Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29765
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How can I get over wanting to see his phone?? I wanna see it every time we're together.. Trust issues /: we been together 10 months.. I'm 16 he's 17 (link)
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I'm with Zane basically. The whole social networking and sms/mms culture is the 'big thing' especially among younger people. Events aren't 'real' unless there's an accompanying Twitter or Facebook entry or a saved text to 'prove it' eh? At the end of the day trust is trust...full stop. If a guy, or a girl is going to rat on and play their partner false, they're going to. Looking at a phone proves nothing at all. A truly devious character would play this. Delete anything incriminating, and deliberately set-up some mis-information to 'prove' they're doing what they want you to believe. Would they not?? Like I said, trust is trust. Look at his heart and his character, not his phone.
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Hi, today I got diagnosed with anxiety, and I've been under ALOT of stress. My shoulders have been killing me, And now on my left side it's like my houlder cramps up for about thirty seconds? I was afraid I was having a heart attack, but I'm sixteen and healthy so I don't think that likley... No chest pain at all or numbness. Just my shoulders! Also I cry a lot due to m anxiety And stress. I am very emotional right now. Does it seem like a heart attack or just pain with the anxiety? (link)
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Yep. The shoulder pains are a classic stress/anxiety symptom. It's not likely, as you point out, that you're continually having 30 second heart attacks. Just one's usually pretty profound. The symptoms can be distressingly similar. Your chest can indeed go very 'tight' and feel like there's maybe a heavy weight pressing on it. Your breathing can indeed become laboured and eratic under extreme anxiety and stress. And because we're stressed, don't we assume the worst? God...I'm having a heart attack! Indigestion, another bad pointer regarding cardiac arrest, also goes hand-in-hand with the frayed nerves of anxiety. We might think about the term 'heartache' much-beloved of songwriters and authors. Indeed, you heart does 'ache' under emotional duress...maybe they know a thing or two, eh? A healthy 16 year-old will rarely have a heart attack, barring some underlying (genetic) weakness or existing medical condition. If you can undertake vigorous physical activity without any problems I wouldn't worry too much. If you coped with school physical education without worrying the teachers that's a real giveaway that your normally fit. Maybe give dancing, cycling, jogging, some gym or aerobic exercises a go just to put your mind at rest? They're also pretty theraputic with regard to depression and anxiety...releases lots of good chemicals...and you might start looking like a catwalk diva...Bonus! Actually, you might already for all I know...but fit's good whatever! I'm considerably older than 16. And I smoke. Too many. And emotional/anxiety attacks frighten the life out of me...I'm a bigger potential victim mate! Hope we can lay the cardiac arrest ghost to rest...because that nagging thought will be raising your already high anxiety/stress levels. Vicious circle, eh? A big off-shoot of that black dog of depression/anxiety is imagined illnesses, by the way. The mind dwells in darker places and naturally latches on to thought of our own demise. Be on your guard. Monitor you health and well-being of course, but watch for the old mind playing tricks on you. Best wishes.
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13-f
I just wanted to know if this is 'addiction'-
Sometimes (about twice a day now) I sneak into our medicine cabinet to get some ibuprofen pills (3-5, but the most I've ever had is 26 at one time). I don't really know why, but I tend to grab more pills after a stressful day than a good one, and they just make me feel.. better, in a way (I have no physical pain or need for them, though). Sometimes I ask my mom for Nyquil and pretend to be sick (because I'm afraid she would know if I just took it, but I've only done this twice in this past year) and get some just because I feel better and peaceful afterwords.
