Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: Me and my father aren't close he says mean things about me and makes me cry basically feel like crap i feel like i'm always the main target he intimidates me and i hate when he's home i try to avoid him i hardly ever talk to him because i feel like he's going to say another mean thing
and there's no point

Here's some things he's said about me
He called me a hermit,Called me useless,Told
me to go away,Told me to get a life made comments about my hygiene

My questions are:

Is what he's saying to me considered child abuse? Also what would be the best thing for me to do?

It is not child abuse but possible emotional abuse. You could ask your mother about seeing a counsler and letting her know about the problem. It sounds you are feeling a little depressed because of the things he says to you. My father used to call me a whore and slut. Tell me my ass looks nice. I picture him as a petifile and I dont let my children around him by himself but that is me. I was in counsling because of him but I never did talk.

Q: I am sorry to say that I have just found out that my brother is smoking weed! What do I do?

I am afraid that he will end up like his loser dopehead friends. :(

What can I do to help him? Anything? If I go to our parents they will probably kick him out if he won't stop it. I don't want him to hate me, but I want him to have a future and you know if he keeps doing this his future is gone.

Help? Anyone?

My little brother used to smoke weed as well. He quit on his own because he eventually relized you can really screw up your life. Go for a walk with your brother or out to eat and explain to him that smoking weed is only going to ruin is life and if your parents find out they will probably kick him out. tell him if he is stressed in life there are other ways to deal with it.

Q: okay, im a nineteen year old female and i really want a baby. im NOT old enough, and i know im not ready, but i cant help wanting one. there is no way that i will have one right now, because i dont want to hurt the chances of my child's future, so i WIll wait to have a child. i was just wondering if anyone has ever felt the same excitement for motherhood so young, like me. and, if you have, i was wondering how you deal with it, because its been making me sad lately.

I had a baby at 15. Let me ecplain to you how quickly you grow up. I am 18 I havent been able to start college yet. I am married at 18. I have a 6 year old step son. my child is 3 now and i am pregnant. I really wanted to be a lawyer but i can not because you have to go to certian collages etc. i would do it online but im not very interested in online schooling. I work a tempary job at verizon wireless, We live with my father until we can find a house my husband is laid off and cant find a job (doesnt really look) its a tough life and hard to come by. have your own home, stable job etc. before you go for children.

Q: Okay well a few weeks ago I snuck out. And I got caught, and punished. About a week after, I snuck out again, and got caught and punished. I had my parents convinced that I wasn't like that, and that I wanted to change. But a couple nights ago, I snuck out.. and got caught. I am being badly punished now.. and I don't even think my parents like me now. I have no idea what to do, I need their trust! please help..

First thing is, your parents are not going to stop loving you just because you are getting into some trouble. Are you hear wanting your parents to really gain your trust or to are you just wanting to get out of trouble. I know you are young but dont complain about your punishment help around the house clean do dishes etc. and quit sneaking out.

Q: I've been getting a lot of little red bumps scattered around my stomach and my back and they've recently been spreading on my upper arm and on my neck. And this morning when i woke up my back was aching and feeling sore when i had done nothing for it to feel that way. So i took some moltrin pills and that took away the sore feeling. But the bumps keep breaking out. What could it be? I'm starting to get worried since its spreading =/

it could be algeric reaction to something or sensitive to a certian type of clothing. You should see your doctor and see what he or she's opinion on it.

Q: Hello there! Recently i have gone to a famous chat advice website here where i live and this is how it went (bear with me);

Anna : My parents are hardcore christians and i grew up in this family. We came from ukraine when i was 6 years old and since then i havent changed one bit.

Anna : My mother..she wants me to go to church every sunday

Anna : and does not allow me to get earrings, get my hair done, etc.

