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what are some good ways to bring up a past relationship when talking to your ex??
like for example if i want tot ell him that i still have feelings for hima nd that i miss him??..do i come out and just say it or what??

ok maybe if your talking to him..(online,in person, etc) yuo can say something like
"do you miss what we had?"
"what would you thnk if i still had feelings for you?"

or ..get a friend to talk to him

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Have you had a friend that totally started joking around like an asshole at just the wrong time? My friend Melissa has! And this guy is sooo sorry! Guys (I being one of them) can be real idiots somtimes! So.... Sorry Melissa!!!!

stop being so hard on yourself..your one of the nicest sweetest greatest person i know :)
k? lol

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I used to always be happy and fun but lately im always in a bad mood...I want to know whats happening and how to help it

whats happening is your living life..yep thats right..perfectly normal. its not human to always be happy..everyone gets down seyometimes, everyone says stupid things sometimes, everyone gets a little grouchy

just my opinion

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I really liked my boyfriend, but I just started school and everything, and I kind of want to see whats out there. I really don't want to dump my boyfriend, but I still wanna like fish around I guess. Its a new school year and I want to make the best of it. I am not really sure what to do. I don't mean to sound like I am using my boyfriend or anything. If you could help it would be appreciated. Thanks a ton,

ok heres the thing:
i definately understand where your comin from and im not yelling at you..but think about your bf. is it fair to stay in a relationship when you dont want to stay committed to him ? (as in being content with him and not searching for anyone else..that sort of thing)
i dont think its fair to the guy you know? so think about dumping him..taking a break..whatever you two figure out definately talk to him about it..unless of course you decide to sstay with him. if you stay with him..you shouldnt be like fishing around...
i hope i helped
-meliss

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I like this guy whos 7 years older than me. He likes me too but said the age bothers him. But when we are at parties we end up having sex or doing something sexual. I really really like him shold I just be friends with benefits for now then when im older think about going out with him or what?

i would definately say no to this idea of being with him because hes a lot older than you and only looking for sexual activities. he should be interested in women his own age, not women so much younger like that. this is just my opinion..think about it ..and i think you will come to realize you desserve someone who will like YOU not the sexual things you guys do. dont feel like your the only one going through it..i went through the same thing (not as hardcore as this story though) but you know what i mean..its not only you who goess through it.

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I like this guy named Rick. He hangs out w/ me in Personal Fitness during my 9th period. But we also hang out with Jennifer and Ashlee. He says that Ashlee is his future girlfriend and he says that i am his home girl. Ashlee is not into him. Rick and i are really good friends. We drink out of the same drink, we share food, we hug all the time etc. but it seems to me that he likes ashlee. i am going to approach him tomorrow and tell him how i feel. ne last tips? i dont want to put ashlee down since she is one of my friends. so please help me. I rate hi!

you dont have to put ahlee down in order to communicate feelings to him..
last minute tips i have for you are
-stay confident..and when the time comes DO NOT put it off because it WILL drive you nuts
-think of a plan of what you will say...so you arent stuck searching for words while hes staring at you askign "what do you mean?"
-BE PREPARED FOR 2 ANSWERS : a yes or a no

best of luck!

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well there is this guy who i've liked for like 2 years and we're like friends and all. i went out with him and he broke my heart but i still like him and like a week ago i went over to his house and in the end we were all kissing. he is such a good guy if you knew him you would fall in love. well ever sense then we haven't talked alot but i mean we do ...do u think it means he doesn't wanna be with me? he called me 2 day but i was at volleyball ... do u think im looking too much into it ? what do you suggest that i do?

help ..i'd really appreciate it

well i dont know..sounds like he just wanted some action..but i mean that might not be the case who knows?
i mean you wont know until you talk to him...return his call..maybe he will bring it up first..if he doesnt ask him about the other night...be like "so about the other night..was that just something for action? or do you have feelings?" im not the best with words im sorry.

best of luck

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My bestest friend is going on a trip to mexico. While she is gone, i wanna do something special for her. What should i do? i kno where her locker is at school but the vents are only big enough to fit a single folded up piece of paper. ne suggestions?

what about like taking some computer paper and covering her whole outside part of the locker and have everyone sign something..that could be cool

ooo0or slip in single pieces of paper with like notes on it..maybe about what went on that day..how much you miss her..etc

-meliss

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I'm 21 years old and in a six month relationship with a boy I adore. The problem is the sex, it's fantastic, but there is suddenly way too much of it. It seems like all he wants to do, and he can last and last. It's just not the way I want to spend *all* of my time with him. (I also wanna sleep sometimes.)
I find myself avoiding him even when he is around just cause I don't want his hands on me every second...
Anyways, I feel really guilty about rejecting him but I'm just sick of sex! Anyone have any ideas how I can approach this without making him feel unsatasfied?

