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To Divorce or To Not Divorce..?
I'm a 21 female been married for 2 years. My husband is in the army and for the first 15 months of our marriage he was in Iraq. Our marriage hasn't been the greatest and it seems like we argue all the time and we never agree on anything. Since he has been back it has gotten worse. It seems like he never wants to spend anytime with me and he doesn't find me attractive. We are lucky to have sex maybe 2 times in 2 weeks or so and even when we have sex it feels like he is doing it out of obligation or mechanically. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. I want to start a family but he doesn't seem to want to have a kid with me. I don't know what to do I want to get counseling but he doesn't want to go. I am seriously thinking about getting a divorce but I don't know if thats the best idea. I am so confused can someone please help me....
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The Army takes a lot of a person the things they see over there. It could be depression it could be anything you need to sit down and talk to him about how to feel. I know marriage is hard hun trust me I had a baby at a young age meet a man go married with in a few months he had a child already and I ended up pregnant we fight a lot i dont feel like he loves me and he wont get up and even look for a job im in my third trimester and working and my job is temp so i know where you are coming from wanting a divorce. talk to him he loved you or he wouldnt have married you. you need to be happy and so does he make your relationshihp spark again go on dates get romantic. then talk about children.
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sorry to hear you going through this
I will try to never suggest divorce when it comes to marriage. my opinion is that marriage is tough its a job really when you got married you swore that you be together in richness and poorness, in sickkness and sickness till death due you part. Im not trying to be mean but i will say this dont give up. I hate to say this but i really dont agree compoetely on the reason alot of men use when they serve military duties. I think the best thing is to make sure he 1. loves you 2. has feelings for you 3. is still interested in you 4. has not had affair outside the marriage 5. wnats to work things out 6. is willing to work it out 7. will get help together with you not against you. follow those steps but over all i really think you should be willing to be 1. strong 2. accept his answers 3. be willing to move forward.
now depending on your beliefs divorce will play a diffrent role if your belief has views on divorce please consider them. but if you both do not have a belief and have no children then its best to let him go....first of all you have the right to live alone or be in a marriage with a person that will be commited to you. He needs and so do you need counseling.
This is a sensitive subject one in which i can easily make a mistake and be misjudged and i appologoize for not giving you a more complete opinion.
I do hope this helps
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I think he might have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). He should go to counseling. Most people who come back from war have PTSD. Often, they have a hard time fitting back into their lives after war.
If he doesn't get help, I encourage you to leave. I was married when I was 21 and I got divorced a year later. My relationship with my ex wasn't good before we were married and it got worse after. He would always go hang out with his friends and left me at home. It took me about a year to recover from it, but I found someone who cares about me. You don't have to stay in a bad marriage. My family and friends told me for so long to leave. I really regret staying with him for so long. We were together for 4 years. It was a total waste of time.
Go see a counselor. They really help you find your voice.
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