Anna : Now the problem i have is
Anna : I had to grow up really early
Anna : I am only 17 now and i feel like im 23 inside and i just want to be myself
Anna : but i dont want to hurt my mother
Anna : and ive tried to talk to her
Anna : about it
Anna : she just starts crying and makes me feel guilty

Anna Netesova: for instance..she accused me of being cold hearted because i got offended that she told me to put a robe on..even though im wearing sweatpants and a high shirt thats baggy
Anna : I dont drink
Anna : I dont smoke
Anna : I dont go out

Anna : I dont even have any friends because she wont let me have any other then christian ones
Anna : i dont have a boyfriend
Anna : i dont fuck around, pardon my language
Anna : Its stressing me out and im getting very frusterated
Anna : its been going on for awhile

Hope Coach: You are growing up and becoming your own person. Your mom will eventually have let you. At the same time your mom is older and wiser. While extreme, she is your mom and you do need to respect her

Anna : I do respect her
Anna : I just want her to leave me alone! I'm a teenager and i need space
Anna : but she just doesnt get that!

Hope Coach: You will soon be old enough to go to move out and go to college. Hang on til then and you will be able to spread your wings

Anna : What can i do until then? I feel claustrophobic in this house. Shes always trying to get me to go to church but i feel like all the people there are fake to me. I do believe in god yes but the christian god..he has betrayed me and thats another story.

Anna : I just..i cant get back into that scene
Anna : it hurts me trying to pretend
Anna : ive tried telling her this
Hope Coach: She is right you need to be in church
Hope Coach: you don't go to worship people
Hope Coach: you go to worship God
Hope Coach: God has NOT betrayed you
Hope Coach: Sounds like mom is right to be concerned
Hope Coach: your path is not good

Anna: I'm not a bad person. I don't do bad things.
Anna: I'm nice to everyone
Anna: I know the entire
Hope Coach: You're disobeying God
Anna: commandments
Anna: and i follow them
Hope Coach: so does the devil (that is know the commandments)

Now my question is this; what should i do about the problem i originally had, that my coach did not answer and why the hell would someone shove god into advice? I have been there, done that i just cant believe that god can just up and fix my problems if i believe in him (which i have and believe ME he does not.)

Your mother sounds emotionally upset. Church wont hurt but you need to compramise with your mother ask her. If I attend church I would like to be able to make some friends and go out once in a while and wear appropiate clothing that I like. Things like that. tell her you like going to church. I dont go to church I have two kids and im pregnant ( im 18) your mother is probably trying to protect you from people like I was growing up. but you are growen up and can make your own decisions. stand up for your self while still respecting your mother. if she starts crying dont feel bad say i am sorry if this upsets you but I am a teenager and i dont want to be friends with only people who have to go to church or who is a christian. etc. good luck.

Q: Im a17 year old guy living in South Africa and my dads having an affair. Most nights he sneeks out and when I look out the window I see him going to the womans house ( she lives practically across the street). The thing is this woman is a family friend to my family and my parents work with her plus to top it all off she's a teacher at my school! My dad doesnt know that I know about the affair. What should I do?! This is really tearing of apart and some advice will be greatly appreciated.

Think of it this way. You are married and your wife is sleeping with a neighbor who happens to be a good friend of yours. Your children know. What would like. Your children to tell you about the affair or keep it a secret. In my opinion I would like my child to sit down with me and let me know what they know of. You are 17 which is a pretty okay age to deal with this. It will still be really tough your parents will probably argue your mother may already suspect something. just support her and don't hate your father. everything happens for a reason although we may never know what that reason is. good luck.

Q: So in april i met my current man, hes black im white. and my dad jus happens to be racist. my mom knows about my boyfriend and i know she would like him if she met him..my dad jus doesnt open up to anything really and one day when i tell him or he finds out its going to tear the family apart. We already dont talk, and he knows i dont like him. The only reason i stay here is for my mom, plus im underage. I am in love with my boyfriend and there isnt really anything i can do at this point. i feel lost. Help?

