I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173024
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Triple G- does being 59 pounds at 13 years make you anorexic? (link)
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Anorexia is a specific medical condition that involves extreme counting of calories, severely restricting food intake, hyper exercise, etc. If these don't apply to you, then you aren't anorexic.
This doesn't mean, however, that you aren't underweight. The best person to tell you the appropriate weight for you is your doctor.
There are also websites where you can plug in your height, weight, age, and ethnicity to find an average weight.
The fact that you're asking this question would suggest that you feel concerned about your weight, though. While internet medical sites can give you a good starting point, there's no substitute for the advice of a health care professional.
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Alison marie- it's triple G, I swear this is the last time I'll write today, CUZ I have hw to do. But do, you think like, my family and I are too harsh on eachother? I mean, my dad is harsh on my mom because he makes her do everything I don't do, my mom is harsh on me becuase she never believes me, i'm harsh on my sis becase I expect her to be a good little sister, smart, and straight too, and my whole family is harsh on me because their hard to talk to and never listen.
Anyway you feel, you can say, I won't get offended. (link)
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Everyone in your family should be able to be who they are - neatnick, lesbian, trustworthy, etc. If people are placing unfair expectations on others, then that could cause problems.
And if those unfair expectations are delivered by yelling, constricting development, or being emotionally hurtful - then yes, that sounds a little harsh.
The only person you can be responsible for, though, is you. This means that you can carefully think about how you respond to other people's demands, as well as what demands you are placing on others.
Sometimes all it takes to change an entire family's dynamics is for one person to change.
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Before I tell you my question, lemme ask you another one? Is alison marie answering my questions or is some other person doing it? be honest, because my questions are being answered quickly. Too quickly. It's suspicious. So could you answer that question for me?
Yes, so with my mom suspecting me, I always have been helping around since I was six. She was trying to not raise me to be like my father, where you will find his socks everywhere. I'm very organized, I vacuum and wipe the apartment up every Friday, and believe me, this apartment is huge. I even bathed my sister, and sometimes take bubble baths with her. I take the trash out, I even clean the toilet (blech!) I do this without being asked to, and without getting paid. Need more responsibility, or should I do something else with the 'She won't believe me problem? (link)
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Any questions submitted to this site are answered by yours truly, Alison Marie. Sometimes I'll get questions while I'm currently online. If I'm not doing something else, I'll respond right away. Sometimes the questions come when I'm not online, and it could take me a couple of days to reply. I'm human, I promise.
Now, onto your question. Maybe you could point out to your mother how much you actually do around the house. Do this during a time that you are both calm, and you have a clear goal in mind. Perhaps this goal would be taking yourself swimming - you can say something like, 'Mom, I feel I'm very responsible. I enjoy helping out around the house, and my grades are always really good. I feel ready to get myself to and from swimming, and here's how I plan to do it...' etc etc.
Best of luck.
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Triple G, has it been like twenty hundred times i've written to you? Sorry,but as much as I give you long stories, I miss the points. When it came to my grades, you asked me about my work? Well, I do all for each class, never missed one. I hand in all projects on time and usually get an 85 or above on them? So what more do I need to do to soar, shine, and succeed?
I TOTALLY RATE 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Only your teachers can tell you what they expect for certain grade levels. They should be able to offer examples of excellent work, very good work, etc etc. This can help set criteria for you to meet.
If you are working in a geniune way towards really succeeding, that's the most important thing. You may find that your teachers can offer you hints to excel, or you may decide that you are genuinely hitting the level that you work at.
Either way, you are well above average and can feel proud of your work. Getting the highest grade doesn't necessarily mean you've worked the hardest - you may not get perfect scores every time but it definitely sounds as if you are working hard and learning a lot.
That's a big accomplishment.
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Triple G- again for today. Before I go to my actual question let me just say this- HOW DID YOU ANSWER MY QUESTIONS SO QUICK?!!!I mean, I was gonna ask you another question, then all of a sudden, the computer went from the get advice page to you column. You already answered my question in like an hour. You are unbelievable. I'll give you my compliments. I can fullheartedly say I rate 5!!!
