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Why's my ex treating me so strange?
TR (21) and I (19) dated for 7 months. I've always been crazy about him. And he loved me too. Then 3 weeks ago he ended it rather abruptly saying that he was tired of walking on eggshells (I have BPD), that he's not happy, and finally "I don't love you. I did... but I don't know what happened." I made him promise not to disappear out of my life and he agreed to be friends. So I let myself be heartbroken for a couple weeks and now I'm more numb than anything. Meanwhile, he quit his job he's had for four years and got a new one. Then shaved his beard that he loved. So I started wondering if maybe the break up has less to do with me and more because he was just unhappy in general and was trying to change EVERYTHING he has control over and start over? Anyway, I got him to have dinner with me last night and everything was different. He was more quiet and monotone, as opposed to the way he used to be. He was dark and wouldn't even smile at things that used to make him laugh. On top of that, he literally shot spitwads at me. And when we hugged at the end of the night, he kept poking me with his keys. I tried to act normal; a mix between how he and I used to be (perfect chemistry) and how I am with my other friends. So what I am trying to figure out is... was he acting so cold because he was with ME, or is there something wrong? And why do I suddenly feel like his little sister? And will our "friendship" always be like this?
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OMG THIS IS SO SCARY THIS IS THE SAME AS ME AND MY EX! OMG! I can't believe that I found someone who understands what I'm going through. I honestly think that it has more to do with him than with you. My ex is the same!! OMG!! he let his beard grow out and got a new job and everything! I wish I could tell you how to fix it. If you talk to him about it, he will most likely get more angry :( I can tell you from experience. He has to work on himself. But, if you push it on him, he will get more angered. If you really care about him, keep it the way that it is now and he will most likely come around. The best advice I could give you is DO NOT GO AGAINST HIM! I read a book to help me get through this and the more you try to show him the break up was a bad idea, the more he will try to prove that he is right. It's like a male ego thing. The best weapon you have now is jealousy. It doesn't have to be with another guy. But, if he sees you happy with your friends, he will be jealous. If he thinks a guy is interested in you, he will be jealous. But, don't stop being the girl he fell in love with. Try to get him to remember how it was when he fell in love with you in the first place. Try to remind him subtly of it. did you have a song? Make sure he hears it somewhere. Something like that. Memories bring strong emotions. I wish I could be better help. Please let me know how it turns out! xoxo
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