|
| |
|
What should I do to try to get him less controlive and jealous? (link)
| |
u cant its a personality trait and gets worse over time.
|
|
theres this girl in my biology class. her birthday is coming up. she is serious with art, and has a sort of eating disorder.she is moving soon after her birthday, so its kind of like a farewell party too. what should i give a girl that is turning sixteen and is moving away? (link)
| |
"The Secret"movie/doc book or dvd or a nice looking diary,
|
|
I'm a 24year old male and my girlfriend is 21. We're from South Africa. She beautifull, smart, cute, sexual and she really turns me on! We've been dating for 2years and I still get shy when I see her. She can give me a erection just by giving me a hug...wich can be very embarrasingfor me but she loves it.I've never cared and loved someone as much as I do for her. Now my problem only happens now and then, but its still a pain because it feels like I'm letting her down. And I know it bothers her. Sometimes when we busy I can't get myself to orgasm. I struggle to concentrate. And then I start to get axious and start thinking about what she's thinking...if she's enjoying it ex. And then before I know it I'm going limp. And then I try so hard to get it up again but no luck. Then my girl asks me what's wrong... And I can't explain to her because I don't know myself. She says its all in my head...that I'm thinkin to much. And I think she might have a point. I did find that if I have a beer or two it doesn't happen. What do you guys think? (link)
| |
relax dnt take it seriously bet she dosent.have fun .dnt wry about that.
|
18 f.
sso i masturbate... and i wanna orgasm like girls in porn where it squirts like everywhere... also, when i do masturbate.. i get close to orgasm or do orgasm and then im done. my body gives up. not just being tired, but my mind is totally somewhere else and i my body doesnt care to continue. why is this?
thanks (link)
| |
relax and take your tim.dnt believe what you see on porn cause these ppl are paid they do a lot of f;!@€$¥ to ge t where they are and its not pretty.its an ugly business and makes ugly ppl not what it seems.squirting?i only just heard about it..its prety rare like a freak defect..think your born with it .
|
|
I am a seventeen year old female. I am still a virgin. I want to have sex but have not had the opportunity to do so, unfortunately. I don't masturbate very often, because when I do it doesn't feel as good as I want it to. I want to know why this is. I can only do it for a certain amount of time before i just get impatient with the fact that I want it to be better. Unfortunately I don't have a dildo, so i can only use my hand.. which doesn't seem to work well enough. What should i do? (link)
| |
try not looking at masterbating as "feeling good"and "getting something from it"cause youl neva get there.relax and think of it as exploration...if something happends it happends if it dosent dont worry it will sometime.
|
13/f
I have 2 cousins that are 11. Their names are Anthony and Jacob. We don't really get along, so lately I've been trying to leave them alone at family events. They still end up bothering me. It's worse when my friends are over. At Christmas dinner last year, Anthony made an extremely rude and racist comment to my best friend (she's black). A few hours ago, I was over at Jacob's house for his little sister's birthday thing. I was wearing a shirt that said "I belong" on the front and Anthony said what? to the devil? when he saw it. If it were any other person, I would assume it's just a joke, but he really doesn't like me no matter how I try to be the better person and be nice. I don't want to get him in trouble because my uncle lectures him forever when he does, but it's been really hard for me to sit there and have him insult me to my face. Those were only examples of what he says to me. There's a lot more that I won't get into. I'm just wondering what ya'll think would be the best thing to do about him. I don't want to end losing my temper on him and end up hurting him. (link)
| |
hes a young boy boys are a lot more immature than girls your 2yrs older than him 2.hel grow out of it eventually
|
Ok, I already got all his other presents, and I'm trying to figure out some stock stuffers! He's 18; and he doesn't like any type of candy.
I already got him a shaving kit, and a cologne kit, so I can't stick those in there, becauase they are already wrapped up.
I'm just in a tough spot. I am clueless.
I got him a toothbrush, 3 lottery tickets, and some gloves since he works outside, but I need a few more ideas.
ANYTHING WOULD BE HELPFULL!
Thanks! (link)
| |
a key ring,homemade gift vouchers ;"one free massage"movie tickets,socks,photoframe,a book about something he likes or a magazine
|
This is going to be a long story, and I can't believe how I got to this point, but I feel like I have a huge metal problem on my hands.
