about

Hey, I'm 16 and cute and give excellent advice. I rate pretty high and Have been through almost anything you can throw my way. Just ask it and I'll answer the best way I can and I will always tell you straight up how it is. If you don't believe then just ask.

P.S. It doesn't hurt to have me as your favorite columnist- that way I can share my wisdom with you when you ask me directly instead of chancing that I'll come across it. :-)

advice

I'm really close to my cousin who is 2 years younger than me (we're both girls). But its the fact that we've been around eachother our whole lives that makes us close. If it wasn't for being related, I would never hang out with her. All her life, she's been a follower and there is absolutley nothing thats unique about her. AT ALL and I'm tired of it. When the whole "skater" thing was in...she pretended to be a skater. Now that the "punk" thing has been in for awhile shes followed that. I know, I know..."some people like it, so let them be". But she's always posting things like "peace" "drop food not bombs" blah blah blah because her older brother does it (he's a punk, but he's been a punk for awhile and he's truly into it). So she's going around posting all this crap, and she has NO CLUE whos running for president. She has NO IDEA on politics whatso ever and here she is posting all this crap. Another thing is her vegetarianism. She became a vegetarian because her brother and all of their punk friends were vegetarians. I asked her why she became one, and she would not answer me because she had nothing to back it up with. Its cool that she doesn't eat meat--I don't either (I don't eat it because of health/personal reasons whereas her brother does it for the animals) and I have no problem sharing that with people. But her on the other hand... yea. And she's embarassing to go places with because of the way she dresses. Her pants are super tight and she'll sew the bottoms for them to look like that and she's not exactly skinny or someone who would look good in those pants. The other day, her pants ripped in the butt area and she was embarrassed. Then she shouldn't wear such tight pants. She can afford regular pair! Thats what she buys at the stores. Its not the fact that shes "punk"...its the fact that its all a stupid little show. And she's such a drama queen too. I'm so sick of her. She hardly takes a shower and she thinks she's the best at everything, I'm not even kidding. She thinks she sings really, really good and everytime I sing in the car really low to a song on the radio, she'll hear me and start trying to sing over my voice (I'm not even singing loud in the first place, so I don't know how she can hear me). Her voice is TERRIBLE. Even my other family members talk about it behind her back. To sum it up...my cousin is so unoriginal its disgusting. I know the world is full of people copying other people, but some things you only see once or twice. But everything on her is like every sellout thing imagined. And she's so self-absorbed. I'm sick and tired of it. But because we're cousins I can't just tell her all of this. How can I tell her in a more polite way to stop living off of what other people do or say and start becoming your own person?

I think you should take your cousin to a movie or rent a movie about this type of thing. Maybe you could let her watch mean girls or something and then after you see it start a discussion about why people dress like other people and do the things their friends want them to. Then you can ask her how she feels about it and let her know that she's somewhat like that and that she really shouldn't be because it's not her and that trying to be too many things that she's not is only messing her up in the long run because sooner or later she's going to have to know what she wants.

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does the type of tampon you use make you more likely to get TSS? i mean if you use regular as opposed to light will i be more likely to get TSS?

thanks

Here's how you it goes with tampons. All the tampons are the same as far as TSS go, and so you are pretty safe with any kind you choose. If you are trying to figure out which kind is better for you then you should try to fiure out what is more comfortable and easy fro you to wear and put in. But no matter what kind you pick you cannot wear it for more then about 2-4 hours (I don't recommend longer) and you should never sleep in a tampon because that will most likely cause you to go into TSS. You could wake up and feel dizzy, uncomfortable, and you may not be able to see (and yea it happens). I would suggest weraing the kind that you feel is best for your body and not worry about the TSS unless you aren't following the directions.

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My boyfriend is shy and he is afraid to talk to me. When he comes over and he'll say hey and thats about it. He is like afraid to talk to me. He always says online hey i'm really shy and i can't ever think of anything to say. And I say something like omg its just me. and he'll say just you?!? He's like afraid to talk to me in person but will on the phone and online. any advice

I think he really likes you and is just nervous so maybe if you starteda topic like you would on the phone he might start talking to you like normal on the phone.

