im writing this question to you im to let you know im a guy not a girl and yes i read your answer to my question called Where to Get Plastic Surgery and i dont think now its much of a problem becuase next year i wont be a teenager ill be 25 and im no child either this is not an attack question im just pointing this out to you anyway if youre still on here i hope you get this in your advice colum thank you .
Huh?...
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So like earlier you answered a question of mine about how the no contact method works. But the problem is like for three months i've been in contact with him trying o play it casual but i always end up bringing up arguments about our relationship an why we should start again. And he told me that hes trying to move on and forget about us but me texting evveryday makes it harder for him. He even told me at the end of our most recent fight that he has a lot of family friends and school problems currently sd that hes tired of wverything to the point that he has no feelings for me. So im wondering should i initiate the no contact period still? Or well what should i do?! Because i honestly want to get back with him.
Definitely in this case no contact rule should apply.
He's said he doesn't have any feelings for you in the current situation-you contacting him a lot.
So the only other logical method to deploy is the no contact rule. Give him space.
To be honest it sounds like its not you why the relationship ended, its his situation. Perhaps he doesn't want the commitment of the relationship given all these things are going on at the moment in his life?
I'm not saying be easy, I'm saying give him what he wants-space.
I know you want to get back with him but it honestly takes patience. I know it goes against your instincts but pestering him everyday will only make him go cold for you.
What do we know? We know what you're doing now is turning him off. So something along the line has to change. It could be contact, or it could be to offer him support with his school problems as a friend not anything more?
I feel for you, because it seems like you care about someone who at the moment has lost interest. But put yourself in his shoes. You see, how would you feel if someone just wouldn't get off your case despite you explaining in the best way possible you want them to go away? You'd dislike them even more.
Give him what he wants. Time is a great healer, and absence really does make the heart fonder. You can't dedicate yourself to getting back with this guy so much. Life's just too short. Ignore him for now, Have fun with friends and when he comes calling (and he will out of curiosity) you're in the driving seat as to whether you want to get back with him or not.
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Does the no contact method really work for an ex boyfrien?
Do you mean in order to get him back?
Well it worked for me in terms of him contacted me again. But it takes a lot of patience. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all of that.So because of this I'd advise you really wanted him back before using this method.
I'd say its a lot more effective than bombarding him with texts etc, as this will drive him further away.
Okay this is how powerful it is-my ex got with another girl after me, and a few months after made contact with me again and broke up with the girl, so yeh its pretty powerful.
Its also good because through having no contact, it gives you time to think over the relationship and whether it is worth saving or not.
Its reverse psychology, and used correctly its very powerful!
Good luck :)
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I can tell what I have seen and NO I don't drink or do drugs. I have been having this problem since I was 9 years old. I have seen plenty of shadows people around my house, some of them have red eyes & move quickly. They are not shadows of any of the people I am with nor are they shadows cast by me. Two nights ago I was staying over at a friends and I woke up because my phone had gone off (For no reason) It was about 3:40 or so and I looked over towards the door and I saw a figure standing. It was wearing an all white cloak with a hood. It stood with it's arms folded in front of it and it was fairly short & it was coming at me. One night I literaly saw a red demon on fire in front of my bed. It scared the shit outta me for days. I also hear my name being called out. And I heard a voice say, "You're going to hell." I freeze up in my sleep and hear weird noises, when that happens I can't talk. One night I saw a pale woman with stitched lips & eyes. She had curly long hair and she was in my living room. When I close my eyes I hear a mans voice, it sounds evil and its growling and screaming and this is NO lie. I hear this stuff all the time but no one believes me. I even woke up with scratches on my arm and face and I did not do it myself.
No matter what house I move to this stuff happens and it has gotten worse & I know there's nothing mentally wrong with me.
I tried talking to people about this but they don't believe me. Do you think I'm being haunted by something evil?
I think most people don't have time to think this deeply about people...
If its affecting your sleep, my advice would be to speak to a doctor and they can refer you to someone who can help you.
I think if I'm honest people have bigger things to worry about than if they're being haunted or not.
And no I don't believe in ghosts-because I don't have the time to question every potential ghost like movement that may occur.
