Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

askSweet_LiL_Angel

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okay, sooo i'm in 9th grade and i've been really shy at school since kindergarden, I don't know why but whenever i'm around big groups of people I just get really nervous and shy. I'm not like this at home or whenever i'm hanging out with people outside of school it's only at school where I get like this. everyday I get asked why i'm so quiet, and i'm tired of people asking me that everyday. I wanna be myself at school, but my self esteem is soo low it's like impossible for me. I'm so worried about what people think about me also. What are some ways I can break out of my shell and be more outgoing? I want to prove to people, that i'm not all that quiet..

Oh and also today while at lunch this really really cute guy threw a peice of bread at me and asked why I was so depressed? I guess I looked depressed at lunch? is this a sign of him flirting with me or is he just being mean? because I took it personally and wanted to cry after that! (i'm really emotional) haha.

I want to fit in at school, I want to be noticed,
highschool's tough so any advice is good advice to me! I just need help :(

High school is very tough.
You just have to forget about being shy and over and over again think positive thoughts about your self. What things make you uncomfortable about your self? If you dont like something change it. Like me I hate my hair. I cant change it right this moment because im pregnant but thats okay.
When I was in high school I just talked to everyone. I had to say in my head who cares what people think who cares what people think. I tired to be friends with everyone. etc.

Q: 18/f
So I am scheduled to get my next birth control shot on Friday. I was also planning on going to a party later that night. I was wondering if alcohol has any effects with the depo provera birth control shot?? Thanks

A friend of mine was on the depo shot and drank she naver said anything about side effects or anything.

Q: Every time I make out with a girl I get a boner. is it normal to get a boner when making out with a girl? I get so embarrassed but she seems to like it when it happens so why is this!

13/m I feel like I need a learners permit for this thing! LOL!

yes it is normal. It just means when you are making out with a female you are being turned on.

Q: Is it bad to feel lonely. I just lost a few of my freinds, (backstabbing) and i feel like everyone just gangs up on me and treats me like I'm absolutely nothing. I'm just depressed. I dont't know. What should I do?

I know how you feel.
I moved to a new town in 2008
I dont have any friends and sometimes I feel lonely. Even though I have a husband who is always around.

You just have to get out there. ignore those who are treating you like crap and make friends they dont have to be the popular ones but someone you can talk to.

Q: Im almost 19 years old. I started going out with my highschool sweetheart 2 and a half years ago. She left me a few days ago, saying that she needed a break from everything. Ive asked if this is forever, or if she ever wants to get back with me and she says she doesnt know.

Weve been saying how we wanted to get married once I was done with college. We both moved to a new town 2 hours away from our hometown about 4 months ago, I moved there because she wanted to move there. Neither of us have any friends here. I dropped out of college here (I plan on going somewhere else) and I havent gotten a job yet. She has a job. She is literally the only thing I have in this town, and my lease isnt up for another 8 months. We both want to move back to our hometown.

Anyways, she left me! She broke up with me 6 times in the past 2 months, she took me back right away except for the last time. She also just started hanging out with an old friend (a guy). She is not attracted to him at all, she says she only hung out with him to make me upset, and she doesnt want to hang out with him again. Why would she want to make me more upset if shes the one who left me? She says she still loves and cares about me, and wants to stay my best friend. But she wants zero contact for awhile.

The night after she hung out with this guy for the first time, she called me and told me what happened and was crying and said she regretted it. She asked me to pick her up (it was 1am) She said that she just wanted a break from me, but for sure wanted to get back with me someday. She then started kissing me and we talked all night, and she slept in my arms. I took her home in the morning. After that, she said that night only happened how it did because she was upset and tired. Also, when she broke up with me a few times ago, when she was taking me back and crying, she told me to never give up on her, that shes just really emotional because she hates living in this town and her job and everything.

Last night we saw each other, and we ignored the fact we broke up. We were talking and laughing, and we even held hands (we were driving back to our hometown). I felt alot better, but when we went back home, and I asked her how she felt about me, she said she still doesnt know and needs to take a break, and doesnt know if shell ever want me back. So now, were trying not to talk or see each other at all. Im so confused, and I dont know what to do! Also, im stuck in this town with no one and nothing! Shes all I had here. Any help, on anything? Thanks

She may wanting a break because you aren't working you aren't in school any more. My husband doesnt work and doesnt really look and it drives me crazy. I wish hed try and get a job.

