Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29754
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Hi guys, if you must know i'm 18. The problem is, i'm in a downward spiral so yes, i need some advice. I know people out there face tougher challenges, but i know my life will get worse too if i don't face 'em. I'm starting to cling onto people to get happiness and my self-esteem is breaking down. It's not even there anymore ! I have a wide family but not all of them can be trusted. Not all. I have lots of friends but hey, i could even count with my fingers the ones who're really true. I'm facing rejection by the ones i would sactifice for. I don't really need guys in my life but i do really love one guy who seems to.. I don't know. We're no longer close and i break down every night missing him. Anyhow, I could no longer stress out due to the fact that i'm beginning to have detrimental heart problems because of the problems i'm facing and i admit my wrongdoings are involved too. I just need an advice on how to be wise and independent in life. I still believethat i can be a good person too, i just don't want to give up. Please help me, i can't go on feeling so messed up anymore. Thanks guys. (link)
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You seem to have identified the problem as low self-esteem for yourself already and that can be rebuilt. Bit by bit, day by day. And things look very different once you've got a better self-image. A few of your comments...well friends we can trust unquestionably are few in number. And it's easy to create that perfect, understanding 'soul mate' in someone who isn't around now. It's the 'clinging' trait that you know yourself isn't the answer. Only it's an idea you're clinging to. Self-esteem comes from within yourself.
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My car sort of ticks over and over then it starts. It doesnt always do that only when its cold. Its really odd. (link)
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Petrol (gasoline) engines need a fuel/air mixture that's more 'rich' in fuel to start quickly and run smoothly when the engine is cold (meaning it has been off a while, say overnight or while you are working). It's even more important when the weather is cold too. There will be some sort of 'cold start' device in the engine to arrange the richer mixture, which slowly 'comes off' as the engine warms up and the normal mixture is used. I'd have a guess yours isn't working properly or maybe at all. As long as it does start you can let the car warm up a few minutes before driving off. If your car drives rough and unresponsive on the days it starts badly but feels good after a while driving it's almost certainly this. While it's rough you won't get a sharp acceleration which is why you should let it warm up...might expect a quick spurt of power that doesn't come when you need it! Best to get it fixed before long though as poor starting does hammer the battery and if you 'flatten' it the car won't start at all on the key. The engine itself is probably fine so we're not looking at a big money fix. If it's a diesel you'll need another reply. Don't know why they start badly.
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I have this issue with my step-brother and it's kinda complicated. Basically, when we met at the ages of 7 (me) and 9 (him) we hated each other. Then as we got older we became friends. Then when I was 14 and he was 16 our relationship changed as we became more touchy feely, so fights which used to be all about injuring each other just became about having fun Then we started cuddling during said fights, if we got tired. It's not like we grew up together since I only saw him every couple of weekends when I would visit my dad. So when I was 14 I had this huge crush on him and I thought that maybe he liked me back, since the way we would treat each other was definitely not one I would treat my siblings in and I'm certain he wouldn't treat them in the saw way either. However he got a girlfriend so I backed off. He later found out I liked him but he was totally cool with it. He said he'd still do anything for me and that it didn't change anything. Then in February this year, when I was 16 and was 18, he and his girlfriend of 1 1/2 years split and he and I got really close again. We'd talk on Facebook a lot but then he started making really suggestive comments and hinting about kissing me. In March whilst at my Dad's house he and I ended up hanging out together. He began teasing me that I wanted him, and then I went off on a rant about how I didn't. Mid-rant he kissed me. He was my first kiss and he knew that too. I know at 16 maybe that's kinda lame that I've never been kissed but I was waiting for the right guy and then he kissed me which is so messed up. At the time he said that it meant nothing and that it was only to prove a point, but then after that every Sunday when I would visit my dad, me and my step-brother would end up hooking up, each time going further and further (last weekend we go to third base). It was totally different to the other times as when he touched me face to bring me in to kiss him his hand was shaking, he told me he missed me, there was no fighting before hand when there usually is, he'd kiss my cheek while we would just be cuddling, after he'd 'gone down on me' he kept worrying about whether I was okay or not, he even started eskimo kissing me at one point... but now it's really complicated because feelings aren't supposed to be involved but I think maybe they are :/ which once again, is so messed up
because it was just supposed to be for fun. I wasn't supposed to end up having feelings for him. He's my step-brother, none of this was ever supposed to happen. My friends know about it and they're all encouraging of it. And my family on my mom's side know I used to have a crush on him and they were okay with it then. However I highly doubt he has feelings for me, and if he did it's not like it could go anyway. On the one hand I don't want this thing to stop because I enjoy it but on the other hand I know that if it continues my feelings will just get stronger, we'll end up having sex and ultimately I will be the one who ends up hurt. So my questions are; Is any of this okay? What do I do now? Do you think he has feelings for me? How do I go about doing whatever it is I'm supposed to do next? (link)