Is this addiction? If so,what is the deadly dose of both of these medications? (I swear I'm only asking that because I don't want to accidentally kill myself)
Is this addiction?
other info-
I've had depression/ social paranioa (I think every one secretly hates me) for a few years. (link)
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This is definitely a compulsive (or addictive if you prefer) behaviour pattern and needs addressing. You should never take more than eight ibuprofen tablets in any 24 hour period I believe. Although they're readily available from virtually any general store they can harm you if abused. Don't think because you don't need a doctor to prescribe them they're just sweets. It is of course the act of 'taking a tablet to make you feel better' that's making you 'feel better'. Do you follow? When they introduce new drugs they always have whats's called a 'placebo effect test' where some people are given just sugar or chalk pills that do nothing at all, but which they are told are medication. And a number of people always say 'yes, they work really well' or even get side effects...would you believe?? How crazy is that? It's a very powerful effect, believing in something! Seems you're fighting some demons with depression/paranoia? That often makes us a prime target for compulsive/obsessive behaviour. I'm sure you understand that this is what you are doing. It does need sorting out. Stronger painkillers will often contain sedative ingredients that can REALLY make you feel more relaxed and peaceful, definitely don't be tempted to source any stuff like this. You need to break the cycle and get rid of the urge to self-medicate like this...but not fall into a 'cross-addiction' trap (meaning you just replace it with something else). Maybe you could try a bit of deliberate 'cross-addiction'? How about when you feel stressed 'prescribe yourself' a course of deep controlled breathing. Imagine you're breathing cool, relaxing blue 'smoke' into yourself. Then blowing out hot, red angry smoke that is all your stress. Take ten minutes of treatment maybe? How about giving that a try for me? And see how you go? X
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i remember asking them in 2010 when i first found this place and in case you dont know they are attack questions and im not really sure at all if MissyMeliss uses this site anymore but for all our sake can you delete them or block them from this site and make sure that nomore attack questions would be necessary thank you . (link)
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Sorry, I don't have the faintest idea what this is all about. Trying 'contact us' and addressing the site administrator via email would be your best option here I should imagine? There are ways and means, I'm sure. But you need the boss. Best of luck.
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Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I have been struggling with anxiety for over a year now and I'm really getting sick of it. I've had nearly 11 or 12 panc attacks within the last two months. I find myself worrying about my breathing, I have pressure in my head and I always focus on my heartbeat. I have no history of any medical problems so I'm clueless as to why I'm so concerned, other than the fact that about two months ago, I drank a glass of Mountain Dew (and see I began working at a McDonald's and started drink coffee and tea and side ALL the time.) and I guess my body reacted to the caffeine and my heart sped up and I panicked. Since then I've started doing breathing exersises, but sometimes I just have this "unreal" feeling. Like, I feel spaced out? Is this a normal thing with bad anxiety? I'm really looking for an answer. (Also I have totally stopped the caffeine and excess sugar intake) any advice is helpful, thank you. (link)
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Hi. Of course a 'sugar' rush or/and a heap of caff. can produce the 'rabbit in the headlights', phased, heart flutters you're feeling. But only for very brief periods. Your levels calm, neither can be retained in your body and a bit of an 'o.d.' if you like, of either won't do long-term or permanent damage. You've identified it correctly as anxiety attacks, but what's that all about? Basically your body is going into 'threat response' mode, kitting-up for 'fight or flight'. It's wired in us from our somewhat more feral past, and can still save our lives...in a fire for instance. Now your threat isn't a physical one, but to your ancient and deep 'mammalian' mind and nervous-system it's all the same, the response is identical. You need to work at identifying the thoughts and/or situations which 'trigger' your alert response and defuse them. Then the disturbing feelings will cease. Bit deeper than too many energy drinks, but a common and natural enough event and nothing to freak-out over. Specially now you're holding all the cards. You're in control...sort it out mate!!