If you love your boyfriend it should not matter what people say. My mother is involved with a black male and she is white. I hate him not because he is black but the things he and his family does. My mothers father is racist and hates it he wont even say hello to my mother or even look at her. Her mother still comes and sees her they go out to lunch once in a whle and talks on the phone. You have to do what you think is right your father will either get over it or stay mad and miss out on a lot.

Q: so just to give u a background, im 16, girl, 2 parents, both doctors, an older sister and 2 little sisters. my paretns are both really strcit and anoyying and unreasonable. they always punish me and stuff for the stupidest reasons and i cant do anythnig about it. fighting bac does nothing becauswe they dont care what i have to say. and they would nebver think their wrong. and i cant rebel or anything because thel just punish me more. so basily they own me and i have to listen to all of their ridiculous ideas and theirs nothing i can do. i cant live like this. i need help. advice? words of wisdom? just anything to getme throught this....

Growing up my parents where the same way but I got away with things I ended up 15 and pregnant. Not saying you would do the same things I would do. Your parents are strict and unfair because they are your parents and want the best for you. I am sure they let you go out with your friends and things like that but your best bet is to clean around the house keep your room clean. Clean the bathroom, Kitchen pick up if you see a mess they will be more leniant and yes at first they will ask you well what do you want. Keep up with it and try and help them out i am sure they have stressful jobs and want to raise their children good.

Q: ok me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 11 months. hes a 17 year old male and im a 17 year old female. everytime we go to his house if his girl neighbors are outside there making a whole bunch of comments either insulting me or just stupid stuff as if hes messing around with them behind my back. like just trying to cause problems between me and him. cause i know hes not cheating on me, we spend like every second and every minute together he wouldnt have time to do it anyways. well like one girl will continuosly be like hey my babys daddy! or little stupid comments like that, it makes him mad and he will say shutup or something cause he knows there just doing it to make me mad. well i try to ignore them cause i dont want to start any problems. a few times they kept talking he told his mom and she went out and told the girls a whole bunch of stuff cause its not nice. and today we were walking away from his house cause he was walking me home and one of the girls was like you dont even say hi and he said ya i nodded my head it means whatsup and she was like oh you mean like whats up my babys mamma?! and he was like shutup and he didnt laugh or anything he just kept walking. well what are some things i can do. to show hes mine and they need to stop messing around like that cause its pissing me off. do i just ignore them or do i do something or say something what are some things i can say/do... i dont want to like stop him in his tracks and start making out with him like that cause im not like that., so please dont have that as an option..thanks in advance!

They are just jealous they probably grew up with him and having little crushes. Obviously your boyfriend loves you or hed be laughing at their jokes and not telling them to stop. Just don't let it bother you. ask your boyfriend to ignore them as well. hold his hand or ask him to put his arm around you. give him a hug. etc. maybe see if he will give you a kiss on the cheek sometime like that. Girls can be hurtful but the best way to deal with it is ignore them i know that is what you are doing but just keep on it they will soon to feel its boring to do it because it does bother you.

Q: I'm a 21 female been married for 2 years. My husband is in the army and for the first 15 months of our marriage he was in Iraq. Our marriage hasn't been the greatest and it seems like we argue all the time and we never agree on anything. Since he has been back it has gotten worse. It seems like he never wants to spend anytime with me and he doesn't find me attractive. We are lucky to have sex maybe 2 times in 2 weeks or so and even when we have sex it feels like he is doing it out of obligation or mechanically. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. I want to start a family but he doesn't seem to want to have a kid with me. I don't know what to do I want to get counseling but he doesn't want to go. I am seriously thinking about getting a divorce but I don't know if thats the best idea. I am so confused can someone please help me....