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Hi there. You're in a real storm of emotions here by the sound of it. Both of you. Strong feelings on both sides NOW from what you've written, not the possibility of them coming in the future. The relationship is not in any way incestuous of course. So there's no ethical, moral or legal entailment whatsoever. He's the son of a guy your mum is in a relationship with...there's no bloodline at all. Family 'dynamics' (just meaning the way you all interact with each other) may or may not be a problem. This depends entirely on the true feelings of each person involved. Sometimes it's not all it appears. An adult may for example let things ride, feeling that it'll probably pass and making a fuss is likely to make you more determined to pursue a course of action they'd rather you did not pursue. The general 'atmosphere' when the subject comes up is probably your best measure. Can't answer this as easily as the 'genetic' side, which is clear-cut. But parental approval is not guaranteed WHOEVER your boyfriend might be, particularly at sixteen. The thing that strikes me most is the feeling you seem to have that you WILL end up 'hurt'? Might ask you why that is? Boyfriends don't come with guarantees, whoever they are. Do you doubt that he has ANY long-term intent to commit to you? Or is it that you feel those 'family dynamics' will force you apart against both your wishes? Of course, there's nothing at all wrong with a no-strings, no big plans 'physical only' relationship at your ages. You'd probably be 'testing the water' as you might say with someone at 16, and at least he's a guy you know very well and trust. (If not trust to commit to you as a partner, then you trust him to treat you with the full respect you deserve as a woman). It's a long, well-written question from you. You're not 'crashing about' in blind ignorance. Afraid there's no way I can predict the path things will take, let alone the outcome. But how often can ANY of us do THAT about ANYTHING?? All I can say for sure is this. Neither of you are doing anything wrong. Hope I may have helped a little. As for the question about feelings...if a blokes hand shakes when he's about to kiss you, believe me there's some strong feelings indeed within him, at least in that moment. You CANNOT fake that 'tremor'. But it feels bloody amazing when it just happens, I can tell you that!! There's also another clear signal here that I feel sure you've picked up on already. The attention and tenderness he shows you AFTER the physical 'act' you describe (help me out here...don't want to be too graphic about your personal pleasures...you know what I mean!) It's a very strong message that a guy feels a lot more than simply the need to 'satisfy his urges' with you. Clear 'bonding' body language...saying "I'm going to stay around" loud and clear to a woman who knows how to 'listen' to it. Honestly, even though the guy may well not consciously 'know he's saying it'. Best wishes, and hope you make the right choices for the right reasons.
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Hi,
I'll get straight to it. I can't keep "it" up.
I'm attracted to this girl, and every time we do it, I can get it up. And everything will be fine for the most part. To stop me finishing too early, I seem to keep stopping and starting. So I will continue, and like I said, everything will be fine. But then, I will go soft. And I'll try to get it up again, but I can't. I try to put it in, but It'll flop right back out again.
And it get's me really frustrated. I thought it was because of smoking, so I stopped. But it still happens. I'm comfortable around the girl, and she's given me the whole "You know I like you, even if you can't finish?" and it just feels patronizing - even though I know she means it.
So yes, I'm pretty sure I could sustain it if I were to finish early - but I want it to be good for her too, and so I don't.
Anything I can do or try?
Thanks! (link)
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Aged 20, assuming no underlying health problem (diabetes?) it's unlikely to be a physical problem. Heavy smoking for a long time could cause damage to all-important blood vessels and arteries (as blood flow = erection). But I doubt you'll have smoked long enough at 20..and it's not an inevitable consequence of smoking anyway. Do you feel physically fit? Generally in good nick? Not preoccupied with work or personal stresses anxieties? Not insecure in your relationship with her? Negative answers to these can affect a blokes performance at any time of life. If any apply, you know where to start looking for a solution. The fact that you do 'get it up' further decreases the likelhihood of physical problems. You might be in a bit of a 'vicious circle' of failiure if it's happened a few more times than you'd like. You expect to lose your erection, so you lose your erection, which builds up the expectation that it will 'fail' again next time...and so on. How about agreeing this course of action for a while? You pleasure your lady without penetrating her (total winner if she enjoys oral and you like giving!). Then start, and as soon as you feel the urge to finish-off...go with it. No trying to delay it. And make a fuss of her afterwards if she needs/wants you to. Until you're into a 'virtuous circle' of getting excited over her, and climaxing with her. Then start to increase the time you're inside her...SLOWLY. Each time your confidence will grow..you'll start to feel more in control of the situation. Fears of it 'going floppy' get less. If you do feel that it's about to fail, let yourself go this time, straight away...before the fear of failure can 'get a foot-hold' again. And go BACK a step or two next time. Hopefully you'll both be enjoying some long and pleasurable sessions quite soon, which will repay the effort. Confidence makes hard things easy, and lack of it makes easy things seem difficult. With sex, as with an aful lot of things. Have fun. And yes, a woman who says nice things...however sincerely will feel patronising to a bloke in these circumstances. Shows her heart's in the right place though, so you be patient with her...and 'understand back' as you might say? It's reckoned that about 60% of blokes will at some time in their life have a spell of not getting or keeping it up as well as they want. 60& means every other one of us in effect. More often than not it's when that old 'black dog' of stress/anxiety/mild depression has got hold of us. If there's something really on your mind you will find it all comes back to you perfectly when it's 'sorted' and you're more 'yourself' again. Which I appreciate may be difficult, depending on the cause of the stress and how hard it is to remove it. Can a tough long-term contract/assignment/client etc at work mean your desire goes a bit cool when you're not even AT work? When you're loving your pretty girlfriend? I'm afraid, yes it can. And does sometimes. What it's NOT is a slur on your 'manhood' or a reflection of how desirable and sexy your partner is. The last bit, you might like to reassure her with if she seems to get a bit 'touchy'. Best wishes.
