Basketball3846's advice column

askBasketball3846

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: well i am 13 and having my second child. that pretty much says it all. help?

Well from all that you've given, all I can say is 1)stop having sex 2)use a condom or 3) get birth control. I could help you more if you want to email me whatever else you specificlly need help on at xoleah12ox@yahoo.com.

Q: Ok well, my dad got offered this job in Philadephia and he took it. And we were all excited me expecially because i really want to move but i think my mom is selffish because, she doesn't want to quit her job she doesn't even like to move up there with him and therefore i can't go because we can't afford it. What should I do? Is she really acting selffish?

Well, your mom is thinking more for herself but then again, you are thinking for yourself as well. In a way you are both being self-fish. Try sitting her down and talking to her. Tell her why you want to move and listen to why she wants to stay and not quit her job. Research and see if there are any jobs like hers in Phili and explain she can have what she has there in Phili as well. Being understanding to each other and try to come to a compramise. Just remember, don't start pointing fingers or else things will turn out much much worse.

Q: its kind of a long story, for those of u willing to read......this guy... we'll call him james. james and i have been together for a year. everything was perfect. my family liked him, his family liked me, or so that is what i thought. everything was falling perfectly into place. One day, my mom was with me while i was opening an email. this was about two months ago. i opened my email and there was this song that he dedicated to me. The words of the song were really nice, but he didn't just send the words. He sent the music video, which had gays and lesbians kissing all over it. i asked him why he would send that to me, because usually guys who like girls are grosed out by two guys kissing each other. He said that he was sorry, he only meant to send the words to me, but my mom had a fit an a half because she did not think that it was normal for a young man to be sending his girlfriend those kinds of things. then, she did not want me to talk to him any more, which i remember was right before the hurricane. so, after that, i had no communication with him because there was no power due to the hurricane.my mom made me tell him i didnt want to talk to him anymore infront of her and wouldn't leave until i did. as soon as i had power, i sent him an email telling him i was sorry and everything... but we didn't have power for almost two weeks, so i was super worried... and i didn't talk to him until a week after because i was really nervous. he said that it was fine and stuff and that he really wanted to be with me and all that. so, then there was this party that i didn't know he was going to, and i saw him there cuz he showed up. he came up to me and the whole night he was hugging me and kissing me and holding my hand i was really happy and had all of these butterflies in my stomach, but like two days after, he told my best friend to tell me that he wasn't really that interested in me. and i was very hurt because he always told me that he loved me and that he wanted to marry me and stuff. this happened like two months ago. so, i get a myspace friend request last night right when this other guy was asking me out. but, i was still hurting from the other guy... but then i saw him and when i looked at his myspace it said that he loves this girl and all he can do is think about her. and now i don't noe whether or not to approve him because what he did really hurt but i still want to be with him, and his dad might have something to do with what happened because i don't know if his dad is at me. please help me... should i approve him even after all he did????? because i might want him back..

Well, if this guy was really important to you then it's perfectly fine for you not to be over him and personally, I think that your mom was ridiculous for acting the way she did. This guy doesn't seem right for you though in the long run because if he didn't even have the balls to tell you himself that he didn't like you that way, then that is just way to low. Especailly after being all over you that night. I wouldn't approve him if I were you because this way he will know that what he did was stupid and he'll know what a great person he lost out on.

Q: theres this guy that loves to hang out with me. id hang out with him too but he stinks.. i mean really really stinks. its a horrible smell!!! and he's always always following me... so since he's always around me, is there a nice way i can tell him that he smells really bad? lol. thanks xoxo

Well haha that is kind of a bad situation. Take him out shopping, find collogne that you really like and tell him to buy it. Or buy it for him! If he really loves to hang out with you, then he might be willing to. If not then keep trying to get him to buy different kinds. This is a realllllly suttle hint and it will make him feel good if he buys it because then he KNOWS that you like the way he smells.

Q: Hi im 15/f and I am what you can call it a "semi-bulimic"

i am "semi-bulimic" because i only purge when i feel i need to...

you know what i mean? like if i feel i ate a lot

which i feel that right now ...because i decided to go on like no bread or potato or cake and snack crap... only for a week like south beach diet... but nooo i hate to eat the fricken cup cake (not one but 5)
and i had to have potatoes and bread...

I knew i was full when i was eating cakes...but i shoved that in anyways because it tasted so good...ugh and now im feeling rly full and feel really guilty that i couldnt control my stupid
temtation i had... so yeah...

I mean i am even on this stupid pill that is suppose to control my hunger but it doesnt... i mean it doesnt make me hungry but i still eat it anyways cuz it taste good... how can i control my temtations??? i've been through this so many times that i am depressed all the time i think about me losing control over my self like that...

so anyone please help me stop over eating like that... please??? thank you so much in advance

I went through the same thing a couple of times. Just think to yourself what the outcome will be when you're eating. It helped me a lot to put a certain amount in a bowl and eat it in a room far away from the kitchen so I wouldn't go back and get more.
Also, do things to keep your mind off eating. I don't reccomened watching tv because it's harder to focus in front of it. Try reading a book or meditating. If none of this helps, then ask a friend or family member to try and help you stop eating once they feel like you've had enough. Once you get into good habits, it will be REALLY easy from then on.
It's hard at first but if I could do it then so can you.

