I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50040
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Xenolan
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Im going to sum this up as much as i can.
Theres this boy, and i like him ALOT
Me and him never got into a fight or anything but we did stuff [if ya know what i mean] and people found out and rumors and junk went around
so he hated me
the other day he talked to me and said he didnt hate me
my friend asked him if he hated me and he said he did and he said hes always hated me
and hes acting like hes never had anything to do with me, when he has and he full well knows it
I like him alot and i dont know what to do
help plz?
15/f (link)
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Rise above it, move on, and pretend you have no idea that he hates you. Beyond that, pretend that you don't give a rat's ass either way because he is simply not in your league. He could love you or hate you and it wouldn't change so much as the type of salad dressing you choose because he means that little to you. Find someone else to like. Someone who won't say he hates you, then "do stuff" with you. Someone who doesn't say he hates you to your friends and then he doesn't hate you to your face. He is duplicitous (a liar) and he doesn't deserve your affection. So give it to someone who's more worthy.
Sabine
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Let me say first that I am not getting one im just curious. How do abortions work? (link)
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The other two responses you got were incomplete. The first website is run by an antiabortion group and uses language to color your perception. For instance, they say 'abortionist' instead of 'doctor.' They say 'knife' rather than 'surgical instrument.' They refer to the fetus as a baby and reference arms and legs which may not even be developed, depending on how far along the pregnancy is. They use the most graphic and violent descriptions possible. The second talks about partial-birth abortion, which is exceedingly rare and is only performed in an emergency to save the life of the mother. NO ONE WANTS TO PERFORM OR HAVE ONE OF THESE PROCEDURES.
Here's a pro-choice website, so you can make up your mind on your own:
http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/facts/
There's no arguing that a fetus is live human tissue. Does that make it a human life, even when it is physiologically incapable of feeling pain, having thoughts, or knowing it exists (the brain starts developing around 20 weeks)?
You have to decide for yourself. Good luck.
Sabine
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(added Tuesday January 09 2007, 6:35 pm. Additional information will not be displayed on your advice column.)
I didnt need to hear what you thought about abortion just what it was. And I believe that its the womans choice. And if a woman doesnt want to have a kid she doesnt have to..
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I'm glad you know how you feel. In that case, why the low rating? If you had wanted just the step-by-step, you could have looked it up on your own. I also gave you a link to that information. This is an advice site. I gave my advice that you were getting biased information thrown your way. Good luck.
Sabine
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OK, what is popping a cherry? what is giving someone head? what are all the types of sex? im sorry but im really curious right now! 13/f (link)
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See if you can find at your local library, etc. a copy of the book Our Bodies, Ourselves. It has a bunch of information on sexuality, puberty, etc., all the way up to how to be equal partners in a relationship with a man. It's kind of the owner's guide for a female body.
Sabine
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im the person who asked about the english class. this is a completely different question, but its more serious than the other.
well..today was the first day back to school. my math class on the schedule is algebra 3. when i went to algebra 3 today, i showed my teacher my transcript because thats what we have to do. she saw my previous algebra grades and they were 97's. she asked me why i wasnt in Honors Analysis instead (which is a more advanced class than algebra 3), and i said its cuz i wanted to be in algebra 3. well, she somehow got someone to call my mom to arrange a schedule change from algebra 3 to honors analysis. my mom agreed.
so when i got home from school, my mom told me and i started crying. its because last semester i took an AP class and i was completely overstressed to the point of depression, and i wanted to take a lighter load of classes this semester.
my mom wont change her mind. i dont know what to do..im very upset and emotional because i dont want to go through another long, very difficult semester.
please help. :[ (link)
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I agree with the advice to see a counselor. Maybe the counselor can speak with your Mom. Is your Dad in the picture? Can he intervene?
I guess I'm of the opinion that if you're old enough to legally drop out (16, right?) you should be old enough to make your own schedule decisions. That's how I would put it to the counselors.
Good luck.
Sabine
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i was just wondering if anyone could help me, how do i get my 1month old gil into a routine? how do i start it off? is she to young to get her into one?
any help would be great
thanks (link)
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First, let me say that each child is different. All of the Moms I know who think they had the schedule thing whipped because their first one was sleeping all through the night by 4 months of age are completely surprised to find out that the second does something completely different. One of my friends, right now, is struggling with a 6 month old who wants to sleep from 5 PM until 3AM and then be up until noon. Her other son doesn't go to bed until 8 PM. :( AHHH! My personal advice is this: read the more recent works of Dr. Spears and Dr. Brazelton. Read What to Expect the First Year. Then try the suggestions and throw out what doesn't work for you. Don't try to mold her into doing something that doesn't work for you both. She is not crying or up at night to irritate you or because she's spoiled. I truly believe in holding a baby every time she cries at this stage of life. They aren't sophisticated enough to cry just to get attention. There is something wrong every time she cries, even if it is something as minor-seeming as her missing your scent.
