Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29577
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there's this woman cashier I see whenever I frequent this store. she is always extra happy to see me, she is always smiley and says hi too me, she isn't like that with anyone else, just me. she even gets upset if I ignore her..I find it funny, my brother told me to give her my number maybe we could hang out...now im not the outdoorsy/travel type, and ive given my number to people in the past whom I thought would be cool and boy did that take a turn for the worse...talk about obsessive/possessive/clingy/and start falling in love and I don't like women EWWWW... so I said im done, never again...and that was about 7 yrs ago...people scare me....I just keep to myself, I don't go out like I used too etc.....should I put myself back out there and meet new people/give her my number, or just continue to keep to myself? thanks (link)
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There's a dilemna! It's quite true that living 'the single lfe' avoids a great many of life's hassles, problems and anxieties. I'm sure most guys would testify to that! However, by doing so we miss out on a great many of life's pleasures. I would be inclined to say that seven years of being your own man, as you might say, is probably enough for now. And it might well be time to have another try? In dating, meeting and getting to know someone we do not, of course sign a legally binding contract up front. There is no 'penalty clause' if either drop out. Why not roll the dice and see what happens? Don't let previous negative experiences influence you in evaluating the new potential relationship. Different day, new game. Go in open-minded and with no preconceptions.
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Hi :) , i gave him a "valentine message" telling him that i never should've told him about my feelings for him , and asking him why he doesnt.talk to me...he then spoke to me and told me that its good that i told him about my feelings and he also told me that the reason he doesnt speak to so much than to other girls is that that he know other girls better than me and that he has more lessons with them than with me...also yesterday at school , i met him at the lockers before the school started and it was less awkward...but even after we talked it still hurts me so much., i want to get over him.so badly but i cant, not only he's good-looking, but i cant be mad at him bc he's so good as a person, i never wanted to fall in love with him,i dont want to have feelings for him, i just want to be friend with him, but maybe he doesnt :/ ....and about my friend Diana , i asked her if she wanted to go out and she said she would think it through and then let me know and she never did :/ i dont know if caroline and diana are my true friends ...i want to go out on friday, but im embarrassed to always ask them to hang out with me, i feel like im annoying,even when i ask my best friend to hang out and she always says she's busy.. why nobody wants to go out with me ? ...nobody has asked to hang out, its always me who asks someone to hang out,also no one ever texted me first to ask me.how i am...im sorry , i sound like a total loser :/
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You don't sound like a loser at all. Our friends often genuinely are busy. Suggest hanging-out whenever you want, and don't take a 'not tonight' result as a personal insult or proof that you are annoying and/or ugly, not likeable etc etc....When you are together be good company, and enjoy yourself. I really do appreciate how you feel about this guy. Loving someone who just does not feel this strongly back is basically, shit. There's nothing good about about, it does hurt. A lot. At least he is being decent and adult about it. His rejection is damaging you though. It is eating away at your self-confidence. Quite a lot of the time in life we have to learn to take knock-backs and pick ourselves up again and carry on. It's not easy, but we have to. When you write I always think what a thoughtful, caring and decent person you sound. Don't let this 'harden' you too much. These are beautiful qualities in a person and great things to bring to a relationship. When you share them with someone who DOES feel the same about you, then guess what? It won't feel just 'ok' or 'nearly as good' as how you imagine things would be with this guy. It will feel much, much BETTER. I guarantee it. We cannot replace a 'something' with a 'nothing' however. Waiting for the hurt to heal might be a long wait. Best to start moving-on. Start right now. I recall you have a move to university life coming up soon? How about drawing a line under all that's happened here. You've learned some stuff, about life, about feelings, about yourself. There are positives in there. Some useful things to take forward. Some things and people to leave in the past. This is a great opportunity to draw that line. A real physical 'change' of your life. You'll live and love again. You'll be happy again. Sometimes you'll be hurt again. Sometimes you'll laugh. Sometimes you'll cry. Good days. Bad days. None of us can take just the good parts. Take only the things we want. That's LIVING and you're doing OK at life mate. I assure you. XX
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Hello, so a few months back I adopted a cat from a shelter who turned out to have fleas. I know he has them because I keep spotting flea dirt (feces) where he sleeps and every once in a while a flea will jump off of him.
I have been treating him with a flea collar, flea pills (like pills I feed him that are supposed to kill the fleas in 6 hours), and the flea medication that goes on their neck once a month.
The weird part of this is that I sit him down about every 2 days and groom him with a flea comb all over his fur (short hair). Do I find any fleas? No. Do I see any flea dust? No.
I'm getting extremely frustrated because I don't know what to do. He's confined to a master bedroom and a bathroom and I routinely change the sheets and vacuum, but that's about as much as I can do because I live in an apartment with a roommate who has a dog and her own room so I can't do a flea bomb because I have nowhere else to put the cat while it's going off.
I feel like fleas are impossible to get rid of because their eggs are so tiny that they're bound to be anywhere/everywhere. I could treat the carpets and wash everything all in one day, but then one flea could be under the mattress you know?
Once several years back my family had one cat and they spent thousands of dollars treating their place and their cat who had fleas and nothing ever worked. They just learned to deal with the cat having fleas and tried to keep it to a minimum .