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Okay so if you've answered any of my previous questions its a yes I decided to ask and actually talk to him but I'm wondering if I should ask him on his birthday?
Huh?
We can't see your username when you post a question on here-so you could be anybody especially as these kind of questions come up all the time on Advicenators!
In the add info part could you just link you previous question please just so we can help/know what you're talking about
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I need advice on a very important subject. When is the right time to have sex? All I hear is "I remember prom night" and all these stories from people's collage years. I'm confused about when it would be the right time. I don't want to make any rash judgements or mistakes which I will regret later on. Thanks for reading.
P.s. I'm fourteen and female and know now is not the right time for that relationship, though I would like to know when.
Okay so firstly you seem very mature for your age which is great :)
Its good that you want the time to be right. Many people myself included lost their virginity to someone who they which they hadn't.
I think as you start to get older and start to go out drinking and clubbing, its easy to have a one night stand with someone. My first piece of advice to you would be to control yourself on such nights out, so you don't end up doing something you may later regret.
If you know now is not the right time for a relationship, then obviously sex is off the cards, that is-if you want to do it with someone who loves you and cares about you.
There is no 'right time'. Sure the average age for people to lose their virginity is decreasing all the time. And this may make you feel under pressure to lose it. But you need to be confident in yourself. Have persistence and one day the right person will come along.
Legally, sex is not allowed in my country until you're 16. So you are legally under age. Second piece of advice would therefore be to wait until you are legal.
If you do want to have a sexual relationship with someone in the future, let them know from the off your expectations. Asking questions regarding commitment etc will help you to determine your partners intentions.
The right time to have sex in an ideal world is:
-when you're in a relationship where both partners trust and respect one another
-when you feel mature enough to deal with the fact that you are engaging in the act of potential baby making
-when you are confident in yourself, your body and your abilities (often people who have sex too early feel not good enough and have self esteem issues that worsen due to a bad first time)
-When you're legal (probably should've put this first)
-When you have good emotional support around you
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Over the last few years i've become increasing `cold-hearted`and i just simply don't care about things anymore for example:
starving children in 3rd world countries
just don't care one bit
This is starting to really irritate me because I'm keeping everyone at arms length, on top of that small things like my brother not eating at the dinner table causes me to get angry (chest hurts)
I just want to know if i'm stressed? psychotic? or just going through a phase?
Many thanks if you've read this
~ Night
When we see people suffering all the time on the news e.g in Syria, after a while we just become desensitized to it. We switch off, because its nothing new.
Okay, so you have physical symptoms because of this-so its probably time to speak to a doctor. I or my fellow advice givers are not doctors, but it could be stress. I had a spout of anxiety and yes you feel numb, as if there is a shield that's stopping you laughing, crying etc.
I am not qualified to make a medical diagnosis, but it sounds similar to depression, which is closely linked with anxiety.
It can just be a spout of it-depression is an illness that despite common belief is not the sufferers fault.
I would speak to a doctor, catching whatever you have early and getting help early will make it easier for you to control the issue, before it manifests itself into something uncontrollable.
Good luck :) Whilst you wait for an appointment, check out 'MoodJuice' online. Great self help resources for you to help yourself with your problem. Perhaps its best to, to not stress over the fact you're dead emotionally. By accepting the feeling and not letting it bug you, you are successfully controlling your emotions. This is something that counsellors will teach you to do.
Good luck :)
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It's a complicated story but basically I cheated on my boyfriend last night and I don't feel bad about it. I cheated on him with a guy I used to have sex with (person A) that I never got over. We never really established anything romantic, but he's a guy I always saw around campus and always lusted after. When I got the chance to sleep with him I did. To make matters worst, after having sex with person A and sort of drifting apart he eventually started dating a distant acquaintance of mine. His girlfriend and I became really close, but til this day she doesn't know I ever slept with person A, her boyfriend. Person A and I began having sex sometime after he got with his girlfriend (So basically I've been having sex with my friend's boyfriend.)
But to get back to the story, person A and my boyfriend are close to each other and knew each other for years. I met my boyfriend through person A. We promised we wouldn't tell my boyfriend of the past but we never agreed that we wouldn't have sex, but it was implied. However, last night after coming from a party, not so much under the influence we had sex. I do not feel bad about it and would like to do it again.