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Ok im sorry if it long but I just dont know what to do.
I met this girl (Sarah) she waas new in the beggning of the year. We turned out to be best friends. We did everytihng sleepovers, movies mall everything. All along there was this girl(Julie) who for some reason really badly wanted me to just leave so she could move in and take my spot as bff with Sarah. Ok so i ahd to miss school for 6 days right b4 april vacation. When i came back i saw SArah i nthe hall and expected a OMG YOUR BACK and stuff but she ignored me wehn i ran up to her to say hello. I was shocked!The hole week Sarah woyld leave Julies side. SArah would talk about hoe she hated the wa JUlies makep was and know she wearing it the same way. THat left me with no one, i eventually started to hang out with other people but still miss SArah as a friend ot talk to and hang around with. She not the same. I dont no what happend during those 6 days. Now about 2 or 3 months later whe ni tohught evrything would pass it didnt. I know it been a long time but i dont know.

Sorry its soo long
please any advice would be helpful!

I think what turned out happening was that this Julie girl started talking to Sarah about you. Not to jump to conclusions but that's the most likely thing that happened unless Sarah was holding some bad feelings toward you on a little situation and Julie just added to it. I think you should try and talk to Sarah and ask her what happened, maybe call her or talk to her when she's not arund Julie. I can't promise that the feelings of wanting your bestfriend back will go away because mine haven't yet (same situation except they were both my best friends and then one got mad at me and turned the other against me too). But from experience all I can promise is that it will get easier and maybe you will realize that Sarah may not have been such a good friend if she turned away from you so easily

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i really am so ready for sex and my bf and i already have it all planned out...the thing is, im not very self-confident when it comes to my body. my legs are slim, which all my friends envy, but i feel so wierd! my hands get clamy ALL the time...is there anything i can do about that? and finally, i am really self-consious about the hair on my body...like on my lower back, a tiny bit around my belly, and 'downstairs'. i dont want to shave these regions, but im just worried about what he'll think...and i dont want to be all high-maintenance about my body, but i dont know what im supposed to do! please help

I think you should let him know your fears, but if you aren't ready fro him to knwo it's you start out by playing a game. You start naming hypathetical situations like would you ever have sex with a girl that is hairy,ugly,etc (non-explaining you of course) and then you say what if they had hair just........(name the spots) and then you ask him if he'd have sex or make fun of a girl who(and explain your situation) and see how he takes it. The trick is to start off the game with a description of something that's really not you and that way he knows the things you are listing aren't anything to do with you and then when he is on a roel answering the questions you throw your situation in there and you will know exactly what he thinks. But after you ask about your situation you ask a few more questions because that way don't seem obvious. Hope it helps

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My best friend(we'll say lucy) is going to prom with this kid(we'll say nick). Well recently they got into a fight because nick went out and picked up our other friend and brought her out to lucy's house after we had asked him to. Well we promised that we would give him ten dollars gas money, since he was low, if he did this for us. Well lucy has been practically obsessed with nick for the passed two years but he won't give her the time of day. Before lucy and i started talking i had dated nick and it was actually through him that lucy and i became aquainted. Lucy and nick are both seniors and lucy's dream was to go to her senior prom with him. Luckily thanks to the help of her friends, nick agreed to go with her. Well when lucy worked her ways nd talked nick into leaving without that gas money, he got really mad. (because he was on E when he got home) And the reason she didn't give it to him was because she didn't have change for a twenty. When nick got home he txt messaged me to tell me that he wasn't going to prom with lucy and this really upset her. Then another fight broke out because I have been talking to him AS FRIENDS and some of lucy's other friends don't see this appropriate. But when i don't talk to him, everyone gets mad at me and yells because they say there is no reason to hate him just because he broke my heart. So me, trying to be the peace maker, started talking to him civilized once again and now we're friends. (NOTHING MORE)Well he called me today and we got to talking. I begged him to reconsider taking lucy to prom because i know how much this means to her, nd he said: "Hmmm, i have an idea". Well this idea isn't any good :( AT ALL-- He agreed to go with lucy again to prom on one condition; if i sleep with him. He has been bugging me to sleep with him for the passed 7months because i turned him down the two times we were together. I know I can't do that to her even though it would get her to prom. And i don't know how to tell her because it would devastate her. But what if i tell him no and he wont go to prom with her? Then i will feel like this is all my fault because i didn't betray my friends trust.. I'm so hurt and confused-- please and thank you for listening to me babble!!