The only hope I feel like I have is moving in a few months to another place and having him flea bathed at the vet before I take him into the new location. However, I recall my friends doing this exact thing with their puppy who had fleas and it didn't work because the flea bath didn't kill all the fleas so the new place just got reinfested. I remember they spent a lot of money on it too!
Augh help please?
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Sounds odd. If I groomed a cat with a fine-toothed flea comb and could not ever trap an actual flea or find any flea dirt I would tend to think the cat has no fleas? Especially if I had been treating it. Those little drops you mention which you put where the cat cannot lick tend to be very effective, even without pills. Fleas and eggs can survive a long time in soft furnishings and carpet edges etc, but they will always be looking to hop onto a likely host, ie your cat, and once onboard they'll have a hard time surviving with his meds out to kill them! I'd say that far more people keep their cats free of fleas with what you are doing than hiring pest control guys and/or fumigating their homes. As if they have such a hostile host they must die off? Only thought is that, there are many different fleas and most cannot live and breed on anything other than their specific host animal, I believe? Might what you see hopping off your cat be dog fleas leaving their unsuitable host? That would explain why you find no dirt, and why you don't find fleas actually living on the cat? Has your housemate checked her dog?
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Friends, I'm going to have to ask that you dont ask why I need this, but I wanna know how I can photoshop a DNA test like the ones they do on ancestry.com for the desired results. Don't ask, just tell me how to do it. Thank you. (link)
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You would have to scan the document (if it is on paper) as a .pdf file at at least 300 dpi. Or it may already be a .pdf. If the .pdf is protected you'll still have to scan it unless you can decrypt it. Either way you'll have a .pdf. You then open the .pdf in photoshop and choose 300dpi as the resolution. It will appear with all the black text and graphics as a layer, over a pale chequerboard 'transparent' layer. Fill the transparent layer with white then flatten all layers. It will now look like a sheet of white paper with text/graphics upon it. (1) Use the rectangular marquee tool on any white area to select a small rectangle the size and shape of the text/gaphics you want to cover. Use paste as new layer command then use the arrow tool to move the white rectangle over what you want to cover and then use 'flatten all layers'. Repeat everything fom (1) as many times as you need to to obliterate anything you want to change. Now use the text tool to write what you want to say/change it to in every case. Create text as 'floating layers' Use the arrow key to position each piece of text/element in precisely the right place. When you have finished use 'flatten all layers' to rasterize all the text layers. You will have to match the font and it's size to exactly that of the 'original' text you have not replaced or it will look all wrong. If you can't, you'll have to replace all the text in a similar font. Finally save the file as a .pdf. It will print nice and clean. Dragging 'guides' from the ruled-border in Photoshop will help you get your text and graphics nicely aligned on the page, and make the job look very slick. If you are a bit hit-and-miss about this it shows.
PS. I'll just point out that I'm not a forger, I'm a photographer and have spent more hours using Photoshop than is strictly healthy!!
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I have a huge problem with oversleeping and crawling into bed for naps during the day only to still be asleep long past the intended time. This is an issue because I'm a incredibly busy person. I work full time, I'm taking 18 college credits (US), I'm the VP of a big organization on campus, and I'm also trying to get back into the dating world.
Lately though all I want to do is sleep and its gotten to the point I missed two classes and a meeting last week because I slept right through my alarm. My boss also called me the other day about how I'm not working as many hours and he needs me to work more or he's going to have to find somebody else to replace me who can.
I'm just so exhausted all the time and it's majorly stressing me out. I want to have a normal schedule, but what usually happens is I wake up sometime between the hours of 10am and 12pm, go to classes until around 4pm, go back to sleep until 7pm, wake up, eat, shower, do various other tasks, then either work (I work from home) or do homework until 2 or 3am because I slept so late and then the cycle repeats.
If I try to go to sleep earlier and wake up in the morning to do homework or work, it never gets done. I've tried multiple times. I wind up just hitting snooze endlessly until I absolutely have to get up and then I don't get my work done.
I don't even think about it when the alarm goes off, I immediately hit snooze and go back to sleep. I don't even have time to tell myself not to before I'm asleep again.
On the weekends it's even worse. I can easily sleep until 3pm, be up for a few hours, go back to sleep around 6 or 7, wake up at 10, do stuff until 3, and repeat.
I also have a hard time doing things because I wind up in such a fog after napping, but I can't just tell myself not to nap, When I get tired, I'm asleep ten minutes later. I can't force myself awake.
I have tried caffeine through coffee, other drinks, and even caffeinated vitamins and pills. They don't do anything except give me an upset stomach.
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Hi. Well, extra vitamins can supplement the normal resources of the body but are only really useful if you have an identified lack/shortage of any particualr one. Caffeine has no energy value whatsoever. It makes us believe we have more energy for a short time simply by 'masking' the symptoms of low energy. The only way we can gain extra energy is by eating (or drinking heavily enriched 'sports' protein preparations). In normal daily life (ie, when not doing some sort of vigorous physical execrise) our brain is about the highest energy-consumer. Thus lack of focus and disorientation (our mental 'fog') is likely to be the first give-away that we are constantly taking more out than we are putting in. My opinion? You are trying to do far too much here. You need to prioritise. If you do not you run the risk of having the decision on what you do or don't choose to do taken away from you. Because your performance will suffer to the point where you don't do any of them very well and they will indeed be lost to other people. The workload you have now is only sustainable for short periods, not long term. Think about the time it takes a world-class sprinter to cover 100 metres. Could he or she, then run 1500 metres in 15 times that? Nowhere near! Energy is a finite resource and we have to have some sort of energy-management plan. Burn it all over a blistering 100 metres? Or a much more controlled release over 1500? But we cannot do both!
