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humorist-workshop
my mum's drinking and the way she treats me
1m 19 years old and ever since i was young my mums drank.When i was younger i thought it was normal i was never alowed to sleep over at friends or stay out to late because i had to allways look after my younger sister, i dressed myself and took myself to school since i was 7,and ive basicly looked after myself since i can remember,then i grew up and relised my mums not the same as evryone esles. she calls me horrible names and make me feel worthless, ive been at college for 3 years doing hairdressing i stayd on at school i done evrything right but she just dosent seem to ever be happy with me.i had a job and she forced me to leave because she said i could do better, iwasnt earing much money but she said if i didnt claim for job seekers allowence she would kik meout of the house.At the moment things are worse than ever, her habbits are worse and now that my older brother has moved back home shees took sides with him and acts asif im not ther,they drink together evryday & other things, i feel like even though im related im not from the same family ther from ,she hardly works and demands money of both of us and im only claiming job seekers allowence and struggle to live its so hard to get a job now ,i have a boyfriend who has seen alot the way my mum and brother treat me and he bareley sees me now because he dosnt like comeing down to my house he cart bare the way they act, its comeing between mine and my boyfriend and i crt cope anymore ive allways been scared to be on my own since i was small because of things that have happend when i was a child , i want to get a flat of my own then i can be out of ther ways and let them get on with life but im scared to live alone , my biyfriends got the perfect family and has evrything he wants he just dosent understand my situation because hees not used ot what im used to and i feel im allways running to him with my problems , im sorry this question was sooo liong but ive been searching for someone to relate to me or help me if anyone has advice it would realy help. thankyou .xx
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
your mums an alcoholic shes a sick woman and with that comes HEAPS of character defects.when you leave maybe shel have to take responsibility for herselfand thats a good thing for her.can you live with your bf?
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I know it maybe hard to see because of what you're going through right now but look how far you've come? Whenever you needed to get something done you've done it such as getting yourself to school and taking care of your younger sister. I think its safe to say that your mother is an alcoholic. Alcoholics can't cope so they depend on alcoholic to numb that pain they are going through. Your mom maye have had a hard childhood or an experience that caused her to drink or to 'numb the pain away'. You have to know this has nothing to do with you this is her problem that she needs to fix. You also have to understand that she is sick, consider this as a disease. There is something you can do for yourself which is you can go to Al Anon. Al Anon is a group that meets together in communities to talk about what they are experiencing with someone they know that is drinking. Here is the website for the group and you can look at the website and maybe see if there are any meetings in your area:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Another thing you can do is to save up money or maybe move in with a friend. Do you have other family around that may be able to help you?
I also felt the need to comment on the comment you made about your boyfriend's 'perfect family'. There is no such thing as perfect! There might be thigns going on that you don't know about I'm sure it's not all that it seems.
Maybe instead of running to your boyfriend with problems do you have anyone else to talk to? Maybe a guidance counselor or maybe a therapist? I'm sure your boyfriend is supportine and will continue to be because he knows what's going on. Good luck and keep your head up!
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You are an adult, You are now capable of making your own choices.
I encourage you to stay in school, It is a very smart and wise choice. If you have siblings living with your mother that are under the age of 18 then you could report your mother as they way she is acting is not proper parenting. If possible I would try to save money and move out, If your boyfriend has a job then you two could come up with a plan to make living arrangements if you two are serious about it and go halves on expenses. Everyone is scared to live on their own that is a normal feeling but in time we learn how to be independent and before you know it you get used to it. If you feel you are running to him with your problems then I would recommend you see a therapist, Venting on your boyfriend will eventually drain and overwhelm him as nobody really wants to be constantly vented on.
As for your mother she likely needs some sort of help whether that'd be a therapist of her own and a rehab facility. When she asked for money, Don't give it too her. However if I were you, I'd try to figure out some sort of other living arrangement. Maybe you could talk to your boyfriend and see if his parents let you rent out a room in their home? Offer to pay them monthly rent, Help around the house etc. If they do decide to let you live there remember the golden key is to respect their house rules.
If that isn't possible then I would look in the paper for ads. Sometimes you can find people who need room mates and sometimes there are people that are willing to rent out a room in their home.
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