I started dating my boyfriend last year. He was my first for everything of course, i lost my virginity to him, I opened up to him, told him I loved him. We're still dating to this day;
I remember myself last year, I was happy, random, confident, funny, always making people smile, I was the one giving everyone advice, inspiring everyone. I'm sure he was attracted to my personality,because I felt comfortable with myself.
I'm looking at myself and am finding that I've become completely lost, and on this website asking for some kind of help.
When we first met, I thought he was so handsome, and he was very artistic. Though I've always been confident on the surface, I was paranoid to be myself because I've always been shy with guys i'm into, and hated having my guard down. I liked to keep things light and fun, but every odd and crazy thing I said he didn't really respond to. This only made me try harder, and he did say some things and over time I felt successful in having conversation with him.
***
This is very important : He said I reminded him of his ex (who was one of my good friends) But they technically didn't date. they dated for about 2 weeks and she wasn't into him, probably for the same reason as I stated above (he wasn't very..random..interesting..or whatever) **
When we met, he had 2 months until he went off to college to go to art school across the states. In those 2 months we had sex and were very close. Then, we broke up when he moved away.
Throughout the whole time he was across the country, he'd call me every night and we'd continue talking, opening up to each other (so technically,we considered it still dating. more like,on and off) and just becoming really good friends. Of course I wasn't over him,and when he was away I was in a state of deep depression.
He came back winter break, and we were more-so "friends with benefits". This ruined me more, but I would've rather been that than nothing (and I was also friends with his friends- so being together was kind of natural)
Then this time, he left without saying goodbye. I was heartbroken,but I still stayed strong, because I know this wasn't part of my mentality to break down- especially in front of my friends, though I know they could tell I was very much upset.
I finally regained my dignity and cut ties (unanswered phone calls, if there were even any at all).. until he came back this summer and we just "naturally" again, connected.
I told him off the bat that I didn't want to do the whole "benefit" thing again, and he said he wanted to "get to know" me more before we got into a relationship. I agreed, but needless to say that next week we were official again (A lot of my friends didn't approve).
(I'm trying to cut this as short as I can, I really hope you can stick through this!)
Then..some wave came over me. Slowly, I lost contact with all my friends. I became paranoid that I wasn't as good as his ex (my friend-- mind you I hadn't talked to her in awhile). And then his other ex (who is very also friends with his ex. Basically, the two ex's were best friends. They both broke up with him for the same reason)
So what I did was..become friends with his ex's this whole summer. Because I thought- if I hung around them, I'd be like them,and thus he'd like me more. But also- we did become really, really good friends because we were so alike! The catch, is - my boyfriend didn't know I was hanging out with them (he hated one of the girls). He doesn't know I was ever friends with them this whole summer. We went on crazy adventures, had amazing times.
He told me he loved me in the midst of the summer, and I fell more deeply for him and said I loved him as well(of course). Then, I started getting those feelings of ill confidence again. I felt like the ex he compared me to would always be better than me, and that's where I am now. I beat myself up about it from time to time, and I feel like I'm lesser of a person. This is clearly a confidence issue, and I'm afraid he's going just get bored of me because I'm not good enough.
I wish I could give every detail, because I feel like I'm in such a hole of psychotic behavior that I can't get out. I realize what I've done hasn't been normal or right or moral in anyway, and yet- I don't know how fix the way I feel anymore. I feel disconnected with reality, and different from who I used to be. I want to be back to who I was, and I feel like I'm close but something's stifling me. I love my boyfriend very much,and he's never done anything like what I've done (from what I've known). And he lights me up in ways no one else can. He knows more about me now than anyone in my life. Which is valuable, but makes me feel vulnerable. We still get along, but I don't know how to conquer this feeling.
