) and at one point we ran out of things to talk about and after a while she's like "Wow... this is awkward silence..." And it's kinda annoying. What's some good conversation starters? I've already told her all my jokes and comedy routines... OK, I'm babbling, I'd better stop now. (link)
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I agree with you - I think it's a bit weird that she's gone from saying she likes you but can't be with you (because of Crazy Other Girl) to suddenly calling you darling. But the bottom line is the same: she's still saying she doesn't want to be with you right now.
It sounds like she's playing games. This could merely be because she's uncomfortable telling you how she feels - she might not want to hurt your feelings, she might not fully understand how she feels, etc. It doesn't sound like you're going to get a straight answer anytime soon...but you could choose to listen to the un-straight answer she's giving, which is a consistent 'no.'
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes keeping your hopes for the future means you can pass by some pretty great opportunities in the present.
If things DO work out, with her or anyone else, then awkward silences can be, well...awkward. Rather than worry about entertaining the other person, you can just comment about your situation. Where you are, what you did during the day, the new CD you bought. It can help to go on a date that eliminates the awkward. Like, for instance, going to a pottery painting place gives you something to talk about - the painting - and lets you both focus on what you're doing. It's a nice distraction that can actually make it easier to talk.
The same is true of a lot of dates. Then, of course, are the dates where you can spend a hunk of time NOT talking: paintball, the movies, a concert, etc.
Generally if you find the right person, the silences will fill themselves. Both people will want to talk and be heard, and conversation will come more naturally. Until you find that person or get to that point, though, paint pots!!
Best of luck....I hope things work out for you.
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I am 21 year old.I am married.I doesnt want to get pregnancy .so my husband is using condoms while we are having sex.once my husbands condom got tear while having sex ..that took me to pregnency.i had abortion.after this again i am having sex with my husband last night and it got tear once again.i am very much afraid of getting pregnency again.so please tell me how to avoid it.is there any tablets which restricts pregnency after the condom is torn? answer me as soon as possible as i can take care without having pregnency..and also tell me what are patch and inserts which you have mentioned in one of your answers and how to use them? (link)
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Condoms are great, but as you've experienced, they aren't foolproof. It's always safest to use two forms of birth control - like condoms AND the pill, the patch, inserts, shots, etc.
Basic info:
The pill is varied. Usually you take one pill a day, at the same time, throughout the entire month. There are different types of hormones and pills out there. This is a reliable method of birth control if you use it properly and can remember the daily tablet.
Shots - you can get birth control shots at your doctor's or local health care clinic. Most shots work for three months at a time; you go once, have the shot, and you're set until the next time. Shots can change your period, so make sure you have a conversation with your doctor about this.
The patch - Similar to the others. You simply apply a patch to your skin, and it helps manipulate your hormones and reduce the risk of pregnancy.
Inserts - there are two main types of inserts. Both are inserted through your vagina and remain inside you for a period of time. They slow-release hormones.
The idea behind all hormone-related birth control is to make your body not release an egg, and also sometimes to thicken your cervical mucus - which makes it harder for sperm to enter your womb. You need to see a specialist and have a conversation about what type of birth control would be best for you; they'll be able to offer you more detailed info that is tailored to fit your circumstances and life.
Finally, there IS a morning-after pill. It needs to be taken within a relatively short period after having sex. This is not recommended as a regular form of birth control. It's better to prevent mistakes that react in a panic afterwards.
Best of luck talking to your doctor!
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