BLONDShorty's advice column

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Q: Sometimes I dont eat for a while then when I do eat I feel sick I never thought I have an eating disorder but do I?

You would know if you had an eating disorder. You may have just some type of problem where you don't feel hungry. An eating disorder is a psychological disorder. I had one and it's something that consumes your every thought 24/7. Every night you go to sleep thinking about what you can't eat the next day. And when you eat a lot, it's a binge of things that don't make sense. Anything in the freezer, refrigerator. Your body goes into this mode where you pick up anything because it cannot take the starvation anymore. The guilt of eating is so big, you throw up, over exercise, or starve yourself the next day or the next week. If you are experiencing these symptoms, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek help. Once you start bingeing, it's a harder cycle to stop than is not eating. It's easier to introduce food than to take away food when you are underweight or went through a period of starving. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you can ask me any questions because I know a lot. But, please don't hesitate to seek help.

God bless xoxo

Q: TR (21) and I (19) dated for 7 months. I've always been crazy about him. And he loved me too. Then 3 weeks ago he ended it rather abruptly saying that he was tired of walking on eggshells (I have BPD), that he's not happy, and finally "I don't love you. I did... but I don't know what happened." I made him promise not to disappear out of my life and he agreed to be friends. So I let myself be heartbroken for a couple weeks and now I'm more numb than anything. Meanwhile, he quit his job he's had for four years and got a new one. Then shaved his beard that he loved. So I started wondering if maybe the break up has less to do with me and more because he was just unhappy in general and was trying to change EVERYTHING he has control over and start over? Anyway, I got him to have dinner with me last night and everything was different. He was more quiet and monotone, as opposed to the way he used to be. He was dark and wouldn't even smile at things that used to make him laugh. On top of that, he literally shot spitwads at me. And when we hugged at the end of the night, he kept poking me with his keys. I tried to act normal; a mix between how he and I used to be (perfect chemistry) and how I am with my other friends. So what I am trying to figure out is... was he acting so cold because he was with ME, or is there something wrong? And why do I suddenly feel like his little sister? And will our "friendship" always be like this?

OMG THIS IS SO SCARY THIS IS THE SAME AS ME AND MY EX! OMG! I can't believe that I found someone who understands what I'm going through. I honestly think that it has more to do with him than with you. My ex is the same!! OMG!! he let his beard grow out and got a new job and everything! I wish I could tell you how to fix it. If you talk to him about it, he will most likely get more angry :( I can tell you from experience. He has to work on himself. But, if you push it on him, he will get more angered. If you really care about him, keep it the way that it is now and he will most likely come around. The best advice I could give you is DO NOT GO AGAINST HIM! I read a book to help me get through this and the more you try to show him the break up was a bad idea, the more he will try to prove that he is right. It's like a male ego thing. The best weapon you have now is jealousy. It doesn't have to be with another guy. But, if he sees you happy with your friends, he will be jealous. If he thinks a guy is interested in you, he will be jealous. But, don't stop being the girl he fell in love with. Try to get him to remember how it was when he fell in love with you in the first place. Try to remind him subtly of it. did you have a song? Make sure he hears it somewhere. Something like that. Memories bring strong emotions. I wish I could be better help. Please let me know how it turns out! xoxo