Q: I'm a 15 year old female physically active with very soon-to-be 18 year old guys. One is a fuck buddy who raped me at age 14 but for some reason after it all happened I was too confused to leave. The other's my good friend. They're both 18 in less than a month. Is this illegal and, if so, am I putting either of them in any danger?
thanks

Hun I am going to say this first. I was raped at 13 I had my virginity stolen from me and had sex with guys for the hell of it. It was my way of dealing with it. I hate myself for that but I can't change the past. yeah it'll probably be illegal but I had sex with only older guys. i sm 18 my husband is 23.

Q: okay boyfriend trouble. i've been dating this guy for about a month now and im a little confused. i can tell he has very strong feelings for me and he knows i have strong feelings for him too. but he hasn't said i love you yet.. i don't get it. i mean all my ex's had said it way earlier than a month. he's almost said it like 3 times but i have this wierd feeling telling me he's afraid to say it cause he doesn't know what my reaction will be. i know im intimidating at times but i try to soften my expression whenever im with him. what can i do to make him not scared to say it? without losing my way of spitting game and without saying it first. any advice would be grand:) thank ya.

A lot of guys are different. Ecspecially ones that are more emotional than others. Give him time and let him know you love him show your feelings be a flirt with him.

Q: I have some terrible armpit odor and I don't know why. It started about two months ago or more and it just will not go away! I was using ivory bar soap and I switched to Tom's of Maine Natural deodorant bar soap (unscented) and it helped for, literally, two days. When I realized that the soap was no longer helping my body odor (and it seemed to get stronger and more rancid) I tried switching to the Dial antibacterial soap (the gold bar). It worked for about a week and then no longer did it's job either but did help some.

During this time I tried a few different deodorants to help keep the bacteria under my arms in control (what I assume the problem actually is). I tried Naturally Fresh Roll On Deodorant Crystal, Tom's of Maine Natural Long-Lasting Deodorant Stick (Apricot scented), Home Health Deodorant Herbal Magic Roll On(unscented), and Alvera All Natural Roll-On Deodorant Aloe (unscented). I wanted to try to stay away from the aluminum in other deodorants so that's why I choose the more natural kinds.

Anyway, nothing will cut this onion odor! I am trying not to eat smelly foods, especially onion, and it doesn't seem to make a difference at all. It's embarrassing and I am afraid to go out in public like this. What can I do? It smells within 10 minutes after I get out of the shower even if I apply deodorant right away and it only gets worse during the day. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Okay I am not sure if you are male or female. I tried to tell by the type of deodarant and soap but Im not sure so Ill answer for both

Female: I used to sweat really bad growing up like under my arms it was nasty. So finally i us Scent deodarant. it works wonders. I dont use the gel. Body wash i use like just the cheap stuff liqud soap.

Male: My husband uses Ax.

Q: 13/f
well... about two days ago it started hurting to walk then today i found out that there is a little lump, about twice as big as a pin head on the inside of my thighs, well in between downstairs and my thighs. it really hurts to touch and its red. has anyone ever had anything like this? what should i do??
any help would be appreciated.
thanks in advance
:)

it could also be an ingrow hair. google in grown hair

Q: My husband and I have been together 21 years (15 married). We have a 3 year old child we both love very much. And we want each other to always be a constant in our child's life. But we are going to separate/divorce. We have discussed continuing to live together but like roommates. We cannot afford two households. I was so OK with this that when he said he had ED and was too embarassed to pick up his Viagra Rx, I picked it up for him ($20/pill btw) THEN hubby does a 180 and says he doesn't want it to end and he wants to work on us so we can be happy together ... so we ended up having sex... Now I find out he's IMing an old girlfriend with "I love you" and "I had a sex dream about you" and "I'm so lucky and proud to be with you". !!!He used me to see if his dick still worked!!! I haven't confronted him about these messages yet. I don't want to be the one to rip our child away from daddy but I can't live with him. 21 years. sounds like a prison sentence. and to imagine another 15 at least... I am a stay at home mom with no income and no local family to take me in. I need some advice.