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Hello, what's my guy mate trying to say? am I reading or thinking too much? Very recently, he's started to call me sweetheart, sweetie pie and darling in our months friendship. He mentions and says, 'you're my friend' at least twice when we meet up and having a chat. Now I'm aware that it could be normal but I so want to know the view from u all. I do fancy him though. Thanks for the answers. Cheers! (link)
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I agree with Dragonflymagic. Do you get a chance to see with other females? Clearly, if all of them he is familiar with are 'sweetheart' or 'darling' etc then it almost certainly has no significance that you are 'sweetheart' as well. Here in the UK a lot of born-and-bred London guys use such terms as "Alright, darling?" and "Cheers, sweetheart" all the time even as a greeting and a parting comment between a shop salesman and a female customer who have never even met before. Anyone from schoolgirls to old-age pensionners are equally likely to be 'sweetheart'! Re-iterating your 'friendship' may be to affirm it in his own mind or reassure himslef that you consider him as your own friend. Once more, frequency of use is the key to determining the significance. Some people always like to repeatedly get this affirmation/reassurance and use it a lot. Is he the 'everybody's mate' type? Or typically more reserved?
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So I pretty much want to forget about my dad he hurt me a lot and I even searched the internet for help but nothing helped me My dad was abusive and he cheated on my mom a lot. He also sexually assaulted me when I was little. Pretty much my mother had me at a young age around 15. And my 'father' was fine and all as I can recall. But when my mother left to work he would bring me with him and he would pick up a woman and bring them over to our house and well you know have sex with them. What was worse is that I had to be in the room with them when they were doing that, I remember when he did that and he turned all the lights off cuz u suppose he didn't want me to see I dont know and when he did I would cry silenty. He left me when I was 5 and I never knew he was abusive towards my mother till the day he hit her in front of me and my brother and I tried defending her and when she called the police he left and I heard he is in mexico now I always try forgetting him but its hard and he pretty much affected my life. Please give me some advice...... (link)
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It will, sadly prove impossible to ever forget what has happened, or the person of your father. We would call what you experienced 'significant trauma'. We have to 'process' trauma in our minds. To come to terms with what has happened. To resolve it. Resolution comes only through acceptance. This does not mean you should accept that what he did was OK. And most certainly not accept that you should take some share of the responsibility for it. Which clearly you did nothing to cause, solicit or encourage. The acceptance we need is to accept "Yes. This happened to me. I cannot change it." Again, we are not talking about forgiveness, or understanding why he did it. Merely "I accept." This is not for his benefit. It is for yours. It is to stop what he did having any negative impact on your future. It is so that you can let it go and move forwards. To delve even more deeply, while this is unresolved it will always keep you in a 'victim mentality'. This is not a good place to be. It attracts re-victimisation in so many other aspects of your life. It holds you back. It undermines your confidence and self-esteem. Mate, you are NOT his victim anymore. Don't let his vile acts hurt you again and again by spoiling your future. You are stronger than him. You are bigger than what he did. You survived it. You're a survivor.
ps This looks like half an answer? As humans we 'process' trauma by passing through these phases: Shock-Denial-Anger-Grief-Acceptance. We pass through them in this order and we cannot skip a phase. Where do you feel you are in the sequence right now? Clearly no longer shock, and not denial either as you have recounted the events. Have you become 'frozen' in the 'Anger' phase? Perhaps still so angry that you have not properly grieved? Have a think about this. It might mean revisiting some dark parts of your mind. Be very strong, and drag them out into the light so they can't hide away and undermine you. You can see that 'acceptance' is the end-stage? You WILL get there. X
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Hi, what does it mean when the guy mate says, "i like you too much" over a minor situation. We do joke and flirt back and forth. Could someone help? Short and simple answers please. Thanks ever so much! (link)
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Is there some real reason why 'liking you too much' is a problem has to be my first line of enquiry? Either of you married or have a serious partner? Awkward age gap? Backgrounds appear too different? A working relationship which would make things awkward if you didn't click, or alternatively, awkward if you DO? If there isn't a genuine reason, or a perceived reason you could work through or around, then you might well suggest there's no such thing as liking someone too much the next time the phrase appears and put him on the spot. Assuming you like the idea of giving it a try yourself. If there are real reasons why you shouldn't then it could be a tactful way of keeping things (meaning YOU) at arms length, at least at present. If there are no such reasons, I should say that he's looking for a positive affirmation from you that you are up for being 'liked' plenty!