Yes so, to my question. One day, when I was walking to pick up my sister, MLE was going to pick up her brother. They go to different schools, but MLE and I take the same route to get to the schools. I was calling my mom on my phone. MLE likes to joke around at times, and then she was all like ooh, is that your boyfriend? She knows I don't have one, but she was joking. My mom heard, and ever since then, she has been suspecting me of it. MLE told mom on the phone I did'nt that she was joking, that I don't have one. Mom wouldn't listen. Anytime I tell mom that I don't she's like ' I don't need lies from you.' What should I do?
p.S., if you can answer this in the next hour, I'll write to you forevr. You can get me through h.s. and maybe college, and frver, of course, maybe you'll die bfre that. (link)
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It sounds as though your parents aren't pleased that their 'little girl' is growing up. If you're telling your mom the truth, there's nothing more you can do.
You can try to explain to her that you are hurt she won't believe you, but if she doesn't listen, you're stuck. While you can't control her actions, you CAN control your reactions. Staying calm will help, as will not bringing up the subject unless she asks.
You also can volunteer to take on additional responsibility like taking your sister swimming - this does two good things for you.
First, it helps your parents learn to trust you more. Second, it gives you some much needed independence.
You know what you are or are not doing, and it can be unnerving for your parents to accept that you are getting older and becoming responsible for your own actions. It might take them time to learn to accept the situation, but as long as you stay calm and level-headed, you have done nothing wrong.
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okay - so i have a gyncologist appt. in a month, and i am sooooo nervous. i don't know what to expect! i'm going to the same one as my mom, so i'm guessing he's a pretty normal guy. my mom asked me if i wanted a girl instead, but i really didn't think it would matter (and it doesn't, it's still as nervewrecking to me). what should i do? like .. before i go? do i need to like .. shave? lol i don't know what to expect either - like my mom told me he does a breast exam and that i have to lay down and he has to stick a q-tip like thing in to check for cancers and stuff. but what does it feel like .. or like .. what else should i expect?!
help! ♥ (link)
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There's not much you have to do to prepare for a visit to the gyno. It's not necessary to shave; it's more important for you to feel comfortable. The doctor will have seen every size and shape of vagina, so he won't care about your pubic hair.
It is helpful to have a wash on the day, and perhaps to do a little research so you know what to expect.
There are a few stages of the exam, and a good doctor will talk you through each of them so you know what to expect. You can also tell him you're nervous prior to the exam, as this will let him know he needs to reassure you.
The internal exam usually involves the doctor putting a speculum into your vagina; this holds open your cervix while the doctor swabs the cells. This should not hurt, though it may feel uncomfortable if you are not used to things in your vagina. The doctor will lubricate the speculum to help it ease in.
The doctor may also insert one of two fingers and push down on your tummy from the outside, checking for any unusual lumps or bumps.
Finally, he will probably give you a breast exam. Again, this does not hurt. He'll just press your breasts, rubbing in small circles, checking for abnormalities.
The whole thing is over quite quickly, and you'll probably be surprised at how easy it was. It does help if you are relaxed, as this eases the internal exam. You can bring along music if that helps, or just take slow, deep breaths.
You'll do fine. Best of luck!
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triple G, i'm sorry, i just have so much questions in my life that can finally be answered. Is it normal to have two different sized feet? One is size 4 1/2, the other, size 2?
thanx, do i bother you too much? sorry (link)
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It's normal to have two slightly different size feet, but most people can comfortably wear the same size shoes on both feet.
With a wider gap, a doctor would be able to access the situation and let you know if there was anything to be concerned about. Thinking back to your earlier question about a limp, this could be related.
If a doctor gives you the all-clear, you'll just need to make sure you are wearing the appropriate sized shoes. This might mean buying two pairs of the same shoes so that you can wear the right size on each foot.
Though this is pricey, it'll help your feet long term. It's important to allow your feet room to develop naturally and fit comfortably in a shoe. Cramping the larger foot means that you could end up with bone problems.
If you can't afford two pairs of shoes, buy for the larger foot. You can wear a thicker sock on the smaller foot.
Either way, let a doctor check things out, as he/she might have other options for you.
