23/f
I'm not really sure how to express myself right now I just want to vent to someone to listen. I come from a loving family and could get whatever I possibly wanted. But I sometimes feel so sad that I am going no where in life I always feel everything is my fault. I care about people before i care about myself. I would kill myself to save another person. Growing up I can remember this would happen and I think it is getting worse. Whenever I do something wrong and I make someone angry I start hurting myself when I get in a fight with my boyfriend I start punching myself and pinching my arm I slap myself across the face and I tell myself how useless I am and how my mother should have never had me. Is this normal? I don't know if I want to express my feelings to my family about this. I don't want to be put into a physc place and I feel like if I say something people are going to think I'm dramatic. I just needed someone to vent to about this. No one knows about these. I often think about cutting myself but I don't think I have the courage to take something and cut myself with it. What's wrong with me?
I'm not even kidding, this is exactly what happened to me. Exactly. For me, this has always been normal, and until I came to advicenators two days ago, I never told anyone about my suicidal thoughts and actions. Every time a death happens I always think it's my fault and like I could have done something. I got into a habit of this that I started enjoying pain, and sometimes it feels like it will make you feel better. One thing I commonly do is use my fingernails to claw up my arms and legs when I'm mad or sad. Hurting yourself though is never the answer. Sometimes when you feel this way, you need someone to talk to. Now your just like me not wanting to tell your family or friends about this, so talk to someone you don't know but that will still care. I've told about three different people this already, but use this app called kindly. It will give you twenty minutes with someone to talk to, or you can use the twenty minutes to help someone, and friend them. It's good that you came online to ask for help. I went online and took a bunch of online test and was proven to have depression. Maybe you should take some too just to see, then maybe go online and talk with people to see how to work through it. I have gotten much better, and talking about it does help, believe me. To stop doing some of these things, I took some hypnosis sessions and it helped tremendously. If you ever need to talk, I'll always speak with you. You can go to my advice column and suggest to leave a question. It doesn't even have to be a question, if you just need to talk ill listen and help in any way I can. God bless ๐
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Hi, so I've been dating this girl for a few weeks. Now she is REALLY beautiful, all the guys are after her. I even received a text from one of her guy friends saying he was going to try and steal her from me. She also hangs out at some other guy's houses the whole time. I know she is loyal, as am I, I just get worried because we really love each other, but she lives in Texas and i live in Tennessee. It's just that I've dealt with long distance relationships before, they don't work out. But with her, I know it will last a long time. I'm just wondering, should I be worried? Should i keep loving her? :(
If you love her and try to give up, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Yes, long distance relationships are difficult, but if you truly love each other, you can make it work. If your worried, save your money and drive up there to throw a romantic date. Tell her you love her and you hope to never lose her. It's not bad to be worried, in fact, it's a good thing. Let her know how amazing she is and that's why your afraid someone will snatch her up. Tear yourself down, while building her up and say you never want to lose her and that you want to be with her. Girls love when guys do romantic gestures and like to feel special. If you truly love her, distance will not keep the two of you apart. Don't just say you love her, show her and prove it.
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I am a 21 yr old girl, Me and my boyfriend been together for a year and 4months, but he doesn't have job or even have a education, he wants me to drop everything and move there but I just started my two jobs, I don't know what to do! Should I? Or am I giving to much? Help me what should I do?
The real question is, do you want to move there? If so, then ask him how he will be able to pay for rent and necessities and find a job in his area. If not, then explain to him that you just started two new jobs and need a little time before you move in. The choice is yours, so it all depends on what YOU want๐
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Personally, I have been very miserable all of my life. I have suffered from OCD as long as I can remember. I moved from New York to Florida when I was five years old. It was very traumatic for me. I have tried to commit suicide, but I just ended up in a mental institution. I do see a psychiatrist, but she does not help me. In fact, I only see her for the medication. I am absolutely miserable right now, especially with my job. I decided that I will no longer give any types of hints about suicide because I don't want to end up in a mental institution again. That did nothing to help me. I am going through preparations (getting my house ready, cleaning, trying to pay off bills).
i am so sorry to hear what your going through. I too was once suicidal, but have never been in an mental institution, so I can't say Ive felt what you have gone through. My advice, never give up hope. There's a song I listen to when I felt suicidal, and it's helped me many times. It's called get back up by tobymac. I also started hypnosis sessions, and it really does help. Plug in headphones while you sleep, and it really will help you. Just make sure you read the reviews and comments first, 'cause thee are people that may put in bad messages that could do the exact opposite it's meant to do. So make sure people are saying it works for them before you listen. You can listen to them free on YouTube or get an app. If you need someone to talk to there is an app called kindly that random people use of they need to talk to someone or want to help someone. They will give you twenty minutes with a person to text, and you can friend them and move on to someone different. And if you like, you can always go to my column and talk to me. I will read it and help in any way I can. I promise๐
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F/13 Hi! So, I've known this guy for two years now and we used to talk everyday. He'd tell me anything and everything as would I. A few months ago, he asked me out. I said I didn't like him that way and wanted to keep the friendship going. But ever since then, the conversation has dropped and I speak a few words to him once - if I'm lucky - a day.