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I'm a virgin and all of my sexual fantasies include an element of BDSM. Is this normal? (link)
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Quite agree! Nothing to worry about here. It's a fetish. Something which appeals to us sexually. Possibly just the idea. Possibly actually doing it. A pair of consenting adults in a relationship might try some fun on a BDSM theme. To whatever limits they agree, or discover they both enjoy. Or it might just remain something you find arousing personally and never try. This one is all rooted in a 'control' thing. Loosely tying someone's wrists, for instance, (with a soft tie they could easily shake off if they wanted to) can give one partner the feeling of being in control, the other a feeling of being 'helpless to resist'. This power-game does not imply any degree of dominance-submission in the whole relationship. And it may well be the guy who enjoys being helpless! It's not an uncommon fetish and there are outfits and toys in adult/sex shops to make things as elaborate and showy as you wish. The whole 'theatre' experience. Harmless fun for couples who 'like' and a harmless fantasy for people who just like the idea. Those who 'don't like' can tend to see role-play like this as a bit silly and pointless. More likely to make them laugh than to make them feel horny! Others might find the idea shocking and not natural. Especially if they fail to grasp the 'fantasy' aspect of it as a sex-game and feel it might suggest an abusive, over-controlling relationship outside the bedroom. If you indeed find you become someone who enjoys such things, make a mental note NEVER to use any toys or accessories which could restrict the breathing of you or your partner. This could prove a disater. Rare, but it has been known.
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I have no interest in anything. I'm disabled. So - at least for me - life is meaningless, because all life is is waking up, going to school/work, playing with your hobbies and then you go to sleep and repeat the same cycle all over again.
I have looked into finding interests for years, but I just am not interested in *anything*. I'm disabled, so I can't drive anywhere or go to work/school.
So what do I do when life is meaningless? Do I just lay here and wait for death?
(I'm done seeing therapists and taking prescription drugs, by the way. I have cooperated and put forth plenty of effort with multiple therapists, but it only made me feel worse. And I've been prescribed a multitude of different medications, but they only make me feel dizzy and drowsy.) (link)
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Your summary of life is basically correct. We get up, pursue our personal projects and work in order to fund them. We have our human relationships, some close, some casual. We find various amusements, and sometimes our amusements singulalrly fail to amuse us much at all! And we repeat the act day after day. I'm not convinced myself that we are born with anything other than the fact of mere existence. That curious thing we call 'meaning' is purely what we impose and impress upon our own lives. By the ideologies we embrace, how we act on them, which ones we pursue and which we dismiss. Lives are made by living. In a way we are all waiting to die as well. So what meaning do you want to imprint on YOUR life? How do you want to define yourself? There may be some wishes that your disability absolutely rules out. Some that it make no difference to. That's a moving target though and often comes down to how much we want it. We might call it impossible that a guy with double below the knee amputations might become a sprinter. And turn 100 metre times not so very much slower than atheletes with two legs. Certainly, a whole lot faster than I (who has no such disability) ever could! We may call Stephen Hawking's disabilty severe in the extreme. Yet he is among the most respected physicists in the world, and has been involved in projects at the highest level. He has even become something of a very high-profile 'celebrity scientist' by overcoming such challenges. We admire him even more? And how many other particle physics braniacss can you name? Let your mind roam. Dream. Kick ideas around. In your own head. With friends. Sort out the wheat from the chaff, as they say. The 'best fit' dream becomes an idea. The idea grows into a plan. And a man (or woman) with a plan becomes a force to be reckoned with. The plan creates it's own dynamics. It's own motive-force. It generates momentum. Soon you don't carry the plan, the plan carries you along with it. You can make your life meaningless, most certainly. You can make it into anything. Within reason.
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Hi :) I know i said i hate him,i didnt mean it like that, im just really really mad at him bc of what he is doing to me but i still kinda like him and i know he wouldnt dare to say anything or do anything bad to other girls in class, he is always nice to them...on tuesday, on valentines day, we have valentines post at school(we can write messages to each other, then put it into the box and then during the day the message will be delivered to this person), i want to write him(through this post)to ask him why is he acting to me like that,to as him if its bc i connfessed to him about my feelings,..i really dont want to write him anything romantic, i just want to use this opportunity to ask him that bc im too scared to ask him in person(is it a good idea)...and about my friends...i cant tell if they consider me as their friend, i feel that some days they act to me really friendly, and some days i feel like they dont talk to me that much, ohh i dont know, or i would want to know how the boys really feel about me bc, they act to me differently then to other girls in class,they say things they wouldnt dare to say to other girls bc i have my twin brother in my class and boys are friends with them, boys take me as their friend´s sister, and HE was really different with me, he was the only guy in class acted really nice to me, its why im so devastated that he acts so bad to me (link)
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Hi. You appear convinced that because you have a twin brother who shares your classes and circle of friends it is making them act differently towards you. Is having your twin on the scene all the time making you FEEL different? If it is they may picking-up on your feelings a bit? You might accidentally be kind of alienating YOURSELF a bit and they are just reading your feelings. They might be a little unsure of how friendly and approachable you are? It is just a thought. Could you in some way give out the message that you are a person in your own right, not just his twin sister? Regarding the guy you still like, you really must try to move on from him. You could write him a note saying you are sorry that you misread the situation and declared you love for him. But that you would still value him as a friend, so could we try to get over the awkwardness that seems to have arisen since you told him and be 'good friends' again? It may not work, as he might think that this episode is all long past, and not truly be aware that he is upsetting you at all? Make sure that your motive is not hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him, such that he will say he wants to be your boyfriend. If this is your actual motive you should really forget the idea. For whatever reason, he seems NOT to want a relationship like that with you and so you must respect his decision. And dismiss the idea that there is some fault in you (looks, attitude, personality....whatever) that has put him off, or that these (imagined!) faults mean that NO guys will be attracted to you. It's just him. Although you say he is friendly with 'all the other girls' he isn't actually dating any of the seriously, is he? Maybe he simply does not want a full-on relationship with any girl just at the moment?