I think you should tell her the conditions and explain that if she really waas your friend she'd believe you and not make you do it. And if she doesn't accept you not wanting to sleep with him or doesn't believe you then she isn't a true friend. Just do what you think is best in your heart adn don't let "Lucy" or "Nick" talk you into it.

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ok there is my two best friends we'll call them A and B! ok i have been best friends with A for a loooooong time and with B since 5th grade. ok my friends A and B have been hanging out a lot and im getting REALLY jelous b/c they dont really include me in a lot of things now. so my questions are... (i rate high)
1)Is this wrong for being jelous?...(and)
2)How can i tell them without them getting mad?

Thanks a bunch!

-*Marissa*-

I went through the same thing and my advice is to let them know how you feel. Don't go get mean and offended if you don't like their reasoning but you do need to let them know how you feel. If you think making the friendship better isn't going to work by talking to them then you are setting yourself up for exactly what happened to me. They will start to think that you aren't interested in hanging out or they will just assume you are busy. Before you know it they will be hanging out with out you and you'll feel left out and things won't get better. Talk to them and you'll be hanging out with them before you know it.

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I'm not really one to ask this kind of question..But there's this guy. He goes to another school, I just recently started talking to him over the phone and stuff. We have a lot of chemistry. We always have something to talk about. So I just called him, I haven't talked to him since last night, and he didnt answer his phone. Do you think I should call him again or just wait for him to call?

You should wait for him to call you back. This may sound mean but, you'll thank me later, calling him more then once in about 2 hours time makes you look desperate and in a way means that you have nothing else to do. He may not be at home or with his cell so if you leave a message the 1st time you call he'll call you back later or you call him the next night and play it off like you didn't remember that you had called him the night before.

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ok im thinkin of having my boyfriend and 2 other friends who are also a couple, come over to watch a movie or 2 tomorrow. i think we wanna do a comedy and then romance. any ideas? 14/f

You guy should watch something funny but with a little romance too, maybeyou could rent the movie closer.

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okay theres this guy named ryan. i love ryan. ryan says he loves me.. but me nd him get inalot of fights.. not big ones though they last like 1 hour. soo today is my birthday.. me and him were gonna hang out and i walked really far to hang out with him and then he callz my cell and says he is hangin out with (people i hate) kansa and victorea... (there on drugs) i got mad.. very mad.. nd started to walk home.. then when i get home he callz my cell again and says wanna hang out.. and it was like 8 so i was like no and blah blah then i notice he was ingoreing me.. i got mad.. and i told my friends the story. he hurts me.ditchs me.. they think i should forget about him but idk what i should do i really love him.. i cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him.. every mintue of my class i cant stop thinking about him! should i leave him or no?

p.s me and him are not going out .. we love eachother though.

please help i rate high!

You too are the average best friend couple. You don't get along and you have livs outside of each other and then when oyu realize how it hurts the other you make time for them. It's common among male/female relationships and I think you too should realize that you aren't together like that. Take some time off from being that close, and don't expect so much from each other, but alse he needs to know that he isn't being a good friend but rather a bad person by making you feel as though what he did wrong requires you to feel bad.

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Theres a dance tomorrow and I dont know what to do with my hair! Its red with blonde streaks. Its about to the bottom of my chest. I hate putting it up but it might be hot to leave it down? It gets really hot in the gym.

Any cute hairstyles -or websites!!- would be awesome. Also, how should I do my make-up?? I have really fair skin.. Ill rate high! =)

xox

You should try by putting your hair into a messy bun with twisties. get it? Like the twisties are done first and then you put the rest of your hair into a bun and it should look real cute and if you want you could take the bun out at the dance and then put it back when you get hot again. If the messy bun turns out right it would look really cute.