There are plenty of ways to get on your feet and with income tax here its golden. first off hun i am sure you know this but you do not have to live with your ex husband just for him to be in his childs life. set up visitation. tell him its not going to work out us living together and you seen his messages on the computer. you dont have to make it messy but you are the mother the child your child will automatically life with you. now i know stay at home mom is perfect but itll be time to get a job. there is governemnt housing until you get on your feet go your your local job and family services get hooked up with food stamps and temp assitance. find a job. everything will work out.

Q: I have been on birth control pills for over three years now. I stopped having my period about 6 months after I started taking them. I take them daily and for the past week I have been having spotting. It isn't heavy enough to call a period but it is kind of heavy for spotting. I am not pregnant (took two tests) but I have no idea what it could be. I have no health insurance so going to a doctor would be really difficult to do. Does anyone have any idea why this would be occurring?

Thank you!

Have you tried going to like an urgent care. not the hospital but its like a free clinic. You may have had a misscarriage since birth control isnt 100% accurate. thats all i can think.

Q: Hi, I'm a 17 year old girl and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We love each other very much and we've been talking about giving oral to each other, I know it should be based on if we're comfortable with each other but I just want to know what other people think, am I too young? thank you for you're time, your response really means a lot to me.

Its more if you feel like your ready. I am not a good person to answer this question since I was a teen mother. now im adult with a child but same thing. Any who saving sex until marriage is a great idea. its more romantic and I wish i could of have that experience with my husband.

Q: I hate one of my wife's best friend. We just went out with the couple and I had a terrible time. My wife and I ended up having a huge fight over this. Any ideas on what I can do?

My husbands friend I can not stand his wife and we have argued about it. But since im pregnant and we dont go to the bar or anything so they don't call us to do so. Sometimes you just have to deal with it. Dont go out all the time.

Q: okay well im dating this guy, we are a couple hours distance and only see each other on the weekends usually. Well lately he has been blowing me off. He told me no sometime last month because he was goin to see his friends indtead so i was like okay. I offered to pick him up that week and take him here to a few days and he was like no the weather is bad I got upset but got over it. Then the next weekend i was able to use my grandmas car again, but she wouldnt have known about it. I offered to pick him up once again and he told me no the weather is bad. I flipped out and started screamin and crying and we almost broke up. I overeacted i admit. But it had been three weeks since i had seen him at all. Well that next weekend my sister got ahold of a car for me and i saw him. I went to see him and i found on his phone text messages from his ex that were to friendly. I had recenlty got pissed at him before that because he was talking to her when i toldh im not to. He just told me to get over it. I just told him that i dont trust them two together because of there past and I had found myspace messages where she had mssaged him sayin they needed to get together and "get it on" I had perfect reasoning to want him to stay away from her. so I got pissed about the text messages of course. I didnt snap or anything i just called him a lier and told him to get off of me because he had wrestled me down to get his phone. Well I left and ever since then he has been a complete ass. He tells me im a wife and says that he intentionally ignores me. Well its been about a month since ive seen him. Next weekend will be a month. I was supposed to go see him not this weekend but the last but he said he was wanting to go see his friends and i was like okay thats fine but i told him to stay away from his ex, thats the only reason i was uptight about it and hes like alright and called me a wife. Well it turned out he couldnt go that weekend and didnt tell me till that sunday. He said he would leave tuesday and be back friday so we made plans to see each other this weekend. Well teusday comes around and he cant go then. So i tell him okay when i come see you this weekend ill take you over there sunday and you can spend the whole week there. He didnt reply. THursday i call him and hes like your gonna be pissed and im like why. HEs like im goin to south bend(his friends) this weekend. I did get pissed. I didnt yell at him but i was bitchin, i told him tha he nver takesme into consideration and that its all about him and that i told him id take him there sunday and he could have all week there. He was like well they have been waitin to see me its "mandatory" I cried a little because thats what happens when i get mad. HE called me a wife again. WEll i have barely eard anythng from him since he's been there and he usally tried to ignore me some. So i called him again friday morning and i asked him i was like you wanna be with me right? He was like yea, i said then what is it i do wrong, why dont you ever talk to me, what is it i need to fix. He was like nothing your fine. I was like obviously not if you dont talk to me. HEwas like like nothing your perfect. SO i dont know. Do you think im overreacting about seeing him? and do you think i overreacted about his ex gurl?