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Hi :) omg i cant do this anymore, it was a big mistake doing girls night out with Diana and Caroline , they probably just used me bc i paid everything for them them , and at school.the dont wait for me when we're going to luch after P.E, they only care about themselves, i had an amazing time last friday and i thought we became closer friends but i guess i was wrong, today we had 8th lesson all class together , so we ended together, we went together to locker for our coats etc...and none of my friends waited for me, not even diana or caroline waited for me, not even my twin brother with boys, NO ONE,(I felt so lonely going home alone 😥😥😥)why no one waited for me ??no one cares for me, am i so ugly or what am i doing wrong, why everybody treats me like piece of s**t? and i have my locker next to.Him , there was crowd of people at lockers and as i was putting my coat onand he came and took his coat and shoes really quickly and he pushed me on purpose, luckily i didnt fall on floor bc i fell on bench that was next to the locker, and then he asked me "Jane why are u sitting on someone's phone?" , he didnt say it in dimunitive like he always used to call me but in augmentative way, he wouldnt dare to do it to any other girl in class, like i said i regret telling him about my feeling for him, why is he doing to me, it hurts so much, i hate him, i dont want to go to school anymore ("i dont matter to anyone") (link)
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I think that hating your former crush is a big step forward. He hasn't behaved well towards you and you have seemed to understand and always forgive him for it. Disliking him for it is a more natural response and actually shows you are getting a better self-image. Not just accepting it. Good for you! Try not to read too much into your latest Friday. There is a good chance your friends did not deliberately leave you to walk home alone, and did not do it to put you down. It possibly just turned out that way. You are still putting out this typical low self-esteem message 'I am of no value'. To be honest, this does attract victimisation, and re-victimisation by others. Especially in environments like schools, where we are all thrown together with people, some of whom we would definitely not choose to be with. I recall you said you are off into higher-education soon? That will be a new set of people, and a new start. How about concentrating on that? Make sure you start off on the right foot. Meet the new people with an honest and open, friendly approach. Treat the last few months as a time in which you have learned plenty about relationships, and take what you have learned forward with you. You don't attach any value to yourself in this particular environment and seem certain that nobody values you either. Redefine yourself. Re-write yourself, if you prefer the term. Moving up to university education is a perfect opportunity to launch the new you. Unlike school, you don't go home. People are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. The relationships are much more adult and I think that should suit you better. I promise you that once you've got a bit more self-belief that you will look back at some of the things that are really upsetting you now and they will look like small children arguing in the playground. A lot of the people you are describing seem to be acting in very childish and immature ways. XX
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thankyou for reading this and
idk from where i should start...
i'm just gonna tell you everything that has happened with me over the last couple of years..
i lost my dad when i was 12
he was a very good person he took such good care of us...he died of cancer even though he never smoke or did drinking or any such sort of bad habits
and i lost "ME" the day i lost my dad and i am realizing it now as i start to think...
and after that we had to move to my grandfather's place as we had no one to take care of us
we had money though not like huge but it was enough my dad had worked very hard for every penny
and my grandfather helped my mom to build an apartment with the money we had and he also helped her a lot by lending money to my mother
and just 2 years ago our apartment got finished and also my Grandfather passed away in 2015
i can't take all of this really it is hurts me a lot alll these stuff i loved my Grandfather so much he was a very good person
and all my mother also cries everynight just thinking about what happened to my dad and grandfather
and my after i lost my grandpa i almost lost every family member as they started to show their true nature
the whole family and everyone was ...i don't even feel like talking about them
they were acting as if they are very nice and sweet when my grandpa was there and now that he's gone everyone is just yeah showing what they truly are....
i really don't know how to tell all the little stuff that cause the most pain....
that they all do.
i let all these things into my head and yeah i lost it ...
i didn't write my exam last year and i wasted an year and now i am at home everyday
sad ..and feeling lonely
but i took the re-exam december and i know i am not gonna pass because i don't like studying
i feel all these stuff is made by us
Go to school...
Study hard...
get good marks...
get a job at a place that gives you boat load of money...
marry a girl...
have kids....
i mean i am just tired of all these stuff
i don't know what to do with my life
and yeah i am also in love with a 21 year old girl(long distance)
met her online she is really very sweet
i have never met anyone like her till now
and i really just love her a lot
but ....
i told my mom about this thinking that she would help me to get together with this girl
( yah i'm an idiot i know )
but my mom denied(obiviously)
recently things haven't been good
it never has been good in my case
the girl i love also hasn't texted me back in couple of weeks and i am just Holding on
just Holding On...
i really don't know when i am gonna loose the Grip...
i really feel like dying
but..
yeah i also don't wanna Give up
people are usually like think about your mother and all the pain she's been through...
i really feel her pain
but..
they wouldn't say the same thing if they saw the world they way i see it
and wouldn't say these things if i saw the world the way they see it !
i am such an idiot !
i hate ME
i don't like me at all...
i just don't wanna live
but..
