Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
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Hey everybody! I hope you have fun answering this question! :)
Guess what!? I need some flirting tips! So go ahead and tell me some, I don't care what they are, just tell me! :P Anything you know about flirting, kissing, etc... in general would be great! 'Cause I need that type of advice right now! Thanks a bunch! :D (link)
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I am not good at flirting but I am going to answer this anyway. Definitely smile, but don't giggle too much. That can be annoying. Make eye contact. I read somewhere that you should make eye contact for about 10 seconds, look away for 5, then make eye contact again and look away, etc. That works better than steady eye contact, or too little.
Get them to talk about themselves and really act interested. Keep the conversation going by asking questions or making comments about them.
Touch them when it seems natural, like put your hand on their upper arm for a few seconds. But don't do this too soon after getting to know them. It all has to do with timing, and how they respond to you.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? (link)
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Stupid people ask the same kind of questions that smart people ask - ones they don't know the answer to.
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How can i tell if my man has a yeast infection??? I had one a while back like say 6 months ago, and we tried to have sex well i had it without a condom he just slipped it in there but it hurt to much so he pulled out, could he have a yeast infection??? And he really wants me to give him oral sex but im scared becase of the yeast infec thing, could i get it in my mouth??? what does it look like if i get it in my mouth?? I dont wanna say to him "what if you have a yeast infection?" cause then that will jsut embarass him... also his penis always smells bad when i go to give him oral, it always smells really nasty, how do i tell him that i cant do it cauase it smells bad???? PLEASE HELP!!! (link)
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Men don't usually get yeast infections on their penis unless there is another health problem involved. He won't "catch" it from you. Yeast is just something in the air, and only becomes an infection if the conditions are right. (There is another question about yeast in my column about 3 or 4 questions down with more information.)
It is also very unlikely that you would get a yeast infection in your mouth for the same reasons. There has to be something else going on in your body for that to happen.
He may just not be clean and smell, but actually, men just smell, even when they are just out of a shower. I am sure women do to.
Don't give him oral sex if you don't want to. It is not something girls just love to do (in spite of guy's fantasies.) Usually there has to be a good reason to do it.
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I am a 51 year old divorced woman. I have never had an affair with a married man until a year ago. To make a long story short,,,,,,he professes to love me and I surely love him. However he says he will not leave his marriage until his kids are out of high school. He says he wont do that to them. When I met him he was not even sleeping with his wife and refused to go to counseling. About 6 months ago she found out about us and filed for divorce. Since then my beloved has moved back into bed with his wife and started counseling with her. He says he is pretending until the kids who are 12 and 15 are grown. Advice (link)
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It sounds like he wants it both ways, to stay married and to have you on the side. It is up to you if you want to put up with it, but I wouldn't. Besides, if he did leave his wife for you, he has a high risk of doing it again... looking for someone on the side when he is with you.
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I was wondering if I would like to become a girkk do you think my parents would aggry with me or do you think you can get me a really cute bisexual girl friend? Shane Yoho /I am 14 and am a boy. (link)
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Um, doesn't your title line say you want a girlfriend? Then you are thinking about getting a bisexual girlfirend? I don't think you should consider becoming a girl.
No doctor would do a sex change on someone so young. Doctors usually do extensive psychological screening to make sure this is the right thing for you. It doesn't sound like it.
I have heard guys say they wish they were women just because they think it is easier for women to get sex. Maybe this is your case.
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Hi, right now I'm 14 and my boobs have stopped growing. I wear like an AA30 which is realy small and embarrasing. I was thinking about over the summer I could try some breats enlargement pills. I searched and the best place I could find is Small Breast Solutions.com Do you think I should try these. I'm sure I want to (for myself) so I can feel what it is like to be a girl. (I know I sound stupid.) I asked my mom and she is okay with it. I know the ingreadients and I know I know what I'm doing. I think it is better than plastic surgery (whith all the bad outcomes.) But I'm not sure about my friends and this guy who is my really close friend. (I told them I had stopped growing.) (Guys how would you feel if a girl you knew was using this?)I'm not going to tell anyone. Thank you so much for advice! (link)
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You are 14! You won't stop growing until at least 18. I know I kept growing into my 20's. You may just be slowing down and will eventually start growing again. There are also other factors involved in breast size besides age. As you get older, you will gain weight, and when you are pregnant your breasts will get bigger, too.
I also looked at the website you mentioned. I'm a little sceptical.