You can try to get her on a schedule, but she is still very young. If it works, great. If it doesn't, you tried.
Sabine
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WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED ADVICE ON THIS. PLEASE DONT LEAVE BECAUSE ITS TOO LONG. YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER FOR ME. PLEASE READ.
ok. so me and my mom fight non-stop. screaming yelling crying. the usual. its weird because we used to be really close and would always go shopping and crap and i would tell her everything yatta yatta. well i really want to be her "friend" er w/e. i mean not like besties but id like to at least have a positive relationship. seriously. usually, like as of right now, i hate her guts. with a strong passion. she ruins my life.
does anyone know anything i can say to her that lets her know i need her? this sound really cheesey i know. but its like ruining my life not to have a positive relationship. i mean. i get grounded for the f-ing retaredest things (if thats even a word..) and because of her i wont be able to spend this coming weekend with my boyfirend. (its our anniversary) and im superrr pissed.
anything.. please. this is serious. i hate my life. and its all because of her. i honestly wish my parents would divorce just so i wouldnt see her as much. but the only thing is she says that if my parents were to divorce (for the like 3rd time) she wouldnt let me live with my dad. yeah right. i would refuse to live with my mom.
ughhhh. please help..
oh and by the way;
if it makes a difference, she has cronic depression and doesnt always take her medications (which pisses me off). so shes always bitchy. my dad agrees with me that sometimes she goes over the top.
I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP!
xoxo
14/f (link)
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Can you please give more info? When did your relationship with your Mom change? Do you know why? Obviously, your attitude toward her has changed, but what was the thing that happened that made you feel differently?
Is she treating you the same way she always has, only you've grown in the last 5 years? Are your parents fighting or is your Mom going through a lot with her health right now? Job changes?
Please let me know and I'll try to figure out what to tell you.
Sabine
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Well to start off I absolutely love milk! White or chocolate, I still love it. I drink it every day, getting my recommended, 3 glasses a day (and at a lot of times even more). I've been drinking it since I was 2, since before that I was lactose-intolerant before, but now I have no problem with it..
Until a few days ago I drank milk one morning. Not thinking much of it, I started getting really bad stomachaches just a couple of hours later. They were so awfully bad I couldn't pay attention in class, I felt like I was trembling inside. Laying down in the Health Room did not help. I tried drinking water, but it just made it worse. Later on, just before lunchtime I got sick in the bathroom. A half hour later it went away.
Again, the next day (wasn't realizing the milk was causing the problem), I drank a small glass of milk, because I had to do some driving lessons, and when I get nervous I usually drink something before I leave and it helps. Later on, my stomach aches were coming back. They hurt really bad but not as bad as the day before. Then I was assuming it was the milk so I stopped drinking it for a couple days.
And just this morning I tried a little milk again, and I felt no pain at all. I was completely OK. I had no idea what happened there! Could someone help me out?
And to help this never happened before. I was assuming it was either the milk, or if I am becoming lactose-intolerant but my parents doubted what I thought was happening. And when I drank milk after a couple of days it wasn't the same milk (it was meyer brand) I had from the other day with the pains. Also, I have been drinking that same kind of brand of milk (udf 1% fat) for years (the one that gave me pains).
Any thoughts what it could be?
Sorry that this is long! Thank you so much for reading this. I appreciate your time. Thanks! (link)
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While I think it's possible that you're becoming lactose intolerant, I don't think it's likely. I think more likely, you had a stomach virus that hung on for a couple of days and responded to the first thing you put in your stomach in the morning - the milk.
I suggest watchful waiting. See what happens. Don't alter your habits. If you get pains again after drinking milk, one thing you can do is go get some lactase tablets (like Lactaid brand). Take them and see if they help. That will help diagnose the problem.
I hope you don't get more problems. You must have the bone strength of a superhero!
Sabine
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i have almost the opposite problem of most people - my thighs are pure muscle, not fat - which is A LOT harder to get rid of. this sounds weird i know, but i really want to get rid of some of the muscle. i'm slim but i worked out a lot especially my thighs, so now they're huge in comparison to the rest of my body. how do i get rid of the muscle there?? it's so much compared to the rest of my legs. (link)
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Well, there are two possibilities. Perhaps if you stop using the muscles so much (walking, running, lunges, or whatever you do), they will atrophy, or shrink a little. The other possibility is that you have genetically well-muscled thighs and there's nothing you can do about it.