I've cut contact with those two friends, and am trying to get myself back. But I need another perspective, if you have any advice I'd really appreciate it. I hope this wasn't too much torture to read :o thank you! so much (link)
| |
snds like you know what to do (ur not friends with these girls anymore so you cant mimic them)slowly start being the real you again to get yourself out of the hole do some things and say what you feel is honestly YOU. a wee bit at a time.he probably does like you for you anyway cause nobodys that good an actor at being someone else.do it for yourself.
|
|
Im 15 years old. I recently switched school because of bullying and things are a lot better at my new school so far I've only been going for about 3 weeks but it seems I don't have a lot of energy. When I wake up its really hard for me to make myself get up and get ready. I haven't really made any friends yet. It also seems I sleep a lot! Sometimes I come home and sleep for 2-4 hours then wake up and then go to bed at like 1 or 2 in the morning. In the morning Im so tired still I often fall asleep in class. It kinda seems like I have no motivation or something to look forward to. Why am I so tired? I'm not sure if I really like my new school yet because I haven't been going very long but somedays when I wake up in the morning I try to make excuses in my head. I think about if I should pretend to be sick or something just so I can sleep more and stuff. Is there something wrong? Please help. (link)
| |
it sounds like depression and the bae experiences from your last school might have something to do with it.id talk to your doctor about it before it gets worse.bullying can scar it really sucks.
|
Hello!
This is going to be difficult to express in text but I have been in a relationship for the first time in 4 years. I am very excited and I think I am ready but have felt really unsure of things the past two weeks. My relationship began unfortunately as a hook up. After about two months of a nearly only physical relationship I told the girl I had developed feelings for her and requested we started a committed relationship. After a week of grappling with the concept she obliged.
We have now been in an exclusive relationship for around 2 months. One of my biggest issues is I feel like I am the only one who initiates conversation, intimacy, etc. I was originally alright with this because I thought it was expected for the man in the relationship to to action most of the time? When I say take action we live near each other and she has never just popped in to say hello or requested we "do" anything (dating, talking, etc).
I think the three biggest struggles for me have been trust, intimacy, and interest. One night I told her about a health problem I have. I am a semi professional athlete and it was something I was nervous about. About a week later I was drinking with her at her sisters birthday and dropped the I am falling in love with you comment into conversation. It was not something I was planning on doing/saying but it came out. After I said this she darted off to the bathroom with her sister and the next day told me how troubled she was that I was moving to fast and on a different level. She said she usually dumps people who do this "sort" of thing?
Another thing that troubled me is often when opportunities for intimate encounters arise she claims to be tired. I have brought this up and it troubled me. I would say in 7 days we might be intimate 2 times a week. 50% of the time she claims to be tired and doesn't sleep well with other people around so I have to leave. I am a man, I try not to be selfish and want an emotional connection with this girl but sort of believe physical intimacy is important. She never seems to want me from what I can tell from her body language, etc. It's odd because I feel like sexually she is comfortable since our relationship started as a "hook up".
I guess where this ends is I am at a loss for solutions. I went out on a wim and tried to suprise her at work today and gave her a necklace since its close to christmas. I put her necklace on her and asked her to close her eyes and told her why she is beautiful to me and how happy she makes me. Later tonight I saw her again shortly and nothing was mentioned of the previous encounter, not even so much as a "thanks". I really was nervous about giving her the necklace and wanted to be spontaneous and special. To be honest I am a little devastated.
Maybe I am trying to hard, I really weighed my options. I love her personality, charm, how outgoing she is, and just her pure eloquent beauty. But her lack of emotional commitment to me from what I can tell just seems to not be there. Is this something that will come with time or should I end the relationship? I will indeed try to communicate this with her, but am not sure how to approach it since I feel like commitment already scares her.... (link)
| |
i think u should back off a bit.start thinking about other things(if u really want her)and let her come to you.but if shes not that important as in you dont love her move on cause shes not the right girl for you if she cant handle your attention.
|
I am 19/f and my bf is 17. I graduated high school this past year and had no choice but to move (another long story) and so we are in a long-distance relationship. We are both very faithful and much in love but I have been Having this problem lately... He has a crappy phone so I can't talk to him ear to ear on the phone, all we can do is text. Well when he finally texts me we don't talk much. I try extremely hard to carry conversations with him but the majority of his responses are yea, idk, what, why?, lol, or smiley face. It's like he doesn't know what to talk to me about and I have brought up the subject and we will have a understanding and he will change for maybe a day or two but then just goes back to texting me one worded messages. I just don't know what I can do or say to keep him talking and making sure our relationship isn't going dull???