Hope is all i Got !
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There's an awful lot going on here for you to contend with, and to resolve. To make sense of. I can see why you're questionning the point of life as it all seems to have converged upon giving you the hardest time possible, in every way possible. It's times like this we have to dig deep. Really deep. There's not the luxury of planning and anticipating the good things that might come in some future days for you right now. The battle is purely a case of how much punishment you can soak-up without caving-in totally, eh? Well, every day, even every hour you don't give up is a victory. There are depths of resources in a man that he doesn't even know he has until he's driven to call on them. They are in you, and written large. They must be mate, or you'd have gone under by now! The only crumb of consolation I've got is that when you come out of the other end of all this shit, you'll be 'alive' like guys who haven't been there will never be. You'll know yourself. You'll know what you are capable of. I'm not playing the 'think of your mother' card to try to make you feel guilty. But keep her close. She's right there in the battle shoulder-to-shoulder with you. She's the only one who knows what you're going through because she's going through it too. She's on your side and we need all the allies you can get at a time like this.
Just keep hanging in there. Get mad at it. Yell at it if you need to. Rage at it. Anger is a resource. Half an ounce of it is worth more than 10 tons of self-pity. Tap into it. Use it. Your aiming half this anger at yourself at the moment mate. That's the wrong target! If you're gonna go down, don't crawl into a corner and roll over. Go out all-guns blazing man! You'll turn this around. But not if you quit.
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Hi :) , yesterday ,after long long time, i felt really happy at school ....it just sucks that i rui ned our friendship with him, last year we were talking and laughing together, we were friends ad we are like strangers...i just want to make it right with him but i dont know how....and next year im graduating but now i kinda have to decide on what college i'll go , but i cant decide bc i still ont know what job i want to do, it should include using languages bc im graduating from german and english and i also want to graduate from history (bc it really interest me), and i want job that would allowed me to travel bc i love travelling, and also something with photography bc my friend made me to make instagram and i kinda like adding pictures there....so i really dont know what job to do....and btw yesterday we had girls night out/my birthday party and it was amazing (link)
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Hi there. Glad the girls night out was such fun. The best cure for low moods is time spent in good company, that's for sure! In the UK some of our universities have high reputations for certain subjects. The LSE for business studies, Manchester University is well respected for computing and so on. That often figures in our choice. Also, they have open days for visits. You get a feel for the location, see the facilities etc. Another factor in making your choice. Does this apply to your country? Basically, whichever you choose it's a unique environment. Not home, not school, not work. We often make strong, life-long frindships there. And nobody ever says they wish they had not gone. You'll be fine and I am sure you will choose right. There's plenty of time decide on a career. My sister did languages and spent about four years after graduation teaching English as a foreign language to mostly business students. The contracts are arranged by agencies and will be just one academic year. then you get another. A new post, in a new country. Not usually highly paid to be fair, but you do get to travel and live in a foreign country for about a year with your home and often a car all provided. She had great fun. That might be a nice thing to do for a short time when you graduate? You could shoot lots of travel pictures too! You could go ito permanent teaching maybe? Journalism? Photo-journalism? Historical sites and buildings, at home and abroad usualy in the care of societies. Books, online articles, travel guides etc are plenty. There is scope for using your knowledge and writing/photographing them for the appropriate media. There is a whole world of opportunities when you graduate. Don't get too hung-up on worrying about it just yet. Enjoy your college life. When the time comes I feel sure you will choose and choose right. You didn't mess anything up with this guy. You came out and told him how you feel. That was brave, not stupid. It wasn't to be. That's all. Nobody is to blame. You will meet someone else who you feel strongly about, and when they feel just the same it will be fantastic. Try and forget this guy and move on. Keep up-beat, keep positive. Your life is stretching out in front of you. That's a bit scary, but it's exciting too. You can make what you want out of it. You are not a victim of circumstances, or other people's moods and choices. You are YOU. And you sound like an excellent young woman to me! XX
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Hi, this guy mate said,'it makes you attractive' and laughed slightly afterwards (sounded like he was flirting) because he was trying to get me smile as I don't smile much ( at least, that's what I'm told) so guys, am I reading too much?! What's he implying?? if possible, men point of view please but then all the answers are appreciated. Cheers all! (link)
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Sounds like he has a high regard for you at the very least and maybe more. Women do look attractive when they smile. We like to see women we like looking happy, relaxed and confident. Looking at the sultry, pouting 'bad girl' poses and expressions of models and celebrities you could well think otherwise? That's all pure 'theatre' mate, I can assure you. There is no actual contact or dialogue going on here. When it comes to 'real-life girls' in 'real-life situations' we love to see a smile. And if we happen to feel like we are the cause of it, so much the better. So smile!