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Thanx for da first advice you ever gave me, about going into orther things than investigating in my sister. For weeks, I've begged my mom to take me back to swimming class at the YMCA that my building is right next to. Iude to go their when I was 5, and then for three yeares, because I was like, the best youngest swimmer ever, I was like so popular. Then the little sister who will grow to be some sick masturbator today was born. I actually begged for such a thing, though I treat her like my blood and flesh. So when she was born, I couldn't go back, because when I was eight, I couldn't even walk one yard out of the building by myself to the YMCA, my dad wouldn't tkae me, and mommy had to take of of the perverted little infant brat, yet respectful little sister. When I was 11, my mom took me back. Can you believe I was still known there?! Yeah, so I swam for three months, then stayed home again. That time, we were learning to touch the big scary drain at the bottom of the pool, stay there for ten seconds, then swim the 12 feet up to the surface of the water. So fun. I'm going back again, and for the last time. It's getting expensive, and money is tight. My little sister is starting now too. I'm starting next Friday, she's starting next Saturday. We went for the Free Swim, where any members can swim. She was scared a t first, but with that square thing the lifeguard strapped to her to make her float, and the noodle I gave her to put under her arms, she was okay. In fact, I was going to the deep side, to touch the drain. When I came back to the shallow side to check on my sister, she wasn't there. It turns out that she took her noodle, put it over that strange ball thing that separates the deep water from the shallow, swum under it and came to me. She is good. I was so proud of her. Unfort., lifeguard yelled at me, saying that I put my sisters life in danger. Screw the lifeguard, I did nothing. Like old times, my sister and I were happy. Then agin, we're always happy, except when I think I her sick life behind my back. But she doesn't do it anymore, for some reason. Now she takes her Barbie dolls, and turns them into lesbians by making them takes of theri clothes and lie on top of eachother. Sickness, I tell you. But other tan thant, we're like best friends, and we trust each other. Thanks for your advice. irate 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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I'm happy to hear that you've been getting involved with swimming again. It's nice to have a hobby outside of the home and school, as it's a chance to focus on something you really enjoy just for the sake of it - not because you have to enjoy it.
I'm also glad you are getting along with your sister, although you might want to think carefully about some of the things you've said. You clearly are unhappy that she might masturbate, when in fact this is a healthy, normal activity that many people engage in - regardless of their age. Likewise, she's just engaging her curiousity about the human body with her dolls.
This does not make her a lesbian. However, if she feels close to you and looks up to you, it's important that you think about how you want to portray yourself to her. If she thinks you could be homophobic or closed-minded, what impact could that have on your relationship when she gets older? Or your relationship now?
It's a lot to think about, but it can be a huge responsibility to be an older sister. Your sister clearly really cares for you - even when it comes to swimming into deeper and unknown waters to follow you!
Enjoy the pool.
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Triple G... last time today, I promise *(or do I?) but from the day I was born, I've had this leg problem. Everytime I walk, it's like I'm doing a bad imitation of a model. not on purpose, I naturally walk like that. Have any idea what it is?
Inherited from my dad ( mentally ill dad) I have bad eyes. No, i'm talking really bad. Whenever I go to the opthamologist to get new glasses, they always say wait a few days, they need to order a lens this thick, that normally not many people have these kinds of eyes. I'm gonna have laser surgery ( not now or in the next 10 years) but I was just wondering if it would hurt. My dad had laser surgery but his eyes got bad again, so he still wears glasses, though not as thik as they used to be. By the time I get laser surgery, probably when I'm in my late twenties, early thirties do you think they will come up with a less painful way? People I've asked said that the laser surgery hurt, including my dad. I rate 5. (link)
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I'm not sure what a bad imitation of a model would be, so it's hard for me to answer this part of your question. The main thing I wonder about is pain - if this causes you physical discomfort or pain, it's important to see a doctor.
As for your eyes, there's no telling what sort of advances could be made in laser surgery. Right now, there are about three main surgeries, and each is done differently (and has different possible side affects). Medical techonology is always developing at a fantastic rate, so whatever we have available to us now will only be bigger and better by the time you decide to have this surgery.
Some considerations in light of current standards would be exactly how bad your presciption was. Beyond a certain point, many surgeons will not perform the operation.
However, that may not be a consideration in 15 years time. In the meantime, ask your doctor about getting ultra-thin lenses. They're made out of a high index material which allows them to be much thinner - you can also ask about the shape of glasses that is best suited to you.
The bit that your pupil looks through is much thinner than the edges of the lenses, so a smaller frame might help chop off some of the thicker sides.