Thank you, One Word Annoyance
P.S. Would like to not only have advice from girls, but also if any guys can answer please do! (link)
| |
u need to speak to him on the phone clear the air a bit.
|
|
Ummm hi its me again, my boyfriend broke up with me and he says that my family problems and my personality adds on to his anxiety! I said what the hell does that mean?! He said that a month and a half into our relationship he was thinking about breaking up with me. He told his beeeesssttttt friend and my ex beessssstttt friend that he wanted nothing to do with me and i hate her and when he says things to her like that, it gives her the advantage to call me a "slut" and that im worthless! She is hitting on my exes and she says that she is devoted to her boyfriend Nick and she calls me a whore! I don't know what to do! Please I need help!!! Thnx for everything you guys are trying to do! Love you guys!!! :'( (link)
| |
nasty.what are you friends with ppl like that for?have some self respect and ditch them
|
|
1m 19 years old and ever since i was young my mums drank.When i was younger i thought it was normal i was never alowed to sleep over at friends or stay out to late because i had to allways look after my younger sister, i dressed myself and took myself to school since i was 7,and ive basicly looked after myself since i can remember,then i grew up and relised my mums not the same as evryone esles. she calls me horrible names and make me feel worthless, ive been at college for 3 years doing hairdressing i stayd on at school i done evrything right but she just dosent seem to ever be happy with me.i had a job and she forced me to leave because she said i could do better, iwasnt earing much money but she said if i didnt claim for job seekers allowence she would kik meout of the house.At the moment things are worse than ever, her habbits are worse and now that my older brother has moved back home shees took sides with him and acts asif im not ther,they drink together evryday & other things, i feel like even though im related im not from the same family ther from ,she hardly works and demands money of both of us and im only claiming job seekers allowence and struggle to live its so hard to get a job now ,i have a boyfriend who has seen alot the way my mum and brother treat me and he bareley sees me now because he dosnt like comeing down to my house he cart bare the way they act, its comeing between mine and my boyfriend and i crt cope anymore ive allways been scared to be on my own since i was small because of things that have happend when i was a child , i want to get a flat of my own then i can be out of ther ways and let them get on with life but im scared to live alone , my biyfriends got the perfect family and has evrything he wants he just dosent understand my situation because hees not used ot what im used to and i feel im allways running to him with my problems , im sorry this question was sooo liong but ive been searching for someone to relate to me or help me if anyone has advice it would realy help. thankyou .xx (link)
| |
your mums an alcoholic shes a sick woman and with that comes HEAPS of character defects.when you leave maybe shel have to take responsibility for herselfand thats a good thing for her.can you live with your bf?
|
|
My parents raised me to be an utter failure. Besides mentally absuing me, they destroyed my self esteem and my life and never gave me any chores, responsiblities or motivation to succeed. they never gave me any chance to excel, any opportunity to feel tha i had some self worth. they left me angry, helples and hopeless. Now I'm 33, and I have failed at everything I have ever tried, every job I have ever held. I was fired from practically every job I have help for incompetence or simply coming in late. I don't want to do anything and feel no motivation; I would rather end up a ward of the state or in a mental hospital...at least i could get fed and taken care of and not have to struggle just to earn some bread to eat. I hate life and never asked for it. I never wanted any of this, my parents brought me here against my will, fucked me up against my will, now after 30 years of hardwired helplessness I am supposed to thrive? I have no motivation to do anything...to work, to live. I just want to die, and if not, be taken care of, just sit in the grass and stare at the sky until I die, and just have peace the rest of my days. If you call me a spoiled brat, go fuck yourself. Taht's what I am, that's what I am wired to be...a loser. I tried job and failed them. I went to the army and had a nervous breakdown. I went to school for a medical degree and turn out to be a failure...i am too scared to make any decisions for my patients and instead I run and find a competent adult to make the hard choices because, well, I am a baby. I'm still living in my folks house, as I have no income at 33. No one wants to hire a new grad like me. And honestly, I don't want to work, fuck it, my parents thought it was so important to give birth to me and spend my whole childhood fucking me up, let them pay for my food. It's called consequences. I just want the end to come and I want to have nothing left to fail at. (link)
| |
have you seen the movie "The Secret"?it might help.
