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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
I have been dating this guy for about 9 months, well actually we just broke up on january the 21st. I haven't spoken to him since. we got mad at each other on that particular day. the problem is we have sometimes went weeks without talking to one another and i dont think that is fair if im supposed to be his woman there should be strong communication. in the beginning it was good he was treating me nice and we were doing stuff normal couples do, however it seems every time we would see each other we would have sex and i beleive it should be more to a relationship then just sex. what should i do i really miss him how would i know if we are really broken up. I mean i know we are not together we havent spoken in so long his last words was dont call me anymore because he thought i was talking to another dude. do you think we are broken up, do yall think he has moved on or what.
It's clear to me that he already moved on and you certainly should to. Relationships should not be based on sex and should be based on communication. If you were going weeks at a time without talking, that certainly isn't considered a relationship to me. There are way better guys out there than him. You deserve someone that you can spend time with and actually talk to and someone that won't want to have sex every single time you're together.
if you have sex at a young age, for the first time and you dont do it again until your older, does that affect you?
Or would you tend to think about it alot at the young age?
I guess it depends on the person. I would imagine that once you start having sex, you become curious and want to learn more about it and try different things. I'm not saying that you'd want to have sex ALL THE TIME, but it's kind of hard to just do it and then forget about it.
I'm new to this site so bare with me.
I am a 14/f. My sister is 13. My sister always steals (excuse me.."borrows") my clothes to wear to school after I leave for school (I'm in High School &
she's in Middle, so I leave an hour and a half earlier).
This is SO annoying, for several reasons. One, she doesn't ask, she just picks them up and goes. I used to not mind if she asked, but it's gotten so
frequent now that I get agitated, anyway.
Second, when I ASK her if she has any of my clothes, more often than not, she'll lie to me and say no. A lot
of times, I've tested her by finding some of my clothes that she has taken. Then, I would ask her if she wore it, and she'll say, "no." Of course, I
know she's lying because I already found the clothes in her room. Also, whenever I ask, she's always like, "WHY WURR U DIGGIN 'ROUND IN MAH
LAUNDRY" and frankly, that is so hypocritical of her, since almost everyday she digs around in MY closet. And besides, I don't dig around in her laundry:
I find the clothes when emptying her stuff out of the washer/dryer.
The biggest reason of all why I HATE it when she takes my stuff, is she fucking stretches them. I first notied this a couple of months ago - one of my
shirts that she had borrowed was looser on me. I didn't say anything because I thought I was imagining it. But my fear was confirmed when she
borrowed a pair of my shorts, WHICH WAS CUSTOM MADE *FOR ME* (8th grade home ec class..good times :P) and *BY ME*, and after I found them, they no longer fit me as well as they used
to. They slide down when I jump now :( Also, a white shirt that I had went missing last year (I think she borrowed it and never returned it), and I only found it in the basement this past weekend. I've only worn it once, and it was a nice fit on me. Then my sister comes along, TAKES it, and of course, I noticed immediately it was gone because I now have to keep tabs on all my stuff so I know asap when something is missing. Anyway, I washed it and tried it on again, and now she stretched it SO much that the bottom lining of the shirt RIPPED so it's all loose and not that good of a fit anymore. (note: it was a size small, so it was kinda tight on me anyway)
She says she takes my stuff because she doesn't have enough clothes to wear. Bull fucking shit. If she only took the time to find all her clothes and pack them neatly every once in a while, she would see she has just as much stuff as I do, if not more. My closet only appears full because half the stuff in there are stuff I'd only wear to parties & stuff.
So my question is, how can I make her stop taking my stuff, and how can i tell her politely it's because she stretches them? (I NEED to tell her she stretches them, because no other reason, not even for the sake of my privacy, will stop her from raiding my closet, apparently.)
Please don't tell me to tell my parents, my mom neutral and all about "sharin' is carin'" and my dad is on my side but he doesn't enforce it. ty
Ask for a lock for your door. Or better yet, get a trunk that locks and keep all the clothes you don't want her to take and keep them in there. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. And unfortunately there is no other way except to hide them.