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Lately,my mother has been flirting with me!!! She is 42,and im 21. We have always been very close,but now I see her in a new way!! As soon as my.stepdad leaves for work,she changes clothes!!! She will wear tiny shorts,low cut tops etc. and acts normal!! My cock betrays me and gets huge everytime!!! She sees how hard I am and just smiles !!! My mom looks alot.like Sharon Osbourn,and has big full british tits!!! She loves showing them off,almost completly!!!! What should I do?? (link)
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Slightly different angle...is it possible that she might be flirting with a neighbour, or someone she meets in every day 'office hours' life? While her partner is at work? Do you spend a lot of time purely together, or does she seem to spend time in the garden, around the local area etc in her skimpy shorts and so on? Maybe a younger guy, and she's pleasantly amused at seeing she can sexually arouse a younger man easily...proving she's still 'got it'? At 21 you are more likely to find situations very confusing, by 42 you've seen a lot of things. Don't worry too much at getting an erection and feeling excited by the sight of an obviously attractive woman, dressed in a way that's almost certain to please a guy. Even if it's a relative. The sexual response in a guy of your age will often have a 'mind of it's own' as it were, untroubled by conscience and ethics. I agree totally with adviceman here, if relieving yourself de-fuses the situation by all means do it. And if she's the object of your fantasy while you do it, then don't beat yourself up. In fact, dealing with it IN fantasy is a good way of dealing with the situation, it's a good 'safety valve' for handling situatuins we do not really want to face head-on in real life. Naturally, you should steer clear of actual physical realisation of the desir. It is NOT acceptable to have sex with your mother. True, it's not unheard of. Incestuous relationships DO occur. And in the 'heat of the moment' as you might say, anything can happen. Ultimately, such relationships are a dead-end and will most probably entail massive and long-lasting emotional issues in both of you afterwards. Ones that neither of you can forsee. But remember, desire is not the same as acting upon it...so try to keep the mental and physical aspects apart. As for confronting her, I'd definitely try and find out whether there's an un-related local chap in the picture...or it might be an action you'll badly want to undo! You mention that you are close, if the relationship would stand a lighthearted 'Mum...you're giving me a hard-on in those tight shorts and flashing your boobs...go easy...it's worrying me!' type comment then you could maybe drop it in at a relaxed and opportune moment. And be set to watch her immediate response carefully. But this of course depends very much on the state of your regular mother/son relationship. I've tried to answer this in some depth here, hope it might shed some light or give you a few ideas. Neither of you are, I assure you freaky or weird even if there is an innapropriate sexual attraction there at the moment. It's an area of the human psychological mechanism which is well researched and has been understood for a VERY long time. It's really about dealing with it in an acceptable and harmless way. Long-term the desire to bond emotionally and physically with partners we are NOT related to is much stronger. Hope I may have helped, sounds like you're 'proper vexed' as you might say. Bets wishes.
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I go to Russia every summer and last year I met this wonderful darling cat that I just fell in love with. It is a girl and she was pregnant when I met her. One day when I was walking with my mom the cat was meowing so I petted her for around five minutes and then I asked my mom if we could get her some food. We gave her food and she was very thankful! So then we ended up feeding her everyday. I begged my mom if we could bring her back home but she said no because it would be too expensive and we already have a cat but he's mean! So my question is, will she remember me? I even gave her a name! Kisa! And whenever I called her she came running even if she was all the way down on another block!! I miss her bunches and I want to know if she'll still come when I call her and if she'll be happy? Thanks
I understand why we could not bring her. It would indeed be expensive, but sadly I am so sentimental in that way
yes I know touching a stray was potentially dangerous but I did it, and now what is done is done
the idea of being forgotten by anyone I made a connection with, even a cat, makes me sad. (link)
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Cats are remarkably intelligent and strays can have a huge 'territory' and cover great distances of a night. They tend to remember people who have shown them kindness, and stay well away from places where they've found the opposite. I'm sure she'll remember you. Stray dogs tend to be rounded-up, or become very thin and die living wild. Cats are far more properly wild. They can live, look after and feed themselves. By 'scrounging' and real hunting (they'll commonly catch and eat birds or mice). They don't generally live into their mid to even late teens like pampered pets. It's a harder life but six to eight years is not unusual, barring accidents or serious illness. Again, unlike a stray dog which quickly becomes very dejected, sorry for itself and pathetic, I'm inclined to believe the solitray, self-sufficient cat actually enjoys a life of freedom, with no master. They seem to anyway. They'll respond to a bit of fuss, love an unexpected meal or milk and will scamper about and play with you if you pull a bit of string or something, looking quite happy. Bit like 'barn cats' who you see, they live around outbuildings but you don't ever own them. And they just don't dare come in the house. I'm sure little Kisa was thankful and will remember your fondly. And in that 'catty' way, she's probably pretty happy doing her own thing.