|
|
i'm in the 11th grade, when I'm at school I don't feel like I'm good enough, I feel like everyone is staring and talking about me in a bad way. I keep to myself to avoid being judged and to avoid my business getting around, I'm extremely quiet, I'm constantly getting asked "why don't you ever talk?" I'm only like this at school, there's 40 people in all my classes if I'm talking to one person I don't like the other 39 being able to hear what I'm saying.extremely self cautious about the way I look, even though people tell me that I'm really pretty, I feel like all the people around me are prettier which makes me feel ugly I'm self cautious about my smile I've always had problems with my teeth, my mom had it fixed but I still feel like my teeth are ugly because I lived with that problem so long so I avoid smiling also. People are always asking "are you okay?" when I'm at school is when I think about all my insecurities and no matter how hard I try to be social and happy it just doesn't work for me. Some girl in my grade asked if I was okay when I responded with yeah her response was oh because you look like one of those people who will just snap oneday and shoot up the whole school. I really took this offensively but instead of being rude to her I nicely said "i would never do that!" her response was "you never know it's always the quiet ones." why does it bother people so much that I'm quiet? When people talk to me I talk back, but nobody tries to talk to me they just ask why I'm quiet without putting in any effort to talk to me. Why can't people just except me for how I am? Why does it bother people that 1 person is quiet out of the thousands that go to my school. (link)
| |
sounds like you have Social Anxiety Disorder i have it highschool was torture.i didnt know what was wrong but you can get help by going to a doc and see if you can get treatment like CBT.or you cld take a minimum of antidepressant to hetp with anxiety.if ppl say that sort of thing its cause they dont understand.
|
|
Ok, so I hear there's a law that energy cannot be created or destroyed. Does that mean energy was present before the beginning of the universe? Would energy be a logical god? It would rule out time and the question "What created god?" I'm a non-religious thiest. (link)
| |
have you seen "the secret"?that might help.wasnt it the universe a small ball of energy that exploded..
|
I'm on the girl's Division I basketball team at a very highly esteemed school, athletically and academically. The girls on the team are really close and we're kind of close with some on the guy's team too (I'm trying harder to make more guy friends).
In the past year, there has been some drama/cattiness among the girls. There's one girl (Kerri) whom I'm sort of friends with, she's really close with a girl I used to be close with but turned out not being very nice either. Kerri is usually nice to me, but has never really shown much of an interest in being close with me, so we're kind of only aquaintences. We're together pretty much all the time. The reality is, I absolutely can't stand her. She's really one of the most irritating people I've ever met. I could write a book on the problems I have with her but in short, she's a busybody, she has a HUGE superiority complex when trust me, she is in no place to have one, she acts like she's friends with people she's not friends with and fawns over them like there's no tomorrow, she's a social climber, premeditates who she's going to try and be friends with, she's very competitive...I think you get the idea.
She and I are both very academically inclined and serious about our playing. I have to admit, I've been a bit more successful than her in basketball because I'm taller and some aspects of my technique are stronger. She may be a bit stronger than me academically. Ugh, see, I'm doing it right now. I CANNOT HELP but feel in competition with her all the time. I feel competitive not only about those things, but even more so, about making friends. It gives me anxiety when she makes new friends, especially on the guys team, when people give her attention, I HATE it. The fact that she completely fawns over certain people to become friends with them drives me nuts and right now a couple of people love her and give her tons of attention they don't give me and I hate it. but I have NO reason to feel this way because people like me too! There are people who give me more attention than her or equal amounts. But there's this inner drive in me that is desperate for her to be jealous of me and wish she was me. It's foolish, and petty, and not nice but I cannot make these desires go away.
Perhaps the fact that she has such a superiority complex over me bothers me so much because she is in no place to think of herself as better than me. Maybe it bothers me that, she picks who she's going to try and be friends with and she's never shown much of an interest in trying to be friends with me because she thinks I'm stupid, or irresponsible, or just not cool enough (I know she doesn't hold me in the high, "special" regard she does other people), or maybe that she's so close with my ex-close friend, who's very similar to her. I always feel like I have to prove myself to her and I don't know why. We're in a lot of classes together and every time I'm around her, whether it be in class, in practice, at a game, etc. she annoys the HELL out of me. The way she acts doesn't just annoy me, it deeply bothers me and causes me stress and anxiety. She puts me in a bad mood and makes me feel like shit just by being herself. Another thing is that I feel like I can't ever be close with people she's close with because I don't like her and maybe it's my imagination but there's kind of a schism.