Q: Hey!(: so back to what I was saying from (feedback) what part of Florida are you from? I have a lot of family that lives up there! Ok haha now time for the dream it is just getting weirder and weirder as the days go by sense the dream. And also from your reply I don't know this guy and no he's not local I'm pretty sure you know him or have heard of him atleast! Haha(: but like it really is gettin weird everyday I think about him (I always did before) but now even more and I mean it's every second of the day literally his song are constantly on my mind I sit and daydream about it all day and most of he time my day dreams get so deep that I literally feel like I'm living them and cant even see the outside world. Plus things are gettin really freaky like signs and things cuz like I was reading a recent magazine and l looked at 1 or 2 recent videos and I was just like wow this is amazon like yesterday I found out he is getting ready to tour soon and I was shocked and so happy and my mom already promised to get me front row or second row tickets and like he loves his fans and he does a lot of things even calls them on stage and I was like woow and then I'm like two or three years younger I think it would be considered two though haha anyway But I was worried because I was younger but last night I happened to see an interview that he had with someone and the talk show person said your a major flirt and he like laughed and said ya and stuff and then he talk show person said does age matter when it comes to love because you have so many young fans and he said no if I'm in love it don't matter about the age and I sat there and just like had a happy moment hAha! Isn't that weird call me physcic but I honestly believe these are signs and that this could happen and then also I saw the gf thing plus like he always says how he really likes to interact with fans and would like to date them! Now here's something really freaky this morning i was laying in bed and one of my favorite tv shows came on and the show was about a famous singer coming to the school and this kid who liked he singer and wanted to go out with the singer and it even gets weirder the singer was the exact same age As the singer in my dream that I like (love) in real life and the kid was the exact same age as ME!! Now isn't that weird(: haha this is mAking me feel so good! Haha but I really think something is happining! So my question this time isndo you think these are signs and do you agree this is like getting weird and what are your other thoughts(: Thanks!! Ps. Let me know if I start bothering you haha and plus one more thing everytime I see his picture it really feels different if I make sense(:

haha! believe me, it's ok!!! I am from Miami. This is really interesting! That's a lot of stuff going on. I think I know which celebrity you are talking about. Since you are experiencing these "psychic feelings," I encourage you to read "The Secret" by Rhonda Burns. It's an AMAZING book. But, it's kind of what is happening to you right now: the law of attraction. You are like calling this with your mind and if you want it to go further, you can call it to you more. Read the secret and find out how. You will realize that you are already doing it. I think I know who the celebrity is who you are talking about lol. Unlike most people, I'm not going to tell you that it's impossible to date a celebrity. It's really not impossible, it's just difficult to meet them if you don't already know him. But, you said your mom was getting you close tickets. I think for this particular celebrity they probably sell a meet and greet package because my hair stylist bought them for her daughter, whose like 7. Just do a lot of research and see the kinds of things he likes. Also, remember that he's use to girls being goo goo ga ga, so try to act like a mature young woman, which you are so you can stand out. Of course, get all cute. Do your hair. Try to find out his favorite perfume. Just as you would if you were trying to get the attention of any other guy. And don't worry, please inbox me any time :) That's what I'm here for!

Q: Hey again(: haha um I actualy got one part wrong ha he actualy don't exactly have a gf I actually found out they r just really good friends so I was wondering if that changed anything?! Also something a little unusual is that sense that dream things I see like ohh I don't know how to really explain it but like things I keep seeing about this person keeps just like getting my hopes up or should I say better chances of it being like the dream it's so wierd like I'm seeing these things like looking at interviews (recent ones) that say all these hopeful things do u get what I'm saying? Haha it's just so hard to explain but it's getting kinda weird and really wonderful it makes me happy!! So another really big is do u think this could really mean something and maybe come to life so far it's gettin freakishly cool sinse the dream and including the dream! Sorry to keep bothering you haha but your really helping me!(: thank you

no worries. you aren't bothering me at all. I'm always happy to help. Sometimes, we have abilities to see things in our dreams. I'm a big believer of that because my mom kind of has these psychic dreams sometimes. Especially, when two people are a lot alike and/or are soulmates. If you saw it before the dream, it's because you are hopeful after seeing it. if you saw it after the dream, then maybe you are experiencing like some psychic nature. I certainly believe in that. If you found out that he doesn't have a girlfriend, then maybe I was right in the first interpretation that you feel it's his career that's holding this back. Maybe if he weren't famous, then you think you would have a better chance of getting together with him! Believe me, nothing is impossible, though. I happened to meet some famous people, and I've realized that they're not so impossible to get in contact with. I don't know if you have already and if you know him. I don't know if this is like a local celebrity. You mentioned that you were dreaming about Florida, so I don't know if you are from there. But, I am from Florida so that's really interesting! Another cool thing :)

