I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female Location: Texas Age: 34 Member Since: December 17, 2006 Answers: 795 Last Update: September 2, 2007 Visitors: 50050
Main Categories: Health General Sex Questions Parenting View All
Favorite Columnists Xenolan
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I know this might sound really weird but I cant find the whole in my vagina to finger myself. I think I'm just really scared to stick a finger in there because it will hurt. Idk can someone please explain where it is? (link)
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Take a look at this:
http://images.google.com/imgres?
imgurl=http://www.wisc.edu/ansci_repro
/lec/lec1/female_images/images_label/
human_female_ext_gen.jpg&imgrefurl=
http://www.wisc.edu/ansci_repro/lec/lec1
/female_hist.html&h=263&w=450&sz=27&tbnid=
LtAUnc6YhB1zyM:&tbnh=74&tbnw=127&prev=/
images%3Fq%3Dfemale%2Banatomy&start=1&sa=
X&oi=images&ct=image&cd=1
Aim for the one labeled 'vaginal orifice.' It may be covered by the hymen, which is a thin membrane. If it is, it may hurt if you stretch the hymen with your finger.
Sabine
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i think im bipolar.it runs in my family.i have 95% of symptoms.how do i tell my parents? (link)
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I'm not sure what the first poster was trying to get across, but I think it may have been that if bipolar runs in your family, your parents might not be surprised to hear that you think you have it. Are you worried they won't believe you? Have you had an episodes at home where you think they might already suspect that you are? I would just tell them what you're feeling and seeing. If you tell them and then feel they blow you off and it's seriously affecting your life, you can talk with a school counselor.
Sabine
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21, f and not US/EN.
I'm really confused and I really need some advice. I hope this question will not be banned or deleted, as far as I can tell it doesn't contain any illegal or obscene content.
So here's the "plot": How would you _mature_ people out there rate a (still) innocent "flirt" with an University teacher? The age range is something like: I'm 21, he's around his 40s. We're both single, we're both geeks in our field and we somehow sympathize each other. Hell, even my colleagues noticed that... Even if they don't know I've been having such a huge crush on this guy for more than a year... Nothing beyond this stage, but I feel it's kind of possible to push this relation to a higher level. (He seems to be a very shy and sensitive guy so I guess I shall be the one to do the first step - *if* there'll ever be a first step, that is...) What are your thoughts on this? Could this be considered "un-ethical"? Or bad, or... whatever?
I'd appreciate your feedback, since I can't think of anyone to whom I could ask this question. (link)
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I agree that it's a bad idea, in general. You two should be in very different stages in your lives. But you're an adult and if you choose to give your heart to him, just be aware of the risks. He could get fired. You could get expelled. It all depends on the university's policies. Even if he's not your professor and even if you meet outside of the academic setting, there still could be serious consequences. I'd say there's nothing morally wrong with it as long as you are not his student or working under him in a lab or something and as long as neither of you are married or in another committed relationship.
Sabine
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What should I do ? (link)
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The first thing you should do is be sure you drink enough water every day. Then you should use any moisturizer that feels good. Some of them have bees' wax or carnuaba (?) wax, which can be kind of hard. There are liquid versions if that works better for you. If you seem to have a lack of saliva and your mouth is generally dry, that's something you should bring up with your doctor at your next visit.
Sabine
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ok so basicly
i think i have to have all my wisdom teeth out
and that freaks me out...
i would rather be unconcious during it, but NO, i cant.
and i have small mouth, and idk.. i'm scared (link)
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Many, many of us have gone through it. I wasn't asleep, either, but I was comfortable with the anesthetic. They will give you pain pills for afterward. The important thing to remember is that ice is your friend right afterward. Eat something a couple of hours before the procedure because you won't be able to eat for a while afterward. Don't eat just before, in case you get nauseated. Talk to parents, siblings, or friends who have already had this done. It's not that terrible. The worst thing I remember is the pressure, not the pain. It's not that bad. Good luck.
Sabine
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So i've got blood in my stool.
it's not really in my stool. it's more like anal bleeding. the toilet bowl water wasn't red but .. yeah.