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the Beatles have launched their music careers in the 1960s all the girls went crazy over them and made them their talk of their craze they became very popular among everyone even after breaking up in the early 1970s and never got back together becuase John Lennon died in 1980 and George Harrison died in 2001 but Paul Mccartney and Ringo Starr are still around but in the late 1990s new boybands launched their careers and became popular the Backstreet Boys Nsync and 98 Degrees but they didint measure up to the Beatles then came the Jonas Brothers whos popular was only temporary and then Big Time Rush now One Direction who wont stay popular but people are still buying Beatles mercendise even some people younger then me like the Beatles is that confusing (link)
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Think we have to look at the songwriting skills of John Lennon and Paul McCartney here, rather than the band in itself to explain the long, long life of the Beatles. In fairness, you might say Bob Dylan did not have a great voice and was not really a spectacular musician either. But listen to the music, listen particularly to the WORDS and you'll see why he too transcends time & fashion. They also captured what's elegantly called in German the 'zeitgeist' which transliterates as 'ghost of the time' (or 'sprirt of the age' if you prefer). They defined they era far more than the era defined them, if you see what I mean. Some lead, others follow.
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so my bf and I have planned for ages that he would lose his V-card on his birthday.
However, I will be on my period then, and I don't fancy doing it.
How do I tell him, when he's been looking forward to this day for weeks, without making him feel disappointed? (link)
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I think it's quite fair to say that women don't generally enjoy having sex during their period and you have a very sound reason for not giving him his birthday treat, as it were! You're not being childish or difficult or anything here. Tell him he'll have to hang onto it for a while...maybe pleasure him in an alternative way?? I'm sure he'll understand if you simply tell him. Don't think many guys would enjoy it either, certainly never appealed to me.
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I had antivirus software, when I start my computer and after windows loads, the screen jumps to a pay site and locked me out of my applications. thing kept on popping up on the computer every time I tried to use the internet, it said I had a virus and I needed to purchase it. I couldn't click on the internet or use it to protect the computer. We paid $200 for it and once we paid the money, it never downloaded on the computer and it just went away. Now I can click on the internet. Was it a scam? How did it get on the computer? (link)
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Yes, this is what's called a 'denial of service' attack. The people you paid to unlock your computer are the ones who locked it up. For certain. I would act quickly as they are usually not content with just taking the agreed amount to 'rescue' your computer once they have your bank or card details. Check your transactions asap. This is not paranoia or a wind-up. This type of attack is very common recently as payments are strongly encrypted now and hard to crack. Tricking people into GIVING their details accounts for over 80 percent of fraudulent transactions now. My sis works in this stuff, trust me. ps. They're usually random 'drive-by' style attacks that get round your firewall/av software. Often a 'pop-up' appears saying 'a virus scan has been started....'etc. Like your real av software does. It scares you by saying it's found bad stuff. So you let it 'run'. It's actually downloading the malicious code. Get your real av software updated and or patched and then do a complete system scan. Or chances are your machine/ ip address will be hit again, soon. Crap world, innit??. pps. Meant sis works in preventing security breaches, NOT DOING IT!!
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I am dating a guy at the moment. We are together for nine months , but I don't feel the way I felt for him in the begining.I just don't love him anymore.He loves me a lot.If I break up with him now , a blame is clearly on me.My best friend is always really serious about relationships and she want me and my boyfriend to be together.I didn't tell her anything yet.I am in a break with my boyfriend.I have no idea about what i should do now.What do i tell him?What do I tell my best friend?Please Help! (link)
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You have to tell your boyfriend that you feel that the relationship just isn't working for you, and that you feel it's necessary to end it rather than keep up sort of pretence. You know that he loves you but you cannot return such a strong emotion anymore. Embrace the 'blame' you mention. Tell him it IS about you, it's your 'fault' if you like and it's not a reflection on him. This should stall any scene where he might offer to change, or try harder etc. It is nearly impossible to argue rationally or meaningfully with someone who accepts full personal responsibility for their actions. Like a guilty plea in law needs no case for the defence. It's a bit of psychological play-acting possibly but if it does the job more cleanly and kindly...it's a good thing. Try the same rationale with your friend. Make the explanation match what you told him. And tell her this is also being 'serious about relationships'....by recognising and accepting when one is over. You'll do the right thing I reckon.