Q: I have OCD and anxiety. I have thoughts racing through my mind concstintly (sp) And sense I have OCD i obsess about thoughts in my mind. what are some ways (without) medicing (because im already on some medicine and working with a doctor) that I can slow down these thoughts.

Well, when I have thoughts running through my head a lot, I usually just lie down and play some music and meditate. Either that or you could always buy some yoga workout videos. This should help you relax which should in turn, help to slow down the thoughts.

Q: Okay.

i'm 15 and a half, female, sophomore in highschool, and i've like the same guy for a long time. Probably since september... about 7 and a half months now. I mean, some times i'll like him a LOT, and other times it'll be a crush. But it's always there. He's a junior btw. I think he's 17. Anyways a while back i told him how i felt... it was a few months ago. And it turned out he liked my friend "R". I dont' think R likes him, but he's always talking to her and stuff. I mean, R and him are friends to begin with, so i could be overreacting, but it seems like they flirt a lot.
Anyways R and this guy both went on this trip my school sponsored to europe. My best friend G also went on the trip. G hung out with this guy, and this guy's friends. When the guy i like wasn't around, she got around to talking to his friends. She, G, found out that the guy i like has never asked anyone out before in his life becuase he's too shy. Which, i guess makes me more at ease about R and him being in europe together. But a while ago i thought he liked me. Like little stuff he did i could kind of interpret as signs. At the time, i figured he knew that i liked him, so if he liked me, he would ask me out. Obviously not the case. So i guess he's going to his prom with this freshman girl, whom i've heard rumor he likes, but i'm not sure if he'll actually follow through with dating her. I think i missed my chance to ask him out before he started liking this freshman, and now i don't know if i'll ever get the opportunity. I'm really hooked on this guy. I think we'll get closer once Drumline starts (we're both on the line) but that's not till after summer, and i'll probably forget him by then, logically speaking. I'm a hopeless romantic, and i really don't want to lose this guy. We talk as friends, but not much mroe. I've never dated anyone before... so i'm not sure how to go about asking someone out, or if at this point if i should be asking this kid out. Obviously i should wait till after his prom, but even at that point i'm not sure what to do.

i guess i just need general relationship advice on this one.

Sorry it's so long. Any ideas?

I, personally, don't think that you lost your oppertunity at all. It seems as if you are friends with this guy and that's how most relationships start out. What I would do, is wait until after prom and see what happens with him and the freshman. If nothing happens, start getting close with him and over time tell him you like him. This, most likely, will give him the confidence he needs to ask you out if he does like you.

If he does go for the Freshman, then don't worry about it. Stay friends with him. The summer is coming soon enough and usually relationships wont go all the way through summer, especially with a freshman and jouior. So you always have another year!

Q: theres this boy that is dating one of my best friend, they have been on and off for awhile and he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out again!!but, me and him were hangin out all day friday and i started to like him!!! now today my friend said that he had been avoding her all weekend. what does it meen or am i just being obsessed?? lol

This is a really hard situation. What I would do if I were you is to talk to the boy. Ask him why he's avoiding your friend and if he tells you it's no reason or just blows it off completly and doesn't change the way he's acting, he may have feelings for you. Though, if he does change and treats your friend with more respect then it probably just didn't occur to him that he was doing this.

If worse comes to worse and he does like you, I would tell your friend. It will be hard and she will be hurt most likely but overtime she'll appreciate the fact that you told her.

Q: i have an mp3 player and i want to clear all of the songs off of this, does anyone know how?

http://www.circuitcity.com/ssm/SanDisk-Digital-Audio-Player-SDMX3512A18-/sem/rpsm/oid/135106/catOid/-12952/rpem/ccd/productDetail.do

that is the one i have if it matters.

thanks...ill rate 5s if you tell me how!!!

Usually, when you plug in a music device like you would do to put on music, a list of the songs should show up. Especially if you use iTunes to do it. When the list fo songs shows up, try deleting them. If not, then see if the manual tells you how to do it, or a website for the specific product.

Q: Do you think it is ok to ask a guy if he likes you. I mean like like you?

That sounds fine, though, it could be kind of akward for the guy. So like XsHoPtiLLuDroP59 said, try asking them WHO they like first. If they say they don't want to tell you, or come right out and say it, it could mean they like you.

Q: My boyfriend and I go to different schools. Before we started going out, we started talking about 2 months ago. Before either of us had feeling for each other, he told me he was going to prom with a girl from his school but they are 'just friends'. So last night, was his prom with that girl. I was wondering, was it wrong for him to take her when i'm his girlfriend? I know they are just friends but people have told me that he was being a jerk by taking her instead of me. So what do ya'll think?

i think it was fine because he told this girl awhile ago he would take her and you dont just leave your date. also, she would probably have been left without one and for him to leave her wouldnt be the right thing to do.