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Triple G....... foreva
What in the world is a french kiss? (link)
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A french kiss is an open mouthed kiss using tongues. The tongues might come out to touch each other, or go into the other person's mouth.
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Triple G once more.
I hope that you aren't getting annoyed with me. It's like what I stated the 1st time I wrote to you. I'm a little girl with a lot to talk about and no one to talk to. If you ever get annoyed, just tell me. Sure it'll hurt, but that's life. Back to grades. My 'friend' ( notice the quotes) is supersmart and I'm jealous of her. I have the quotes because she is not exactly my friend or companion or anything. I just call her if I didn't write down the Hw, or if I need help. At school, she gets annoyed at me, because she came from my elementayr school, and like I stated in the first letter, everyone weirdo shortie image is still in their heads. But during Spanish on Wednesdays, becuase our Spanish teacher has different seats for us each day for her class, MLE (lets call her that)and I sit next to eachother and laugh our heads off about pointless things. But she's not an official friend. More of someone I can count on and literally depend on her at times.
Yeah, well i no this is scary, but I no everything about her. (Ex: Whenever a teacher is asked by Emily to hear her grade, I know it already and I say it first. Ex: I no where she lives) Yeah well her averages: 1st term- 95.4 2nd term- 98.2 3rd term- 99.3 She fell short of a record done by a girl last year 3rd term- 99.4.
Well, it's like how others in the class feel about me. I naturally have the ability to do well. MLE has the natural ability to soar. And she's so pretty, and so developed, not too developed, just right. And she's 2 weeks younger than me! I wish I had everything she did, except 4 her brother, who's 3 years younger than her, he no cell phone life, and her dead split ends, which she's had since 5th grade, March 18.
Anything you say will make me happy, it doesn't have to be advice. (link)
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I'm not getting annoyed at all. I'm happy to listen.
You've already figured this out - you've said yourself that the way you feel envious of this girl is the way others feel about you.
In life, there will always be people who are better at something than you are - and always people who are worse.
The trick is being happy with what you can achieve and liking yourself. You don't need to compare yourself to other people, because the only one you can truly compete with is yourself.
I know that sounds cheesy, but I've found that the less comparing people do, the happier they become.
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Triple G coming at ya. Today we got our report cards. I got a 91.6. To some, that might actually sound good, but for me, it's bad. I used to have a 93. 8. My parents totally agreed that maybe they should talk to my teachers. Both of , them, not just the math. This hurts. For the 1st time in my whole history of grades, my grades actually went down. This has never happened in the history of my history. It's gonna take some time to get used to. My parents aren't mad. I mean, they expect me to do well, bcause i always do without stressing myself. But I don't want to do well. 80's are well, I want to be great. I wanna soar to high 90's and 100's. Doing well is what I do best, but I wanna go higher, and shine above the rest. Thank god, my SS teacher gave me 100 this term. It made up for the 5 points I loss from my math teacher. I hope she dies the most painful death there is out there. Just joking. As for science, you're right a little bit. For her grading system, quizzes are worth 60% of our grade. 75 is passing for our class. The test that brought me down was a 76. I still passed that test, although I spent a week of crying about such a low grade. Well, just wanted to talk, since I just came from school today with a big lonely apartemnt. If anything here seems like a time for advice, give your advice!
*Triple G* (link)
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Well, it's good to set expectations for yourself and work towards them. But it's also important to recognize that life is a series of ups and downs - and your grades just happen to be down right now.
Perhaps it might be a good idea to really try to sort out what the problem has been. Have you spent less time on homework? Is this all the fault of your maths class? Is there a pattern emerging, or is this report card just a fluke?
If you identify what the problem might be, then you can start to figure out how to combat it and overcome it.
With high grades like yours, this one dip shouldn't affect you too much. If anything, it'll give you an opportunity to learn how to react to stressful news in a positive way. It's impossible to avoid the sometimes lows in life, so it's a good idea to start now to deal with them in a good way.
Best of luck.
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Hi!! My boyfren and I having sex during my period? my bf released his sperm inside my pussy,its my second day of my period? am i going to get pregnant? (link)
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Hiya. Sex during your period means that it is unlikely you would get pregnant, but there is always a chance of pregnancy during unprotected sex - due to your individual cycle, any flukes that may happen, etc.