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don't say any thing enlse its a way to kill my self painlessly (link)
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This is impossible to really answer, as I am not am authority on painless suicide, and you do not want me say anything else. Thoughts of 'making an end of ourselves' can indeed be a sort of comfort, and maybe see us through the blackest nights and darkest places our minds and hearts ever know. But all nights end. There is always a dawn. Hold onto this thought. And if you need a candle, maybe tell me more? But I won't give you a suicide manual. Take care. CJB
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Me and a really wonderful guy were talking. Just as friends because we relatively just met before that but I developed a little crush on him. It wasn't anything serious at the time but later as we continued to talk, we became closer. He was going through a bad break up at the time when we started getting closer. And I took advantage of the fact that I could really get close to him by helping him out and genuinely supporting him. I never told him I liked him because at the time I wasn't 100% convinced I did like him a lot. He used to message me daily and talk to me all the time. You see, I'm a type of person who likes to get to know someone first before declaring my feelings. And I'm not the most confident person in the world to boldly admit I like someone. I was hoping as we got closer and time progressed and he healed from his pain, that things would be good between us to the point that he too realized he had feelings for me. Next thing I know, he was talking to another girl. I think they were just talking but then they got closer. She out right told him that she liked him, and went a little crazy about it posting it that she was in love, etc. she's got a really annoying bubbly personality. (I'm not saying this because of how I feel. Other people have said the same.) anyway, I was so disappointed when I found out he liked her. Like what the hell did I even mean to you? I help u through all your problems and this is how it ends. The girl is a nice girl and I think she has a good heart. He says she understands him. I'm pretty sure he told me he was glad I understand him. He says he doesn't want a relationship now and that they're just talking and he's not in love with her but it still hurts. She seems like a confident person. Whereas I like to give hints and hope you take it. He told me he's really good at reading people, well clearly not so much. What sucks more is that I see him and the girl a lot and it just breaks my heart each time to think about it. I really liked him and now I'm just sad with regret. I don't want a relationship right now and I told him that (during a regular convo). He told me the same goes for him. But now this is the situation. I don't want to tell him because that will make life for all of us complicated. I want to get over him and move on.:( (link)
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Hi. You have lots of sound answers. You might try reading back what you wrote yourself. This wonderful guy that you were there for and gave part of your heart to. The one you understand, want to be happy and still cannot condemn. You are in love with him, whether you want a 'relationship' or not. We cannot say that we will 'draw a line under' feelings like this and put an immediate end to them. Neither can we move on unless we truly want to. Break the contact and in time something will replace it, life has a way of doing this even if we do not really want it to. Or find some way of making these feelings known to him and see what fate might hold. Don't be afraid of 'complicated'. Nothing worth having is ever easy. If you have tried all in your power and it it's just not meant to be, at least you'll be free of that dreadful feeling we call 'regret'. Best wishes.
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Do the female in the porn videos get orgasms or they just fake it (link)
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Can totally verify adviceman49's description of how professional studio-based adult scenes/movies are shot and edited. The rather noisy and energetic female 'finishes' are the art of the actress. It is quite likely that many a wannabe amateur model or couple could simply 'perform' in front of a running camera until the female has an orgasm. But the slick studio scenes with the perfect, beautiful models, perfect lighting and quality lenswork? No. You can't just film in real-time and hope to get lucky! Just enjoy the enhanced fantasy the crew and models work hard to create.
