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relationship
I am a 21 yr old girl, Me and my boyfriend been together for a year and 4months, but he doesn't have job or even have a education, he wants me to drop everything and move there but I just started my two jobs, I don't know what to do! Should I? Or am I giving to much? Help me what should I do?
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The real question is, do you want to move there? If so, then ask him how he will be able to pay for rent and necessities and find a job in his area. If not, then explain to him that you just started two new jobs and need a little time before you move in. The choice is yours, so it all depends on what YOU want👍
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Apply for jobs in his area, and discuss it. This is a really big change in both of your lives, and passion is one thing but being able to pay for rent is another.
I'm assuming this is a long distance relationship, and those are really really hard emotionally. However, communication is the most important thing in a healthy relationship, and you two need to discuss ALL of your worries and fears about possibly living together. Talk about where you're going to live (together or separate?), what your daily schedule is like, how you're going to support yourself financially, and if he wants to get married soon.
He should not expect you to drop your jobs just so he can see you. This isn't a romance movie, and you're allowed to say no.
Follow your heart and all of that, but also realize that this is a really big financial and personal decision.
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I'm sure you are leaving some details out, but fundamentally, the answer is no.
No, you shouldn't move to be with someone after knowing them for only 4 months - especially if the entire relationship has only happened online.
And No, you shouldn't move anywhere if you have no idea how you'll make ends meet and feed yourself.
You also probably shouldn't date a guy who thinks either of those things are good ideas. He's not sensible enough to be in an adult relationship with anyone.
Love is great, but love without basic physical security doesn't last long.
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The fact that you've asked the question means on some level, you think you might be sacrificing too much. On a deeper level, your instincts are worried that you two don't have the same goals or approach to life. With him having no job or desire for one and you happily starting two, it's clear that it COULD be a mismatch.
However, I agree that love and happiness are extremely important. If you can trust him, he truly makes you happy, you're comfortable with him and you truly don't care about HIS employment status, then you might want to consider it. Look in his area for similar jobs like the ones you'd be leaving behind.
However, you should also understand that you'd be making a major move. Do you see yourself happy with someone like him 3 years from now or 5 or 10 years from now? Think about the girl you want to be at those times. Does he compliment her?
You should also consider more practical things like, How will you feel if you come home and he's been partying with friends all day? Will you be paying most of the bills? How happy will you guys be on completely different schedules? What if your career starts to advance and he starts to feel threatened?
However, unless you're absolutely sure one way or the other after you've considered all of these things, I'd say move out there.
You guys have been together for a long time. It will hurt to go in a completely different direction. The only solution might be to actually move out there and let the cards fall where they may. Otherwise, you might regret leaving him behind without knowing.
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Well it depends on whether you think he's the one or not. I think you should always follow your heart, and put love first. But what is most important is what makes you happy. Do you see a future with him and does he make you truly happy? Then I say go for it! But tell him he needs to get a job or something to keep his life going and help support you guys and stuff. Definitely do what makes you happy.
Hope this helps~
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