I have had hemorrhoids... is that what happened?
I'm a young teenager too!
Why is this happening to me? It's scaring me.
Is there some fiber pill to take?
I have stopped drinking soda and I only drink water now. I have for about 5-6 months and I rarely ever eat junk food.
I am rarely ever constipated. (link)
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Yes, having worked for gastroenterologists, my advice is that you need to be seen. It's not usually an emergency and you can see your primary care doctor or pediatrician. You are likely going to have to tell a parent, but I'm sure they'll be supportive. You can use Benefiber, which is a powder that dissolves in liquids. You can put it in yogurt, etc. Try to avoid fibers like Metamucil with the ingredient psillium as that stuff gives most people gas. Meanwhile, there are over-the-counter things such as Tucks and Preparation H. If the blood is bright red, it is likely due to hemorrhoids, but you should definitely see your doctor to make sure it's nothing more serious, like an anal fissure or a tumor (unlikely). If it's dark and tarry, or like coffee grounds, then you should still see someone because that's a sign the blood is coming from higher up in the digestive tract. I know it's embarassing, but it's not uncommon. Most of us have hemorrhoids at some point in life. Good luck.
Sabine
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I'm 21 and i'm engaged, my fiance is 24. I kmow you thinking that i'm to young but we have been together for almost two years. Recently we got in a fight about when we were going to get married. We originally wanted the date to be somewhere around April, but when I told him that I was thinking about waiting until I finished college he got so upset. He kept saying that us getting married wouldn't interfer with my work but I really want to wait. Planning a wedding takes up so much time. So anyways he just left afterwards and said that he would be back later. I stayed up and by 2:00 he still wasn't back and I started freaking out. I called some of his friends, but he wasn't with them. So by then I was really freaking out, then he came home around 2:30 drunk. I started yelling at him about how much he scared me, and he just blew up and started screaming at me. We've hardly ever gotten into a fight before, not like this. He started saying a lot of crap and practilly accused me of cheating on him and sleeping around, and also saying that I didn't love him. So we were fighting and then he hit me. He's never done that before.I ran into our room and locked the door. I cryed myself to sleep after that. The next morning I could tell how sorry he was when I woke up. He somehow managed to unlock the door, there were flowers and chocolate on the bed next to me and a note saying how sorry he was. When I got out of bed he was cooking breakfast and when he saw me he walked over to me and kissed me saying how sorry he was and asking for my forgiveness. He said that we could wait to get married as long as I wanted and started going on about how he could skip work and we could spend the day together. Does he honestly think that that would make everything okay? Was it supposed to? I told him I didn't want to spend the day together, and went back to our room and started packing. I din't want to be their. He tried to stop me from going but I just told him I would be gone for a while and left. I needed to think. Now it's been a week later and i'm staying with my friend who lives in Boston. (I live in New York)But I feel guilty for leaving, but why should I it's only fair. He walked out on me didn't he? And I miss him. I don't want to miss him, and I feel stupid for missing him after what he did to me. Am I being fair? He's called me a zillion times since then. I never answer the phone, but he's left a bunch of messages saying how worried he is about me and how sorry he is, and I guess part of me wants him to feel bad, even though I love him. I do still love him I just don't know what to do. I'm I being selfish in ignoring him and running away from my problems. I'v never ad to deal with anything like this and like I said I don't know how to deal with the situation. What should I do? Should I go home? Should I forgive him. I mean he just made one mistake, granted a big mistake, but everyone makes mistakes right? I'm just so confused. Please help! (link)
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Don't go back to him until he agrees to some counseling. It's not a good sign. Look up domestic violence and see that the 'hearts and flowers' phase is what you're experiencing now in the cycle of domestic violence. Be cautious now because you don't want to be married and then have this happen again, only next time you have to protect children. Whatever you do, finish your education before you get married so he can't hold that over you. Be cautious.