Quoted from the FAQ's - "It's the perfect time to use SBS since you'll be losing fatty tissues in the breasts, you'll want to replace them with healthy, new, lean breast tissues."
Normal female breast tissue is not "lean."
Also quoted - "Realistically, six months is typically the standard time frame for significant tissue growth. For some it may take longer. And yes, the Complete System is absolutely the smartest choice for those wanting to obtain Maximum results. Try our potent Breast Enhancing Soap as well"
Note that they give a 6 month guarantee, but then state that that is the standard time and may take longer. That is essentially double talk, and not a guarantee.
I would wait until you are a lot older before I would be concerned that your breasts will not grow any more.
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Another question sparked my interest and I realized that even if I had a yeast infection I dont think I'd even know.
Can anyone give me an explanation as to a) what it is b)what the symptoms are c) when or why it occurs.
Thanks! (link)
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a)It is an over-growth of yeast, which is everywhere naturally, and grows on your body normally, but your immune system keeps it in check.
b) A vaginal yeast infection itches and burns. You would know if you had one. There is a white discharge that has an odor that is actually a little like yeast in bread.
You can also get yeast infections on your skin in moist places like under your breasts. Babies sometimes get a yeast infection in their mouth, called thrush.
c) It occurs when conditons are right. Sometimes your immune system is stressed and yeast over-grows. Sometimes it occurs when you take antibiotics to kill a bacterial infection because the normal balance is altered and the yeast gains an advantage. Sometimes clothing can bring it on, for example wearing a bathing suit under your cloths. Nylon doesn't allow air circulation like cotton does. Yeast is killed by light and air, and grows more in moist warm places.
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I had a great friendship with a girl, but I made the mistake of asking her to open up to me about my past and feelings. My logic was since she's so afraid that my opinion of her would be lowered if I knew about her past, then she would come to some relief in knowing that my opinion of her would never be changed by something she did years ago. She told me, then days later she was furious about me knowing about her past. So my problem is this: I am in love with her, and she's very distant. I never asked her out because she's against dating, but now she is around another guy a lot who also loves her. I don't think she's attracted to me, so there's little hope to begin with (We told each other everyone we had a crush on. She was on my list, I wasn't on her's). This guy is open about his love, and is very touchy-feely towards everyone, especially with her. I'm afraid she'll start dating him, and never really speak to me again. I give her rides from school, and recently she just walked off with the other guy without saying a word. I caught up with them, and she said she was walking home, and had plans to go mushroom hunting. But she walked in the opposite direction of her house and it was starting to rain. I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into this,or if she really doesn't want to see me anymore. So should I tell her how I feel and ask her who she'd rather be with, or should I spare myself the pain and depression that would follow and ignore this or ignore her. If this, then how do I possibly get over her, I don't really have many people I can talk to and I'm so very in love. (link)
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OK, you said you don't think she is attracted to you. She walked away with another guy without saying a word. She said she was walking home (in the rain, in the opposite direction.) She tells you she doesn't believe in dating.
I don't think you are reading too much into it. I think the chances that she feels the same about you as you feel about her are very slim. I don't think her telling you about her past is a significant factor in this.
I wouldn't bring your feelings up, because it will probably make her more uncomfortable, and may be painful for you. I would try to continue the friendship, with out taking it further, because you can't force feelings that aren't there. Your only hope is that she might change, but I wouldn't live my life expecting it.
Definitely try to expand your circle of friends. Join groups and organizations that interest you. Even if you don't make the kind of friends that are close enough to talk to, you will at least be distracted, and improve you life.
From feedback: "I have to tell her. I never told a girl how I feel, and I don't think my feelings have ever been this strong, so I'm going to set myself up for failure. Wish me luck"
Good luck! You have decided to take a risk, and you know the possible consequences and are willing to accept them. That isn't a bad thing, but I hope you don't get hurt, even though you might.
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can you get pregnant from anal sex (link)
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It is very rare. The semen has to somehow get into the vagina for pregnancy to occur.
But anal sex is dangerous when it comes to getting AIDS. Be sure you use a condom.
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hi. im 13 years old and i weigh 185 pounds. pretty unhealthy,huh. don't mention how i look. in not fat, but i wiegh a lot. how can i eat healthy and excersise? what tips do you have for a girl like me that likes a boy like me?HELP!!!!! what exscersises should i do for my butt, abs, legs, arms, etc???