If you think your sister will understand, then tell her exactly what you told me. Tell her "We have different body types. You're not allowed to wear my clothes because after you do wear them, they don't fit me right. You have no right to go in my room. You'd be mad if I went in yours, so don't go in mine."
Hi,
My school prom is coming up soon and I have been told that a boy is going to ask me to go with him, this boy told me he liked me a few months ago and I told him I already have a boyfriend (but I don’t really) because I don’t like him in that way. After he told me, we stopped talking to each other because it was awkward, but recently we started talking again. Now, so soon after, he is going to ask me to the prom and I don’t know what to say. If I say yes I’m worried about what he will expect, for example do I have to stay with him the whole time and would I have to dance with him, because I would find that really awkward. Please could you help me with my decision.
Thanks
I say find a different date. You need to go with someone that you'll actually want to spend the dance with. Prom should be fun! Not awkward! And if you need to go with someone else or just your friends to do that, then so be it! :)
I'm just looking for some opinions here. Do you think giving head is a bad idea? I've always thought that blowjobs were gross and should be left to the sluts, but some of my friends are trying to convince me differently. I just don't want to be labeled as a whore amongst the guys.
Any opinions would be helpful. Thanks.
It's as simple as this: if you don't like it, don't do it. If anyone tried to convince you otherwise, they aren't your friends. Everyone has their own opinions, but no one should ever be able to make you do something you think is gross.
Ok so I know I have asked before but I am freaking so I am going to ask again. My boyfriend and I have dry humped but fully clothed. (Him: boxers, cacies(sp)Me:Pad,Underwear, jeans or korderoy pants.)Well my period hasn't come but it should be anyday now.(I think I am having light cramps but not sure) I am a bit late. I have never had intercourse. Is there anyway that I might be pregnant if he has gotten a quater sized wet spot on on his pants but he never like...ejaculated?
Help..
~ELI
No you're not pregnant I promise. You can only get pregnant if you have intercourse. If you get that worried about it, don't dry hump anymore.
heyy, im a 15 (nearly 16) year old girl. im having baddd problems with both my boyfriend and my Friends. i know the expression "Chicks before Dicks" but that isnt working. i dont hang out with my friends as much i'd like to. and i hang out with my boy every weekend (his grandma lives across the street and he lives 30 mins away) so every time i make plans with my friends on the weekends he cant help but to get upset. i love spending time with him, but i need friends, you know. i dont know if i should break it off. i've been with him for 9 months now. i've been trying to work it out but it's not working. my friends dont like him either. they think he is trouble. bhe is also one of my best friend ex.
I say this guy's gotta go. If he won't let you see your friends, that's a red flag right there that he's trying to control you. He probably won't let you see your friends because one of them is his ex and he's worried that she'll try to get you to dump him. I'd agree with your friends on this one. He does sound like trouble.
Things that I know about them pills.\
They start working after 1 month.
Girls who take them get a little bit fatter.
What other side effects are there and do they aply to all brands of "anti-pregnancy" pills?
I also know the doctors give a perscription when a girl has hormon problems. Do they make you extra horny, cause in that case I know I ll have a big problem lol!
No, the pill won't make you "horny."
Side effects can include upset stomach after digesting the pill, but it's nothing a glass of water and a bite to eat can't fix. There's also a risk of heart disease and cervical cancer, but as far as I'm concerned those are rare.
I don't know how to tell my vagina is normal, and I don't want to ask a doctor or my mom, so please help!
im 13, and yes ive already started my period
but when i tried using tampons, it hurt sliding them in and idk if thats right or bad or what.
Perhaps you simply need to try a different size of tampons. Get a smaller size. Make sure you are completely relaxed when you put it in or else the tense muscles can cause discomfort. If you're not a virgin, I would suggest seeing a doctor anyway to ensure that everything is okay down there. If you are, I'm sure you're perfectly fine. Tampons just take time to get used to.