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My mind is all over, i keep thinking of the hiv all the time, its been going on for a year now and seem to disbelieve all the results because im having these symptoms, im beginning tothink they are wrong, your right in saying i need counselling which im going next week to a clinic to see counsellor who deals with hiv/aids hope that they can help me. What you have said is correct and i should think 6 tests cant be wrong. Do you know what the test for hiv consists of after they take your blood , apart from elisa is there any similar tests. (link)
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Hi. I'm afraid that I don't know the precise nature of the tests, you'd need a laboratory technician to help here. And probably a degree in biology or chemistry to understand their explanation! The symptoms seem to be the stumbling block. But HIV doesn't have a unique or specific symptom or set of symptoms. And as we discussed, many are shared with stress and anxiety. Sure, we could take a symptom and pin 'HIV' on it...easily,when that's what we're looking to pin on it. And confirm our darkest dread. I don't say medical 'self-diagnosis' sources such as websites are of no use or help. But they can certainly fuel a lot of needless anxiety and many a wrong diagnosis. The idea of looking for a 'different test' is understandable. Since the tests so far have failed to come up with the result you paradoxically, and sub-consciously 'want'....the Positive result that will confirm your belief. We like our beliefs reinforced, not knocked down. Think about this idea for a while and try hard to see what I'm saying? HIV/AIDS counselling is really more about trying to make the individual come to terms with living with this dreadful, and incurable condition. You in effect, seem to need help coming to terms with NOT being HIV+. For sure, your mind's in a 'loop' but breaking these 'neural paths' is possible. It might be a good idea to identify some possible causes for your mindset yourself. You mentioned being exposed to the virus...which (excluding 'shared needles' among intravenous drug-users, which you don't mention) inevitably means a sexual relationship with a partner who is HIV+ and was so at the time. Is there some 'guilt' here? Why are they effectively 'condemned' while you escape? You really ought to be too...is this 'fair'? The nearest analogy I can make is the feeling frontline soldiers often succumb to when comrades are killed in battle, while they live. An intense feeling of guilt. 'It should have been me...' I assume you must have had/have feelings for the other person? A 'fear of infection' is also not uncommon. From childhood, or a much later experience. A feeling that a bacteria or virus is sort of pursuing you, waiting for it's chance. Threats everywhere! Many of us have waves of hypochondria, to varying degrees, when our health is in question. These sort of ideas are really what a counsellor should be going through with you. He or she will have instant feedback from you. Until you clearly identify the cause, it is virtually impossible to start finding solutions and 'move on'. Possibly a rigorous scientific explanation of the test procedure would help, possibly not. It's quite easy to 'wish-up' a loophole. They might have mixed the samples up, you got someone elses result...six times in succession. How could that defeat ANY assurance of the reliability and accuracy of the test? I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this...the very idea has maybe crossed your mind many times? I sincerely hope you reasonably quickly find a way out of this mindset. In brief...you mentally and/or emotionally NEED these results to be wrong in order to fulfil, confirm or justify some other aspect of yourself. To make everything neatly tied-up and decided. To make things 'right'. Find out precisely why you feel that you HAVE TO BE HIV+ and you'll start to move on. Best wishes.
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Don't get me wrong, I don't care. Sex is sex, I like it, I like being with multiple guys, and if you don't include my gangbang fantasies, I'm really not that much of a slut, ya know? I've always been really sexual though, I watch porn when I'm bored, and whatnot. I lost my virginity at a whopping 14(with a couple), and have slept with 13 people since then. I've always been known to make really fucking bad decisions, hence why I got raped. It wouldn't bother me that much, if it weren't for the fact I'm like 2 people. My main brain being like, normal, and my pussys brain being like... stupid. I have a boyfriend I love very much, but the urges to watch porn(and 80% of his friends wanting to bang me) makes it hard. I cheated on my last bf and I hated myself for it. I'm 17, I love my boyfriend, and unless I'm single, I want this to stop. I just want to shut my pussy off. I don't mind being like that if I don't have a bf, but otherwise, its bothersome. If he had sex with me more, maybe it would be different... but he doesn't, Heh. My brain wants a relationship, but everything else want sex. I... honestly don't know what to do, Heh. (link)
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Like Santos, I'm not sure what the question is either! There is an age-old debate as to whether enjoying life means having many desires and fulfilling them to the max. If not you might as well be 'a rock or a stone.' instead of a human. Be slave to nobody, even yourself, that's how to be happy and live a great life. It's the only way to be. The argument is that by living this life you do not inded become free or happy. True, you are slave to nobody, even yourself. You indulge yourself in every whim and desire. But do you not become a slave to THE DESIRE WITHIN YOURSELF? Unable to control it? So isn't a degree of self-control likely to bring about a more contented, undisturbed life rather than devoting so much time and energy fulfilling every desire, which you can see can NEVER be fully satisfied...or you 'live like a stone' again. Any help. Not my original idea I'm afraid. I'm not THAT good...pinched it from the argument between Socrates & Callicles, two Greek philosophers. Callicles was the 'pleasure seeker' and Socrates suggested some 'moderation and self control'. Callicles KNEW that the desires couldn't actually BE satisfied once and for all, and wanted it that way...that was part of their appeal. The constant attempt to satisfy was what 'living' was all about. Socrates basically said that you'll just wear yourself out trying and be no more fulfilled than the man (or woman in your case) who governs his/her desires a little more, and is more moderate. Otherwise the desires themselves WILL rule your life, worse than any master could. They WERE discussing sex too, amongst other desires...nothing new in this world, eh?? ps...Socates basically 'won' this argument, but it's your life. Maybe you favour the view of Callicles? You decide!