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so last year I met my best friend and we got closer over the summer. But when school started, she was always getting mad at me. Like when we had running club, and i cut my foot, she got mad at me for not running. We ended up not talking for several days. We then got over it and were fine for a couple of weeks. It got worse and worse and she was getting mad at me for really simple things. Well last week she got mad at me for staying home from school because of an asthma attack. On Monday she ended our friendship, but then the next day I wasn't really talking to her and she asked me why i was acting weird. I finally realized how she really is because shes always hurting me and making me cry. I just don't want to end our friendship because she is the most amazing friend(besides being mean)and we are so alike. And when we're not fighting, we get along so well. What should I do? Also I'm 14 years old and I live in the US (link)
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I would say this is purely a matter of dynamics. Some people react rather explosively, as you might say to a situation which is not to their liking. They fire-off like a loose cannon. The volley of shots often serves to 'clear the air' to their satisfaction. It's done and over, and they see no reason why the friendship should not resume on it's previous footing afterwards. Others seek a more sedate and considered way to resolve differences. Let's talk about it, let me look at both sides of the argument and reach a considered verdict. No volley of cannon-balls flying about, thank you! Both have their merits and de-merits. The 'considered opinion' once made is hard to change. The volatile prson changes their opinion like the weather. It's seldom 'written in stone'. The more reasonable person may simulate, fake if you like, understanding and acceptance while storing-up silent resentment and annoyance. Which will one day emerge! We basically have to take our friends as we find them. Your friend, as you say is a good friend. OK. She tends to call out the heavy artillery when there is a difference of opinion. But once the smoke has died down, she's that same old good friend again. It's 'they way she is' and that's the end of it. She might mellow a bit in time. Meanwhile, have your bullet-proof vest handy at all times mate!
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whenever I am being teaching something in the class I don't seems to understand especially in mathematics why
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I doubt you have a 'problem with your brain'. Some people have a natural 'feel' for mathematics and take to it more readily than others. The 'others' become proficient in maths through 'drill'. Like soldiers learn by drill. Practicing over and over again. Comparing themselves to what is correct. That's how we learn many things and it's a particularly good method for mathematics. Even among those who enjoy mathematics (there are some!) there isn't going to be that 'light bulb moment' when they suddenly 'get' everything to do with all aspects of mathematics. It is a rather large playing field apart from anything else. I would suggest you try following the examples (often called 'worked examples' showing method and the correct result) in text books and learn by procedure. The 'drill' we talked about. Give it a try?
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I assume it's because every individual out there whom doesn't suffer from depression or chronic anxiety has this personal belief that everyone is in the correct state of mind to work, which is frankly far from the truth. Entirely honest I will be, I suffer with chronic pain that shoots throughout my whole body on a daily basis. I can barely get out of bed, or even talk for that matter because it tortures me so absurdly. People who don't experienced these illnesses just simply believe it's oh-so easy to just work. If I wasn't eligible for disability, I would rather take my own life for that'll be far less painful than working through this intense chronic pain everyday.
Thank you strongly for mentioning Richard Dawkins. I might just order his "The Magic of Reality" soon.
Damn, I wish I was even nearly as intelligent as you. Is it because you study a lot? I rarely ever study, which is probably the reason for my stupidity.
We're sort of having a conversation now which is leaving me laughing slightly, but it's only you're extremely helpful. (link)
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I believe our bodies know no difference between a percieved threat (in the case of anxiety disorders) and an actual physical threat? And therefore issue the same neuro-transmitters. We kick into our 'fight or flight mode' just the same. The responses are physical. Real, if you like. And how many think depression is just 'being in a bad mood'? Here in the UK even our health professionals are often criticised for not correctly diagnosing and treating psychiatric disorders. We marvel at medical/clinical achievements while matters psychiatric are always the 'Cinderella' science, unfortunately. I admire Dawkins tremendously. 'The Selfish Gene' is a master-work too. I think you will enjoy him. There is some absolutelt brilliant reasoning that genes propogate ideas as well as physical information. Purely because as civilisations and communities of men evolved, those with the best ideas flourished and increased. While those with crap ideas simply died out, usually as the inevitable reult of their crap ideas! He affirms that genetics are not striving towards a known or predestined final result. A plan demands a planner, and Dawkins won't have that! They are just selfishly taking any and every opportunity to promote and prosper their own particular 'brand'. I don't know that I'm exactly 'intelligent' but thanks. And you are by no means stupid, that much was obvious form the first time I read your questions and replies. I do often find that we encounter (many!) people whose understanding of even the simplest things around them is frankly, pitiful however. I'm sure you do too, eh? Like most people my loves and interests come and go. But good conversation is something I have never tired of and doubt I ever will. If you feel like shooting the breeze, or sharing some of your writing you could email me? artemis86@hotmail.co.uk.
And no more 'stupidity' comments please. My dear, if you were stupid I would have become bored with you LONG AGO!