Sabine
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Why is it that in movies where there's scenes that people are masturbating, they appear to be enjoying it just as much as real sex? I mean, isn't real sex better than masturbating? Just wondering. What's your opinion? (link)
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If you ask me, they're just two different sex acts. Two different categories. You can say that intercourse is better than masturbation. That's true if the need being filled is an emotional one as well as a bodily one. If a person just needs bodily pleasure, however, masturbation is a good option. You know best what turns you on and you can feel free to indulge in fantasy. You can be totally selfish and not worry about what your lover wants when you masturbate and it's over much more quickly. Of course, it lacks the emotional fullness of intercourse shared with someone you love, but it still releases your sexual tension.
Sabine
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i was really in love with a guy and recently we broke up. He asked that we do not contact each other at all. His friends, whom i go to school with, say things like "u can do better" and "ill show u how its supposed to be". How can I get over him and go to school without feeling looked down upon or depressed? (link)
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Dear, when they say you can do better, they may just be being kind, but when they say they'll show you how it's supposed to be, I think they're trying to say that they're interested. Maybe not, but maybe so. What you can do is tell yourself that you are better off without him, which you are, and after a while, you will see that it is true. Nearly all of us get dumped sometimes and we dump sometimes. It's not anything to be ashamed of. You can look at it as it simply didn't work out or you can look at it as the guy just didn't know what he had. You'll make it without him. Keep your head up and others will want to be with you.
Sabine
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Ok so theres this boy named Josh.I loved him and Im the same age as him, we were born on the same day same year{which is just something that I like}I only talk to him online and yes i know him in person we go to the same school same grade but in person at school with all his friends he treats me like crap, but were like 1 on the computer and I just dont get it.I dont want to love him anymore but I cant talk to him about it cause then I would be selface... January 21st his sister died of cancer and he came to me for help and I know what he's going through cause my uncle died of cancer too.But i cant tell him stop being nice to me I need to stop loving you because Ive tried and he's told me he has more on his mind then who likes him and I felt hrrible afterwards but anyway.....Rachel my friend also likes him and I called her every name in the book, she asked him out last weekend and he said "no" and he told me he said no and i told him I loved him and i think he took it as a joke but i ment it literally.So im making fun of rachel yelling at her when josh is like stop yelling at my girlfriend. and i freeze. I ran outa the room crying and josh fallowed me out and rachel just stayed there in his living room. I sat on his bed and couldnt stop crying when he kissed me! I told him i wanted to go home because she was rude and then he lad me on the bed and kissed me on the lips.... i sat right up and was like i thought she was your girlfriend how can you say that and just kiss me.. {not saying i didnt like it}. and he's like well she's not but I miss my sister and Im like so thats your excuse? the door was closed so rachel has no idea what happened and were friends but they are going out and josh is still rude to me in school but outside he acts like were going out but you can tell theres pitty in his eyes. then sunday everyones together chilling when I say im going to the bathroom and Josh fallows me out and everyone makes a -o0o0o0o- sound and rachel wasnt there so she STILL doesnt kno. I said I really did have to go to the bathroom and he was like well lets go to my bedroom and kiss and I flipped!! I was like so you can kiss me alone but in public you dont know me and left the holl party! its not really a question but im just o confused (link)
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I'm sorry you're going through this. You need to have boundaries. No matter that his sister died. No matter what's going on, you deserve to be treated with respect. I'm not saying you need to stop liking him, but I am saying you need to pull away from the situation until Josh makes up his mind who he likes. And it has to be in *all* circles. Real relationships don't change depending on who's there. If he really likes you, he needs to have the courage to stand up in front of anyone and say so. Otherwise, he's getting what he wants from you and he's too chicken to be an individual with his own opinion while you're at school. I say you need to just get away from this all - including Rachel - until everyone makes up their minds about what they want.