Before you go trying to get rid of muscle, remember, muscle not only helps you move, but it is the center of your metabolism. It regulates fat burning. Lowering your body's muscle mass also means you will be lowering your metabolism and you might gain weight in other areas as a result.
Sabine
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WASSUP??!?!?
Ok, this is a stupid question since I already know the answer...at least I think I do...I guess I'm just paranoid...w/e thats what this site is for
does diet cola....if drank in high quantities...I drink like 12 cans a day....
well if you do that...will it make you gain weight??? (link)
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Well, Diet Coke has less than 1 calorie per can, and 0.1 grams of carbs, so I don't think that's what is making a you gain weight. It could be that the caffeine is stimulating your appetite, though, or that you're gaining water weight.
Diet Coke has nasty artificial sweeteners, though, so you have to figure out whether it's worth the risk to drink 12 cans a day of nasty chemical sludge (in my opinion) rather than drinking more water, which your body really needs.
Sabine
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whenever iam at my cousins house and i have a headache I take a headache powder and sometimes i take like 3 headache powders daily when iam over at her house becouse i know when i go home my mom won't have any in her medicine case so i won't be able to take any at my house all week so i take as many as i can whenever iam at my cousins house.
my cousin is worried that iam addicted to taking them becouse she said that a whole 50 pack of headache powders was used up in a week and she said i must have took them becouse besides me shes the only one who uses them and she says i need to stop taking them while i can and iam not to addicted to them becouse she says if i don't i'll have an ulser before long am i addicted and if iam how do i stop taking headache powders? (link)
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Yeah. You need to lay off the headache powder. I don't know what kind she had, but I found Goody's and BC online and they both contain aspirin, and, depending on the forumlation, sometimes caffeine, acetaminophen (Tylenol), pseudoephedrine (Sudafed), or dyphenhydramine (Benadryl).
The three main worries are the aspirin, the caffeine, and the rebound headaches. The aspirin can cause ulcers and bleeding in your stomach. That's not fun. The caffeine can actually cause headaches and it can be habit-forming, if not truly addictive. Constantly treating headaches leads to rebound headaches, which means that you get to a point where you get headaches every time you aren't taking medicine for it. You need to go off all Tylenol, Ibuprofen, aspirin, Naproxen, etc. for about 3 days to get back to normal. You should also avoid all sources of caffeine, including chocolate, coffee, tea, and sodas, during that time. You'll probably have fewer headaches if you stop treating them for a while.
Good luck,
Sabine
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i wanna lose weight. the thing is, i'm hardly hungry but i've got a horrible appetite for anything and everything fatty - chocolate, ice cream, fries, if it's bad for you, i crave it constantly. how do i tame my appetite? or at least not yield to it all the time? help! (link)
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The only thing that works for me is not to keep it around. I don't buy those things or keep them in my house. If I go out, I don't order fries or dessert. It has to be a special treat for me to buy this stuff. After you haven't had it for a while, the cravings diminish. Working at McDonald's completely killed my appetite for french fries. That grease is nasty. If there's chocolate around, I'll eat it, though.
Try to fill up on nutritious foods so you're not hungry and make sure you're not eating to fill an emotional need (I'm bored, depressed, etc.). Watch out around the time of your period, and drink lots and lots of water.
Sabine
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So lets see I don’t really hate her but I hate how she treats people
But before I get to that you should know that I don’t have many friends, and that I would say it is because of schools I’ve been to in the past where I was treated like absolute shit and my best friend was my super slicer (razor blade), but im not like that anymore but out of all of that came me not trusting people thus why I have no friends..anyway I hate my best friend because shes sooooooo judgemental of everyone and everything and I used to be just like that last year and I think that’s why we got along so well because im not like that anymore and I don’t want to be friends with her anymore because of how she is, but she makes me laugh and I know that when you get to know her shes a good person, but I know that I cant stand her judging, but if I stop being friends with her ill have no friends and then well yah I don’t want to go back there. SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO because im lost…and please if your going to just judge me dont say anything please.
(link)
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I used to be that girl - the judgmental one. It didn't work out for me. I am much happier being myself and allowing other people to be the complete idiots they are. ;)
Here's what I'd do. I'd let her know that being harsh with people all the time just makes you feel bad. It doesn't change the world. Others aren't going to suddenly see your/her point of view and change their attitudes or dress better or whatever it is she thinks they should be doing differently. Meanwhile, the negativity depresses and frustrates you, so you've decided to try to be more positive. You'd like her help. You'd like her to say only kind, helpful things most of the time. You can complain/berate only 3 people (or whatever) per day, and only to each other, in private. You want her to tell you when you're being judgmental or negative. Tell her what you hope to accomplish by this (more friends, reduced stress, fewer facial wrinkles, etc.) and see if she will come around to your side. Let her know that she's your best friend and you want to be best friends for a long time. Most people who are overly-critical of others are very, very insecure and want to know that you aren't looking at others and seeing others as somehow better than you see your friend. Tell her all of the things you like about her and your reasons for wanting to remain her friend.