If you've got a concern about this, it's best to use protection all month long - as there are no guarantees of baby-free sex that's unprotected.
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Triple G.... again. I was reading all 46 pages of your column, and I was wondering,(what I'm asking here doesn't relate to me, I was just wondering) say if someone you don't know very well asks you out, like they say they've always been watching you and asking like your classmates bout you, don't you feel that you should at least give the person a chance?
(link)
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Well, it's really up to the person who is asked out. After all, they may feel uncomfortable going out with a virtual stranger. On the other hand, they might be flattered!
It took the person a big risk to admit how they felt in the first place, but all the other person really owes them is kindness - whether they accept or not.
Perhaps a better way for that person to proceed in the future would be to do everything they did this time - except to start by slowly talking to their crush first. This gives both people a chance to get to know each other better, become more comfortable, and to decide whether they are really attracted to each other.
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Hey, 13 year old sucide girl again. I decided, I'm gonna write to you anytime something concerns me. From now on, I'll just call myself Triple G, and you can call me that too. It stands for 'Guyanese Good Girl'. Anyway, I need someone to talk to. Third marking period report cards are about to come out, and the teachers are telling us our grades. I cried during Spanish, because of my grades. My freakin' math teachers made me go 5 points lower in her class just because I was absent when we were doing some group thing in class. When I came back, I asked her about it, and she said it was part of my grade, but she'll think of something fair. I reminded her abot what she said, and she just said' what I'm doing is fair, you weren't here it's part of her grade. And when I had the flu, I called her and she said we did nothing important, and if I was still sick, to saty home. Now I get an 85 in her class, for listening to her. Is that unfair, or what? My parents agree with me. Then, my science teacher gave us our grades. I went down 11 points in her class. Now I have an 80. I went to her and asked her why, and she said because I got a 73 on one of my test. R my teachers hating on me, or what? (link)
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Well hi, Triple G. Nice to meetcha.
If your maths teacher said to stay home and that you were not missing anything important, then it seems fair to say she should not count your absence against you - or she should offer you a chance to earn back your points.
Is it a possibility for your parents to come into school and talk with the teacher? Unfortunately, teachers may take the complaint of an adult more seriously than that of a student. You could come with your parents and calmly let your teacher know that you are willing to complete a similar assignment to raise your grade. After all, if you were genuinely ill it is no fault of your own.
As far as your science teacher goes, this sounds like a more realistic mark. If your overall grade is composed of all the grades you get on tests, homework, etc, then one less-terrific grade on a test would certainly have an effect on your overall grade.
While her marking you down is fair, it's also up to you to ask if there is anything you can do for extra credit. Your teacher doesn't have to offer you anything, but if she does you can then help move your grade back up.
Best of luck.
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I'm the same 13/f who used 2 have the suicide problems and still has the sick little sister. Yeah, so 2 years ago, when I was in 6th grade, my breasts started to develop. When they did, they pained me very badly, especially if someone accidently knocked it. When they develpoed in 6th grade, they developed with lumps. In fact, if u took out those lumps, I wouldn't have breats, I'm just flat like that. But these lumps hurt so bad, is it possible to get breast cancer when ur so young? Or is that how it's supposed to be? (link)
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Breasts of all shapes and sizes will have lumps, which is why it's important to get comfortable with the individual make up of your breasts. This allows you to feel if anything has changed or new lumps have developed, which means you'll need to get checked out by a doctor.
It's common for breasts to be really sore when developing - and right before a period. This can include extreme tenderness to touch, movement, etc.
Every pair of breasts is unique. It might be perfectly normal for your breasts to be lumpy, or it might be a sign for concern. A doctor is really the only person who could check things out - it is unlikely that you would have cancer, but you could have harmless cysts. Either way, getting your questions answered means you'll be better prepared to take care of your body in the future, with regular self-exams of your breasts.
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I'm the same 13/f who was talking about suicide. Now,I have a new problem. I've had my period twice before. Now I should have been getting my period. But I haven't gotten it as yet. Either I'm anorexic(possibly, becuase I only weigh 59 pounds), I'm pregnant(not really possible, I never had any intercourse), or it's just that I'm getting irregular periods because I just started. I'm not under any stress, or maybe I am, I just don't know. What really could it be?