Q: hey there(: once again i really thank you for your advice!! and you said that it would help you if I gave you more details so i figured i would give you some first ill put my question on here again so you can look at it then i'll put the details!
my question

well first off i am a teenager and a female and the other night(3 days) i had the best dream i have ever had and everysinse i think about it all the time and i have a smile on my face! ok heres the dream it was me and this guy i realllllly like i mean really like and he dont know i like him or anything but we held hands and kissed and things like that in my dream and the thing i remember most is when we held hands and it made me sooo happy(: but then at the end of my dream (before i woke up) i tried to kiss him and he shook his head because he had a gf but he only had a gf at the end of the dream and not at the beginin when he aloud me to kiss him idk it was wierd but i loved it when we held hands! btw he is kinda a celebrity and not but maybe 1 or 2 years older than me i really hopes this means something good(: becuase i reallly like this guy!

DETAILS!
ok now here are the details like you said would help trust me i defintly remember! ok so you said about the gf thing well in real life he does have a gf but they are only teenagers so they pretty much wouldn't get married but anyway you said about the colors and surrondings well i really dont remember what i was wearing haha but i remember it looked like we where on a screened in porch and it was like maybe in a tropical climate that would remind me of florida i was on the computer out there and he was sitting by me on my right and (btw this was at the end of the dream basicaly) and also the computer was an older version desktop and like this is the part of the dream i cherish and remember the most i was typin something and we were holding hands basicaly mine was just laying on top of his then i had to type some thing so i moved my hand to type then i reached over to hold his hand again and this time we were really holding hands just not mine over his but we really held hands and then i looked up at him and that was like the best moment ever when i saw his face and like my outside body out of the dream i felt something litteraly felt something like i got that happy feeling and like i probaly was smiling haha but it didn't even feel like a dream it felt sooo real it was wonderful(: then after i looked at him i wanted to kiss him and he simply shook his head no and it was weird because he didn't say why he wouldn't let me but i instintly knew why and then i woke up. i almost don't even have words to say how amazing it really was and like i said if it kinda make sense it didnt even really feel like a dream. i think i remember what he was wearing i think it was a solid color t-shirt either blue or pink or maybe it was one of those checked button up shirts i don't quite remember but i'm sure it was one of those and then i think a pair of white or khaki shorts. now for the last thing the beggining of the dream i remember we where in florida i think or maybe it was gulf shores and we where at this resteraunt that was on the beach and then i rand up to him and we kissed! but at the end of the dream he didnt't let me kiss him. the most part i enjoyed thouh was the holding hands when i looked up at him after we gathered hands and he smiled(: last detail he don't technicaly have a job singing is his job he is famous and he is a singer and a teenager. i hope this helps sorry if i put to much i was just trying to give you a lot of details please tell me some more of what you think, you are really helping me(: thanks!

I'm SO happy that I helped you! Thank you so much for your feedback! Very interesting! the reason i asked you to remember all those details is because it helps your memory and helps you remember more. Obviously, this is someone who you mentioned you were REALLY interested in. So, he is in your thoughts, and he is is appearing in your dreams. Like I mentioned, colors and things like that mean different things to different people. But, remembering details is interesting when you are trying to find patterns in your dreams. I think that this is probably a fantasy of yours. You want to be alone with him. It's very interesting that you said that he didn't say it, you just knew it. It's like all the communication in the dream is telepathy. When you are happy in a dream and it feels so real, it's that it is very much in your working memory. What I meant by the job, is that his career, being famous and that represented a girlfriend. That's where his commitment is, you may think. But, if you know that he really does have a girlfriend, then it just may be that you feel like she is in the way and that she's the main thing not letting you be with him... but at the same time, you don't see her as much of a threat because she doesn't even appear in the dream and he doesn't even really mention her. You know she is present, but you don't see her as a threat. That is what I think! Feel free to inbox me if you have any other questions!