The Army takes a lot of a person the things they see over there. It could be depression it could be anything you need to sit down and talk to him about how to feel. I know marriage is hard hun trust me I had a baby at a young age meet a man go married with in a few months he had a child already and I ended up pregnant we fight a lot i dont feel like he loves me and he wont get up and even look for a job im in my third trimester and working and my job is temp so i know where you are coming from wanting a divorce. talk to him he loved you or he wouldnt have married you. you need to be happy and so does he make your relationshihp spark again go on dates get romantic. then talk about children.

Q: My speakers are on, plugged in right but i cant hear anything. i tried fixing it changing settings and it still won't work. what do i do?

Sometimes if you go into your control panal. to sound settings the mute box may be checked.

Q: should I break up with my boyfriend? We fight about 2-3 times a day averagely; I love him still but this fighting is getting to be too much.. is this reason enough even though i still love him? we have tried to work this out, believe me.. he promised and the promises were broken.. nothing works

How long have you two been fighting like this. Do you ever spend time just you to. Find the cause of the fighting and trying to fix it. Don't fight back ignore it. There is a reason to fighting sometimes. If you dont feel there is any hope, end it. There isnt a point of staying together and fighting all the time.

Q: those are the simplest, most final words you can ever hear, or ever say. how do you react when you're not the one saying them? I don't know how to go on with my life. I've been struggling for months now, and my situation only becomes more hopeless. estranged from my wife of 12 years, a thousand miles from my kids, working at a job i dont' like. the only reason i haven't committed suicide yet is the thought of my kids tears, or my parents tears, or even my wife's tears. i don't want to break their hearts, but i don't know how i can go on with my heart being broken either. i live with this pain every day, every night, and it doesn't go away. i'm seeking solice in any place i can find it, and it doesn't matter. the only little pleasure i have now is when i see my kids every two weeks, and it's only for a day that i interact with them. how is this living? my love of my life has had her heart broken, by me, and now is with someone else. it's her who said those words to me. i can't live with this pain. i don't have any enjoyment now. stupid bars and fucked up online meeting people shit sucks. i don't see the point in going on. i so much want to go out morrison or monroe style. what the fuck am i supposed to do. i care so much about those people and having their hearts hurt even more, but how do i go on like this? there is no pleasure anymore. nothing. foo0d sucks. sex isn't fun without her. there's nothing. i'd drink myself to death, but somehow that's not fun either. there is no way to repair the damage done, and though i wish there was, i'm now dealing with the finality of a love that to me was the best thing in the world. i don't know what to do. i so much just want to die. i want this to be over, and i never want to live or be happy again. i think i'd spend an eternity chasing what i once had, and spend so much time looking back at what was, that i'd be confined to a prison in my mind. i can't live like that. i don't want to cause others hurt, but just don't know how to go on through the drudgery and gray of every day life anymore. there is no place for me to turn except this stupid thing. i hate this life.

My parents went through a divorce a few years ago. I know its tough. It was really hard on my father and my husband and I are going through some tough times I want to talk but he ignores me even though the situation is him lieing to him but anyways, I know its tough. It will take so much time to get over your wife of 12 years and for your kids Itll get easier. As they get older youll see them more. Just be there for them this is really hard on them my brothers grades slipped, he went from a average child to punk skater heavy rock music. smoking, drugs drinking ( which i finally got him to stop) thank god. but hear are some ideas. Church it is good for you ( makes me sound terrible because I dont go to church) but they have programs in some churches lie divorce recovery even if you are not divorced and you meet men and woman who are struggling with the same situation. My father meet some great friends that way. Go to places you like to go. What about sports or music? little clubs that play music etc. if you like the barsyou dont have to drink to meet some good people. how old are your kids? a park? childrew events? etc. you meet people every.