(link)
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You don't say how tall you are. Some people weigh a lot more than they look. (I do.) I think it is because muscle and bone is heavier than fat, so if you just happen to have a body structure that has more muscle and bone, even if you are not really physically in good shape, you won't look like 185lb. And someone with a lot of fat may look like 220lb who weighs 185lb.
I think the best thing you can do is get involved in a group sport or activity. It will help your self confidence and get you in better shape. If that doesn't work, just dance to music at home by yourself. That burns fat and builds muscle.
I don't know if you really need to diet because there isn't enough information here. Just eat healthy. Vegetables are your friends.
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Maybe this came out wrong in my last post,,, just an fyi, I dont stalk my friends and act like a mother. [For those of you just tuning in, hang on a sec] She DOES obsessivly do stupid things such as gossiping, and she does, in fact, get in trouble. She just doesnt care. What im worried about is her getting an office referral [permanent record] Yea I constantly remind her, I do carry her books in the halls and stuff, but I dont treat her like a kid. Its like, you scratch my back ill scratch yours. I only have her in 1 period to boot, This isnt much of a question, its jsut been bothering me., (link)
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I remember your question and my answer. Your question was "I'm wondering, what should I do? Am I really being -that- bossy about her getting in trouble?" and I said yes, from what you wrote it sounds like you need to give her space and back off a little. I stick by my answer.
This is a place to ask for advice. I told you my opinion, and other columnists told you theirs. It is up to you if you want to keep doing what you are doing or do something different. You really don't have to explain yourself.
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My husband and I live in Southern California and it's so expensive to live here. I don't want to move to another state because I would miss my family. We live in a small noisy city that is not so great but not terrible either. We would like to move to a better neighborhood. Our 2-bedroom is fine for us and our daughter who is almost 5 but we are thinking about having another child, and would like our kids to have separate rooms. Also, this street is very noisy. We went last night to look at a mobile home. It was nice and it even came with beautiful furniture. It wasn't as small as my husband thought it would be, but the bedrooms were kind of small. But after talking to the realtor, he found out that the rent on the space plus the loan payments would be too much for us. He is a mail carrier and I work part-time at a restauraunt. We were really dissapointed and depressed. I was kind of mad at him too, because he acted all enthusiastic to the realtor and then told me it was too much. I didn't hear what was said about the space fee, so I had no idea until we got back in the car to leave. Do you have any suggestions? Would a forclosure be better? My husband says we can't afford that either but I think he is just being negative. (link)
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I don't think you should be mad at your husband because he was enthusiastic to the realtor. You were present too.
Mobile homes are not that good of an investment. They often depreciate instead of increase in value, and you don't own the lot - that is rented and you have little control if they decide to raise it. Definitely start asking around at banks, realtors, and mortgage companies, and be persistent. We bought a house two years ago, and the only reason we were able is through government bond money, two daughters signing on the loan, and finding someone who was impatient to sell and paid the closing costs. It was difficult, but if you are determined, and keep asking, you can get something that is a good investment.
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If I have NEVER combined names on ANYTHING with my husband, can his credit report ever be reflected on my credit report? And if so, how is this legal? I do not live in a community property state, we have never purchased ANYTHING together and never will. Do not file income tax returns together. He now has creditors calling him from past obligations years before he met me that I knew nothing about - can they ever come after my assets I owned before ever marrying (house in particular, which is titled under my name before marrying two years prior)? What can I do to protect myself and my future should things go bad? Thank you in advance for your assistance. (link)
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I would think that your property is safe. I live in Florida and had a similar experience, and my house and all property and debts were completely separate. The best thing to do is ask a lawyer, especially since you are concerened about your property and "things going bad."
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I used to have really good friends, they were the best friends you could ever have! But one day at the beach there was this person we met, and she was really nice to us so we got to know her really well and became good friends with her. Suddenly I find that my so called good friends have replaced me with this girl now, I can't even squeeze between them to say something. They totally ignore me completely and won't even pay attention to me anymore. I decided that I didn't need them anymore and I should go make new friends, but that doesn't seem to work either. For some reason almost everyone I meet can't accept me for who I am, and I don't want to change for them. Any advice? Thank you! (link)
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People change and just become different with time. It is really difficult to keep good friends forever. Your friends may want to hang out with you again, but you will probably never have the same kind of relationship again.
Just be patient. Eventually you will find other friends that accept you. Keep doing things that you enjoy, and you will meet like minded people.