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Thanks for your reply.
After this many tests would you detect evrn s trace from my exposure (link)
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To my very best knowledge you either have the virus (HIV positive) or you do not (HIV negative) and there is no in between. When diagnosed one has to immediately start an intensive regime of drugs to prevent, or more accurately 'delay' it's development into full blown AIDS, as there is of course no cure, just a form of 'control' from drugs which will extend the life of the person, hopefully for quite a good length of time. While an instant test after exposure MIGHT fail to detect it's presence, a retest in three months would certainly have detected it, which is why a second test might be advised. Being so serious an issue, huge amounts of research and collection of information has, and is being devoted to HIV. I think I can see your worry. It's 'in you' giving you the symptoms but not developed enough to be detected yet? It might show up in the NEXT test? This is NOT in the nature of the virus. There may be the symptoms you descibe when the virus enters the body and the viral load is high. After about two weeks you have NO SIGNIFCANT SYMPTOMS (which is what makes it so dangerous, nobody, not even yourself knows you have it...UNLESS you are tested). Uncontrolled it develops into full-blown AIDS and you go VERY rapidly downhill, and no drugs can really do a thing for you at this end-stage. But ANY TIME after at most a month, the virus will be detectable by a test. I promise you. You can have it and not know it, or outwardly show it in any way, but the test WILL show it. After six negative tests I think you should accept that you ARE INDEED HIV NEGATIVE. I should try and think of this as a wake-up call, a very fortunate escape and move on wiser. HIV is no respecter of persons or lifestyles, age or sexual orientation. Best wishes mate...I suppose what I'm saying by a long route is that you CANNOT be 'a bit HIV' or be harbouring the virus without it showing in your blood. In the early days a few very unfortunate people were infected via transfusions of blood carrying the virus. the screening/testing procedure quickly sorted it's act out...had to. Now we are superb at detecting it, working hard to limit it's spread, but sadly no nearer curing it.
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I tested hiv negative on march 20th 2013, after exposing myself to hiv last april 27th 2012, i have was being sick, vomiting mucus and having aches pains, high temp for about 1 week if i remembet correctly last late april beginning of may, this was at home, did not go to hospital, sludgy diahorrea and a lot of trapped wind. Since then i have had hiv test in may 2012 , june 2012, august 2012, october 2012, november 2012, jan 2013, and my last one 25th march 2013 athis was using blood from my arm, what tests are the ones ive had and when they were negative, showing no hiv antibodies, are they accurate and am i definately hiv/aids negative? i still have a neck rash little clear bumps and reddy marks. My tongue still has 4 ulcers in the centre at back of.tongue, my dry cough and dry eyes are still with me, the clinic said to me that i should have been assurrd afyer 3 months window, but as you can see ive had 6 tests over 10 month now its coming close to a year, am i hiv negative or should i be worried still because of some symptoms. I had anal and oral sex last year (link)
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You seem to have had EVERY symptom associated with the virus entering your body here. Usually 1 or 2 are common, possibly so mild they're hardly noticeable. But mate, a blood test is a blood test and when they're checking for one particular result, and you've had six in nearly a year...I think you can safely say you're NEGATIVE! The 3 month retest is of course very valid. But the virus can't 'lay dormant' as it were in you and evade tests after the initial period. A lot of these symptoms are comensurate with extreme stress and anxiety...which it sounds like you've had PLENTY of. Sickness. diahorrea, muscle fatigue. Tick all the boxes! Except high temperature/fever. Maybe you just had flu? You'd be amazed how stress gives so many people that dry (nervous) cough. Mouth ulcers set about you when you're below par and run down. There are 'pyschosomatic' symptoms of course. A scare like a SARS outbreak sees many people actually 'getting' all the symptoms for example. And the tight chest and trouble breathing could of course be the virus, or a good old anxiety/panic attack. Now knowing you were exposed to such a significant virus as HIV must have chilled you to the core, it would anyone. But you've got all the results in black and white. Six messed-up results is stretching credibility way too far. They're pro's you know...and they've got all the kit! Thoughts that you are somehow 'the exception to medical science' are a 'symptom' themselves. A symptom of how the experience has thrown your rationale and reason right 'off balance'. You'll get your thinking back on track. Try to move on, and if you could bag a counsellor for a good old chat it might make things easier. Good luck. And for a bit of stone-cold logic, think about how many millions of pints of blood are used in hospitals in the industrialised western countries. And how devastating 'mistakes' in screening that bllod for HIV would be. They can't afford to make mistakes.
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Hi i hard sex with my mom elder brother daughter and since then i haven't been with my normal sense.. please will God ever forgive me for this cos its never going to happen again and i did this out of drunk... please am wating for an answer... thank you all (link)
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I'm sure that makes her your cousin too, rather than your sister. Deliberately entering into an incestuous RELATIONSHIP, even where it is two consenting adults is of course unnacceptable. A mistake on the other hand, is a mistake. And there's nothing quite like the booze for making us lose control and make a bad idea sound reasonable is there? It sounds to me like you're beating yourself up and punishing yourself far more than any god EVER could. It's passed. And it is not by reflecting on the past that we become wise, but how we use the knowledge gained to shape our future. Have you spoken to the lady in question since? I think a real up-front discussion would help you both put it in perspective. Clear the air, and clear your minds maybe? Good luck, and take it easy on yourself. We ALL make mistakes.
