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Life is meaningless; what do I do now?
I have no interest in anything. I'm disabled. So - at least for me - life is meaningless, because all life is is waking up, going to school/work, playing with your hobbies and then you go to sleep and repeat the same cycle all over again.
I have looked into finding interests for years, but I just am not interested in *anything*. I'm disabled, so I can't drive anywhere or go to work/school.
So what do I do when life is meaningless? Do I just lay here and wait for death?
(I'm done seeing therapists and taking prescription drugs, by the way. I have cooperated and put forth plenty of effort with multiple therapists, but it only made me feel worse. And I've been prescribed a multitude of different medications, but they only make me feel dizzy and drowsy.)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I am sorry to hear about your depression. I am not disabled but I know what it feels like to feel like you can't do something.
I struggle with this daily and the only thing physically I have to battle is my weight.
No you just don't wait to die. You are correct in trying an alternate route with out medication. Some people need it but many do not.
What do you do now? You dig deep with in yourself. YOU can pull yourself out of this.
I know you don't believe it now but you will. Join some online support groups on Facebook. Google a little and see what disabled people do. See if you can find something to do that you will be proud of. I don't know you but I admire you. I believe you are here to show people that NOTHING can hold them back. It's not easy ... but is anyone's life easy? Everyone has something to battle. I have pulled myself out of some pretty low places and I know you can too.
Believe in yourself and everyone else will. Believe in yourself and watch the world change around you.
Trust those words. You are meant to do more. We all have a purpose. Start by believing in it.
I wish you all the best in your journey. It will change I promise!! but only if you want it to.
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No interest in life or anything is a common and big sign of depression. You seem to think because you are disabled that you cannot thrive and lead a normal and enriching life. That belief is pardon my word choice utter bullshit. You have just adopted negative view of self. A disability is not an inability or obstacle to anything you want to do. There's always another way and a way around it.
As far as therapists go not all of them are good and NONE have the degree and expertise of a psychiatrist which you need here. That doesn't mean you are abnormal it means you need to work through some stuff and function normally and as though you don't have a disability dictating your life.
I know that you don't want to be on medication and that what you have tried isn't working. If you feel drowsy all the time and feel worse make sure the doctor knows that and keep on them about it. You're in a situation where you are on the wrong meds or have improper dosages affecting you adversely. They need to get it right and you have to be vocal about it or it will not change at all or for the better. You have a life worth living but need to be shown you do.
Also, keep a log book of what your moods are like and how often you go from depressed to happy to excited and crashing into despair. You need to take that to the appointment with the psychiatrist and other doctor you see so they have a road map on how to treat you and fix problems with meds. Life will get better if you do that. Been there.
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Your summary of life is basically correct. We get up, pursue our personal projects and work in order to fund them. We have our human relationships, some close, some casual. We find various amusements, and sometimes our amusements singulalrly fail to amuse us much at all! And we repeat the act day after day. I'm not convinced myself that we are born with anything other than the fact of mere existence. That curious thing we call 'meaning' is purely what we impose and impress upon our own lives. By the ideologies we embrace, how we act on them, which ones we pursue and which we dismiss. Lives are made by living. In a way we are all waiting to die as well. So what meaning do you want to imprint on YOUR life? How do you want to define yourself? There may be some wishes that your disability absolutely rules out. Some that it make no difference to. That's a moving target though and often comes down to how much we want it. We might call it impossible that a guy with double below the knee amputations might become a sprinter. And turn 100 metre times not so very much slower than atheletes with two legs. Certainly, a whole lot faster than I (who has no such disability) ever could! We may call Stephen Hawking's disabilty severe in the extreme. Yet he is among the most respected physicists in the world, and has been involved in projects at the highest level. He has even become something of a very high-profile 'celebrity scientist' by overcoming such challenges. We admire him even more? And how many other particle physics braniacss can you name? Let your mind roam. Dream. Kick ideas around. In your own head. With friends. Sort out the wheat from the chaff, as they say. The 'best fit' dream becomes an idea. The idea grows into a plan. And a man (or woman) with a plan becomes a force to be reckoned with. The plan creates it's own dynamics. It's own motive-force. It generates momentum. Soon you don't carry the plan, the plan carries you along with it. You can make your life meaningless, most certainly. You can make it into anything. Within reason.
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Wow your disabled just like me. You don't say how disabled you are as there are degrees of disablement. I'm somewhat fortunate that I can get around to some degree. I can walk with a cane but not far. I can drive a car if I absolutely have to but with what causes my disability it had better be an emergency for I could be a danger to others if pain were to strike while driving.
Given all of that I still manage to stay busy during the day. I was disabled in a car accident the only innocent involved and the only one injured. This was almost 14 years ago. I could no longer work at the job I loved and my whole world turned upside down. I became depressed.
My therapist suggested I find things that interest me that I can do from home. This answer questions on topics I am knowledge able in is one of those things. I write not to be published but to exercise my brain and personal enjoyment. I am also well known in my community as the go to person for getting things done from the County Government. Why, because I became active in politics via the WEB. When I write to any of my representatives I no longer get boiler plated replies. They respond with answers or fix what needs fixing. The Internet has opened a whole new world of interests for me that allow me to involve myself in things without leaving home.
Now I do enjoy some things outside the house and we select those based on how I feel on any given day and how my disability is affecting me. One thing I enjoy is fine dining. Using Google maps we select restaurants based on close in parking or ones that over valet service. This has worked out very well and once a month my wife and I have a date night.
There are also many places we could go that offer wheelchairs for use while visiting. I'm not ready to commit to using a wheel chair though I do go shopping with my wife for groceries and use one of the motorized carts they provide.
I have found life does not really change just because of a disability. Life is always about what you put into it. You did not say just what your disability is. You were able to contact us so you have your mind and the ability to use the Internet; this is a good start. What you need to do know is evaluate what you able to do and see what aids you need to do that. What will the Internet bring into your life to occupy your day? Use the Internet to expand your horizons. You may even think about becoming an advisor on this site. Life does not have to stop just because you are disabled you just need to make some adjustments to move forward.
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