Sabine
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Well im only 15 and my mom would knoww that my boyfriend and i have sex then. and she already told me if she ever found out i couldnt ever see him again. but since i know my boyfriend doesnt have any stds and i havent been with anybody else, does that mean i cant have that pelvic inflammatory disease? (link)
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No, it doesn't mean that. You can get it from all sorts of bacteria. The gyn might tell your mother that you are sexually active. I don't know. You can also sometimes get these things taken care of at a planned parenthood clinic without your parents knowing. If you're concerned about your doctor telling your mother about the sex, you can call first, anonymously, and explain the situation and ask how much the doctor would be required to tell your parent. Also, would your boyfriend's mother be of any help? If she bought you tampons, does she know about your sexual activities and is she okay with it? Would you be able to talk with her about it? I know you don't want to upset your mom and have her declare that you can no longer see your boyfriend, but you do want to get this taken care of since, if it is PID, it can affect your fertility permanently if it is not taken care of in addition to being a health hazard now. If you do decide to tell your mom, you can bring up the fact that PID (if that's what it is) can come from any bacteria, not just STDs.
I hope I have helped.
Sabine
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i got in a fight with one of my best friends, and i don't want to be friends with her again, i mean i forgive her i just don't want to be buddy buddy with her anymore. My other best friend keeps trying to solve my problems and make us be friends again, but its none of her buisness. I've told her that im not going to change, but she wont stop bugging me. im fixin to get in a fight with her too! how can i tell her to stop, and that she wont fix anything? (< ive already tried telling her that, it's like she doesn't understand english) (link)
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I'd just tell the second friend, whom you're still friends with, that you understand she still likes friend 1 and that's lovely. However, you have grown apart from friend 1 and no longer share common interests. She is welcome to continue to be friends with friend 1, but you intend to move on. Let her know that she doesn't have to choose between the two of you.
Sabine
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I know i love my boyfriend. I know because.. well.. i just know. I don't have to think about it twice and i care about him so much. And sometimes when were just laying together i want to say it to him soo badly. But i don't.
You see, we've been dating for about 7 months and the only times we really say i love you is like if were signing off aim or through a text message. Never in person yet though. I feel like that is a pretty big step. But i know i want to.
I have reservations though: Is saying "i love you" for the first time the boys job? What if i say it and he doesn't say anything back? Should i say it at a random time or plan it?
If anyone has been in this situation please help me out. Even if you havn't and you have an opinion, anything would be appreciated! thanks so much. (link)
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OMG. If you feel it, don't be shy to say it. He's probably waiting for you. Just say it casually, the first time, like when you're leaving each other. See if he says it back. Don't do it in front of friends. If he says it back, I say pull him into a long embrace, look straight into his eyes, and say it again. Most people really like hearing their significant others say "I love you." If he's not ready for it, then either you're too young or he doesn't feel the same way for a different reason, but he shouldn't be saying it by text. I think you'll be okay. Dive in head-first, girl!
Sabine
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I am on dance team at my school. Right now we have a very low amount of money in our account and we can't afford to do something we really wanted to. What are some good ways to raise money?
We already did a bake sale and didn't make much, and we're not allowed to do a car wash. (link)
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How about selling something that people really want, like pizzas that you make? Holding a dance clinic for school-aged children where you teach them simple routines? I've paid $25 plus $10 for a t-shirt for one of these clinics for a 5-year-old. At that dance clinic, they had the children for 4 hours, the children brought a sack lunch, and they had a performance at 1:00 PM, after which the dance troupe performed. The dancers also donated old dance costumes and sold them. You can solicit local organizations for prizes and then sell raffle tickets and raffle them off. You could do something at school (with permission)like selling cupid-grams to be delivered at school. I hope I've given you some ideas.
Sabine
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im having little cramps down there, and ive had a headache for 3 days now. and it looks like im "discharging" more or whatever. its not because my period is coming soon, because i just got done with it 4 days ago. yes im sexually active if that matters and i last had sex 3 days ago. i dont really get what toxic shock syndrome is but could that be what it is? i had a tampon in for 8 hours at his house on saturday and then his mom went and bought me some tampons. what do you think is wrong? oh yeah and is it normal that that ball thing inside of me (im guessing its the uterus) hurts when i have sex? like each time it goes in and hits it, it hurts? y does it hurt? sorry for so many questions. (link)
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Well, I don't think you have TSS, unless you forgot to take out your last tampon. But you could have Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/PID/STDFact-PID.htm
The "ball thing" you're speaking of is probably your cervix. It should be the only thing you can feel inside your vagina. Sometimes when the cervix gets hit by the penis during a thrust, it can cause pain. It is a muscular organ and when it gets hit, it tends to ball up and cramp.