No you are not over reactting about his ex. more and likely he is seeing someone else and keeping you talking to him so if that does not work out he has you as a rebound. My older brother dated a girl in Cali. when he was living there. he lived a few hours away from her and shes blow him off all the time. (this was his ex and he was trying to work things out wit her) she had been cheating on him the whole time while he was trying to work things out. Hun you can do so much better than a guy who ignores you all the time. There are more than enough guys out there that will want to spend time with you .

Q: I'm petite but a size 32D in bras.

I've gone to Target, Charlotte Russe, and Macy's...they're either terrible quality or don't have past size C.

Are there any good bra places that really aren't too much? I know of Victoria's Secret, but I don't have $40 to spend on each bra.

thanks.

I worked at Wal Mart in Lingerie and if you really look around you will find 32D bras in the pretty bras. I dont think the boxed ones are that pretty some arnt that bad. Also sports bras give you a good fit and fashion bug

Q: Okay so me and my boyfriend have only been dating for like a month or so.We just started doing sexual things..not much.I just gave him a handjob and i don't plan to go any further until next month.The only thing that I noticed is he doesn't shave !!!! I shave completely and i never have any hair down there and i don't mind that he has some hair,but he has ALOT and I don't know how to tell him to get rid of it without being awkward.it doesnt bother me that much,but i still find it sort of unappealing.He hasn't had a girlfriend before me in like 4 months,so he hasn't done anything since but you'd think he'd shave now that he has me! I was thinking about waiting a while when we are more comfortable but i don't know how to say it! help!

He may not want to shave or trim. My husband does not and I dont think I every dated a guy who did.

Q: we're not officially together, we're just dating to get to know each other currently. i haven't known him that long, so what would be a good gift to give him? he's 23, 5'8", and he's a professional poker player, that's all i can think of right now, haha. thanks for the help!

A picture of the two of you.
Its hard for me because im sure my husband who is 23 isnt into the same stuff as your boyfriend. My husband likes hunting, knifes, fireman stuff, hats, boats,etc.
cd of his favorite band?

Q: I had a miscarriage in October 3 and a half weeks into my pregnancy. I didn't suspect I was pregnant until a couple days before the miscarriage so for about two weeks prior to that I had drank probably four times, was under a ton of stress due to college and I was drinking multiple cups of coffee a day. I always thought that my drinking and stress caused the miscarriage and when it first happened I was more in shock than anything, then relieved that I wouldn't be having a baby when I was 18.
Its all hitting me now that I was almost a mother but I keep having the thought that I'm the reason my baby didn't survive. I don't know what to do, I'm an emotional basket case from it. Every time I see a baby I get all choked up and now my boyfriend (father of the almost baby)'s sister is pretty sure that she's pregnant but she's still waiting to take a test and I'm getting all excited for it.

I just want to know how I can get past all of this, I end up crying almost daily.

It isn't your fault. You didnt know you were pregnant with you had been drinking. Miscarriages can happen for all sorts of reasons. I believe everything happens for a reason and your reason happened to be you werent ready. Babies are amazing and life changing and oh when i mean life changing your life changes. wait a few more years before trying to get pregnant so you can have a good home and your money in order for your buddle of joy. think of it as god giving you the chance to be ready next time.

Q: Today on the bus some girl said there wa a difference between a blowjob and giving head so i said i was going to google it and see and google brought me to this website.

there is no difference.

Q: ok so my mom has her girlfriend and we kind I don't get along because of the way she treats her kids... I mean she beats them for no aparent reason so I don't like that because my mother don't do that's to us so I don't think that's fair.. So my mom punched me in the face for not taking my medication so I wanted to make a couple calls. Then my mother & I talked the next night that led to straight bull... I mean she basically kicked me out to live with my dad in NY and I lived in MD... I have three little sisters 2 seven yr olds and a 12 year ok I been gone fie a week and I miss them soooooooo much...!! How can I get my mother back... I miss her and love he please help

I live in Mo as well. Call and complain. if all your siblings have the same father ask your dad to help you. talk to the Mo police department in your town talk to the ny department talk to social services.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.