Ok..soo im 17/F and all my friends have had sex or have done sexual things. And of course im the one that hasnt at all. I just dont want to do that right now..im not focused on that. Im focused on other things and i dotn even think about it. But my friends are making me feel like that i should be doing that stuff..that like im a freak if i dont. And now i think..am i really a freak? What do you think about this and what should i do?
Don't ever ever think that. You're a smart girl for not worrying about that stuff. It's more trouble than it's worth. When your friends are the ones that end up with an STD or pregnant, you can be the one to say I told you so. Maybe it's time for some new friends. They have no right to tell you what to do. ESPECIALLY if it involves intimacy. Don't listen to them. You focus on those other things and save that stuff for another time.
ok, most people that i know tell me that im not a prep. but on the other hand people that dont know me that well tell me that i am. I dont want to be (dont get offended) but somehow people end up telling me i am. Ok heres me, yes i have some things from american eagle and aeropostale, mostly jeans because most other jeans dont fit me right. Most of the time i wear a hoodie. One from american eagle, and the others just came from miscellaneous places. When i dont wear a hoodie, i wear just tee shirts, like sports teams tee shirts, well that style. I straighten my hair and take a shower and put on makeup every morning and i run my fingers through my hair throught the day. And at school i dont hang out with all the popular preppy people. Im not saying theres anything wrong with them, so dont get offended. So am i a prep or am i not? Got any advice of some sort for me?
You aren't a "prep." Don't label yourself or others. You are you. Unique. Everyone has their own style. Don't ever lower yourself to such a silly term.
ok 18/m
shes 17
going out 4 months
then she tells me she loves her x
we break up
2 days later she comes back cryin sayin she made a mistake blah blah blah
wants me back blah blah blah
doesnt want him or ne1 else blah blah blah
i ask her if she has even kissed any1 else. she says no
i say ok
we get back together
Then i find out through trusty lil myspace that in those 2 days she fucked a 20 year old and lied about it.
Confronted her. She admited it. Shes crying over it. Shes givin me all the "im so disgusted in myself, i hate myself for it blah blah blah"
i cant take this pain anymore, every time i look at her i break down cuz i picture her and him.
But i also cant walk away from her. I love her.
And i also cant go on a break with her, becuase im to afraid of what she will do if shes not with me cuz i cant trust her whatsoever anymore. HELP
I think you need to get away from this girl. Not for her well-being, but your own. She obviously has no clue what she wants and obviously has no self-respect. That is a recipe for disaster and I guarantee that you will always be the one to get hurt. Offer her your friendship, but nothing more. She lied to you. She will lie to you again. There are WAAAY better girls out there. You deserve much better. You say you love her right now, but you need to wake up and realize what this girl is doing to you. Move on.
So I have a boyfriend been together for 7 months. I have a cousin and shes been my best friend my whole life. My boyfriend is 3 years older than me and my cousin is 2 years older than me.
Lately I feel like my boyfriend doesnt want to talk to me. Like me and him are always talking about sex and we attempted it and it didn't work. So now he wont do it. He has said from the begining it was my choice and now i have decided i want to. And he was telling my cousin how sometimes he feel like im pressuring him into it. Because now he refuses to even try a second time. He said how i think anything not sexual is boring. But thats not true. Me and him never go anywhere. Everytime we see eachother which is like almost everyday he comes to my house or i go 2 his. We have never tried to go anywhere but our houses. I would LOVE to go somewhere. But am afraid to ask. And so now he just ASSUMES i dont want to go anywhere and that if we arent doing anything sexual im bored or pissed off. Now keep in mind he said this to my cousin not me. He told her over myspace messages and i went onto hers and now im always reading their messages to see what hes feeling and same with her. I feel like they turned their backs on me and decided to keep everything a secret from me and now tell eachother everything. Im getting really angry and jealous and im planning on not talking to him for a few days.