The way I'm thinking is absolutely immature and terrible but I cannot help it. I don't need help with confronting my own faults in the situation because I know what they are. I need help with getting rid of them. I want to be able to brush her off and not care about what she thinks of me and the things she says and does and her immense annoyingness. HOW do I do this??? I'm trying but it's not working. I need a new way to look at the situation. And trying to be close with her is 1) not even possible (I know her and KNOW she wouldn't want to be, partly because of our general friends situation, and 2) would bottle up my negative feelings and make it worse. I vent to her to my other friend who doesn't like her either but this doesn't make me feel better. I want to not care so much about her but I don't know what to do. It's taking a toll on me emotionally and giving me anxiety. I can't deal with this for the next 3 years. PLEASE help :'( (link)
| |
is there things in her you see in yourself and thats why your focusing on her..?maybe she very insecure that why she try so hard.iet her do her thing dnt wory youself!
|
|
Hi, I am a 43 year old Police Officer who lives in New zealand. In the last year my father has passed, my mother has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness and my wife of 25 years has left me. The first two i think I have coped with but my wife leaving has left me ruined. Three months ago I overdosed and was found unconsciouss in a phone booth. I ahve two children which I love to pieces and I would hate to hurt them. But this has not stopped me constantly thinking of ending my life to stop the pain I feel at losing my wife, my childhood sweatrheat. She is 40 and recently has an affair with my sons 22 year old tennis coach. I came accross them one night having sex and this memory of the guy naked on top of my wife haunts me every day. I am seeing a physchologist and spent 5 hours with him last week. This has been going on for close to 1 year now and the pain has not lessoned at all. I really dont want to die because i know how selfish that is and how much pain that would cause. It does not stop the constant thoughts tho. i feel completely broken and even the time I spend with my kids i keep thinking about my wife and the what if's. What if I had of treated her better, what if I had told her i loved her more often, etc etc. I am not a dumb person but I have been in so much pain for so long and just want it to end. My confidence is gone now and I know my company is not that great. I am a kind and good person at heart but I am just so sad.I look forward to any suggestions of help. Thanks (link)
| |
hi im really sad too .im at point where its really hard.i cant say much cause ive got my own thoughts too.i liked ur post so thankyou its nice to hear theres others out ther too.
|
|
how do i keep my husband focused on things that we NEED to talk about to resolve the continuous and serious marital issues? he cannot face truth or facts. he always finds a way to divert the subjects either by acting out, anger or changing the subject. if i say something he doesnt want to hear, he 'acts out'. (link)
| |
i totaly know what your talking about my mans the same it like0a merry go round "its your fault you..."all i can say is try be calm use "i" statements let him know how serious youare with out confrontin...
|
|
so I am a 20/f who is currently seeing a therapist for my problems. Well she knows i have a lot of anxiety, which i inherited from my mother. Well for the past few years I've been having some scary thoughts. Like for example I've had so many thoughts of my mom and dad getting hurt like in a car accident or someone trying to kill them, and i have no idea why. Also when my brother comes home i worry when he goes out that he'll never return and i always wait for him. There was another time when i was volunteering and i saw this adorable little girl who had down syndrome, and she was wearing this necklace and i kept imagining that someone will choke her. I didn't realize how serious this stuff was till today when i read that these are called intrusive thoughts on the internet. I have ADHD, and i heard these thoughts could be associated with that maybe? I see a psychiatrist for my ADHD and other issues, and then a psychologist as well. She doesn't know, because i am not sure how to tell her, since whenever i've told her anything she tells me i am fine and not to worry, or she'll think i am just making this up for attention. So what should i do? (link)
| |
talk to your psychologist thats what hes for and everyone has some disturbing thoughts .its how you react.ask him about "mindfulness"or doing CBT
|
|