Q: My dad was killed in 1994 by a guy who was smoking pot and drinking. they both died due to high speeds dont want to share to many details still really pain full always will be. i lost so much time with him and barely remember his personality at all. the point of this is i have been having nightmares about it that bother me and im really nice and quite most of the time can be a smartass but since these nightmares of him ive stopped socializing ill i feel is sad ness pain and fear. cause to add on to that my mom is now getting ill survied cancer and all but recentily had a heart attack and now she is drowing lungs are filling up with fluid. i tell my girlfriend everything but reasurnence only gose so far when you already know how bad it hurts to lose a dad some siblings and now maybe my mom last dream i was looking at both my parents graves in present time its bothering me and i dont know if i should bottle up all the pain or let it out. since your majoring in this i thought i would ask you and im 19 male in diesel tech the problem with this is if i let this bother me to much or cloud my mind i could get hurt or killed in my line of work and ive been intering for 2 months at a time???? how should deal with this advice please.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. well, i think that you are having these dreams because you feel the same thing is going to happen to your mom. I'm sure you try not to think about that during the day. But, in your subconscious, it's there. Your thoughts start to race and you wonder what it would be like to not have your mom there. The nightmares are appearing because you build up all this fear and all these worries. It has nothing to do with reassurance. If you can't reassure yourself, than no one can. You have to be the one to reassure yourself and tell yourself everything is going to be ok. As much as others can tell you, they can't get inside your head and make you change your mind. I understand that when you are going through something difficult, you become introverted because you just want to deal with your feelings. When I found out I was adopted, a few days before starting college, i became extremely introverted. I didn't do anything. I wish I could tell you that there was a magic formula to make yourself relax a bit. Believe me, we could all use it. But, you should pay attention to those dreams because your worries are reaching ALL THE WAY into your subconscious. Your working memory is in the front of your brain. The back is your subconscious. Your whole brain is filled with worries. Try drinking cammomile tea. You can also purchase it online. Other flower essences will work just as well. I take them when I start to feel sad, nervous, or anything negative. If you've never tried/heard of them before, do research. There's a lot of benefits. But, remember, no one can get inside your head and change it. You have to find it within you to try to change the way your thinking. I hope I helped and I hope everything works out for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this and you will be in my prayers. God bless xoxo

Q: Well first off I am a teenager and a female and the other night(3 days) I had the best dream I have ever had and everysinse I think about it all the time and I have a smile on my face! ok heres the dream it was me and this guy I REALLLLLLY LIKE i mean really like and he dont know i like him or anything but we held hands and kissed and things like that in my dream and the thing I remember most is when we held hands and it made me sooo happy(: but then at the end of my dream (before I woke up) I tried to kiss him and he shook his head because he had a gf but he only had a gf at the end of the dream and not at the beginin when he aloud me to kiss him idk it was wierd but I loved it when we held hands! btw he is kinda a celebrity and not but maybe 1 or 2 years older than me I really hopes this means something good(: becuase I reallly like this guy!

that's a REALLY interesting dream. I am majoring in psychology, and I can tell you a little bit about dreams. Dreams don't symbolize the same thing for everybody. Like, it's not like when you see fire in a dream, it means passion. Fire could mean something good for you and it could mean I feel suffocated for me. So, you have to look at dreams in terms of your own life and your own thoughts. Dreams are theorized to be what is in your subconscious. So what I THINK it could mean is that you want him to do all those things, hold hands, kiss. But, you feel like something is in the way. You mentions that he's kind of a celebrity. So, the gf that u see in the dream could just be crowds... like his job. Something thats not letting you be together. You may be worried in your subconscious that there's something intervening. A good technique for dream interpretation is whenever you wake up, take notes of everything. the colors you were wearing, how you felt when he kissed you, how you felt throughout the whole dream and another one is to see the dream through his eyes. How does he see in the dream, what is he seeing. I hope I helped! I'm excited to learn more about dreams myself! xoxo