So basically I cheated on my boyfriend with his close friend that I'd been banging before meeting him, and the same guy is a close friend of mines boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Sn: When I have sex with my boyfriend I think about the other guy. And I've had sex with other guys and they don't seem to be a factor in this.
Female: 21
So about a month ago I would've just ignored your question, and would have honestly thought "Gosh, why can't she control herself?"
But a few weeks ago I had the experience of a one night stand, and now I totally understand what its like, how easy it is, blah blah blah so I've chosen to answer your question.
You're 21. You obviously have a high sex drive-and there is nothing wrong with this. But what is wrong really is that you do cheat on your boyfriend. You'd be 100% better off single, and free. You've tried having a boyfriend and staying committed to that one person. I didn't work. And its not fair therefore to remain with your boyfriend.
Its not fair on him-but its not fair on you either. You'd probably be happier as a free spirit, who can sleep with whoever she likes.
You may not want to end things with your boyfriend, but if you want to be happy with yourself then I think you should end it. You couldn't control yourself last night-so this could happen again.
You said you would do it again? Girl, you're not a committed girlfriend at all.
Split up with him, enjoy the sex life that you want to, and then your boyfriend and yourself will come out of this in the least hurt way possible.
I don't see how this relationship can survive if you carry on the way you are doing.
Good luck :)
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How do bulimics make themselves throw up? And what do they do to make it easier? Whats the risks of being bulimic? Im doing a project on bulimia so please say everything you mow :) thanks
I don't know a lot-I can only go on personal experience.
Bulimia is a way for sufferers to regain control over their lives in some way.
I had a spell of this, because bulimia is a side effect of an anti depressant.
How I made myself sick-often on an empty stomach-was by first sticking my tongue out and heaving. (This made my eyes water) And then, after about four attempts I would be sick.
The risks of being bulimic depend on genetics and your environment. Also on whether you have anxiety or depression or have any other mental illness that means you have lost control over your life.
My bulimic episode lasted no longer than two weeks, and it was the worst two weeks of my life. I'm 18 now and just thinking back to my experiences with this just over a year ago now has been hard tbh, but I hope I helped :)
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I'm 13 and ive never kissed(French) a guy and I really want to ...but I don't have a bf. What do I do?
Well its not seen as socially acceptable to kiss a randomer in the street.
Get a boyfriend. Someone who loves you and means the kiss-if you get me.
I think because in our culture (I live in the UK but its the same in America) sex is all around us. Added to which your age-hormones will be racing round your body-and you feel 'horny' quite a lot of the time.
Its really hard to tell a thirteen year old how to legally deal with this urge. I would say something boring and sensible (showing my age here) like focus on your studies-but you need to overcome this urge!
Have you tried practicing on your hand and things first? You see when you're old enough to go to clubs, people are usually there for only one thing-and you WILL be kissed there at some point.
The easiest and in fact the only legal way therefore is to get a boyfriend. There are plenty of other 13 year old guys out there that want a girl for one thing and one thing only-you could get with them. OR you could wait until you're a little older to have a proper relationship with someone who isn't just after your V card. Your choice, take care :)
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i was wondering when i asked my questions on here i mostly got three answers or less than three but do questions on this site sometimes get more than three
Rarely, most of the time the question get about two answers.
The amount of answers you get depends upon:
The quality of advice the previous advisor has given you-if someone sees what a fellow advice giver has written and feels they could add no more, they won't waste time-we are volunteers after all.
The controversialness of the question-often cases of idiots sleeping with dogs (eww, I know) get loads of answers, just ppl expressing anger.
The way the question was written-if its too complication, long and lacks poor grammar then fewer people will answer it, because they can't be bothered to get to understand it.
I think if you get three answers then consider yourself lucky-most people only get one or two. it used to be more, but hey I guess with there being more things to do on the internet, people these days are less likely to fill there time on sites like this.
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is m pregnant? my bf rub his penis on my... but he was in his underwear and me also
but i was wet and may b he also wet...
i am not getting my periods .. am i pregnant?i am worried
No I don't think you is pregnant either.