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Hello, I am a 14 year old girl and I masturbate. As imbarrased as I may be, this could be serious. Last night I was masturbating with 2 fingers. I played around a bit and when I pulled them out, I notices a little blood. I then took a wet wipe and put it in to see how much blood there was. Not much, but enough to make me worry. It was a light red color and yes, I am still a virgin. I am worried that I hurt something because I was a bit rough. Please help I'm scared! (link)
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Hi there. Firstly, masturbating a little energetically with two fingers is really not going to have done you any proper damage or hurt anything. Of course, you ladies have your hymen, or your 'cherry' and it's quite possible that yours isn't now intact, and the 'tearing' of it would account for a little blood. Seeing blood is always a bit scary for any person. So let's assume you have. Well, really when you relax and take a good look at it, it's really not the end of the world. Not even close. It can break at any time, perhaps doing some energetic sports, horseriding is an 'old offender' too. The number of girls who do 'pop their cherry' while pleasuring themselves is large. Some quite deliberately, some accidentally. Add to that a 'first proper boyfriend' who's a little bit eager, clumsy or both while 'fingering'.You are perfectly entitled to say you're 'still a virgin' in any of these cases. And when you choose the guy you first feel happy and comfortable about having sex with, he'll be the one who breaks your virginity, in the only meaningful sense of the word. There's nothing whatsoever to be scared about mate. And the urge and need to release some of that pent-up sexual tension that you'll certainly feel at fourteen is perfectly natural and normal, so you haven't 'spoiled everything' by being a bit too eager, or any nonsense like that, by any means. It's just a healthy young woman's needs, which you satisfy in the usual way and enjoy doing it. I can undertand that 'losing your virginity' is significant, a big issue for a girl. But believe me, you HAVEN'T done it!! Just torn a small 'film' of tissue that doesn't actually 'do' anything. Which isn't really too much to be scared about, is it? There's a basis to the idea you're feeling. If a girl who's hymen is intact has full, penetrative sex with her boyfriend, she loses her virginity and her hymen will be torn. But the torn hymen itself is not what it pivots on, the point is she's had full, penetrative sex...one doesn't equal the other. Obviously, you won't want to be using any sort of unsuitable object to enhance your pleasure while masturbating, roughness or sharp edges could indeed 'graze' or even cut slightly inside you, which would be uncomfortable, and possibly serious. Fingers...fine. Two? No problem! Objects sold by reputable manufacturers as sex-aids are perfectly safe all round of course, anything else is taking a bit of a silly risk. Have fun, and don't worry.
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what is ovulation? or ovucalation? i dont know how its spelled, sorry. (link)
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The opposite side of your menstrual cycle to menstruation (when the unfertilised eggs, which are technically called 'ova' die away and you have your period). Ovulation is when those are released and 'ready'. A woman 'trying for a baby' might like to precisely identify that point, and there are techniques which can be used to do just that. And because it's driven by an increase in certain hormones, some women find they feel a bit more horny and flirty when they are, and basically wanting to 'display' a bit for the guys. Human behaviourists like to study this kind of thing, but it's quite subtle, you don't become a sex maniac or anything. Still, if you find yourself feeling a bit 'extra sexy' for a spell each month, it's quite probably when YOU are ovulating. Your 'sexy and flirty hormones' as you might call them take a proper nosedive as the eggs die off , which they do if you haven't become pregnany, (ie most months of your life!) . That explains why you might feel a bit moody and touchy just before your period. All sorted??
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so i was giving my bf oral and he pre cummed . so he wiped most of it off with his hand and we had unprotected for about a minite and he pulled out and he had actual c*m come out a minute ir two after my pants were up .
is there a possibility im pregnant ? (link)
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Hi there. Keep calm and get a test kit, use it just like the instructions say, exactly. So you don't get a wrong answer. Now from what you've said he didn't fully ejaculate until he was well and truly outside and your pants were back up? OK...precum can contain sperm...but you're in a much better position than had he actually ejaculated inside you. The odds are that you won't be pregnant, but the test is the last word on the subject and the only one that counts. I wish you well, you'd be VERY unlucky if what you say is exactly what happened. But now's a good time to think about how close he came to actually ejaculating fully inside you, don't you think? Matter of seconds maybe? Look, 'pulling out before he cums' just IS NOT proper birth control mate, is it? Younger lads can climax so quickly, can't hold it. And will tend to 'cum' strongly, and there's usually a fair bit of it too. You really don't want him 'inside you' at all without protection, even for a minute. How hard is it to use a condom? And think of the advantages. You'll be able to relax and properly enjoy sex with your boyfriend. You won't have this worry hanging over you afterwards getting you stressed out and worried. Of course, oral sex and handjobs carry zero pregnancy risk. If you find yourselves getting seriously horny and you just haven't GOT a condom you should agree some non-penetrative pleasuring this time. Isn't that a much safer bet? Really, the fact that you didn't plan sex, it 'just happened' isn't going to protect you one bit from an unwanted pregnancy is it? If he cums inside you, you've done EVERYTHING you have to to make pregnancy a possibility. Do the test...and maybe post a reply to the site if you're OK? As I'm sure we've all got our fingers crossed for you mate! First impulse is that you probably didn't do quite enough, but I can't possibly assure you in any way that this is correct. And if it's fine, think about what you're doing next time, eh? Best wishes.