Q: my boy and have a 1 year old daughter.he has been a complete dead beat, jobless and abusive for the last year and a half. I threw him out 5 days ago. after months of wanting to. Now, I am lonely after my daughter goes to bed. He is texting me alllllllll night telling me how bad he fucked up his life. Hes gonna change. I said prove it. He isnt welcome at my house so dont worry about that. But my question is if he keeps this job he is starting on monday and gets his act sober and together....should I un-break up with him....? Not let him move in, just keep a relationship. And see how it goes. I did love him dearly before he fell into his depression. I still love him. But how do I know if the abusive tendencies will go away. How do I know if he will keep his job. But what if he does become the man i know he is deeeep down, I would be an idiot to pass it up. I dont know, I told him I would re evaluate on tuesday....but i just dont know what i want to do. 50% of me wants to maintain a distant relationship and 50% of me doesnt wanna believe him and just wants to give up. We have been together for almost 4 years. I feel like everyone is telling me what to do, he is telling me im putting on a show for everyone and that i want to be with him and everyone else is telling me i need to stay away. this confliction is going to make me go crazy i just want to know what the right thing for my daughter and i is.

ok. a couple of things. sometimes, we are so use to being with someone that we don't see their faults. They could treat us terribly and we don't see their faults because were so use to being around them and we love them. you are a smart girl. you have recognized his faults. now, what you are going to do about it is up to you. what are the chances that he is going to keep his job and become sober? You would probably know since you are the one who knows who he really is. if he is abusive, you have to think that you don't want your daughter or yourself around that. if he didn't care for you or your daughter at all, he would have just left and you would never have heard from him again, like a lot of men do. if i were you, i would maintain the distant relationship. remember, that love isn't always perfect. sometimes, we love people and they mess up and we are there for them and are the ones who give them the motive to become better people. You have to trust someone: your family, your friends, close friends, and ask them to tell you when he has gone too far because love is blind and sometimes we don't see. Tell them that this is what you want to do and to please respect your decision. but, that you need them to do this for you. they will make sure that you don't get into trouble. but your daughter deserves a father as well. so, he should have that chance. but, remember to keep someone there with you to be your guide and mentor so you do not go through this alone. God bless xoxo

Q: Hello! Many of us women and/or men tend to feel hurt when we find out that our significant other is looking at others on the internet (porn). Although the simple answer to this problem is communication, what is the answer to what your husband of wife says? For example, I've found that some men say they watch it because they get the sudden urge, and since they're not doing anything special, they just do it. I'd like for men to answer this question, but women are open to comment too. Would you say this random moment of watching porn could stem from not doing anything? If you don't have a job, and don't go to school, do you think that might be the problem? Thanks in advance for your opinions!

well i definately think it could contribute to the problem. if your bored and not doing anything, you are more likely to give into your sexual desires than if you were very busy. i don't think most people are watching porn during class or at work because "they get the urge" lol. if you are home and alone with nothing to do, then one might think, why not? I think that if it really bothers you, than of course, you should communicate that to your significant other. in response, i would just say that i was curious because that was personally the way i felt and that I wanted to communicate that. that way, it's not awkward. you just wanted to say what you wanted to say. i would say that it's not always the case that a busy person doesn't watch porn, but one who is not busy is most likely to give into the desires. it's almsot like drugs or alchohol or any other addictions. it may not go away just because you start keeping busy, but it helps. That is my opinion. Hope I helped. xoxo

Q: Ok, so I'm 13 going on 14 and I've had my period for about a year now. It's still regulating itself, because I frequently miss a cycle, then get it a week later. I'm highly aware of the fact that you can get spotting in between periods. So I have the blood, and it's slightly....clotted you could say? Kind of like how cottage cheese is smooth, then it has the kind of sticky, thicker bits of the cheese. You know? Anyways, this is what all my periods have looked like. However I'm not entirely sure. So have I? The reason I'm asking is because it's really light and I haven't experienced cramps. I have been really hungry lately and I have gotten headaches whenever I'm hungrey, and the occasional mood change. (i.e. sad to happy, nothing extreme) I have another theory, that it's a growth spurt, but I don't think it's right. Please answer soon.