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How come I always get these terrible, splitting headaches after I cry? Can anyone tell me or explain what the reason might be to me? Please, I don't want to read ''we're not doctors or whatever'', if you know something, I'd really appreciate it ! Thanks!! :)
Hi,
Firstly the reason why advisors state that we are not doctors is because many people would only take our word for it, when there could be something serious the matter. After all nothing beats the advice of a professional-and we do all try to do our best for people like you...
Anyways, when you cry your breathing is irregular. Abit when you stand up to quickly, not enough haemoglobin in the blood is going to your brain, meaning not enough oxygen-this could be why you're getting headaches.
It could also just be a tension headache, caused by any kind of emotion, stress or extreme tiredness.
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So let's say a couple had a baby, and they looked like this:
Woman: Brown Hair, Brown Eyes
Man: Brown Hair, Blue Eyes
What color hair and eyes would the baby have? Just curious.
It also depends on what hair/eye colour the parents of the to-be parents have.
Brown eye colour is the stronger gene though..
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My poor kitty has the sniffles, what should I do?
It could just be a cold-like humans get, and will go within a few days. Don't panick if it starts to sneeze, its totally normal.
However, sometimes, kittens/cats can develop a cough, or get wheezy-and make a funny noise. You'll notice if this happens, and a vet should be seen just to make sure its not having any breathing difficulties or there's no underlying health problems, like a heart murmour-quite common in cats.
If the cold lasts for more than two weeks I would contact your vet. Similarly if the cold goes, but the kitten gets lots of colds in a row, speak to your vet.
In terms of minimizing any discomfort for your kitten, you could put his food dish on a raised platform, so it doesn't have to bow its head to eat to much. Make sure your kitten is comfortable, give it lots of cuddles. Make sure its drinking alot of water-some people give their cats chicken broth when they are ill-I guess this is subject to the individual kitten. If you're really concerned see your vet, and they can give some tablets that you can just crush up and mix in with its food.
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How do you franch kiss?
You can't get on to YouTube. Well it would have been very helpful if you had stated this in the 'additional information' section underneath your question.
http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/kissing/ht/frenchkissht.htm
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i hav done sex many time.im unmarried n nw my parenta want to made my merriage wd any other person. hw can i satisfy my husband.and my vijaena is becoming loose.plz help me
This question does not make sense.
http://translate.google.com/
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I wanna have sex
You've not asked for any advice!
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I have been trying to improve the condition of my hair; especially when it comes to washing it and it getting greasy.
Back when I was a teenager, I'd wash it every night but as we all know, it is so bad for your hair.
These days, I wash it every other day to every two-three days, depending on what I'm doing and so on. I never put conditioner all over my hair, just the ends and I use one hair product after showing, which doesn't go in my roots either. Come day two, my hair will already be getting noticeably greasy. Why is this happening? I heard that refraining from washing your hair so often, it will stay cleaner longer but it has been at least a year and a half now and if I want fresh looking hair, I'd have to wash it daily.
I know there's dry shampoo, but my hair *should* be able to stay grease-free for at least two days by now, right?
I should add that I don't really play around with my hair (as in twirling it around my fingers, constantly running my hands through it, etc) and although I usually blow dry it, if I let my hair air-dry, it will be the same the next day anyway - already greasy.
Is there anything I'm doing wrong? Are there any ways to fix this issue?
Hi,
My hair is like yours.
My hairdresser told me not to put to much product in at all, because I have the type of hair that will make it greasy very quickly.Don't use conditioner all the time. Your hair is full of moisture anyway so once a week at most should be suitable.
Don't brush your hair too much.