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My boyfriend tells me he loves me all the time, but I'm kind of wondering if he has feelings for his bestfriend (His bestfriend is a girl). He always talks about her and he said that she comes first before everyone else, he would die for her, etc. I know I should trust my boyfriend, and I do - it's just it seems like he might have feelings for her. Any advice? (link)
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Quite tough to give you a definitive answer on this one. Personally I have had, and still have female friends where there is a very strong bond. Based on mutual respect, complete trust and loyalty. Or a sort of inexplicable 'connection' that is simply 'there'. And in which there is no spark of the powerfully emotional or physical desire which we associate with love! Could I say that I truly 'love them', but am not or never have been 'in love with them' and the same is true in return? His 'first before all others' and 'die for' rhetoric does seem a bit strong and I can see that you might find it a threat, or even an insult to yourself. The key might be to look at how you feel. Is he trying to find a way to show that he holds his friend in high esteem and possibly going a bit over the top? (Few of us after all will be called upon to actually 'die for' anyone in real life!!). Or do you really feel you are 'second best'? Is she free to be his girlfriend if you weren't around? Or does she have a partner? Does he resent her partner, if so? Can, or could the three of you get together and chat and socialise and all be relaxed and at ease? Of course, if you're his girlfriend it's YOU who should 'come first' every time there is any real exclusive choice to be made. And rightly so. The dynamics of human relationships are complex. All I can certainly say is that a man can be 'in love' with a woman and still have female friends he 'loves' very dearly. And these two 'different' loves can exist without conflict. Hope I've helped a little. Notice you age is 15 and possibly I wasn't as convinced of these different aspects of love then as I have become in the many years since. I seem to recall it all looked more 'black and white' then. Is your boyfriend what you might call emotionally mature? You seem to be, you've accepted a 'female best friend' and acknowledged the importance of trust in a relationship. Over to you then??
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Is rayon the same thing as cotton (link)
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No, cotton is a natural fabric, made as you'd guess from cotton which grows. Rayon is synthetic, meaning man-made. Cotton dries at a higher temperature and if you want to press it nicely you use a hot iron. Ironing rayon at this temperature will make it sort of melt and shrivel. I'd dry rayon on a line outdoors and if you press it don't turn the iron up too high.
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18/m
I apologize if this is in the wrong section.
First and foremost, I know smoking is bad for you. I am here for my question(s) not a lecture on my health. I have learned about smoking and tobacco products in school and from other people. It is my choice after all. Thanks!
I am not a very experienced smoker at all and I only have had a few cigs here and there. I don't even smoke a pack a month, which I'm proud of. I haven't ever had nicotine cravings or anything of that sort.
But I do want to learn about smoking cigars and what kinds are good for people just getting into that stuff. Any information will be helpful! Maybe any websites to visit?
What are good cigars for beginners? Best cigars out there?
What to expect when I go into a tobacco shop or Cigar shop?
Thanks! (link)
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Probably worth mentioning that you do not pull heavily on and deeply inhale the smoke from cigars. Because they are not cigarettes or made anything like the same. The smoke is hot and much more acidic. So you'll feel very sick and probably be sick and cough a lot. They're more sort of 'puffed at'. Think "Short, not deep take-back along with plenty of half open-mouth air, then puff it outt". Not dragged on. Are you thinking multi-packs of miniature cigars? You want to choose a good (to you) 'taste' in your mouth. Massive fat cannister cigars (Cohiba, Romeo Y Julietta?) and the like are very expensive, take ages to smoke and you should consider 'special occasion' items really. Not very pc of me but a fat cigar and a brandy on a great evening is something I greatly enjoy myself. Personally found that cheap big fat cigars are positively vile though...gotta be a good one. Living beyond my means as usual!!
Any help?
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So if you had sex with someone who wasn't totally a stranger (like a one night stand)but then left once the 'deed was done' and did not stay the full night and go to sleep, what would the other person (still in bed) be thinking? Or is this a fairly common occurrence? (link)
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Behaviourists often say that if the male remains affectionate, enjoys cuddles etc and holding a woman closely after sex it signifies an emotional connection. He's subconciously saying "I'm going to stay around." A rather detached attitude after sex (or leaving completely!)of course gives the opposite signal. I'm not sure if you were the 'other person' or he was and I don't know of any similar studies of the female post-sex behaviour. Don't know if that's any help. The behavioural pattern statement in my reply is genuine. And yes, I believe it's a fairly common occurrence!