sounds to me like a period! sometimes, when you are regulating, you get really light period and weird ones. but, if you have mood changes and hungry and headaches, and light bleeding chances are you have your period. just check with your doctor to make sure because I am not a doctor lol. Soon enough, it will become clearer and clearer but for the first year it's kind of iffy like that. best of luck xoxo

Q: Im 15 f and I'm a little above average which I have a feeling it's only going to go up. I try not to eat much but I can't help myself so much snacks and food. And when I say I'm going to exercise I don't. I get really upset and sometimes I eat my feelings but it's not binge disorder. I'm afraid it's going to get worse and I want to lose some weight before I go on vacation

you have to know yourself and know your body. i use to have an eating disorder, so i know a lot about this because i went thorugh EVERYTHING. basically, if your probelm is the snacks, get rid of them. don't buy snacks. tell your parents not to buy snacks or to put them somewhere you don't know. have your parents or someone cook and eat what they cook. what i would recommend is to eat healthy snacks like fruit or low fat yogurt. Try to eat balanced meals so that you don't get hungry during the day. i know that it's really hard sometimes. But dieting isn't the always the answer. Read up on intuitive eating. This way you don't have to follow such a strict diet. You make it easier on yourself. If you eat oatmeal for breakfast, the grains will fill you up and you won't be hungry or crave the snacks. another idea is put grapes in the freezer and it tastes almsot like chips. but, their REALLY good. it's just a matter of changing the system in your body, not drastically dieting, because it really doesn't work. I am a strong believer in intuitive eating. i use to weigh 80 pounds and with medication to bring my period back because i was so underweight, i had to drink these pills which brought me up to 124! and I'm only 5 feet. Without dieting or anything, i gave intuitive eating a chance and today i weigh 103 and i eat whatever i want. it's just a matter of getting your body adjusted to eating a certain amount. i wish you the best and if you have any questions at all please feel free to message me. and also remember to drink lots of water! xoxo

Q: I am going to Miami in a week and I was just wondering if anyone knows of ANY clubs that are 18 and up? I am 19 and would love to hit up some clubs but I can't seem to find any online that are. I would be willing to go to Ft. Lauderdale or somewhere further just help! :(

there's a place called la covacha. It's in Miami in an area called Doral. For ladies it's 18+, guys 21+. I don't know if you are bringing any guys with you. I'm pretty sure ladies are in free. On Thursdays, we have college night at this place called Renos. The address is 2340 SW 32nd Ave, Miami, FL 33174. I tell you because it's called Renaissance something but Reno's is like the nickname. Every night, they have a different theme. But Thursdays, it's open for college night. It's REALLY fun. That's 18+ also. Those are the only two that I know of in the area. In Hollywood, which is just before Ft. Lauderdale, the Hard Rock has a nightclub. On Friday's, it's 18+, also kind of like a college thing. You don't need to present a student ID or anything for these. That's just kind of like the theme. Have fun!!!

Q: I'm a computer science major and digital arts minor, looking to go into game design.

My mom keeps telling me that it's hard to get a job in computers since everyone's going for it. But programming comes so easy to me and I loved every part of designing basic games in AP Computer Science in High School. :\

Is she right? Am I making a mistake?

your not making a mistake. there really aren't that many computer science majors. you have to do what you like. if you are good at what you do, you will find a job. In any matter, as long as you have a degree in something, you are already a step of the game. you cannot replace your education. believe me. the best of luck. you will be fine!

Q: If I begin my first year in a 4 year college and its the end of the financial aid year and efc is 0. can my pell grant pay for my college tuition and can I get the maximum loan amount as a refund?

I'm sure that you can. My pell grant pays for everything. I don't know where you live, but in Florida we have a scholarship called bright futures, and then the money is refunded back. If you don't need the loans and the pell grant pays for everything, then don't take it because you don't want to be racking up loans if you don't have to. If you do (like to pay for room and board and stuff, i don't know your living situation), then by all means, please get it. But as far as academics, the pell grant SHOULD pay for everything.