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I told my friend that i loved him. I wrote him a letter and basicly told him that I loved him and that even though we can't be together now I hope in the future we can be more than friends. (he moved to NC) Well he wrote me back and said cool. and then he's been ignoring me for the past two weeks. Well tonight I had a new sn on aim. and I IMed his sister..obviously thinking it was her lol. and he was like this is justin. and all I could say was "oh" and so he was like "oh. that's what i am to you!" he really confuses me. I mean if he liked me the same as I like him why won't he say it?! when i had a bf and it old him he said "we can't have a long distant relationship?" and when he lived up here by me. we would be close and hug and sometimes kiss each other on the cheek. i just don't know what's happening with this. I'm fine with us being close friends but I can't stand him acting like that. what should I do? we never really talk anymore. and it seems like he doesn't want me to every talk to him. and it makes me sad to know I'll never talk to him agian.

I advice you to talk to him about this. The problem can onl yget better if you know how he really feels. When he wrote you back and said cool, I don't think he really meant it like that, he may have meant that it's cool that you love him, but if didn't repeat that he loves you too and that maybe someday it may happen then you shouldn't assume that he feels the same. After you talk to him about it he will make it a lot better and you'll know where he stands and maybe you too are better as friends but you won' tknow how he feels and he won't feel at ease until you talk about the thing online and get him to say more then cool, or oh.

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hi! My friend has been absent from school for 3 months and has been in the hospital, most likely with cancer. I really want to visit her and cheer her up...the problem is that I don't know what to say or what to get her as a get-well present. By the way, she isn't coming back to school...she's homeschooled.

I have a male friend in the same position, he was out for half-the year and then went back into remission this year. We just made him cards our sleves (wich shows that you put thought into it instead of going out and buying card 2 minutes before you visit her). Then when you get there you ask how they are doing and if they need anything, tell them about school and chat like she's perfectly healthy, as you would if she was at school with you. And if she wants to ralk about the cancer then you should listen before trying to pretend you know what she's going through, and then you show how you feel for her. Hope this helps!

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Ok...ive been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and i love him with all my heart. Im only 14 but i know what love is. My mom said i cant see him that much. He lives about 30 min. away from me so i want to see him as much as possible. I walked out on her a few minutes ago and i dont intend to go home tonight. I dont really know what to do because she thinks im to young to be in love and i cant get her to understand that i really do love him. What should i do??

First you should go home, even if you think you are in love with this guy you can'twalk away from your family because they have your best interest at heart. If you want to be able to see him then maybe have him and your mother meet and caht (all 3 of you) and then maybe she'll let you see him a little more even if it isn't as much time as you'd like. Maybe this is true love but then again it might not be, you should give it time before you assume that you'll be in ove forever. if it does last then good luck but don't run out on your mother for a guy, that's the first sign that something's wrong, if you can't defend him without running out, running out shows that you aren't really secure and that you are starting to believe that your mother id right a little bit. Think things through and work them out together, and let your boyfriend know about this stuff he can help you too.

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I am a guy who has liked the same girl for a very very long time. We used to be real close, but then she found out that I liked her and things got weird between us. She would never talk to me, ignore me, that kinda thing. So I made up a lie, I posted on my xanga that I didnt like her anymore although I think she still suspects. Anyway, we've been getting along ALOT better ever since I said that. Should I just go ahead and come out? If I do come out, should I ask her out?

Here's how this type of thing goes. You like her but she may not feel the same way so she was avoiding you for a while, until you said that you don't like her and now everything is better because she isn't afraid you'll ask her out and she'll have to hurt your feelings and possibily ruin the friendship. So if you really wanna tell her you should go for it but make sure to add in there that if she doesn't feel the same about you then things will still be the same, you can remain friends and such.

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i like this boy but he has a gf. He flirts with me all the time, more than he even talks to her. The girlfriend is also my friend so i wouldn't want to hurt her but he is so cute and funny. I'm attracted to him. He calls me hobbit because i am exactly a foot shorter than him. he's 6 ft and i'm 5 ft. Whenever we are talking and flirting we have fun but then his gf comes along and he stops. Once we had this chatroom thing with me, him, and his gf (i'm friends with tho) and it was one of the most awkward thing for me. I don't know...it was fun and we were alltalking but at one point it was all me and him and it was so nice. Please help-i can't tell him that i like him tho cuz he does have a gf and she will get mad at me and not be my friend even tho she suspects and it and all her other friends do too

I say you go for it. Let him know how you feel if you trust him enough to not tell her. Then if he feels the same then you should take it from there but if not then you two can remain friends it will be as though nothing happened.

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