Q: Icaught my dad cheating on my mom almost three years ago. walked down stairs saw him on a web cam with another women.... we stopped talking all summer, i never told my mom, i could never ever let my parents split and ruin my life, i was 15, now im almost 18. we finally kinda have a relationship, i mean.. i guess we talk. it kills me everyday, we hardly saw hi, and i never do anything with him. i caught him on weird chat sites.... all the time. and tonight, i found it again, on yahoo. i found his user name, a reallyy fuckin weird one for him, i luv9999... what the hel am i supposed to do. ive been depressedover this shit, for the fact my dad is a fake, im the only one that knows, and my mom is my best friend and im hiding this from her. its killing me. i go to collehge in a year so i cant wait to get out but to know im leaving her here with him. lately two people my parents knew husbands have been arrested for sexual predators with lil kids. it kills me, what if its that? god what am i supposed to do. i cant handle this, i cant see my family part, and i dont even know

Hun I know how hard it is to see your parents split up but think of your mother not yourself. You are 18 now you should understand. If you were married and your husband was to cheat on you and yours kids or even your friends knew but never said a thing to you how would you feel? Tell your mother. Take her out to lunch and tell her what happen three years ago and tell her you found it again and you just don't know how to deal with it. Tell you are sorry for not saying anything but you thought it was for the best but now you are starting to change your mind. Also you keeping this inside and not telling your mother is ruining you and ruinning your relationship with your father you may never be able to forgive him but at least you will have the ease on you. and my parents got divorced when i was 15 I was also pregnant i felt like it was my fault my father cheated on my mother years ago . and years later they got divorced you never know they may work it out once your mother knows. good luck

Q: i legally want to seperate myself from my parents. they are dead to me. i don't want to get into it, but yes, i AM sure, so please don't bother with that. the problems is that i don't know how to go about it. i live in england, and am 16. what are the legal requirements. all my family and friends live back in the US, and i have been sponsred to move there. by the time im 20 i'll be a US citezen. i don't mind waiting till then, but i want to know any thing and everyhting about it. i really hope you understand that this is my life, ao please take this seriosuly, and tell me everything you know evevn if you aren't 100% sure (just tell me, if that is the case). even tell me your own opinions (about the practicality of it, not whether i should do it, because im not reading about that okay?). tell me about you own experiences. i wanna know about cost, laws, etcs. my parents won't fight against it, so will it just be simple? thank you very much, it means a hell of a lot to me!

Okay well the us laws are different by state. I used to live in Ohio and you have to have a job prove you will be able to take care of yourself. Another thing is you have to stay in school. To be emancipated your parents have to give up there rights either asign you a gurdian or sign a paper allowing you to be emancipated. OR you have to prove to the courts that your parents are unfit parents. also if your parents are just going sign there rights away you have to go to your county court house. also

I looked up online how to emancipate in england and i found this...

children cannot be emancipated in england.

However if you look at the rights and benefits typically given to emancipated children in places like america (these rights differ depending on where in the world you look) you will notice that children in england can already do all of them long before the legal minimum age of emancipation in america, theirfore there is no need for it in this country.

a few common examples

the right to sue and be sued. -chilren can bring legal action in their own capacity in the uk as long as they understand what they are doing, this is frequently found in devorce proceedings between pearents.

no longer have to obay your pearents -In england there is no law saying that children have to obay their pearents until a certain age at all

choose your own medical treatment -again in england children have this right similar to a right to sue or be sued, the only requirement is sufficent understanding.

The right to enter a contract -although a childs right to enter a contract is limited in england it is not compleatly illigal, but basically a child can enter into a contract which is nessesary for a person with his lifestyle and quality of life.

AND

"But I am just interested in finding out if you can be emancipated by you're parents in England."

A 16 or 17 year old minor can be emancipated in England by;

a) Marriage. (Parental consent required)
b) Enlistment in the Armed Forces. (Parental consent required)
c) Court order. A court will order a minor emancipated only if he (or she) is able to prove that she is *entirely* economically self-sufficient (ie *NO* assistance from anyone, even in the form of "you can live here for free), is emotionally capable of living alone, and has a home environment which is "entirely unsuitable".