:)

Q: So i posted a few questions about my friend who is self righteous with her religion and now my friend who posted the stuff about me on facebook calls herself a christian. And ever since she's become one she bugs me about it. Since she couldn't change my religion she tried changing the way i look, she couldn't do that so now when we hangout she seems distant because she can't change me. not only that uses me and makes me come to her house all the time, and made it public on facebook about how my bad my driving is, so i finally took action and deleted her and the other girl from my facebook. Well anyways she called me and asked me if i wanted to hangout with her. I said i couldn't and she asked me why and i told her i was at a friend's house. She said oh cool well maybe we can just hang out later. I said no, and she goes why? I told her this: Because you post embarrassing things about me on facebook after i drove you around. And she of course acts like she did nothing wrong and says are you being serious right now? and i said yeah and she said okay i'll talk to you later, and i said okay bye. Then i got on facebook and she added me again, but i denied her friend request and clicked on the thing that said she wouldn't be able to send me anymore friend requests. So what i want to know is am i doing the right thing, because she obviously thinks she can act like a brat and get a way with it, and that just doesn't fly with me. And i don't get where this whole thing about me being a bad driver is coming from. When i was driving i wasn't speeding, even though i said that because they thought i was. They were distracting me, and my friend who was sitting at the front freaked out when i didn't brake, was talking really loud, and rolled down the windows and started yelling when she saw someone she knew. and then the other one was opening the door while i was driving. So yeah what should i do if the friend who called me to hangout starts asking me why i am mad at her, and why i am making a big deal out of this. I know i am not the greatest driver ever but i don't need her telling everyone that on facebook, especially after i drove their ungrateful selves around town.

it sounds to me like this girl is using you. I'm sorry to say it that way, but she's just not very nice. First off, just because she's a Christian doesn't mean that she can only be friends with you if you are. Personally, I am and I don't go around trying to convert all my friends if they don't want to. And I don't go having dinners with pastors. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that, but it's just strange. Not too many people do that and bring friends along. I had a friend like that also. She wouldn't post things on facebook, but she would talk to people who badtalked me behind my back and then she claimed she was my best friend, like a sister! My sister has my back! lol. The advice I can offer you is the following: keep your friends close but your enemies closer. I may be wrong, but it doesn't seem like this girl is going to plot anything against you. It's just that she's a brat, and you deserve to have better friends. You have the right to keep her off of facebook. But, just because you de-friended her from fb doesn't mean u defriended her from your life. You may still have to see her around. So just keep that in mind. Make sure that you stand your ground. If you want to be friends with her, set things straight. And if you don't, then don't speak to her. Don't be flaky about it. Just stand your ground. Just be careful. You have the right to look for better friends. You don't have to settle for this type of treatment

Q: 20/F
For the past two years I've had disordered thoughts about food. I don't vomit and I don't starve. I always eat at least 1200 calories, but sometimes more. I don't binge like I used to, but some days I may eat over 2000 calories and it's unnecessary considering that I'm not physically active. How do I stop eating when I'm not hungry?

Hey! I'm 20 also and I'm a recovered anorexic and bullemic. I use to binge a lot during my recovery because I wasn't getting the proper help. It takes a lot of practice and I know you've probably heard that before. Instead of eating low fat stuff, eat real stuff in moderation. I would suggest reading books on intuitive eating. They changed my life! I eat anything I want. I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I haven't binged in over a year and have maintained myself at 105 pounds. Please read up on intuitive eating. I wish you the best. Don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions! God bless! :)

Q: How to keep my vigina clean Not smelly

at wallgreens they sell something specifically to wash down there. also, buy summer's eve wipes. Keep them in your purse or something. They always come in handy. They also sell summer's eve feminine deoderant spray, which you can spray on your underwear and it keeps it from getting smelly when you sweat. I hope I helped.
xoxo