Anyway, you should get yourself to an OB/GYN ASAP and ask these questions. Be watchful of increasing pelvic pain and fever. If those develop, you should call your doctor right away.
Sabine
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15/f
recently i feel like no matter what i do, life screws me over. my one friend got mad at me for drinking, so i stopped; but she still doesnt talk to me. my best friend that i used to do that stuff with now only hangs around her new friend, and my oldest friend is now suicidal, anorexic, and bi- which i don't care about but it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. i have other friends at school, but i'm not as close with them ... like i wouldn't make plans with them on the weekends. so now i basically stay in every weekend and get more unhappy. i tried concentrating on schoolwork harder, but its just gotten me more stressed out than i was before. i have also tried looking forward to events that i had planned before, like my sweet 16, but now that my social life is such a much i don't even want to have that. to top it all of, the anniverisary of my cousin's death is coming up which makes me even more sad. i act happy in school and i still try hard and i try to make the right choices, but my life turns out like this- why bother? i feel like transferring schools or something, but this isn't an option... ANY hints on how to feel better/fix my social life? thanks :/ (link)
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Two small bits of advice. The first is that if you have friends at school, but you're not close to them and you spend your weekends home alone and this bothers you - get closer to them and ask them to do things on the weekends. You are in charge of your own social life and if it's not satisfying, change things. If those aren't friends you would want to hang out with on weekends, then find more friends. You would be surprised sometimes at how many people you thought would not be good friends can turn out to be fun and interesting and worth knowing. Second, you should speak with a counselor, possibly your school counselor about all of this stuff. The death of a family member is very hard (I know personally) and with your birthday coming up, you're expressing loss of interest in things you used to like doing. That's one sign of clinical depression. You should talk to someone about it.
Hope it helps and you're back to your old self (without the drinking) soon.
Sabine
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im sick
and i have like blisters at the top of my mouth
idk how they got there
any ideas how to make them go away
(link)
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younggrandma is right. Go see a doctor. In the meantime, swish with 1/2 water, 1/2 peroxide and then with salt dissolved in warm water. Swishing with Benadryl elixir will also help (you can get that over-the-counter and a pharmacist can verify that this is a common remedy). Soak your toothbrush in Listerine to kill anything that might be on it and get a new toothbrush once these blisters heal. Hope you feel better. :(
Sabine
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i took 14 ibprofiens. can i die? or throw up? (link)
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Why did you do that? You need to get help right away from a friend or parent. Usually, you don't die from 14 Ibuprofen. It can cause kidney damage in the long run and might give you a bleeding ulcer, though. You should get help right away, though.
Sabine
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could someone please tell me what the symptoms of having a misscarage are. I had a baby 2 months ago and i've already had my period and been off it for two weeks and i woke up with some stomach cramps and bleeding.Please resopnd asap (link)
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Check out this website.
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/miscarriage.html
Miscarriages are common. Are you sure you've resumed menstruation? Most women have lochia for up to six weeks after birth (that's bloody discharge that's kind of like a period). If you had your period two weeks ago, you should just be ovulating about now and it's not likely that an embryo would have had time to be fertilized and implant in your uterus and then miscarried. It's still possible, though.
Which is why you should call your OB/GYN now.
I hope you feel better.
Sabine
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does anyone know any tips to make the area under my eyes brighter? wen i wake up, its really dark and i look gross =[
or any eyeshadows i can wear to make my eyes pop?
(i have brown eyes.) (link)
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Use a concealer just a tad lighter than your skin tone to brighten up that area. To make brown eyes pop, you can use navy blue eye liner and black or brownish black mascara. To look more awake, line only the top lid. I have brown eyes and I use navy once in a while, but I generally prefer a sable brown and I just line the top. Also, Physician's Formula makeup (in Target/Walmart) has some color correcting makeup which might brighten under your eyes. Hope it helps.
Sabine
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