If the home is suitable, then the court will not order even the wealthiest and most mature 17 year old emancipated, and if the first two criteria are not met but the home is unsuitable the minor will be sent to the care of another adult.

Q: I need to know how much I will lose if I don't eat for a week? I researched it, and most people say 21lbs...I know that it is a dangerous thing but I tend to drink water a lot anyways and maybe eat a K bar ever once and awhile. I'm also trying to fast. is there anything I should know?

you dont lose weight if you don't eat you gain weight and get really sick. your body will use up the water and eat the acid and stuff in your body im not sure what it is called but you could end up in a hospital

Q: so i love my gf very much i am a lesbian and her roomates 3 yr old is very attached to her he is a brat and gets whatever he wants he doesnt even sleep in his own bed i love kids but somethin bout this kid drives me nuts. she has said to me before or other ppl hes like my own son and she cares about him a lot i feel like im jealous of this kid but im really not but its tot he point when shes gotta babysit the little boy on early days i dont even wanna stay cuz he gets in her bed when i stay and shes all cuddled with him and ignores me in the bed and i said its cool hes more important to you she says think what you want what should i do?

Honestly. I have a six year old step son. I am 18 years old with a two year old going on three. It went from me and my son to me my son, a husband and another child and I am pregnant. Talked about It took over a year to get pregnant again and right before i did i said lets wait till we are more sturdy and what happens a baby lol. any who my six year old lives with his grandparents on my husbands side and we dont want to take custdy of him (my husband was young when he had him and the mother didnt want him so they took gurdianship) because hes very attached and a spoiled brat. i love him to death but he is a brat. he is getting better now that he isnt an only child.

you have to deal with the little boy. there are reasons hes attached to your girlfriend. is his father is his life. i mean little things and when you two move in together it will be hard on him and when he starts a daycare it will be hard but once he gets used to other kids things might get better. that little boy is very important and just taking your girlfriend away from him would hurt him. just put up with it. hes three. like i tell my husband my son is two he doesnt know right from wrong he wants to be close and always wants to play. my husband hates it sometimes but has to deal with it.

Q: Hey all - Im 17/f
To begin with, i have an amazing best friend. i get along with him so well, we have the same interests and we just generally get along. we have been friends for around 2 years now, but when i first met him he had a huge crush on me. he told me straight away and i said i just wanted to be friends but he kept saying how much he liked me and how beautiful i was etc so we stopped talking because i couldnt deal with it anymore. over half a year later and we are friends again, like best friends, i tell him everything and he tells me everything. i am so comfortable with him. he still says he likes me but he is not saying it and expecting me to say it back, hes cool about it and said hes happy aslong as im in his life. he has told me he loves me a few months ago, and i dont think he does anymore but i know he still likes me. hes such a nice guy and the more time i spend with him the more i like him. i know he would treat me like a princess but i am soooooooo scared that if things dont work out i will lose my friendship with him. i wouldnt be able to live without his friendship, we talk every day! =( what can i do????!! THANKS

To me it sounds like you should give him a shot. Yes in most cases it is totally stupid to date your bestfriend. It seems like the two of you have a strong friendship and you two stopped being friends because it was akward but were able to set things aside and be friends anyways. To me it seems if dating didn't work the two of you would be able to set that aside. Let him know how you feel. Tell him the more you two talk and hang out you are starting to build feelings for him other than friendship feelings, but you are scared that if things didn't work out you too would lose your friendship. see how he feels.

Q: i have a urinary tract infection (UTI) and have a couple questions..

1. is it okay to have sex? i am on antibiotics and it doesnt hurt anymore to go pee so would it be okay for me and boyfriend to have sex?

2. my antibiotics say "take 1 pill twice a day"
can i take them both at the same time or do i have to space them apart? like take one in the morning one in the evening?

thanks!

It is perfectly fine to have sex.

I am pregnant and I have had two of them in 6 months they suck.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.