ok if this goes on without being talked about..yes it will end up ruining the relationship..i think you have some options here:
-you talk to him..tell him how your feeling but make sure you let him know that YES he turns you on and YES the sex is fantastic..but you want to enjoy ALL aspects of a relationship with him..not just the intimate parts.

some comprimises that could be made is to:
-stick to some forplay and skip the sex for a night..
*instead enjoy a dinner out, movie, (rent one or go out) take a romantic drive, go to the park, go sightseeing, play tennis together, etc etc*

have sex when it isnt late at night..this way you can sleep AND you can have some intimate fun.

try for the morning , or an afternoon if your free


i hope i helped..remember dont let this go on without talking about it or eventually the relationship will become damaged..not the same..etc

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I just started going out with this guy and it already seems like he's losing *some* interest in me. I think it's mainly because I'm not enthusiastic or flirty as he is. What are some things I can do to spice it up and show him I really do like him? (besides tickling.)

alright so you want to spice things up...set up a romantic candle dinner..like maybe cook something or order in italian dinners..make it romantic. then flirt..get kissy kissy..all that good stuff

try and keep in mind that he wants you to be flirty and stuff..you dont have to be super flirty..but compliment him if hes lookin hot..if you like a body part like his back,butt,eyes, etc..look him in the eye whehn you talk..smile..hig him...all these little things will help..dont be afraid to open up and communicate/ be affectionate with him because thats part of being in a relationship

-meliss

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Today was the first day of school (wa hoo) and in my tech class there is this really cute guy and i was wondering how to get his attention without really being to obvios like in his face kinda thing thanks =D I rate high =p

well..if you dont want to get in his face.talk to him kind of thing..then maybe answer questions in class..maybe he will be impressed , i dont know..get a friend to mention your name to him and ask what he thinks maybe? just remember to be yourself whatever you decide to go with!
-meliss

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Sometimes if I can't fall asleep at night- I'll drink one or two smirnoffs, or a mikes hard lemonade, and then I pass right out. I don't do this often and I know I don't have a problem. I'm most definitely not an alcholic- I know my limits and I'm not irresponsible. I was just wondering if anyone knows a better way to get some sleep without having to drink. I'm scared of sleeping pills, so those aren't an option. Thanks.

passing out is the body's signal to you that you drank toooo much..

try something else like
- doing some hardcore excersise before dinner..eat a solid dinner...relax ..listen to music, take a hot shower..watch tv...read.

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My friend is 13/f. She hangs out with a lot of bad kids (whores, druggies, etc) and they end to party and get baked..A LOT. Well today she went down into the room wheere everyone was gettin baked and I was like "what were you doing down there?" and shes like "I was tryin to get meghan out of there" and I was like "ok.." but I don't believe her. It seems whenever I ask her if she does something or did something she denies it. I just want her to tell me the truth. I'd rather have the truth than to her lie about that to me. So what can I say to her to make sure she tells me the truth?

it sounds like maybe shes doing some bad things and making bad choices..and thinks that if she tells you the truth you will be ashamed and disappointed in her. i mean think about it..you would be kind of disappointed in her. i think if you tell her you wont blow up on her or yell..and stuff maybe she will open up. tell her IF shes done anything to just tell you..tell her even though you think they are bad choices you wont just not be her friend over it..
say : " i know sometimes when your hanging out with them you might get the urge to try something..so if you have just tell me,..i wont not be your friend or yell at you..im your friend and im here for you to talk to and share secrets with"

-melissa-

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i have serious problems saying no to people. i dont know whats wrong with me.. please no smart comments.. its harder than it sounds
i practice saying no and stuff but when it comes to the time i just.. cant
i think its because ive had some bad history with my boyfriends hitting me when i wouldnt let them so as far as they would like

any adive ?

this is something you have to really work on..you wont be able to all of a sudden be able to say no. . it will take dedication. dont give up..keep in mind certain things :
- this is YOUR life..dont live it with regrets..say NO when needed
- being passive like this can lead to bad things..being pressured and giving in to things like sexual activity, violence, etc.

maybe that got you a little more motivated. talk to your friends about your problem..this way if you find yourself in a situation maybe they can kinda say NO for you until you can say it yourself..

talk to a counselor..parent.etc.

good luck!

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Hi Melissa, It's Ellyn!! I wanted to know how I should put the moves on a certain person, fruit loops, cuz we were moving in the right direction at Walnut, but we didnt have enough...this is too much!! lol--Melissa--its sam--hahhaa. Got Cha-!!

wow your invalid..i knew it was you the whole time ...lol..first off there were no typos or spelling errors and ellyn makes a million of those..plus i just knew it was you because ellyn wasnt online.

so invalid.

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is it possible to get pregenant even though ur hymen isn't destroy can sperm still swim an reacj the eggcell?

does it bleeds when the penis enter gently into a intact hymen?

yes its possible to get pregnant..i will give you some scenerios..