And if she can't stop hating, drop her as kindly as you can. Probably you'll be able to make more friends rather easily without her around. Chances are, she already has quite a few enemies. My advice, though, is not to talk bad about her to your new friends. Just say you were growing apart and you needed a new perspective.
Good luck.
Sabine
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i asked a question like this before,
all of you said that the Great Lakes
belong to the United States AND Canada.
My teacher said that they only belong to
one of those countries. I googled it and
looked in my textbook, and nothing of the
subject came up. I truly think the Great
Lakes belong to both countries, but my
teacher says I'm wrong. Who is right? (link)
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Check out this reference to the Sixty Years' War:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixty_Years'_War
Apparently, and I didn't know this either, we fought against Canada over several things, one of them being ownership of the Great Lakes. Lake Michigan is entirely within the US boundaries, according to the site, but others are shared by US and Canada and have boards of governors which must all agree on matters of policy.
You seem reasonably mature, intelligent, and intellectually curious, so I'm sure it's not a surprise that you're smarter than your teacher. Just her unwillingness to lead you further into the subject is discouraging. Keep asking questions and know that your teachers aren't always right!
Sabine
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hello again im the girl who asked you the 3 questions ive always wonderd (srry it wuz actually 5 questions)
well ok im not even a pre-teen yet im only 12 and a half years old but im very muture for my age lets get that stright
ok so im bi and all my freinds know and they dont care they luv me for who i am i mean being bi sexual is nothing to be ahamed of! i have been for 1 year
ok lets get another thing stright, my parents have no clue. and im questioning myself if i should tell them or wait till im older so they understand (im still only 12 a kid my parents are going to have a hard time understaning) i mean i know they love me and that they wont care if i was bi but i dont want to tell them this early, i feel uncomftrabel.
my only fear is them finding out, then they will get mad that ive been hideing it from them. im not imbarrest about being bi (most of my freinds support it) and i just dont know what to do!!!
i need help (link)
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Hey, Ashley.
I think I understand your question. Should you hide your feelings of being attracted to girls and boys based upon how your parents will react?
I know you're young, but I've had a lot of gay friends and they have always told me they knew at a very early age that they were attracted to the same sex. The people I've known who are bi have always said they are attracted to people, not bodies, and sometimes they fall for females and sometimes males. I believe that you can tell at the age of 12 1/2 that you are attracted to both.
Here's my question for you. If the idea of telling your parents you're bi makes you uncomfortable, and there's no need for them to know right now (like you don't need protection from STDs), why tell them? You can wait until you're more comfortable or when you start dating someone. I don't remember ever telling my parents that I was heterosexual, but I know they picked it up by the way I acted.
You may, at some point, have to tell them quite bluntly. They may assume that your girlfriend is your friend, for example, and not realize that you are dating. Right now, I say you're not hurting anyone by not mentioning your feelings. You are not hiding relationships or giving your parents any other reason to mistrust you. Since it makes you uncomfortable, wait until you either get more comfortable or have a reason to tell your parents.
Maybe when you're 16 or so you will be more ready to open up to your parents about your sexuality. Don't hide it and don't deny it if asked. If they ask you later why you didn't speak up sooner, you can just tell them that you weren't comfortable talking about it yet and you needed more time to be sure of what you felt.
In the meantime, dear, since you are having sexual feelings, I suggest that you become familiar with what things are out there to help you protect yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases so you will know how to have a safe relationship should one develop. With a girl-girl relationship, there is no risk of pregnancy, but there is still a risk of disease.
I hope I have been helpful.
Sabine
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So heres the scoop.