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i am 13/m, and i would want to know more ways to masturbate instead of always just jerking off. Can any of you help me?
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I'm afraid us guys are rather limited in this respect, more so than girls (who have a much wider range of options). All our bits, well...the only bit really...is right there, on the outside. And only the head is really sensitive. We just basically simulate the action and movement that having sex would create. There's not really anything else you CAN do as a guy. If you usually find it's a bit of a 'race' to get it all out, as you might say...you could try seeing how long you can NOT ejaculate...slowing down when you feel it's about to come. It can make for a pleasingly 'stronger' climax when you do finish. And if you can 'learn' to delay things this way during actual sex...it'll help keep girlfriends happier too. They quite often think we finish way before they're ready! About all I can come up with mate. We haven't really got an extra club in the bag.
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How do i kno whether my bf has ejaculated when we have sex (link)
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Do you mean when, or whether? When he stops thrusting and just presses firmly against you for several seconds is WHEN. And it should be pretty obvious really, when he's finishing-off. Whether? Well if you're using a condom (which I strongly suspect YOU should be from your question), his semen will be clearly visible inside it. With unprotected sex, even if you don't exactly 'feel' much, some will 'make it's way out' (sorry if that sounds a bit gross) soon after you've finished having sex. Really, with guys, assume we ARE going to, and HAVE ejaculated. Unless a strong case of nerves/anxiety means he loses his erection and has to stop (does happen sometimes, much to our embarrassment!). And unprotected sex is really NOT an option, so if you're not using some form of birth control yourself, then he MUST use a condom, properly, all the way through and every time you have sex.
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I am a 32 yr old female who has always had very intense orgasms. I have recently become interested in the idea of squirting and have tried with much advice to do this but never successful. I have very good vaginal muscles and my partner and I have notice that during orgasm my vaginal walls clinch very hard. I can however push just as hard when this happens at will, my body naturally tightens though. I have on many occasions pushed rather than clinched and still nothing. I always feel the urge to pee and I always have to go afterwards. The orgasms are always very intense. What should I do differently? (link)
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Hi there. A woman may well find herself very wet during and after climax. But let's cut to the chase. If by any chance you're judging your performance against certain adult/pornographic scenes and stills...it's 'the urban myth'...sorry but it's true. Research further if you wish, but you'll find the only organ in a womans body capable of releasing anything in the quantities seen in adult/porn scenes is the bladder. The actress/model drinks an awful lot of usually sweet sugary drinks and then water, and you've probably guessed now what they're actually doing. It might indeed be very pleasurable if that's your thing. But I think you should be clear about what actually is going to 'come out'. Doing it while you genuinely climax might be tricky, because of the 'push vs. pull' and tense/release thing you mention. But again, the accompanying (or indeed any) climax in porn isn't (usually) the real thing either. Which is surely why many frustrated teenaged girls write in to say their orgasms are a bit of a let down, and how can they do it better? Bottom line is, it's the scene director and the model's 'money shot' but it's not going to happen naturally. And it's plain old pee, not some mysterious fluid. There's not actually anything in our bodies that's a 'mystery' to medical science. Have fun...but keep it real!
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I'm thinking of making a new religion, just to see if it catches on at all, and what people think. Got any ideas? I want something weird, but not too weird. Something about as odd as christianity. I, personally, am an atheist, but I enjoy messing with people. Also, I'm 13, so take into consideration my limited resources and impact. (link)
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When it comes to crackpot mysticism and sprirtual belief systems that seem to have been made up by someone for a laugh or to mess with minds...I'm pretty sure the world's got QUITE enough of these already, aren't you mate? I think you'll have a job finding a 'niche'...most of your target market have got one they're perfectly happy with already!!