- the guy cums on your vagina..dont ask me why he would..but if he does yuo could get pregnant.
- ever hear of sperm banks? well if a woman wants to get pregnant without having vaginal intercourse (lesbians do this a lot) ..they go to a sperm bank and im not 100% on hhow exactly they doo it but they insert the sperm into their vaginas.. in fact i think if you watch the show Friends..there was an episode where Ross's ex gf actually got pregnant by going to a sperm bank (she was a lesbian)
(the sperm is donated)
- its unlikely but possible to become pregnant if they guy cums on his hand then fingers the girl

-its normal for the vagina to bleed when the hymen breaks

i hope i helped..if your still confused please go to my advice column and leave me a question in my inbox

-=melissa-0

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I'm in NJHS.
Every year we vote for who is president, vice pres, officer at large, secretary, and treasurer.
I am running for secretary. we were making signs and all happy when my BEST friend said she is running for secretary also. i dont want us to get mad at e/o if one of us wins and one doesnt.
but there might even be a chance neither of us wins. what do i do if one of us doesnt win....
i'm really worried and i rate high

if none of you win just let her know she would have made a good secretary and that both of you should try again next year. if one of you wins and the other doesnt..support the loser..if she loses just dont rub it in her face..you know..and maybe even let her help you out or be involved somehow. if she wins..congradulate her and run again next year..dont let it get in the way of your friendship because its only an election
-good luck!
-meliss*a

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ok so theres this really hott guy in my grade, and almost every girl likes him. im one of the few who doesn't, but i used to, and almost everyday my ex-BFF would tell him that i liked him behind my back... and when i told her i didnt like him anymore than she announced in to the whole class (with him in it!) so now i still feel awkward around him. on IM i really want to talk to him, and i have NO clue what to say, or what to talk about. i dont want to ask him about school, or junk because its so tacky, and please no smart-ass answers
i rate 5s!
sorry about the length!

just say "hey its been awhile..so how was summer?" and share stories of cool things you did or w/e then get on the topic of ur ex bff eventualyl..and talk about how invalid she was and how much of a bitch she was and all..talk about good movies,religion, past relationshipss, what you want to be when you get older, your dream fantasy (sexual or non sexual) , opinions on all kinds of stuff like gay marriage, presidents, government, if he beleives in ghosts, funny stories,
talk about old memories, the craziest thing you ever done..and soon after talking you will be talking about anything and everything with him

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okay, i am going to have a sweet sixteen at a hotel ballroom. what are some things you guys would love to see at a party? lets be creative here people...

(oh, and im not rich, so lets be creative but cheap)

- get a band to play at your party..like you know a hs band or somethin..
-best dressed contest..best dressed male and female gets a gift certificate..the judge could be the dj or somethin..or you can have people vote
-dance contest
-singing contest
- i was at a sweet 16 and someone had like a tv hooked up and people were playing ddr and other video games..maybe set that up with like a couch..this way there is somethin for everyone
-kareoke is always fun
- limbo?
-maybe have some sort of like grand entrance for you..some get relatives or someone you know (or a pro but you would have to pay them) and they like skate in on rollerskates..and then you have all these like showgirls in costumes (use your good friends for this) and behind them you come in? hm some kind of cool entrance.
- at my sweet 16 i had a swimming after party..maybe you could arrange that with the hotel..it was very fun..we also had an after after party in the sauna..like 6 of us haha it was fun
- i dont know the price range..but have belly dancers dance there? or something
-maybe have like a seperate area..where like no adults can see you..like idk have a section closed off with like fake vines hanging from the ceiling so there is privacy..and have like a pool table (if its possible to have one brought in)..some couches..like a chill spot
- rent a room and have ur best friends and you sleep over afterwards
-lol play twister

i thought for a looong time and i came up with that so i hope i helped somewhat? have tons of fun!

-melissa

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(14/f)

last fridayy, my cousin's friend, that she tried to hook me up with, forced himself on me and tried to rappee me i guess. i don'tt know what to do. i feel so alone. i don't know if i shoulld tell her or not, i'm so paranoid, my friendss have no idea about anything, and its gettingg to the pointt where I can't even sleep at nighht anymore.

i need help, who do i tell?? should i tell anyone? or just let it goo? please help.

no no no do not let it go! tell your friends and your cousin about this..they will SUPPPORT YOU..you were a victim this was NOT your fault. do not feel alone because many people are in your position right now..
what you do is stay away from this creep..report him to police..get him in trouble! he doesnt desserve to not get in trouble for that..get him in trouble before he does it again to some other girl!
tell your parents ..they are your best friends..they wont be ashamed of you or upset because he was the idiot who tried to force you..

good luck with everything..get this asshole in trouble pleeease!
-melissa

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