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Hi :) we have one big break during school day , it's 20 minutes..and me and other two girl i hang out in school most, they're Caroline and Diana...but the two of them are better friends than they're with me , i just joined them...and we meet during this big break and we sit in canteen(like everyone does) and we talk and when we have lesson the whole class together , they always sit together, i sit with one of them if one of them is not in at school...but today during big break.they were talking and Caroline and Diana were deciding where they will hang out together and to didnt even ask me if i wanted to go with them..they're always tagging each other in facebook posts , they always take selfies but they dont invite me to join them.. its like they'werent my friends. when i have lessons with Diana , we sit together, i always talk with her, ask her some questions, but when im quiet, she deosnt talk to me, like i mentioned before i have tiwn brother , and.we have some lessons together, and when my twin brother is around , Diana will always talk to him, joke with him ...the girls in the class likes my twin brother better than me 😟, i dont want to go.to.school where no one likes me for.unknown reason, and bc of HIM ...i should never have told him about my feelings for him...and todau's my birthday and Diana wished me happy birthday on snapchat, but also some.friends which suprised me, but I wanted HIM to write something to me but he didnt :/ why ?? he didnt forget it's my birthday bc he did wish happy birthday to my twin brother, even though he rejected me i did wish him happy birthday, i really shouldnt have told him how i feel about him, it was HUGE mistake, im so mad at him bc he said we would still remain friends after he rejected me , but he's behaved so badly to me :((, why would he behave to me like that ? (link)
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Hi! It is difficlt enough to correctly guess why somebody does something. Guessing why the do NOT do something is often almost impossible. I should say if anybody wrote a list of people they know who did not wish them a happy birthday it would hevaily outnumber the list of those who did. Now, I do not think you are doing as badly as YOU think you are, as I have no doubt said. I think the fundamental key to you building a much stronger self-image is taking rather more control of your life than you are right now. You are constantly giving this guy the power to make or break your day by something he says or doesn't say, does or doesn't do. This is a significant power to hand to someone. You have to be very particular about who you give it to. This guy does not deserve it. Step one is to take that power away from him. The only reason his has it at all is by YOUR CONSENT. So stop giving it to him!! It sounds like you like Caroline and Diana? They seem to be around, on the outskirts of your life. Some days closer than others? That describes a lot of our friendships. Some suddenly become much closer, for some reason. Some friends become more distant. It just happens. Or doesn't happen. These 'connections' are not something we can arrange or set-up. You're doing OK. For goodness sake don't let this guy have such a strong influence on YOUR LIFE!
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Thank you for revealing that snip of that story to me. It is rather beautiful and easily makes me think of the way I enjoy writing. I'm so sorry I'm not saying much, I've just been ridiculously depressed and chronically anxious lately. I have been since I was little, but lately it's been getting worse. I'm having to file for disability and I just feel so very pathetic about it.
I'm thinking when I'm on disability (which I'm pretty positive I'll be accepted for because of my mega intelligent psychiatrist), I was going to spend my days learning and learning as much as I can. I'm an atheist now because I've simply given up on God. So I want to learn more about the Big Bang and evolution (which all my life I've been intrigued by). I also want to learn more about mental health.
Do you know any super detailed books on these subjects that I can order off thriftbooks.com?
Bonus question: how many vocabulary words should I focus on a week? (link)
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Hi there! I wonder why it is that when we are in the grip of conditions which are psychaitric we feel pathetic, inadequate and embarrassed? We do not feel this about physiological matters. Say, breaking a limb or an infection. Just stay positive. Even on the darkest days there is always one thing in this world which is bigger than your depression and anxiety. And that thing is TIME. I've no religious conviction myself either. If you want to look into a world where man acknowledges and accepts responsibilty for his state, actions and very existence (rather than passing the buck to 'Gods' and the supernatural) I would suggest any works by Professor Richard Dawkins. On the human condition the Swiss psychologist Carl Gustave Jung is a proper intellectual 'hero' of mine. Much of his work circulates around the theory that what we call 'our life' is purely the actions of attaching some 'meaning' to the cold fact of our mere existence. Dawkins argues that, why do we feel the need for a higher power, for 'something more'? Isn't the fact of our existence, the magnificent spectacle of our world enough? How much 'more' do we need? Likewise, I would number Nietzsche among my heroes. He proposed that our ever-increasing scientific knowledge had 'killed God' but we had yet to come up with anything capable of replacing a God. If we are to live in our 'godless world' man has to step-up and become more than himslef. Become 'super-man' and be held accountable. To choose right because it IS RIGHT, not because he fears the punishment of gods if he doesn't. What a supreme crowning glory that would be for mankind, eh? Any investigation into the world of mental conditions must surely begin with Freud? There is no 'normal person', there is only 'normal behaviour'. Thus there are only people who have identified their particular tendency to divert from the normal behaviour and act to correct it (The Compensated). And those who have not identified it, and so cannot (or will not) correct it. (The Uncompensated). I'm not very clued-in on people who can wax lyrical on the origins of the big bang and matters of the cosmos I'm afraid. It's a bit out of my sphere! OK, a lot out of! Carl Sagan? SETI? Anything in the CERN project (that huge 'collider' thing in Switzerland. Fundamental particles and all that. I'd imagine that's all about breaking existence down to it's most basic building block?).It is possibly a pretty fruitless path to add random words to our vocabulary in the hopes of being able to use them at some point! How about, no targets. Just write down some stuff, and if you feel there should be a single word which could replace a whole sentence (or more!) then identify it? There usually is! Lovely to hear from you. Perfectionist, author, seeker. I like you!
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