Now my questions are:
Am I over reacting?
Should I confront him about this?
If you were me would you be acting like this?
Am I being immature and over dramatic?
Anthing Helps
Sorry it was so long but i need some advice pleasee
Your boyfriend obviously isn't ready for sex. Just don't talk about it unless he brings it up. He will when he's ready. Chances are, he's just embarassed that it didn't go well when you tried the first time. I'm sure he'll go for it again eventually.
As for the messages to your cousin, I'm not sure how close you two are, but hopefully she can be mature about this. Go and talk to her about the messages and tell her that they worry you. Then, go IN PERSON and talk to your boyfriend. There's no need to yell or shout, if he starts arguing, let him be a baby then. Just calmly talk to him and tell him everything you told me in your question.
If he doesn't come around, dump him. As for your cousin, she's family for God's sake. She has no right to be sticking her nose in your relationship.
How do you handle jealousy in your relationships. Not freindships, because i get jealous of my friends all of the time, but i handle that (sorta) but how do you handle jealousy with your boyfriends...i just dont know how...suggestions anyone?
Usually you get jealous over boyfriends because you are insecure. You need to remind yourself that he is with YOU for a reason and not the other girl.
If you're still feeling jealous, voice your concerns to your boyfriend. You don't have to say anything extreme like, "You can't hang out with them anymore because I'm jealous." But you could say something like, "It's not that big of a deal, but sometimes I get a little jealous when you're with other girls just because I care about you so much. Can I be included next time?" If you hang out with the same friends that your boyfriend does, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better about the whole situation.
this boy well boyz want me to give them head but im scared im going to get herpes or something..what usally happends if u suck a guy off
If have any doubts about doing it whatsoever, then DON'T DO IT. I don't care who those "boyz" are. If you are scared, then don't. You can get a lot of STDS just from oral sex. Herpes is one of them.
I have blue sofas and my boyfriend doesn't want to throw them out.
But we're redecorating so im gonna have to work with them.
I have no idea what colour (for the walls) that will go with the sofas.
We have hard wood flooring. And I don't really want any bright colours.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
You could try getting slip-covers for your sofas so they will match whatever decor you choose. Plus they're washable and make your couches look newer. If you don't want to do that, you could paint your walls a soft creme or dark brown. I think those colors would look nice with the wood floor and the blue couch. Decorate the room with different shades of brown or creme and the blue can be your accent color.
how can i get rid of a sore throat with out medican or perioxide or salt water. i tried all them and i still havent go rid of it :/
TEA TEA TEA TEA AND MORE TEA. The stronger it is, the better it works. There are lots of teas you can choose from. My fav. is rasberry. Also, make sure it's nice and hot. Cold tea won't help as much as hot tea. You could also try fruit breezers cough drops. They're yummy and soothing at the same time.
Hope you feel better!
is it conceited if you say "im hella nice" or "im so nice"?
Of course not. Being nice is not being coneited. Mean people suck.
ok so my bf and i have decided to have sex but the thing is we are both virgins. so i would like to know if it is possible that i can get pregnant by swallowing his semen. i have heard it's possible and other's say it's not. can someone pls clarify for me?
No, you CAN NOT get pregnant from swallowing semen. With all do resepct, if you didn't know that, perhaps you aren't ready for sex.
i always wear a sports bra. i dont know why its just more comfortable. i just bought a new regular bra and whenever i wear it it makes me itch sooo much. i dont know why regular bras are itchy to me but does anyone know if theres one that doesnt itch because hate wearing sportsbras cuz the straps always show and its soooo annoying.
thx.
It could just be the TYPE of regular bra you are wearing. If it itches, buy a different brand or material. Go to Victoria's Secret and tell one of salespeople your problem. You'll be able to try on several different types so you can decide which is best for you. V.S. can be expensive, but every girl needs at least ONE really good bra, which is exactly what you'd be getting.