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This is a question of what you think of my craziness. Everyone is insanne, because we all see different things from the same things. Our ears turn noise into something comprehensible. Maybe, what each of us hear from the same thing is different. Same for seeing. In turn, what I hear or see happening is based on what I think I said or did. So, in a way, we are all living in our own little fantasy. There's no way for me to even know your real opinion, because you could think I'm saying something totally different than I am. I just see the words, and, from what my brain says I typed, I interpret what anyone would say back. So in a way, we are all completely alone. By the way, I'm 13, so excuse my oddness for being a teenager, and hormones, or whatever people say. I don't see why knowing that I'm a girl would help you in telling you my thoughts, but who knows, right? (link)
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You're not crazy, you're pondering 'existence' and following the path of many of the great names in western philosophy. Which we could spend a long time discussing. And you're on the right path, even if it's a path that many never step on. If you and I looked at the fields and trees, and then a sunset, no there is no way of knowing if the clours for example, that you see are 'the same' as the colours I see. But so long as there is an 'agreed' dialogue, meaning we both call the grass 'green' and we both call the sunset sky 'red' we get along fine. But if 'your' red is 'my red' who indeed will ever know? Sounds are indeed just wave disturbances in air, and NOT sounds until our ear, or some sort of sound sensitive device like a microphone receives them. Begging the question, if a tree falls in the middle of a large empty forest...does it make a sound?? Is ANYTHING there until we look for it? And does our observation itself influence it.. would it be the same if we didn't look at it? And clearly a chair for example is not a chair simply because we put the 'word-label' chair on it. The word label 'chair' is entirely meaningless, and adds or subtracts nothing from the object. By and large, we're looking at the conflict between two different worlds. The physical world of form and objects, and the intellectual world of ideas. Now you can't 'put a real, physical chair inside your brain'...obviously. But neither can you sit on 'the idea of a chair'!! There is clearly a very real 'bridge' between the two worlds. And the precise nature of this bridge has baffled great thinkers for a long time. And I'm afraid there is no definitive answer, no fully explained cause. The world of human biology/medicine has no unarguable answer either, and pondering it at all is mostly left to the philiosopher. Holding one thought in your mind is while expressing another is one very good reason why nobody has ever been able to expound a 'philosophy of language' with the precision a mathematician or physicist can present his equations, theories and laws. Bertrand Russell had a very good go I believe, but it's easy to defeat. For example, there is nothing grammatically 'wrong' in the statement. "The present King of France has a beard". It fulfils all the required 'laws' and can have it's 'truth values' (Positive if he has a beard, negative if he's clean shaven). Apart from there IS NO King of France! So were applying all the laws to a 'premise' (or 'basic idea' if you prefer) which is non-existent!! And think about saying 'Macbeth killed the Banquo'. Now the world has NEVER held the persons named 'Macbeth' or 'Banquo' (who are characters in a Shakespeare play) so he couldn't have killed, or not killed the Banquo. There was never 'Banquo' either! Yet the statement is flawless! His 'imaginary lawyer' could argue it's truth. If you like pondering stuff like this you might want to look at Plato for the world of forms and ideas, Wittgenstein and Schroedinger for the language and observation stuff, and for a modern take on 'existence' in general, Jean-Paul Sartre. If you want me to say it's all 'teens and hormones'....wrong!! There's a lot more to it than that! So we are all alone in essence, and the only existence we can vouch for with any true certainty is our own. How? The fact that you are pondering questions about your existence PROVES that whatever else may be illusion, YOU exist. The unarguable "cogito, ergo sum". Which simply means 'I think...therefore I AM.' Which was Descartes...who you can add to your list of seriously heavy philosophers! And by the way, if I walked up to you and said. 'You're a girl' that does not of course MAKE you a girl. But it's at least one area where the there is a little mathematical precision in perception. Namely that the idea of a girl is a girl...and ONLY a girl. It cannot be applied to anything other than a girl. And the fact that 'You are NOT a boy' is the only argument I need to qualify it to my satisfaction. I can happily put you in the 'set' of 'things in the world which posess 'girlness' and are 'girls'. I'm talking to you, so I can talk to 'a girl'...but clearly I cannot talk to 'girl'...which is the name of the set. Just like you could own a dog...but you can't own 'dog'. Your observations are indeed influenced by your thoughts. Imagine you walked past a guy sitting on a bench on your way to school, and saw him there at the same time next day, and the next. (To avoid the 'easy' answer...he's dressed exactly the same!) Do you assume he HASN'T LEFT the bench, he's been there all the time? It's unlikely you'll think that. Yet everything you've seen confirms that he HASN'T BEEN AWAY. You have NOTHING to 'prove' otherwise. So why is the thought that he's been sitting there all the time rather ridiculous? Because you understand the way humans work. He couldn't have not moved. He'd have to go and eat, go and have a pee...etc. And anyway...humans just DON'T BEHAVE like that! Would an alien from another world have that knowledge of human behaviour? To be sure the man left, he would have to observe him leaving, observe his return. There could be no intuitive knowlegde for our alien visitor. (ps No, I'm NOT saying there are aliens from other worlds...it's a hypothetical argument!). Are you more, or less confused now than before you asked this question?? Is there a 'philosopher' in you? I'd start by reading a bit of Sartre in my spare time if there is, he's an entertaining writer, and his works are in the story/play style. Far less heavy-going than Wittgenstein!
