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What should I do about my Step-Brother?
I have this issue with my step-brother and it's kinda complicated. Basically, when we met at the ages of 7 (me) and 9 (him) we hated each other. Then as we got older we became friends. Then when I was 14 and he was 16 our relationship changed as we became more touchy feely, so fights which used to be all about injuring each other just became about having fun Then we started cuddling during said fights, if we got tired. It's not like we grew up together since I only saw him every couple of weekends when I would visit my dad. So when I was 14 I had this huge crush on him and I thought that maybe he liked me back, since the way we would treat each other was definitely not one I would treat my siblings in and I'm certain he wouldn't treat them in the saw way either. However he got a girlfriend so I backed off. He later found out I liked him but he was totally cool with it. He said he'd still do anything for me and that it didn't change anything. Then in February this year, when I was 16 and was 18, he and his girlfriend of 1 1/2 years split and he and I got really close again. We'd talk on Facebook a lot but then he started making really suggestive comments and hinting about kissing me. In March whilst at my Dad's house he and I ended up hanging out together. He began teasing me that I wanted him, and then I went off on a rant about how I didn't. Mid-rant he kissed me. He was my first kiss and he knew that too. I know at 16 maybe that's kinda lame that I've never been kissed but I was waiting for the right guy and then he kissed me which is so messed up. At the time he said that it meant nothing and that it was only to prove a point, but then after that every Sunday when I would visit my dad, me and my step-brother would end up hooking up, each time going further and further (last weekend we go to third base). It was totally different to the other times as when he touched me face to bring me in to kiss him his hand was shaking, he told me he missed me, there was no fighting before hand when there usually is, he'd kiss my cheek while we would just be cuddling, after he'd 'gone down on me' he kept worrying about whether I was okay or not, he even started eskimo kissing me at one point... but now it's really complicated because feelings aren't supposed to be involved but I think maybe they are :/ which once again, is so messed up
because it was just supposed to be for fun. I wasn't supposed to end up having feelings for him. He's my step-brother, none of this was ever supposed to happen. My friends know about it and they're all encouraging of it. And my family on my mom's side know I used to have a crush on him and they were okay with it then. However I highly doubt he has feelings for me, and if he did it's not like it could go anyway. On the one hand I don't want this thing to stop because I enjoy it but on the other hand I know that if it continues my feelings will just get stronger, we'll end up having sex and ultimately I will be the one who ends up hurt. So my questions are; Is any of this okay? What do I do now? Do you think he has feelings for me? How do I go about doing whatever it is I'm supposed to do next?
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Okay lets start with the big question. Is this incest? No! You two are only related by marriage of one of your parents to the other. You are siblings by other mothers and fathers in this case.
Next is the age difference. Two years is not a big deal but given that you waited till 16 for your first kiss it says he is your first true love. He being 18 is very likely going to be far more experienced then you are in the matters of the heart.
One of the big mistakes teenagers make is going from that first kiss to intercourse to fast. You have waited this long for the first kiss I would think you could put the brakes on and wait a while longer until you were say 18 before having intercourse.
If you cannot; then at least visit your doctor and ask for birth control medication. At age 16 you are by Federal Law known as HIPPA, able to make a doctors appointment, to see you doctor, for anything related to your reproductive system, without parental consent or knowledge. This includes asking for birth control pills. Your visits, discussions and treatment by the doctor(s) are totally confidential and require your written permission to release any information.
Should for example mom arrange a doctors visit where during the exam a female examination, anything to do with your reproductive system, is to take place. Mom can no longer be in the exam room with you and the doctor(s) or anyone in their employ can tell you mother anything about the exam. All you need say to the doctor is; "I invoke my rights under HIPPA. Mom will be asked to wait in the waiting room if she is with you.
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I think the fact that he is your step brother is not the issue. The issue is that he is 18 and legally an adult and you are only 16. I know it seems like a small difference but he much more experienced then you. It also sounds like the two of you want different things from the relationship.
It sounds like he moves a little too fast for you. Although you enjoy it, it's scaring you at the same time. Is that right?
Since it's pretty obvious that this relationship is headed towards sex you need to think about what that means. Do you have an open honest relationship with your parents so you can talk with one of them about becoming sexually active? If your going to become sexually active you should probably get on birth control to insure that you wont get pregnant. You also need to think on an emotional level if you are ready for sex?
By the sound of it it seems like your step brother doesn't spend much time asking you what you want and what your comfortable with before you two mess around? I get this from you saying that he just kissed you without making sure it was okay with you first. Then he tried to excuse the fact that he didn't get your consent by saying "it was to prove a point." For an 18 year old young man he is making dangerous moves with a young impressionable 16 year old. If anything ever got out of hand and you felt like you were violated by him, he could go to prison as a sex offender against a minor.