I hate that we aren't as close as we used to be and I have tried to get the friendship back. But, conversation gets low and he moves on to have better conversations with someone I hate. I'll admit I'm jealous. He laughs more around her like we used to. I probably sound stupid... 'I'm only 13. I'll make new friends,' I can already see the replies. But, I want to know whether to keep trying or to let go.
I don't want to let go but will it make him happier if I stop trying?
Ok, I'm gonna be honest here. If he's with someone he knows you hate and laughing a lot around her, I think he IS trying to make you jealous. When guys really like a girl, they will go to pretty strong strengths. Be direct and ask him why he's avoiding you lately. He may be upset that you turned down his offer, and is doing what he can to make you jealous and want him. If you can't talk to him, text, email, call, use Facebook, Instagram, ANYTHING to try to get ahold of him and prove how much his friendship means to you. If he avoids your ways of getting in contact, have someone speak for you, without letting him know you put him/her up to it. Someone you and him can talk to as a friend preferably because then that friend will listen to you, and he will listen to him/her. I hope it works out for you. Good luck!๐
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My father has another wife and a kid in another country. He and my mom are not married but he comes over everyday for dinner when he's in the country which is most times and takes us out for dinner/vacations/everything a father does. He didn't tell me about this other wife and my sister. I found out on my own. I don't know what to do with it though. He's a great father. And I can't wrap my head around this. My mother knows but when she had me she didn't. He promised he'd marry her. But he didn't yet he still is around with her. He doesn't give her much money only when she really really needs it and even then its a loan. So she's not here for the money. Every weekend we go to his house and they don't sleep together they actually talk. Sometimes past midnight. So I'm guessing he loves her. But I can't fathom why he wouldn't marry her or divorce the other one. But I was hoping someone here can help me with it. I don't know what I should do with this information. What should I do with it? And also any ideas on why he's doing what he's doing?
The reason you probably didn't know about the other family even with your mother knowing, is mostly likely one of two reasons. 1: they were afraid on how you would look at them if you knew about him having another family, or 2: they just didn't know how to tell you. Being sixteen, they know you are old enough, but I'm sixteen too and I know sometimes we automatically think the worst without getting the whole story, and maybe they wanted to figure out to tell you in a way a teenager would understand. I can't say for sure whether or not he will leave his other wife and marry your mom, but if he truly loves her I'm sure he will. Maybe he just needs time, 'cause I'm sure he loves his other kid too, and it may take time so he can figure it all out. As for him paying for your stuff and not your mom, you did say that she has a good paying job. Maybe he doesn't make as much as her salary. He probably wants to pay for your stuff and schooling because he loves you and wants to be a good dad. Just give him some time and show him that you love him, and if he really loves your mom, he will marry her.
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Should I stay with my boyfriend? I'm 13 and he's 16 but he lives all the way in London. I know some of his friends and that's how I met him. We started back talking a few days ago. I found out that he signed up for the army and he has three years of training. He did it so he wouldn't have to be with me anymore but he wont break up with me and he says that he wants to be with me.
I'm so confused and I need to know if I should break up with him.
Hi! I'm sorry for you trouble and hope to give you the best advice I can possibly give. First off, you don't know for sure that's why he signed up for the army. Ask some of his friends, I'm sure they will know the reason why. I tend to overthink things a lot like that too, but if he says he wants to be with you then he very well may. Ask around and see what his friends and family say. Everyone has a reason why they do something, and you just may not know why he wants to go. I can understand your first thought would be so he could get away from you. But what if he really does want to be with you and you want to be with him and you dump him with the both of you having feelings? It's best to ask and get the whole story first. And ask more than one person 'cause different people will say different things. But please don't dump him till you know for sure ๐
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Sometimes it seems like I'm not needed. Why should I stick around if I'm not needed? Apparently I'm annoying, why should I speak if I'm annoying? I don't see a reason to go on, maybe I don't need a reason. Maybe I just just go, a lot of people think I should go and maybe I should listen to them. I mean like, if someone loves me, they wouldn't tell me anything to hurt me. They told me to go and I think I should listen to them.
I can honestly answer this, and guarantee I know where your coming from from experience. i heard a song called get back up by Tobymac, and it made me realize life has its up and downs, but if you fall down, you can always get up again. I hope it helps you as much as it did me. And if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, there is an app called kindly. It's people all over the world who talk to you when you need someone and they will give you support. I really hope you listen to my advice. It truly will help you. Never give up on life. You may not know who it is, but there is someone who cares for you, even if right now you don't know it
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