I rate 5 (link)
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Well, you've outlined some of the common problems. Your weight could be an issue, but if you've gotten your periods before at this weight, it might not actually factor in - unless you've lost weight, started exercing more, etc.
Chances are you're a bit irregular because it can take the body awhile to get used to the hormones. A good way to start keeping track of your period if to circle the days you have it on a calender. This way, if you continue to feel worried about your period, you have an exact record of when you've gotten it - and you can show your doctor.
It could take around a year for your periods to even out. However, anytime you feel concerned a doctor is really the best person to put your mind at ease. If your period doesn't come in the next month or so, you could have a regular check-up to make sure everything's fine.
Best of luck!
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when a woman goes thur menopause is it harder to have an oragasm? will vaginal dryness continue after menopause i am a 49 year old black female (link)
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Orgasms, whatever stage of life, are mainly a state of mind. This means that it totally depends on how sexual you are as a person, how excited you feel at any given time, how you feel about the person you're having sex with, and how your body responds.
Vaginal dryness is common. A doctor would be able to recommend more medical solutions for this, such as special inserts for the vagina and hormone replacement therapy. They would also be able to answer specific questions about your individual body chemistry.
One easy, cheap solution is to buy a water-based lubricant at your local pharmacy or sex store. These tend to act like your natural body fluid. After a period of time they can start to become sticky, but a small spritz of water (or some more lubricant) will moisten things right back up.
Making sure your vagina is properly lubricated can be a key ingredient to making sex feel good to you - and therefore help you achieve orgasm.
Best of luck.
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(f/17)k so lots of people think this is weird, but i am a lesbian and still want to have my OWN children. i am in the most amazing relationship, we are very open and honest and she clearly said she wants kids, but doesnt want to be pregnant, but she thinks it is a beautiful thing to watch(see the belly growing,etc)and we have lots of plans for the future, we even picked a name for a boy, DAMIEN and the thing i have to ask is...
how would i get pregnant without a man?
ive heard about INVITRO-FERTILIZATION..but how does that work??
thanks
(link)
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You have several options for trying to get pregnant.
First, you can have a 'known' donor. This can be a friend or relative. Essentially, you need access to their sperm soon after they ejaculate - you and your partner would then insert it to you while at home. This could happen with a syringe, turkey baster, or other implement.
Second, you could have an unknown donor. This would be someone from a sperm bank. Your options would be to have it delivered to your home and then inseminate yourself, or to be inseminated at a clinic.
These options are the easier and less expensive, and what many people would try before invitro. This process involves harvesting your eggs (removing them from your body), mixing them with sperm, and then implanting the zygote into your womb. This procedure has a low success rate and often needs to be repeated.
The first two could require you to pay for the sperm, but essentially it's quite similar to anyone trying to get pregnant. When it was closer to the time, you would begin to monitor your periods, when you ovulate, etc - to determine your most fertile time. A doctor would be able to give you other healthy tips that could optimize your chances of conception.
Best of luck!
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im 19 and my girlfreind is 17 an at times she is in love with each other but it seems every few months a the drop of a dime she has no intrest in me what so ever. we have been of and on for 19 months now and i love her to death but i dont know if she not ready for a relationship or is just a nut case. Im really tired of going through this. we have so much in common and It would apear we were the perfict couple. should i just move on? (link)
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I think the idea of a 'perfect' couple is something of a myth. After all, you are both very real people, and real people have flaws, quirks, and insecurities.
Have you discussed this issue with your girlfriend? She might not be aware she is acting this way, or of the impact it has on you. It's understandable that you are wondering what's going on, and only your girlfriend can provide the answers.
If this is a pattern that keeps happening - even after discussion - then you will need to do some serious thinking. Are you willing to stay with someone who acts this way? Do the positives outweigh the negatives?
Are you happy? That's really the ultimate question. Sometimes it's possible to genuinely love someone who does not love you back the way you need, and that's a very hard relationship to end as you'll hold out hope that things will change.
In order to be fairest to your girlfriend and yourself, you need to have a discussion about how you both feel about the relationship. Avoid blaming her or being judgemental - you can just focus on how YOU feel when she loses interest.
You both deserve to be fulfilled and deeply happy in a relationship, and I wish you the best - whatever you decide.
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