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I use a false certificate to get admitted into the college, now i've graduated , will it have any effect on me (link)
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Well, this is just speculation, but if you took several years worth of college courses and graduated with decent grades, I don't think anyone will investigate how you got in.
I wouldn't worry about it. It is very unlikely to have an effect now.
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Is using a condom totally necessary if you are giving a guy head? If you don't swallow the semen and rinse out your mouth afterward what are the risks? (link)
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Here is a website about oral sex and STD's. You can get STD's from oral sex, so condoms are recommended.
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My husband is a sweet guy but sometimes I think he has his priorities mixed up. He was going to bring his friend flowers for her B-day, which I was fine with, but he found out she is having a few stressful problems and now wants to give her a spa package, which is like $60-$80. We are not poor, but money is a little tight, we already went to an expensive dinner with her, isn't that enough?
I would never spend that much even on my family. What makes me mad is that he is so determined to do something nice for her, but he wouldn't go out and get his mother a card for Mothers Day. Or for Valentines Day I got flowers a week before just because, but on the actual day, I was home sick with the flu and I got nothing, and we never did anything later. I know his heart is in the right place, but I wish he would put the people that really love him up higher on his priority list. Am I being selfish, or jealous, or am I right to be upset? (link)
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You aren't selfish. You may have a right to be jealous, but from the way you wrote this, it sounds like that he just has his priorities mixed up. (I hope you handle most of the finances.)
It sounds like he is over-generous sometimes, and maybe impulsive with money. I have people in my family who are like that too. You are right to be upset, but he may just be like this, and may not change. Just try to explain to him that the people he gives a lot to should be very important to him. It communicates how much he cares. So he should give more to his mother (and you.)
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Hey Spacefem, I got a problem. Im in jr high, 7th grade, and one of my friends is really weird. Shes always gossiping and such, and at my school, teachers crack down HARD on stopping it. Im 100% against gossip, 1 because it hurts people, and 2 because its not minding your own business. Im always telling her to stop it, or shell get in big trouble, and she listens slightly, but 10 minutes later she is doing it again, and naturally, gets in trouble. the other day I reminded her of what would happen, and out of nowhere she bursts out "Just stop telling me what to do!" Which I find odd. Even though I constantly remind her to stop gossiping, she tells me to do way more things than I tell her. Im her note-passer, bookkeeper, saxophone-carrier, and a bunch of other random things. Im wondering, what should I do? Am I really being -that- bossy about her getting in trouble? (link)
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I think you are being too bossy. You care about her, but she doesn't appreciate it, so I think the best thing you can do is just let her do what she wants to do.
Since you say you are her "note-passer, bookkeeper, saxophone-carrier, and a bunch of other random things" I think you are way too worried about her and more involved in her life than you should be. Why doesn't she carry her own saxophone, keep her own books, and pass her own notes? It isn't healthy for either of you. You can be her friend but give her more space, and if she gets in trouble, she will learn from it.
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hi there i have a big black head problem i have a million black heads on my nose and a few around my eyes...whats the best way to get rid of them without them coming back???????? HELP!!!!
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My daughter is a cosmetologist. She says go see an esthetician (skin specialist.) Blackheads are pores that are clogged, and the surface is darkened by dirt.
You can steam your face by boiling water in a pot, and put your face over it. If you skin is sensitive, do this for five minutes, but if it is oily you can do it for up to 20 minutes. This softens the dirt and opens the pores.
Then use kleenexes over your fingertips, and squeeze the blackheads by pressing and lifting, not pinching. Use your fingertips instead of your nails, and push on a large area of skin, so you don't force the dirt back into your face.
Estheticians have magnifying glasses and special tools, a lot of training, and can be more effective. They have more techniques than this, but it is very difficult to do this for yourself.
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for anyone that goes to church on a regular basis is holiness the same as church of god in christ? I went to a church saying its religion is holiness. my mother doesnt go but my grandma is but she cant really explain it. someone please explain it to me. (link)
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Church of God in Christ is a denomination of Protestant churches. (There are many denominations with different ways of interpreting the Bible.)
The word "Holiness" used in this way is a description of thier interpretation of the Bible, and means something similar to Pentacostal. Here is a website that can give you an idea of what they meant. They are describing their church as a Holiness church. Holiness usually involves baptism in the Holy Spirit, speaking in toungues, miracles, etc. If you have more questions, the best source would be the the pastor of the church.
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