Q: 1. i like this guy and i think he likes me to.
2.i like him A LOT.
3.i think he was going to ask me out on friday.
4. he always goes into my conversation with my friend and makes me laugh
5.everytime him and his friend pass by i see his friend point at me and the boy i like smiles
6.i wanted him to ask me out on friday but when he was about he got to shy and did not. ):
7.he is so HOTT!!!!!
What do i do!!!!! help soon!!!!!advice by friday today is monday!!!!!!I rate 5s!!!!!

this sounds like your going to have to make the first move. give it more time if you like but if by this friday he doesnt ask you, go for it. just calmly walk up to him and say "hey i hear this movie is really good wanna go see it with me this weekend?" or throw a party and invite him and give him lots of attention.

Q: i am 15 years old and i am a female. i have bean dating this guy, that ive liked, for a while now. well, when i go to his house he likes to give little kisses and stuff. well, he simetimes would try and go a little down, like to my boobs or my tummy, and i would/will get nervous and turn away.what should i do about it? how can i stop being so nervous?
thank you for answering my questions
sincerly,
babyzaboo

Dont worry most people are like this the first time this happens. I know i was shaking and scared my then boyfriend to death. just go with the flow, if you feel nervous hold on to his hand while he does it, that way you will feel like you have some control. if its just way out of you boundry lines, then maybe your just not simply ready for it.

Q: i am 15 years old and i am a female. Well, there is this boy i like and we have bean seenig each other for abot 1.5 months, but we aren't going out. he tells me that he loves me, gives me kisses, and stuff like that, but this is when we are at his house. when we are at school he doesn't kiss me or tell me that he loves me. he doesn't even talk to me that much. all he does is say hi give me a quick hug and say bye. he said that he doesn't want to get into trouble.
does he really love me? is he embarassed to be around me? does he only want sex? well, thank you for helping me out....bye.

most guys are like that. they are embarrassed to show their love for you in front of their friends or other people. i dunno why but thats how it usually is with most guys that age. theyll get over it though.

Q: Hey,I was wondering since my boyfriend talks about cars and I know abosolutley nothing about cars what can I talk about with him on that subject so I won't feel dumb?

ask him questions. even if your not interested just be like so whats this thing do? itll keep you guys talking, teach you, and hell feel good thinking that he has helped you out!

Q: I've know this kid Nick sinse elementary school and we ended up liking eachother and going out in 6th grade (which was last year)then we broke up. Now I'm in 7th and we kinda drifted away but I saw him at a party the other night and now I really like him all over again. I told him that and he likes me too! But he thinks I'll end up breaking up with him again, so I wanna prove to him that I really do like him. Any tips for school tomorrow??

stay around him and give him your attention. do this to make him feel like your attention is souly on him. by doing this, hell feel like you really like him and care about him and if hes feeling that then hell start to feel like it could work out this time around.

Q: Okay, I see this guy once a week, (and I enjoy it :) but I always get so nervous because it always seems like he's always watching me, and so I try to look calm & cool, but I always mess up around him, tripping, or whatever. My face gets all hot and everything, and I hate it! Is there even anything I could do to prevent feeling like this around him?
Thanks a lot in advance.

haha dont worry hun thats pretty much my life right there. what i do, i laugh it off. if i trip, i exagerate it and laugh. usually hell laugh along. you might get teased about it but hey thats also known as flirting! just laugh and enjoy yourself and hell see confidence and that your a fun person,

Q: okay. well i just moved to this new school about 3 months ago & i absolutely HATE it, but i know i will love it next year.. buttt i have a choice of going to my old school which i love! and plus my boyfriend lives there .. , buttt my mom really wants me to stay where i am now. :(

you should make a list of whats good and bad at both schools and see what one could be better. from what you said, you havent listed anything bad about your old school but you have about the new one. yet, you have pros for both. just sit down and think it out for what YOU want... not your mum.

Q: what does customer service mean?

its how people interact with their customers basiclly

Q: is it true that guys are only your friends if they are some what attracted to you .. like theyd only be your friend if they like your of if they think your hot is that true? - 15/f

no im absolutaly positive thats not true. i have many guy friends and some of which ive dated and theyve broken up with me, and yet were stil friends. if they did like me like that, they woouldnt have broken up with me. yet, theyre still my friends.

bio

Hey guys! My name is Leah and I am 15 years old. I'm from Maine where it's always beautiful but for some reason, everyone here wants to leave it. I love playing basketball and just hangin out with my friends whenever I can. I am the advice giver in my group of friends and I always help them out with whatever it is they may need. When I get older I want to be a phyciatrist and have a huskey named Isabella. I don't know why but I do. If you have a problem, I am here for you and wont judge you at all. I never pass up on a question passed to me so don't be shy. I've been through a lot in the past 15 years and I'm sure I will be able to answer a majority of you guys' questions. Hit me up and don't forget to live for the moment. It's the most important thing you can do.