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heartbroken
ok 18/m
shes 17
going out 4 months
then she tells me she loves her x
we break up
2 days later she comes back cryin sayin she made a mistake blah blah blah
wants me back blah blah blah
doesnt want him or ne1 else blah blah blah
i ask her if she has even kissed any1 else. she says no
i say ok
we get back together
Then i find out through trusty lil myspace that in those 2 days she fucked a 20 year old and lied about it.
Confronted her. She admited it. Shes crying over it. Shes givin me all the "im so disgusted in myself, i hate myself for it blah blah blah"
i cant take this pain anymore, every time i look at her i break down cuz i picture her and him.
But i also cant walk away from her. I love her.
And i also cant go on a break with her, becuase im to afraid of what she will do if shes not with me cuz i cant trust her whatsoever anymore. HELP
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i have been cheated on, and i was so upset, i didnt think i could get over it.But I did and i learned from it. I know you love her and its definitely gonna be hard, but id honestly take a break and see what happens. You cant be afriad that shes with other guys because relationships are bulit on trust. But its your call, and i hope everything works out hun.
Xo
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alright well i can understnad loving someone so much, that you don't care what they do wrong. but look at the facts, she's being very unloyal to you. you need to sit down and have a very VERY serious talk with her. only you can decide if she's truly sorry. =]
and about that whole 'break' thinggggg....
ever hear this quote? i hate it, cause its sad.. but unfortunately its true..
"IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, SET IT FREE. IF IT COMES BACK, ITS YOURS. IF IT DOESN'T, IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE..."
so hun, all you can do it figure it out on your own.. you know her better than any of us here on advicenators do.. so only you can decide.
but i advise you to talk to her, figure her out. she doesn't seem very trustworthy though.. but i can tell you love her. and she probably loves you too =] you just reallllyy have to follow your heart with these kinds of things =] good luck ♥
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I think you need to get away from this girl. Not for her well-being, but your own. She obviously has no clue what she wants and obviously has no self-respect. That is a recipe for disaster and I guarantee that you will always be the one to get hurt. Offer her your friendship, but nothing more. She lied to you. She will lie to you again. There are WAAAY better girls out there. You deserve much better. You say you love her right now, but you need to wake up and realize what this girl is doing to you. Move on.
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First off, I want to say I understand you. Not to your full extent, but I know what it feels like to be lied and fooled by someone you love most.
It's crushing.
You should not have to endure this girl's roller coaster of ups and downs, but love is holding you back.
But she's young, immature, and doesnt know what she wants in life just yet.
Theres only one way to confront this problem, and thats head on. You and your girl need to sit down and talk, and both of you must truly listen to each other. No distractions, no beating around the bush, just honesty.
Tell her the pain you feel, and the love you feel. Tell her you can't trust her, but cant bear to lose her. Tell her EXACTLY how much you love her. If she really sees how truly devoted you are to her, of course she'll want to be faithful if she is really in love with you.
Make it clear the only way you will work is if she is honest and devoted, and that you wont take her lies or her playing with your heart any longer.
But if shes just holding to you to have a back up guy and is not commited to you fully, she is not worth any of your heart.
Tell her to be honest and speak from her heart, because it is the only way you two can move forward.
This is something to make or break you two. Either you are fully commited to love each other and are both completely honest, or nothing. That is the only way your heart can heal.
There is nothing love cannot overcome. So remember these words.
Forgiveness-Commitment-Renew-Honesty-Devotion-Truth and Complete Love
If your relationship cannot have all of that, than it isn't worth it.
I really hope that helped.
Best of luck to the both of you,
-DearAbby92
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no affense but she sounds like a bitch personaly. i mean if she really did love you she wouldn't of done that. i mean come on i love my boyfriend and when we broke up i didn't do anything with anyone else because i loved him so much more then anyone and anything i'm 17 now and we've been together for a year and a half and he's has given me everything that i've ever wanted.... so you know tell her you'll still be her friend and you'll always be there for her but untill she decides wat she wants you don't want to be with her and if she tells you that she wants you tell her she doesn't because if she did she wouldn't have slept with that 20 year old. And she would have never broke up with you for her ex. Tell her that she didn't know what she had untill she lost it and make her think about your guys relationship and see what happens give it about a week or two and so yeah hope this advice helps write back and tell me how it goes
~Anna~
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You say that you don't want to break up with her, and you don't have to. However, you can't just let this slide, because you deserve to let your girlfriend know how you feel. If you don't, it will only put more of a strain on the relationship, making it less likely to be saved.
Two ground rules: No yelling, and no accusations. Those two things (especially combined) will make her defensive, and less likely to listen to what you have to say.
Also, make sure that when you do talk to her, that you two are alone and that she isn't in a bad mood.
You can say something along the lines of, "____ (name), I know you're sorry for what you did, but it still hurt my feelings. I really love you, and I don't want our relationship to end, but it's already hard for me to trust you. If you do something like this again, I don't think we can be together anymore. Please, help me make this work."
Realize that, whether she realizes it or not, that she's playing with your emotions. She said she loved her ex, but she regretted it. She had sex with another guy, and she regretted that, too. That's a lot to deal with. The fact that she's doing things with other men could also mean that she's curious, or maybe she's not happy in the relationship. Like I said before, you really need to talk to her so you can find out where you stand in the relationship.
If change can't come in this relationship, it would be best for both of you to end it. You may love her, but you can't trust her, and trust (along with communication) is one of the most important parts of a relationship. You deserve someone you can trust and who will respect you.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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Wow. Right off the bat this all sounds like a lot of drama. Too much for you to be taking in. There's a key concept you need to ALWAYS remember: Relationships and love should lift you up, not drag you down and bring out your best attributes. Secondly, a relationship does NOT function with 100% trust. No matter how hard you try or attempt to convince yourself, it just won't work. I understand where you are coming from here though, and it's okay to feel the "victim" role here. People do mistakes. And that's okay. Just so long as you learn from them, grow, move on, and don't repeat them. She may "love" you to her fullest potential at the time being, but you don't go sleeping around with some guy just 2 days later. That's disrespectful to you, the other guy, and herself. I know it's tough to walk away--and maybe this is something you can try to salvage; if you think she's worthy of that. It's going to take a lot of time, effort, and communication. You're going to have to lay out everything on the table. Please keep in mind there always that risk of a repeat and you really need to evaluate what's best for YOU. Hard as it may be, my personal suggestion would to be to walk away from this. You're 18--you don't need to be in pain. Have fun. Smile. Laugh. Find someone that is going to respect you, themselves, and y'alls relationship. If in time, you think she's shown change, then maybe give her a chance. But don't let people take advantage of you. :)
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If you can't trust her, then you shouldn't be with her. You love her, but you've gotta walk away from her no matter how much it hurts.
Besides, why would you wanna stay with her? You're picturing her & some other guy, she lied to you about fucking some other guy, and then when you confronted her, she broke apart like an old statue. I wouldn't wanna stay with her. I'd dump her, and leave it at that. Just be friends with her, but can you even trust her as a friend? Think about it.
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you cannot possibly be in a relationship where there is not trust and honesty in both sides of the relationship. I just talked about healthy relationships vs. bad ones today in health...last block, and your relationship does not seem that healthy. Also it seems she just wants a 'friend', if you know what i mean..
If she wants her Ex and breaks up with you for him, then its her problem, not yours, you dont need to get hurt by her again. What if she decides that she likes the 20 yr old. she could end up hurting you again. I would break it off before it gets more serious.
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