D'you know what, I'm just coping a webpage here. See for yourself, if the problem persists speak to your hairdresser.
http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Hair-From-Getting-Greasy
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Hi, my name is jhon and im 21 years old, I live in CT and i've been planning to end my life, its a long story, i wish it didnt have to be this way. I came to the u.s in 2007 i was 16, i got in high school unfortunately i met some "friends" that used to smoke weed and skip school all day, decision i regret now, I didnt care about anything I did'nt even know how life really was. I dropped out school and started looking for jobs, then i met a girl that soon would become my girlfriend, long story short, i was irresponsible and immature and i ended up quitting or losing a few jobs that was back in 2010/2011 but ive been struggilng since i got here, now 2013 i had a really good job traveling it seemed promising i was happy because since this job seemed stable my now ex girlfriend and I planned on moving in together soon and i was giving my 100%, I used to install light pannels, led's etc. at that time my girlfriend and I was dating for almost 3 years, we broke up less than a month ago, when i lost my job.. since there wasnt high demand they could not have me in the company when there was no projects, i have debts too and no savings, anyway i told my girlfriend this and she broke up with me saying she was tired of my unstability, and that it was never going to change, ive been living with my mother and her boyfriend althought me and her boyfriend never liked each other and now it got to a point where he hates me and blames me for the problems he had with my mother, and she migh hate me too.
Now he kicked me off the house, even though i dont have a job, and i been looking for jobs but have had no luck yet, long story short everything came down hill for me all at the same time and my mother has no money to help me, i dont think my dad does either, and i dont have friends, at least here in the u.s. so basically I will end up living in the streets when this month is over, i will have no chances of finding a job then. I tried to enlist in the army too but i didnt have that much time to wait until the whole process was done, i only had a month worth of rent, right now i dont see to get out of this, i'd probably die from starvation or heavy winter who knows,but i dont wanna wait until that, ill just accelerate the process, i dont want to be a homeless either with no job living out what people decides to give you. I know all this is my fault. I just didnt want to end it like this, i wanted to do so much for my mother since i havent been a good son to her and i wanted to show my ex girlfriend hat i really wanted to succeed. My question is what should I do? I dont have any resource left and i think this is really the end for me.
Thank you all for your time and excuse the long paragraph and bad grammar.
P.S i suffer from depresion and this is not the first time ive had suicidal thoughts, ive had this more than 4 years ago. And now i might be decided, it whats is left to do anyway. I just wish i could go to the army id love to serve the country if i could.
Hello.
The fact that you have sought help on here is a very positive thing.
It is also a very brave thing to do, especially as people who have suicidal thoughts are often viewed negativley. But it tells me something else. There is at least 1% of motivation within you that actually would prefer to live. To get better. You didn't have to ask your question-take the time to tell your story. But you did. You were brave. Now its time to be brave a little longer, to ultimately get better.
Firstly, please contact your nearest hospital for help. I am unfamiliar with US Help numbers, I live in the UK you see.
Secondly, recite this every hour to yourself-say it out loud: Nothing lasts forever.
Its true-and having the motivation to pull through means help IS available RIGHT NOW for you.
Now then, my background is anxiety. Last year my anxiety peaked. I didn't sleep for two weeks running. I like you do now, thought it was the end.
But then I saw my doctor. He referred me immediatley to a counsellor and, what can I say-I'm still here today.
You need to go one a course of CBT. It challenges your negative thoughts. So, you may be thinking:
I've let my ex girlfriend down, and now I'll never move on and will be alone forever.
This thought is not a rational one-because you are pre-supposing the future.
Or:
I have no chances of finding a job.
You don't know that. You have jumped to conclusions, all -be it rational in your mind, irrational to most other people.
CBT will help you challenge these thoughts. This is important if you are to turn these unhelpful thoughts into helpful ones, and get a job.
Indeed, as a counsellor told me,you need to acknowledge the thoughts are there, but don't accept them.
To rephrase, you need to be like "Okay, I know I feel crap and my thought is that I have no chance of finding a job, but that is just a thought and doesn't have to play or connect in any way with my emotions" Acknowledge thoughts are there, but let them pass, like a train.
With depression, its hard to help yourself and what you really need now is a doctor or other trained profesional. You need to find coping methods that work for you-for me its my volunteering that I do.
You can look on moodjuice-type it into google, for self help guides, but they only tell you so much.
I'd see a doctor, and sooner rather than later. They'll be more than willing to help you, because you've shown them enough evidence of you wanting to change, and be much less depressed.
So if you remember one thing after reading my advice remember this:
Nothing lasts forever, and you will get through this.
~Take Care~
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