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I am 13, female. Lately, my mom has started to think any disorder that even slightly matches my perssonality is something I have. Last week, it was Asperger's Syndrome, and now she thinks I am a sociopth. I am callous, unfeeling, bookish, a nerd, and socially awkward. I like routine. I have odd beliefs, such as everyone being insane. I tell my parents very little without being provoked. I don't understand normal people, or why anyone would want to be normal. I have few friends and avoid social situations. I overthink things, mainly because I never stop thinking, except while sleeping. I enjoy the comfort of routine and the logic of science, and daedal, descriptive use of words. I obsess over a concept for a month at most, and, extinguishing my resources move on. Conversatin, with me, is often one-sided or nonexistant. I often spout random facts, mistaking what I am nterested in as normal behavior and conversation. I am an atheist, but I often ask myself how the universe was created and what created the source of creation. You can point out my mistakes, what I did wrong, but I am never wrong. Learning is fun for me, but joy, sadness, fear, embarassment are all lost to me, both in understanding and possession. What I ask is, what do you believe is wrong with me? (link)
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Reading this well-structured, intelligent piece of self-analysis, nicely...even entertainingly written, I'm tempted so say there's NOTHING much wrong with you at all. You seem to have a remarkably well-developed, self-sufficient and self-reliant outlook for a girl of thirteen, where peer-pressure, embarrassmnet and the need to conform to a stereotype can often (usually!) be the default option. And that's about it! I feel it's unlikely that you're QUITE the emotional-void you might feel like at the moment, they're part and parcel of even the coldest, logical intellect as and when required. And yours will be 'tapped' at the proper times too. Though I doubt you'll ever 'gush' it! You're pretty RARE I'd say, but nothing wrong. I'd start practicing writing BSc (Hons) or D.Phil. after your name right about NOW if I were you...sounds like just a matter of time! And try not to intellectually destroy your mates too often in discussions...or they won't like it. There's a hope and humanity in honest mistakes that is sometimes lacking in icy perfection. Good luck...if you feel such a superstitious bit of voodoo like luck is appropriate!! ps. On the 'universe, question, if you take the 'infinite' argument then you cannot simply (and wrongly) understand infinity as being 'very big', or 'very old'. The concept means 'existing BEYOND THE BOUNDS of time or distance'. So there was NO 'before'... there can be NO 'after' and there can be NOTHING 'outside' of infinity. (Infinity + 1 = Infinity. And Infinity + 10000000 still only = Infinity and so on....). If indeed the universe IS infinite, it was BORN infinite and the idea of ANYTHING being before or after or outside of is non-causal and impossible. Now you can get some sleep instead of thrashing that one out!!
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I'm a 13 year old girl and the first time I masturbated it was great.after that I never felt anything again except for a little bit a month later. All my friends do it all the time and say its great.ive tried everything. What's wrong with me? (link)
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Relax young Miss! You're perfectly normal. Nothing 'wrong' at all. And you're friends who seem to be enjoying it much more frequently and discussing it...they're perfectly normal too! There's not a right or wrong amount to do it. It's for when you feel the urge or need (and are somewhere private of course!) Enjoy it when it comes along, don't stress and try to 'make it happen' if it doesn't for a bit. If it's a case of wanting to do it alright, but it's not quite 'happening' to your satisfaction when you try, how about a bit of a 'woman-to-woman chat', as it were with your closest girl friend and see if she can suggest some tips techniques that work for her? Where, for how long...that kind of thing? One pretty sure way of putting the dampers, so to speak, on your enjoyment is WORRYING about it. You're clearly not hung-up about the idea of doing, not got a silly idea that it's 'wrong' in some way. And you've had one good result already. All of which is excellent news. So I'm temted so say, relax mate...it'll all happen for you too. OK?
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I'm 15/f and I have recently gotten a vibrator, my older sister who is kind of immature and doesn't know that no means no was bugging to buy it off me or have it and I kept saying no, then she eventually stopped bugging me. I didn't use it for a while when I first got it and a couple days later she took it without permission and used it, then she told me so of course I got mad because it was my personal item. I didn't go to a store and buy it myself and I'm too embarrassed because I'm young, but I want a vibrator that I can use. Would the vibrator be fine if I cleaned it really good? I never got the chance to use it yet and it really ticked me off that she would just go and use it anyways, she only used it one time then gave it back to me but I wouldn't use it because she did and I'm unsure if it's safe to use if it's cleaned. (link)
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Hi there. Obviously it's a personal item, because it's being used very 'personally'. A wash in warm soapy water, then a good clean with something like Milton (or any sterilising fluid used to clean baby items), dri it off and you're OK. As you've used alcohol (or surgical spirit) I'd say you're CLINICALLY safe here! And you'll have a good knowlegde of your sisters personal habits, no doubt? Obviously it'd be nicer if you had one each, and it probably feels a bit 'odd' that you're sharing one, so to speak? But it doesn't have to be destroyed once your sis has enjoyed it...it's not like a hypodermic needle in a syringe or anything of that order (which are never used twice by any person, let alone shared!). In a way, it's a bit like a woman saying she'll never have intercourse with a guy who has had sex with any other woman if you think about it, isn't it? How impossible would that be once you're 20-something?? A good clean after you've used any sort of sex aid yourself is a basic hygeine thing really. And no woman would really want to buy a random 'second-hand' one of course. It'd FEEL a bit 'iffy' hwever much you cleaned it, eh?? I'm certain you can enjoy YOURS in perfect safety. And try and tell her you'd rather she didn't share it, and if the temptation gets a bit much, and she 'borrows' it...tell you, and make sure it's left spotlessly clean and fresh. Vibrators are often used a little more externally, than internally. But even if she's inserted it quite (even very!) deeply, everything we've said holds true. I wasn't assuming she hadn't. Full SP? Ideas of sexually transmitted infections can be a worry. But we're talking 'the exchange of live, fresh body fluids' here in most cases. Milder 'fungal' (like thrush) infections COULD be passed by sharing an unwashed sex aid. But the fungus (called candida) is in our bodies all the time ANYWAY, and kept naturally 'in check' when you're normally fit and healthy. Thrush (sore, a bit red and itchy or burning feeling 'down there') comes about when the candida fungus gets a bit out of control. Non prescription creams sort it out with ease. And it's only partly a sexually transmitted infection at all, it can happen for any number of reasons, many of them not actually related to sex or penetration of yourself in any way. Feel better? Hope so.
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