Me and this kid named Kaleb* had a thing.. we were not techically going out but we hung out and kissed, held hands and wouldnt go and kiss anyone else...
then it all changed.... he asked me out... then 4 hours later said he made a mistake and he only asked me out because he felt pressured into asking me out by his friends and that he was not ready to be in a relationship. So the stupid girl that i am said... well then i think we should just stay friends because obviesly you dont know what you want or when you will want it... and then we got close again.. and the other night i got mad at him and now he says we should take a break from all this and wait till feb. and he will ask me out then.. and i tol dhim straight out, i will not wait forever and if i find someone i like more then i will move on. And now... I think i like someone and me and kaleb just ended "things" 2 days ago and i feell bad because like the saying... just because ive moved on doesnt mean im over you. that explains this... ive moved on, but that doesnt mean im over him.. and i dont know if i moved too fast? or what i should do??? help?? and ideas, advise, suggestions!!!!!! (link)
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Nope. You're right to move on. Kaleb is a child who can't make up his mind for himself. Don't wait for him. Don't count on him. Sometimes likeing someone is not enough. He has to like you too and he has to know it and be able to admit it. So follow your heart elsewhere if there's someone else who could make you happy. Maybe seeing you with someone else will even help poor Kaleb make up his mind about how he really feels and what he wants to do about it.
Sabine
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I was at my doctors the other day and she carries around this little laptop. I want one. Can anyone tell me want it is?
Its really little, maybe less than half the size of most.
And its a Compaq tc something
I know there was four numbers after "tc" but I can't remember them. It was like a 2 or a 4 or something.
Thanks. (link)
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A quick search showed me this:
www1.hp.com/wwpc/us/en/sm/WF05a/321957-304452-306995-304455-306995-457948.html?jumpid=reg_R1002_USEN
Looks like a Compaq tablet P.C. called a tc4200.
Sabine
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It is common to have bad dreams in early pregnancy? I think I might be pregnant. My first pregnancy, I had to have a DNC at 10 weeks, I had bad dreams. Is that common? If so, how long does it last? I hate to be scared! hahaha
Not a horror movie fan! (link)
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I have heard of weird dreams in pregnancy, but usually in the last trimester. Your dreams are probably stress-related, either because you're stressed about the pregnancy or fearful of a repeat miscarriage and surgery. :( Poor you. Are the dreams related to the pregnancy? Are they about the baby being born as a monster, etc? You can try relaxing, positive imaging and meditation before sleeping. You can also try writing a story about your perfect birth and reading it before you go to sleep. I think that you should confirm the pregnancy as soon as you can so that you can ease your mind either way. Good luck!
Sabine
P.S. Antidepressants, like Prozac, can cause graphic, violent dreams as well.
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ok well my boyfriend was over 2day and i had a sip of alcohol and he got pissed and he wouldnt talk 2 me. He is really concerned because his family has problems with alcohol and he is sXe for all of you who know wat that is. He was i dunno he was like dissapointed and well i hurt him like his feelings like he told me I hurt him and now i feel wicked bad. I promised him and myself that i wont ever have any more alcohol and well im scared. If you were me wat would you do?
(link)
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Yeah. I had to look up sXe on Wikipedia. For all who don't know:
Straight Edge (sXe, xXx, or "Edge") refers to a lifestyle, a personal commitment, a philosophy, and a subculture that is closely associated with hardcore punk music. Straight edgers abstain from recreational drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. Some followers of the straight-edge philosophy also abstain from promiscuous sex, the regular use of painkillers, and the intake of caffeine. Some also practice vegetarianism or veganism.
My advice to you is this: if you are going to make a lifetime commitment to abstain from sex, drugs, alcohol, whatever, it's going to have to be because it's important to YOU, not to your boyfriend. Otherwise you are setting both yourself and your boyfriend up for disappointment. Are you of legal drinking age? Are you able to be responsible? If you don't see anything wrong with exercising your right to choose to use alcohol responsibly, you and your boyfriend may have different standards. Your relationship may not work out if you're always giving up things you want to do because they're against HIS code of conduct. You may not always be able to live up to his expectations. Find someone who will accept you for who you are and not try to mold you to fit his values.
Sabine
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Well i have always had this dream of being an actress. Ever since i was a little girl. So i asked my mom if i could start taking some acting classes. She said she would only pay for something that she could tell i was passionate about. So i had to prove to her that i really wanted it by taking theatre in school. Well i did and everyone says that i was very good at improv and i would be great in the acting business. My mom however, disagreed and now she won't let me take classes! How am i going to persue my carrer??? HELP ME!!!
thanks xoxo (link)
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Keep going, dear, in school productions and community theater. You can get more exposure, learn more, and maybe turn your mom around.
Break a leg.
Sabine
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me and my guy friend like to talk dirty to eachother but the things i say get so old so fast, is there anything else i can say that might be sexy and won't get old. please help, i hate thinking im a boring person. thanks! (link)
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I don't know how old you are, but perhaps you could rent some porn movies and see what the participants say to each other. Or maybe you could just ask your partner what would turn him on. Would he like to hear about the things you want to do to him? Would he like to hear obscenities? Would he like to be put down - like called a Manslut or something?
Sabine
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