Now it seems that the two of you are very close and you don't want this to happen, right? It also seems that you want more then a "Just for fun," sexual relationship, right? You want the whole thing, you want to have feelings and you want a relationship right? DONT SETTLE FOR SOMETHING THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT! Your young and you have your whole life ahead of you for "fun sex." Go for what you want, wait for someone that wants a relationship with you. Someone that wants feelings to be involved. Trust me he is out there! Your just getting started in the dating world so be patient.
Bottom line, I say end it. Not because he is your step brother but because the two of you want different things and it's technically illegal for him to have sex with you right now. If the two of you are meant to be together it will happen when your older and more experienced.
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Hi there. You're in a real storm of emotions here by the sound of it. Both of you. Strong feelings on both sides NOW from what you've written, not the possibility of them coming in the future. The relationship is not in any way incestuous of course. So there's no ethical, moral or legal entailment whatsoever. He's the son of a guy your mum is in a relationship with...there's no bloodline at all. Family 'dynamics' (just meaning the way you all interact with each other) may or may not be a problem. This depends entirely on the true feelings of each person involved. Sometimes it's not all it appears. An adult may for example let things ride, feeling that it'll probably pass and making a fuss is likely to make you more determined to pursue a course of action they'd rather you did not pursue. The general 'atmosphere' when the subject comes up is probably your best measure. Can't answer this as easily as the 'genetic' side, which is clear-cut. But parental approval is not guaranteed WHOEVER your boyfriend might be, particularly at sixteen. The thing that strikes me most is the feeling you seem to have that you WILL end up 'hurt'? Might ask you why that is? Boyfriends don't come with guarantees, whoever they are. Do you doubt that he has ANY long-term intent to commit to you? Or is it that you feel those 'family dynamics' will force you apart against both your wishes? Of course, there's nothing at all wrong with a no-strings, no big plans 'physical only' relationship at your ages. You'd probably be 'testing the water' as you might say with someone at 16, and at least he's a guy you know very well and trust. (If not trust to commit to you as a partner, then you trust him to treat you with the full respect you deserve as a woman). It's a long, well-written question from you. You're not 'crashing about' in blind ignorance. Afraid there's no way I can predict the path things will take, let alone the outcome. But how often can ANY of us do THAT about ANYTHING?? All I can say for sure is this. Neither of you are doing anything wrong. Hope I may have helped a little. As for the question about feelings...if a blokes hand shakes when he's about to kiss you, believe me there's some strong feelings indeed within him, at least in that moment. You CANNOT fake that 'tremor'. But it feels bloody amazing when it just happens, I can tell you that!! There's also another clear signal here that I feel sure you've picked up on already. The attention and tenderness he shows you AFTER the physical 'act' you describe (help me out here...don't want to be too graphic about your personal pleasures...you know what I mean!) It's a very strong message that a guy feels a lot more than simply the need to 'satisfy his urges' with you. Clear 'bonding' body language...saying "I'm going to stay around" loud and clear to a woman who knows how to 'listen' to it. Honestly, even though the guy may well not consciously 'know he's saying it'. Best wishes, and hope you make the right choices for the right reasons.
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keep continue because you are not blood related and other mom okay with it so they want it ,you also like him otherwise you never agree for kiss with him ,i know well is not limit till kiss if any one kiss you that time other things happened automatically .hear your soul voice and am sure your soul voice is you like him and he also you . .what is inappropriate in it you are not blood related.so do not think and go for next step after kiss .take enjoy best of luck
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I know in different cultures it's ok for these kinds of things when you guys aren't actually related but if you're in America or Europe, then hooking up with your step brother is inappropriate.
So to answer your questions, I don't really view this as okay. Like I said, it's actually inappropriate. I had a crush on my cousin once. He wasn't my cousin at the time, his mom married my uncle. Knowing he would be a part of the family, I didn't want it to go any farther, because that would be inappropriate.
What you do now is you stop all this and you move on.
Who knows if he has feelings for you, he hasn't told you and you've just been messing around with him. You guys skipped the relationship type of thing, you guys are just hooking up.
It will be hard to get over a guy you really like but I'm sure you can find a great guy who isn't related to you. So it's best to cut it off now before your feelings end up getting hurt worse and before you go too far with him. Be smart, I know you can get through it.
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This behaviour is inappropriate
Although you may not be blood related, You both are step aiblings and family. This would be viewed as an embarrassment towards many families if they found out their kids are having relations with family.
Stop, know your boundaries. Yes this is unacceptable. He is your step brother. No, next time he makes a move tell him it's not happening and it's inappropriate.
I have step siblings too and never in a million years would I think to date one of them. I grew up with them, They're parebt is my step patent. It is wrong
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