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( Im 16 year old female. I feel like i hurt my mother. If shes disappointed in me and you want to say she'll always love me but i dont care. I dont want love. I feel selfish wanting love from someone who i hurt. I didnt even hurt her, she saw something that wasnt related to her at all and she went through it. Why did she stop is a question i cant bring myself to think about. I get sick to my stomach. I could pass out from the pain ) I want to die. Im sad. Im scared. Im worthless. I have nothing to do. Nothing to give. I cause other people pain just by existing an i dont want to do that. I dont want to hurt people. I stopped doing everythig. Its hard to just get myself to sower. Whats the point. Some of the reason why i honestly didnt cause. I feel like a whole other part is the result of my own doings. Something so small and an invasion of privacy led to my whole life crashing down in seconds. What is left. I dont feel bad for me. I cant. I hate myself too much. This isnt something i can just learn from and move on. Its somethig that was invaded of my personal life, and i hate hurting others. Why was seen hurt somebody. It was never ment to be seen. I cant live with myself. I hate this. I dont deserve to waste more time and space of those around me. This is my punishment i guess. This is my pain inflicted upon me. This is whats happening, it is what it is. I cant change it. Maybe I dont deserve to be able to. I feel like this will never end. I cant die but i want to. somebody please, have mercy on me. (link)
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You certainly seem to be in very intense emotional turmoil here. You feel things very deeply, perhaps? Some people do so far more than others. There's guilt, self-hate,and rage and a big desire for some sort of punishment crying out of your question. You feel a worthless waste of space, don't deserve to be loved? Don't even want to be loved? Now listen...the fact that this event has cut you up so badly is a VERY strong sign that you are NOT worthless. If you were, wouldn't you just dismiss it? Say 'Hey-Ho! I made a mistake...so what?' You wouldn't care. Fact is you do care. Strongly. Ever thought about what 'love' really means? It means patience, understanding, forgiveness. The acceptance that we are not perfect and neither is the loved-one. How could we possibly DO anything to deserve things like this? Love just IS. You've done your punishment if that's the word you want. You've learned that the power to love gives us equal power to hurt. And when we love, hurting a loved one inevitably means hurting ourselves. And knowing this makes you a very worthwhile and precious person indeed. Try not to turn the hurt on yourself. You're right...you CAN'T change it. But it will heal if you let it.
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Okay, well, I'm a 14 year old girl. Typical teen but everyday is like a constant reminder of how much I have failed. The weird thing is no one says anything to me. I wake up every day wondering what the fuck my life is about. I wake up every day feeling like a failure to everything. I talk to myself. I think myself as fat and I weigh 155. I feel so horrible about myself that it is effecting my personality. I used to be happy and hyper but lately at lunch at school everyone seems to be annoying to me. Everyone talks about the same damn things. I really feel like I can't get out of this so called slump. Trust me, I have no friends at all that I would consider good friends cause they all hate me and talk behind my back. I get fucking sick and tired of this shit. I don't know what to do. I don't like telling my parents or family about it nor do I go to my counselor I used to see. What's wrong and how can I fix it because I feel like i"m done. Completely done. :/ (link)
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Hi there. Don't trivialise yourself and listen to anything that suggests that 'you're a typical teen' and your're supposed to feel like that because of your age. Like it's just teen-stuff, something you just grow out of. It's really something you're 'growing in to'. You're no longer defined by your parents, no longer just their daughter with no proper personality of your own. With no independent thoughts or actions. And of course when we start to become responsible and accountable for our own actions...then feelings of failiure and questioning ourselves (what's life about, where am I going etc) will start to arise. You doubt friends (no longer just childhood 'mates' but proper people now) and then, yes they all drive you mad and annoy the hell out of you. That feeling of 'Hey...I'm hurting and my head's full of stuff that's messing me up...how come nobody can see it?' That's not an uncommon adult feeling either! The reason it's feeling so overwhelming is that it's new to you, you're having these thoughts for the first time. And the reason it seems that you're all over and washed-up is because you haven't lived and fought your way through them yet, and come out the other side. You will, and you'll have periods like this for all your adult life. And you'll have plenty of carefree, girlish laughs and good times too. You'll love a bit, hate a bit, hurt a bit, laugh a bit. The good and bad times are all part of adult life. They come and go. We handle them...you will too. One answer you've already dismissed will prove a lifelong help, I feel. That's the parents and 'friends' that don't understand. I think you'll find they DO understand, and the counsel of good true friends and family will be special to you all your life. Hang in there young lady!
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