Q: Hi,
I'm a senior guy in college studying business and I'm only a couple months from graduating. I feel a huge amount of stress to go out find a job and start a career but I have no idea how to go about doing it. I live in the northwest of the US and want to move somewhere new. Also I am currently living with my parents and feel a huge urgency to get out of the house and on my own as soon as possible.
I also love to travel so I'm also looking into possibly teaching English overseas or something like that. I am proactive and outgoing and so I already have some interviews with companies but I'm so confused I don't know who I even wanna work for even if one wanted to hire me. I feel like I have no time to think cause I have a part time job as well as going to school.
I've already talked about it with friends and family but I feel like sometimes they just give me answers they think I wanna hear so that's why I decided to post up a question here.
My question is should I focus on trying to get a job overseas teaching English, or should I try to get a job here in the states? Also if I try and get a job in the states what's the best way of trying to get a job somewhere else in another state?
Any advice for my situation is greatly appreciated. Thanks

I think it would be a fantastic idea to go overseas. I understand where you're coming from. I'm a sophomore in college now and I've been feeling like I just can't see myself outside of school. I have no idea what that would be like .I think that would be a good adventure, something to look forward to, and you'd probably be great at it to! It would clear your mind of a lot of things. You can always move back to the states, but it's not like life ends here. You don't need to feel anxious about going out and building your own business. You're still young. You're probably like what... 22 or so?? Don't sweat it. Do whatever your heart desires. I really think you should go overseas. You might learn a lot about yourself. And I understand what it's like to not want to live at home either. That, I do have a great urgency to get out of. I think that once you do, you'll feel more comfortable building your dream career.

I hope I helped and good luck. Congratulations on graduating!

Cristy :)

Q: I went to this past on New Years and was having a good time. This cute guy was talking to me and we were flirting. At one point we were making out and he kept pushing me for more. I kept telling him no and that I just wanted to have a good time, no sex involved. I don't know where things went wrong. All of a sudden I found myself agreeing to give him a blow job. Everything was moving so fast and by the end of it, I felt horrible. It's not what I really wanted to happen. I mean, he was nice and everything but that wasn't me, who I am as a person.

Now I feel really guilty and depressed over it. I don't even know the guy's last name. He was practically just a stranger who was being nice to me at a party. I can't believe I did that with him. How do I get over this and feel not so bad about myself? It was a mistake.

It happens to the best of us haha. Sometimes, things like that just happen. I don't know if you had had any drinks, but even if you didn't, there are certain holidays and events that just get people acting in ways that they wouldn't normally act. The way you can think of it is that it is already a new year. It's in the past and there isn't really much you can do about it now. Unless you have his number, I mean you could let him know through the phone or through a letter that you just wanted to make it clear because you felt guilty about it. If you don't, you're only solution is to forgive yourself. Maybe write a letter to yourself as a release. That always helps me. I hope you feel better. I know that sometimes these things happen but you're really not a slut or anything of that sort.

Q: I am taking a trip soon that will be about 12 hours on the road. There will be LOTS of driving breaks. I'm really excited but I want to have some music lined up that will really keep me in the mood for long distance driving. So, does anyone have some driving music suggestions that reminds them of being on the road, open and free? ANY style goes as long as it's road tunes! ;) Thanks

I kind of like country music. That's what plays on my ipod when I'm driving. It doesn't have to be super hick... but some Carrie Underwood. Go to Y100.com and see their last 100 played. I don't know where you live, but in Miami that's a major radio station. Good luck and have fun! You can also type road trip music into google. They may give you better suggestions than me. :)

bio

I started this column when I was 15 years old, so you'll notice that the advice has gotten better and better. I've always been interested in counseling and I started this column to gain experience. But, I found a lot more than that. I found a support system of caring and loving people. I received a degree in child development and currently working towards becoming a school psychologist. So, I hope you can feel confident in trusting me with your questions. This is more than just a fun site for me. I look back on my own questions from years ago, and I laugh when I read about my problems at 16. I've really come a long way! I'm relatively young, but I've had several experiences in life that have aided me in helping others. I hope to use those experiences for the greater good and help others who are not in their ideal situation!